Sex Therapy
A/N:
Beware children.
The word "fuck" is used in here.
There is angst sex.
It's graphic.
Turn back, kids.
Fuck.
After their heated argument earlier, he wasn't too happy with the way things ended between them. It hadn't actually ended officially, but it seemed like it when he stormed out on Kate. Martha was right, love isn't a switch, you can't just turn it off. By the words of Martha's, he openly wondered how he let himself fall in love with Kate. But that wasn't until he found out when she confronted him about it.
She loves him.
Castle was selfish. He didn't care to hear the momentous words. Instead, he stormed out. There were so many ways he could have done to fix the situation, but thanks to his stupid selfish ego. Part of him hoped he hadn't heard that out of the ridiculous argument. Another time would have been sufficient and easy.
But nothing is ever easy with Kate. Things were always complicated, no matter what, they couldn't seem to bring themselves into telling each other how they feel on a regular day. Unlike the two wives he had, Kate was the one to hurt his heart several times, and they weren't even dating.
Castle took the time to wander around the city of New York by himself after the fight. He needed to reflect on it, replaying her words in his mind, and determine how to act on it. It was either he would go back, forgive her for not telling him she remembered, or to leave the precinct for good, pick up the pieces and move on. But Castle couldn't stop loving her, even if he tried. A few months of summer apart didn't do justice, he always found himself going back to Kate.
Kate had never felt so exposed. She told him, and he walked out on her. She was afraid of the fact that the moment she tells him, he would walk out, and he did. Silly Kate, beforehand she replayed the scenario in her mind of how Castle was going to forgive her. He would kiss her, forgive her, and eventually lead to a good life.
That was just a dream of hers, and it flushed down the toilet drain.
She went home to her loft late after work, with a brand new opened bottle of bourbon whiskey on the kitchen table. Kate gulped the first shot without hesitating. Like hell she wants to deal with this feeling soberly, she wanted to ease the pain, and what's one way to solve that? Alcohol. When her mom died, her father resorted to alcohol. It wasn't the best method to go with, but she understood why he drank because he was in pain. Kate felt sick to the stomach when she watched Castle left.
She hadn't planned to get drunk either, but from the looks of it, it was heading down that path.
Fuck it. Castle thought, he wasn't going to wait any longer. Just fuck it. Why the hell should he even torture himself if he leaves the precinct? Not only he'd torture himself, he'd torture Kate. Possibilities ran through in his mind of how she was going to deal with it. Not one second he liked the idea of Kate driving herself into a whole different personality nobody knew she had.
It wasn't a chance he was going to take, but he couldn't bear another moment without her. Not after what he had just heard from Kate's own mouth. Something he longed for, and it came out in a horrible situation. Esposito and Ryan were surely going to kill him if they didn't make things right. If Castle was to tell them his side of the story, they would side with Beckett and tell Castle to man up. They are Kate's loyal friends after all.
Castle slid himself into the backseat of the cab, gave out Kate's address. He figured she might be home by now, where else could she be at? Lanie's? Might as well start somewhere. Slipping a $100 bill through the rectangular hole to bribe him into speeding. He needed to see her as soon as possible.
Kate poured her second glass of bourbon, but she didn't chug it down. She grabbed her glass with the bottle in her other hand, walking over to the couch. She hated herself for the way things left off with Castle. It could have gone so much better, if she hadn't been holding back for so long. So many chances she could have given, and yet the timing sucked. At the retreat, she spoke with Courtney, even though she wasn't Burke, but she was straight to the point with Kate.
She was going to talk to him, but then shit kept happening. Ryan and Esposito interrupted their little intimate moment during the one morning they shared, things could have gone from there, but it didn't. After their last session, she was about to communicate with Castle, but he was focusing on the case. She couldn't blame him for that, it was a break they needed.
God.
She sat down on the couch, rested the bottle on the low table in front of her, glass in hand. Kate was staring off into space, nothing in particular she was looking at, just losing herself in thoughts. Things were just fucked up at the time. What is she going to do tomorrow when she goes to work? What will Ryan and Esposito think when they don't see Castle? Will Castle show up? Uncomfortable questions were going to attack her, and she didn't want to deal with it at work. Gates would have wanted to know as well.
There would certainly be some intervention from Lanie and the boys if she decides to keep up with the awkwardness and the hiding. She prodded her head back against the couch after breaking her contact, switching over to the ceiling. "Fuck." She mumbled.
Castle got to Kate's loft in just a shy of 15 minutes. It wasn't too bad, but on the way over was torturous. His brain was fried up with all the ridiculous plans and thoughts of what to say. Not only that, it was frustrating the hell out of him. The emotions were all over the place. He felt a bit of love there, betrayal, lied to, and above all, curious on how things would go from now on.
