Lessons Unexpected—Chapter 11
A/N: So the next JPOV outtake shall be Chapter 10 which won with an overwhelming margin. I'm proud of you lot, you more than doubled the number of votes from last time! And they say shameless badgering doesn't work...pah! women have been doing it for centuries...I mean, that was sexist.
Anyway, all you Edward lovers out there? Please to be not killing me, kay? Kay.
C'mon let me hold you, touch you, feel you, always. Kiss you, taste you, all night, always – "Always" by Blink 182
"So, how much of this is accurate?"
Bella and Jasper were sitting on the couch watching a movie because Jasper had, not surprisingly, shot down the idea of a girlie evening. They decided on Sherlock Holmes, a movie that Bella was pretty sure she had not yet seen. She was completely entertained by the movie and Jasper seemed to be entertained by her. They were sitting close to each other on the large couch with Bella's head resting against Jasper's shoulder. Every once in a while she would look up at him and throw another question his way.
"Which part?" he asked, looking down at her with a half-grin.
She pointed to the screen, "The whole setting, the props, the backdrop. Is that what London really looked like?"
"Pretty much, yeah," Jasper shrugged but only with one shoulder, he didn't seem to want to disturb Bella's position against him.
"Huh," she said and put her head back down on his shoulder. "I imagine that smelled bad."
Jasper chuckled quietly and Bella could feel the movement of his body against her cheek, "You've no idea darlin'. It smelled horrible to the humans but it was a hundred times worse for us vampires."
Bella wrinkled her nose. Every scent was magnified for her now, along with practically everything else of course, but while everything else was pretty cool and a definite improvement Bella had discovered that the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' could be applied to ones nose as well. She imagined that she would have enjoyed being able to walk by a day old pile of bear shit and not smell it unless she got down on her hands and knees and actually sniffed it. Now, she wasn't so lucky.
"We'll travel once you're able to stand being cooped up in a flying tin can and you'll get to cut your teeth on all the exotic scents and sights the world has to offer. The tropics are an interesting place to visit, very hit or miss," Jasper said, his nose wrinkling as if in remembrance. Bella chuckled and turned her gaze back on to the screen. She hadn't been watching long when Jasper shifted. She sat up, thinking that he wanted her to move her weight off of him but he surprised her by wrapping his arm around her shoulders and bringing her back into the nook of his arm.
Bella settled against him and sighed in comfort. She hadn't been lying to Jasper when she said that she thought that vampires needed touch too, she hadn't realized how much she missed it until she and Jasper were suddenly touching each other. It was nice to have someone to cuddle up next to, even if she didn't need the warmth. Bella watched as the characters on the film bantered and joked, she smiled at some of their comments and laughed outright at some of Sherlock's outrageous mannerisms. Near the end of the movie Bella thought to ask Jasper about the machine that the villain had built and whether or not that was historically accurate. She turned her gaze from the movie to Jasper and the question died on her lips as she realized that Jasper was, in fact, staring at her.
"What's with you?" she asked him, quirking an eyebrow.
"Nothin'," he said, his eyes darting away quickly, "Nosey much?"
Bella rolled her eyes, "Says the man caught staring. C'mon," she poked his side, "out with it, cowboy."
Jasper pursed his lips and looked at her askance, "Why would you call me that?"
"Because I'd bet my last Twinkie that you were a cowboy at one point," Bella said, "Stop trying to deflect."
"I'm not!" Jasper said, looking guilty as all hell, "And Twinkies? Really?"
"Shut up, I loved Twinkies when I was six."
"Do you know how much shit is in a Twinkie?"
"Deflecting!"
Jasper huffed and Bella would swear that, if he could, he'd have been blushing. He grimaced and looked down at his lap, almost as if he were shy.
"I was just admiring the scenery."
Bella arched one eyebrow in disbelief. She stared at him for a good minute before she opened her mouth again.
"Have you been reading those horrible romance novels I found in the back room?"
Jasper snorted, "Don't ever say that in front of Rosalie, she loves those things."
Bella thought about this, "Somehow, that doesn't surprise me."
Jasper smiled, a genuine smile that she had only seen on his face a few times before, and she felt her gut clench in response. "Besides, it's not like you need to give her another reason to hate your existence."
Bella punched him on the arm, hard.
"Ow! Woman, may I remind you that you are temporarily stronger than me?" Jasper growled, clutching his arm.
"I remember," Bella glared at him, "and you deserved it."
Jasper scoffed and rubbed his arm though Bella seriously doubted that it still hurt.
"So what's so great about the scenery?" Bella asked.
"Fishing for compliments, are ya?" Jasper countered.
"More like the method to your madness."
"What?" Jasper looked at her as if she were the mad one.
"I'm trying to figure you out," Bella said, turning her body toward him and crossing her arms over her chest, "but you keep doing things that I don't understand."
Jasper sighed and, with a weary look, he mumbled, "I was admiring your eyes. The amber colour suits you."
"Really?" Bella asked.
Jasper nodded but said nothing else. Bella could practically feel the embarrassment radiating off of him. She didn't need to be an empath because the tension of his body bespoke his emotions quite clearly. Feeling sorry for him, she decided to change the topic.
Shrugging lightly, she said, "Speaking of which, I would like to hunt, would you mind coming with when the movie is over?"
Jasper nodded and they settled back into watching the movie, Bella completely forgetting about the question she was going to ask. The more prevalent question in her mind now being, what on earth is up with Jasper? Why was he staring at her like that? And the whole 'admiring the scenery' thing...was he...flirting?
