Chapter Ten
Memories
Gabby sprung from bed and ran into the bathroom. She leaned over the toilet and puked for what seemed like hours. Stanton came in and held her hair out of the way. She felt him start to push into her mind. She set up a solid barricade and refused to allow him entrance. He looked at her with a shocked expression.
"Why don't you want me in your mind," he said gently. Gabby leaned over the toilet and puked again. "Gabby, you can tell me anything."
Gabby looked up into his eyes and simply asked, "What time is it?"
Stanton stared. He looked as if he was going to say something but thought better of it and looked at his watch. "It's about half past four."
Gabby cursed under her breath and whispered, "Just over an hour. It was just over an hour."
"What was?" Stanton sat on the floor next to her and brushed some flyaway strands of hair from her face.
"A terrible nightmare I had. I got hurt twice in it and I swear I felt the pain. It was unbearable. It felt like I was dying."
Stanton put his arm around her, just as he did in the dream. He pulled her to him and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Let me in your mind so I can see it myself."
Gabby pulled away and looked at him meaningfully. "No," she said. She had a tone in her voice that implied the discussion was over, but Stanton kept pushing.
"Gabby, this is the second time you have denied me entrance to your thoughts. What is it? What don't you want me to know?" Gabby was silent. She got up to leave but he grabbed her hand and stopped her. "You once spoke of trust. You said that if I told
you what I was hiding, you could trust me. You told me that you trusted me, you could love me. I understand if there are some things that you want to remain private, but if you could trust me before and can't now, at least tell me what I can do to get your trust again."
Gabby stared at him in disbelief. She pressed into his mind and he pushed her out. He stood up and pushed her against the wall. He tightened his grip on her but not to tight as to cause her severe pain. "You never, and I mean never, go into a superior's mind without an invite. I let it go, that you denied your superior entrance to your mind, but I only did because of my feelings for you. However, Gabby, that was too far. If you pulled a stunt like this with any other member of the Cincti, then you would be dead. Don't ever do that again." He released her and she was trembling with fear.
Gabby collapsed to the floor and shudder violently. Stanton reached down to comfort her and she pulled out of his grasp. "Don't touch me," she screamed. She used the wall to brace herself. She continued to shake and tears poured from her eyes. Everything bad that had happened to her began to materialize in her mind.
Stanton bent down and softly said, "What's wrong Gabby? Tell me so I can make it go away."
Gabby stared at him. How could she tell him what she worked so hard to suppress from her mind. She had never felt so scared since right after Jack died. After his funeral Gabby went into a deep depression. She was given heavy medication but never seemed to pull out of it. She stopped seeing her friends and spent all her time inside. One day her mom came home early and found Gabby on the floor with an empty bottle of her new tranquilizers next to her.
Her mom rushed her to the emergency room where they pumped her stomach and nearly lost her twice. They said that if
Gabby had gotten there one minute later, it would have been too late. Her parents sent her to the psychiatric ward. She was given therapy and nobody understood her. She told her psychiatrist that it wasn't a big deal. She said that everyone while they were a teenager considered death as an option, and that she was just one of the few with the guts to go through with it.
She stayed at the clinic for six months before she broke down and said how she blamed herself for Jack's death and how she needed for the pain to end forever. She said that death was the only solution that kept the pain away permanently. She began rehabilitation and completed it successfully in two months.
She was released at age fifteen and had five months until her sixteenth birthday. She went back to school and was still a loner. She never hooked back up with her old friends because they didn't get it. She got involved with the wrong people and started drinking and doing drugs. Her parents found out and she was given more rehab for it. Two months after she turned sixteen her rehab was over and her parents moved to LA for a change of scenery. They were glad she made new friends and were ecstatic when she started to date again.
Over her four months in drug rehab she ignored what had happened to her though she still remembered Jack. After she moved to LA she forgot her drug rehab and suppressed all of her memories.
Gabby had no idea where to begin. She said, "Stanton, I had a nightmare and now I can't deal with your anger. I don't care about the rules of superiority and crap like that, I am your girlfriend and if I don't want you in my mind, you don't keep pushing. If you try then I will try to get in your mind, because it's only fair. If you ever push me against the wall like that and yell at me like that, I don't know how much longer we'll be together."
Gabby got up and stormed out of the bathroom. She grabbed her pillow and a blanket. The bathroom door opened and Stanton
walked out. "What are you doing," he asked.
"I am sleeping on the couch tonight. I would ask you to but since you lived here first, I will sleep elsewhere."
"You don't have to sleep anywhere else other than my bed. With me," he added.
"Well, I wouldn't feel very comfortable. I'll see you in the morning Stanton." Gabby turned her back on Stanton and headed downstairs. She made a bed on the couch and slept until seven.
Gabby woke with the sun ablaze. She went upstairs silently and peered in Stanton's room. He was sound asleep. She tiptoed across the room and picked up her bag. She showered quickly and got dressed. She wore a long lacey black skirt that went all the way to her ankles, matching tank top, and her knee high black boots. She clipped her hair up. She applied dark purple eye shadow, dark purple lipstick, and some very light blush. She went downstairs and picked up her messenger bag. She searched for her black sunglasses inside her bag and put them on when she found them. Gabby hurried outside and walked, where, she didn't even know herself.