He arrived at the loft, took the elevator up to her floor and speed-walked to her door. He told himself that he would rush over, knock away and wait. But the moment he reached the door, his heartbeats elevated, and his stomach was churning of nervous sickness. He's been rejected before like it was nothing, but this was a different situation.
Things might have been picked up where they left off. There could be another argument. She could scream, she could hit him for being the jerk he had been recently. Or worst of all, Kate would open up the door and say, "Don't bother coming to see me anymore, I want you out for good."
This was stopping Castle from knocking on her door. He stared blankly at the wooden door, muttering to himself to try and motivate himself to knock on the goddamn door. "Come on, Rick... Come on. Don't be a pussy."
Kate drank her second shot within a few seconds. She wasn't going to get drunk from two shots, but some alcohol in her body would calm her down a little to numb the pain. Kate stared at the cell phone on the table in front of her where she left it the moment she came home from work. She could just grab it to call Castle and try again.
But she didn't want to anger him any more than she already did. Kate felt like the worst person in the world. The worst friend Castle's ever had. She kept hurting him constantly, whether it's physical or emotional. It's often the emotions, she didn't see it much until she saw him at the book signing after her near death experience from the sniper. He was upset when she spoke to him, he didn't seem so happy to see her either.
She looked over to the bottle, away from the phone. Decided not to call him, for now. She might change her mind later on, but not now. Kate reached over to settle the empty glass down next to the bottle.
Castle stared at the door for almost two minutes. He could have sworn someone walked by him, looking at him like he's a creep for staring down at a random door. But the person ignored him and moved on. It wasn't their place to disturb Castle. He took a deep sigh before resting his fist in the air. Gathering up the courage to knock on the door.
Just do it.
His hand almost touched the door, but he paused it, having doubts out of nowhere.
Fucking do it.
Castle shook his head abruptly, another sigh. He retreated his hand back away from the door a little, then finally knocked. It was loud enough for Kate to be able to hear it, wherever she may be inside of her loft.
Oh god, that sucked.
Kate jumped. She was holding the bottle in hand, only had poured a little into the empty glass, but didn't finish the job. She rested the bottle back down while staring at the door. Wondering who the hell it could have been. Lanie could be making a surprise visit, being the true friend she is. Hell, her father could be visiting, but Kate doubted that her father would come over so late.
Castle?
It could be.
She could wait for him to knock again, and leave him thinking she wasn't home. Or she could just get her ass up over to the door and answer it. Kate was too stunned to even move.
Castle didn't hear any footsteps nor any kind of noise. She couldn't be home, but it wouldn't hurt to knock once more. Maybe she didn't hear his knock, maybe she's in the shower, or maybe she's not even home. He raised his fist to aggressively knock on her door again.
He hoped she would be home. Hell, it took him a long time to gather up the fucking courage to do it.
Kate almost jumped at the second knock, she wasn't expecting that one. Fuck, Kate. Just get up and open it. She let out a small groan, it honestly could be anybody else. Kate got up, hurried over to the door in a sprint, and opened the door wide. Part of her wasn't expecting it would be Castle, but another part of her knew it would be him.
For a few seconds, Kate watched Castle with his arms down by his sides, he was giving her a blank look. Nothing to say, not even an expression. She matched her appearance with his.
His body, without a second thought upon entering, forced himself into her loft. She was backing away from Castle to make room. He purposefully gripped on the wooden door to slam it shut behind him, not caring if the neighbours heard the door being slammed with a terribly loud noise.
Castle's hands shot towards her forearms, the grip he had on her was tight; the sudden flurry of movements caught her off guard putting her in a mild state of panic. She tried to maintain her balance only to realize that her feet were mere inches off the floor. He rushed her against the bookshelf and locked his lips with hers, he tasted the whiskey in her mouth, muffling the pained groan she made.
Her hands around his neck tugging him those last few inches until his lips captured hers in a kiss that held all the desire he felt raging through him. His tongue thrust into her mouth, plundering, demanding a response.
And she gave him one. One that stole the mere breath from his lungs. He growled into her mouth, sucking greedily at her tongue and lips until she clung to him, her fingers dug deeply into his skin, her body sliding down the bookcase. It was not comfortable at all, with all the shelves edges poking her back. At this point, she didn't give a fuck about the pain.
With a groan, he put his hands at her waist, holding her up as he pressed her more firmly against the bookcase. He bent his knees slightly and let his hardening crotch settle within the soft V of her thighs and she moaned, wiggling against him enticingly. God, she was driving him insane. Castle unconsciously thrust his pelvic against hers. Things weren't going to stop him now. She isn't going to stop him either, even if she did, he wasn't going to let her. This was it.
Their heads slanted towards the opposite directions, deepening the kiss with passionate and anger. A book fell and hit the ground as Castle made a strong advance upon her crotch. The entire bookcase rattled, they were making a mess of it. Kate's heart was racing, hearing the books landing, one by one.
Castle's fingers worked frantically to release the button of her jeans. Their lips still intact, but, with less passion. He was somewhat distracted by her jeans, trying to work it out. Castle was too excited to be perfecting in this play, his fingers were fidgeting around.
Kate felt his fingers tugged on her jeans, becoming aroused by the presence of his fingers near her crotch. She reached for his crotch, her hand grabbed the hardening cock in a death grip, he swore he'd felt her fingernails as if they were digging through the cloth.
He lets out a low groan by the touch of her hand on his bulge. He broke free from the kiss and her jeans, shrugged his shoulders to nudge the jacket off and eventually jerked it aside. His dress shirt was still on, but it wasn't a bothersome for Castle to deal with. He resumed his fingers on her jeans, finally pushing the button through the stitched eyelet. After a quick unzip, his thumbs sneaked beneath the waistband of her jeans, shoving it down to her ankles.
She inhaled a sharp gasp, it wasn't the first time he'd seen her without pants, but it still feels like the first time. Kate had no objection that this was going fast. She needed him now. She quickly hopped a foot out of jeans and kicked it off with her other foot.
He reached out to steady her, taking the crisp white blouse in a fist. She grabbed his shirt, and they stood there, a frozen tableau for the space of a heart beat.
Both shirts exploded in a flurry of buttons, little pieces of plastic flew through the air between them as both shirts shredded under the assault.
Castle heard the ripping of cloth, but he didn't know if it was his shirt or hers, and frankly he didn't care. She wore a white lace bra under that top, his right hand reached her cleavage and grasped the clasp from the front. There was no way he was going to fumble, he unhooked the bra and watched her breasts bounced.
Kate was nearly exposed with the shirt hanging open along with the bra and her soaked panties. Castle took a few seconds to examine her remarkable physique shape, her flushed magnificent formed breasts with pink-tipped. He wanted to draw his tongue over them, make them hard like he was hard and raw shudders from her body, but not now. She unfastened his belt and the fly of his jeans.
He reached behind her and pulled both shirt and bra down in back. She lets go as the sleeves trapped her arms behind her, he ripped them both off her body and threw it to the floor. Castle lowered his head and kissed her passionately. Lips, tongue, and teeth all caressing her mouth.
Kate couldn't match his pace in the kiss, she was using her freed hands to return them to his jeans, grabbing a handful of the material on his thighs to drag it down hard in one stroke, leaving it around his ankles. All's left was Castle standing in his navy silk boxers and opened shirt.
She tried to finish the job of undressing him, but Castle briskly grabbed her wrists to press them against the bookcase above her head, slamming Kate hard back into the bookcase with his pelvic, belatedly noticed that his pants had pooled around his ankles. Kate hardly groaned, between the kisses she lets out a solid word, "Fuck," feeling the peaked bulge grinding her. It was the first word Castle heard since he walked in this very room, but made no comment.
He grabbed the little white panties with both hands and tore them from her body, raising her off the floor before the fabric gave way. She was wet. God, she was wet. She raised her hips to his, her long legs around his waist. Her legs sculpted and muscularly toned, evidence of hours spent at a local gym and running in high heels all day at work.
When Castle lifted her off the floor, she firmly gripped the shelves behind her for proper support. After Castle held her steady with his hands cupped on her rosy ass cheeks, she threw her arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss.
His cock was aching beneath the boxers, he couldn't bear the tightness anymore. He pulled his boxers down as best he could without letting her free and positioned himself, slamming into her in a single motion, tearing into the wet hot pussy. The head breached her slit open, completely deep into her before she could cry out. She was hot, burning hot. He could feel it as her walls pulled his shaft into her.
Kate broke the kiss with her eyes opening wide, huffed a massive gasp into Castle's mouth. The kiss broke off, but their lips were barely intact, exchanging panting breaths. Her fingers dug into the back of his neck, snaking her other hand to grip on the book shelf beside her head. Her body was trembling, she needed a strong support.
Castle emitted a shallow moan, he stayed in her, relishing the feel of it, the tightness and heat, the wetness sucking at his cock which started to throb in her. Leaning over to hold her place as he pulled out again, hearing the moist slurp as he slipped nearly free of her.
She bucked her hips against his to follow his motion, she was hungry for it, and she needed him.
Castle obliged, slamming her hard enough to friction her nipples against his bare skin. He took her again, rough, fast, and hard. Pulling back again to the barbed head of the cock and thrusting back.
Sensation of her moist walls grasping his throbbing shaft was incredible, and he needed it. He bent a bit to drive up into her, the bottom of his cock dragged across her front walls, slamming through the mottled skin of the g-spot and she tensed for a moment before giving herself over to the attack. Her moans were getting louder at some point, but with her irregular breathing, it disturbed her voice to silent several times.
The solid oak bookcase began to protest under their combined efforts, behind of the case banged the wall constantly, and the books toppled over to the floor. His cock tore into her wet velvet opening as he grunted and growled. She gasped, gripping both hands to his lower back, demanding more. Kate's lashes opened halfway, she caught Castle's stare now and then, her eyebrows furrowing deeply with wide divided lips.
He stared back as he pumped harder, throwing his hips against hers, driving through her folds, pulling them out as he retreated, plunging them inside of her. She reached out to his upper back, raking her fingernails over his shirt. If it wasn't for the shirt, she would have left minor gouges in his skin. He felt her convulse around his cock, and she buried her head in his shoulders and cried out.
Castle's back arched into Kate's body against the bookcase and fired into her deeply. The hot ropy cum coated the burning friction of their union. He stayed in her as the cock spasm and twitched, releasing what's left into her. His lower abdomen backed a little to slide himself out. His arms weakened from the aftershocks, nearing to the point of dropping Kate but fought back with his pelvic advanced against hers again, holding her up with the bookcase.
Kate bit her bottom lip, her head rested on his left shoulder, she turned her head slightly to kiss his neck with raspy breathing. Her right hand came around to cup his right side of the face. She jerked her head away from his neck, turning his head a little to face her.
They hadn't moved much at all. Her eyes met his piercing gaze, chest heaving with heavy pants through her swollen lips, and nostrils flaring. Her thumb caressed his cheekbone, kissing his lips tenderly. She snaked her hand down to stroke his chest with a light touch. Kate chortled out a brief laugh of satisfaction against his lips when she tried to place another soft kiss.
Amazing.
Struck mute, Kate returned Castle's quiet contemplation. They didn't need to say anything, the looks on their faces were just enough to know. They were in sync, and in love.
Castle's lips quirked when Kate laughed a bit. He realized this was no place to hang around, not when his legs were slightly trembling. His hands on Kate's hadn't moved one bit, he stepped out of his clothing pooled around his ankles, walking over to the couch. Lying Kate back down on the couch. Castle tugged his shirt off, it was the last piece of clothing that needed to be removed. He tossed it aside, climbing on the couch with his body hovering over her sweating slick naked body.
Kate lied back underneath Castle, brushing her hands down his cheek while staring upon in his eyes.
He stroked the damp strands of hair at her temples. His fingers tangled in her hair, brushing it back gently. He studied her, his blue eyes revealing none of his thoughts. He lowered his hand to her mouth, stroking the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip.
Kate couldn't control the tremor that trembled through her body at the small caress. She cupped his face to bring his head down, lips meeting with his for another delicate kiss. Removing her hands from his face to put them on his back. There were no more words then, just sensation, the texture of her tongue, her nails tracing lightly up his back.
Castle carefully lowered his body for a complete skin contact, brushing the back of his hand gingerly over her shoulder as he returned the kiss. He broke it gently, he let his mouth trail down her neck, nuzzling gently, making her tilt her head back against the couch cushion. Nibbling, biting a little, but careful not to make a mark on her neck. His teeth sending shivers down her arms, she held his back in her hands and pulling him closer with a soft moan.
He made his way further down to her chest, burying his face in between her bosoms, her scar lie within from the moment she was shot. She was paranoid about it when he first noticed it at the retreat, but she remembered what he said. It defines the person she is today. Castle carefully ran his tongue over the scar once before placing a gentle kiss on top of it.
Kate nibbled her bottom lip, her chest heaving in a pace. It was somewhat difficult for her to allow Castle to go there. She snaked her hands to his neck, her thumbs on his jawline, gently forcing his head to return face to face with Kate. The padding of her thumbs caressed his jaw, resuming the eye contact with his and softly whispering, gYou drive me crazy.h
He lets out a small chuckle, "And here I thought you were going to say I love you."
Kate matched his laugh, "That too, Castle. I love you, and you're even more handsome up close."
Don't stroke my ego, Detective." He grinned, closing the gap to brush his lips against hers back and forth. "I love you too." The sound vibrated off his lips on hers, teasing her lips as he licked her lower lip.
She sighed, opening her mouth, silently welcoming the invasion of his skilled tongue as it delved inside to explore. Her knees grew weak, and she lifted her hands to run them through his slightly damp hair, holding on tight.
He marvelled at her softness, her warmth. His hand ran up her arm, her skin softer than anything he'd ever felt, across her shoulders, sliding it underneath her back, pulling her closer and feeling her breasts pressed into his chest. She moaned against his lips, and opened her mouth wider, kissing him deeply, lost into the kiss.