Bella tried to focus on the movie but found that she couldn't manage it. Jasper must have sensed her confusion because he continued to glance at her out of the corner of his eye but she remained still and watched the screen. When the credits began to roll, she patted Jasper's knee and stood up. As it was with everything that she did now, Bella went from sitting to standing up ramrod straight within seconds. Jasper chuckled from the couch and she looked down at him curiously.
"We're going to have to work on that," he said, standing up in a slow and leisurely way.
"Work on what?" Bella asked.
"How you move and act. If you ever want to blend in with humans, you need to stop moving so fast that they won't be able to see you. If you suddenly—" Jasper moved quickly, with vampire grace, so that he was standing behind her, his lips at her ear and his breath on her neck "—appear on the other side of the room in the blink of an eye, they're going to notice something's up."
Bella rolled her eyes, "I can do that." She stepped away from Jasper and his disconcertingly close mouth.
"Oh, really? Because you're still moving too fast," he said as she turned to look at him. He placed his hands on his hips and raised an eyebrow at her, silently challenging her. She narrowed her eyes at him and promptly turned on her heel, ready to walk away at a perfectly normal human pace.
The only problem was that her body didn't seem to remember that pace.
She took one deliberately slow step but knew instantly that she was far too slow because she heard Jasper snort behind her. She gritted her teeth and tried another few steps, slightly faster, but Jasper's sounds of mirth continued. She walked all the way over to the front door before she turned around and glared at him.
"Fine!" she said, crossing her arms over her chest and trying not to grin at the contagious smile on his face, "Show me, oh wise one!"
Trying, with great effort, to offer a straight face Jasper hooked his thumbs in his belt loops and ambled her way at a decidedly human pace. Bella watched, more interested than she'd care to admit, as his hips swayed slightly with his movement. His long legs, encased in his usual worn in jeans emphasized the muscle in his thighs and Bella found her eyes wandering. From his legs and hips, her gaze raked up over his stomach and torso, wrapped in a grey button down shirt that clung in all the right places and the rolled up sleeves that exposed his forearms; Bella found herself swallowing reflexively.
Swiftly, she turned away from him, opened the door and sauntered down the stairs in a pace that almost matched his. She looked over her shoulder and tried to form a natural smile, one that didn't betray her confusion.
"I think I've got it."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Four days later and Bella found herself sitting in a tree, listening to her iPod. She wasn't sure if it was because of Alice's vision or not but she had been reluctant to go to her usual perch on the roof and had instead grabbed her iPod, heading for the woods. With her back against the trunk and her legs dangling on each side of the thick branch she was perched on, she tried to make sense of her mind.
Or rather, her body.
Her mind was functioning perfectly fine and it was screaming at her that she was a stupid, stupid woman and that she needed to remember how she ended up in this tree, sans a heartbeat.
She should still be angry at Jasper, not finding herself attracted to him. Sure, she was trying to be nice, get along and all that, she even wanted to comfort him sometimes, but why on earth was she finding that more often than not, her eyes lingered on his body? Why was it that when he smiled at her, she couldn't help but smile back? Why did his laughter make her feel happy? Why did she feel so comforted when he touched her? Why did he make her feel like she was finally home?
Bella banged her head against the trunk and let out a growl of frustration. By all rights, she should still be silently seething, furious with the man who took her life from her.
So why wasn't she?
Sure, she wasn't happy about the way things had happened and if she had the chance, she would go back to being human in a blink of an eye but the reality was that she couldn't go back. She would never be human again and, as hard as that was to swallow, it was her reality. All she could do was accept it. But accepting didn't mean that she had to enjoy it, did it?
So, what was she to do? Wallow in misery over circumstances she can't control? Bella scrunched up her nose. That idea didn't sit well with her. She had had enough of wallowing in misery over uncontrollable circumstances for one lifetime. Why waste eternity like that?
But her acceptance and even her tentative enjoyment of her new lifestyle didn't mean she had to forgive the one who forced her into it. Yet the harder she tried, the less she felt she could really blame Jasper. She had goaded him time and time again, with no thought or concern for his own pain, only her own. Of course, like she had said to him, he shouldn't have lost his control and attacked her but it wasn't like Jasper was known for his control. How could she fault him for something that was, in essence, part of his nature? The fact that he didn't kill her that first night went against everything in him.
And now, she was just like him.
What would she have done, had she been in his situation?
Bella opened her eyes and looked up at the canopy of green leaves. The breeze was light and it shifted the foliage gently, letting the odd beam of sunlight streak through. If she were being honest with herself, she probably would have attacked too. Of course, she was a newborn and her emotions were still volatile which meant that she had even less control than Jas—
Bella gasped sat up straight.
She was a newborn and her emotions were volatile!
The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. She had been experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute she could be happy, the next depressed, a few minutes later she was a happy lark again but the simplest thing could send her into a rage. She had demolished a package of chocolates the other day after she ripped all of the wrappers yet again. That has to be it, Bella thought to herself, my attraction is just a consequence of being a newborn.
Grinning to herself, Bella murmured, "Eureka!"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Bella was walking back to the house, practicing her human pace, when she saw Jasper sitting on the back porch railing, his legs dangling over one side.
"Good time?" he asked, casually.
"Yeah," Bella smiled and, feeling confident in her new revelation, didn't question the fluttering in her stomach when Jasper smiled back.
She walked up the steps and hauled her body onto the railing to sit next to him. When she had settled, she spotted a large covering that she had never noticed before.
"What's that?" she asked, pointing at it.
"Oh, it's the Jacuzzi," he said.
"There's a Jacuzzi here and you never told me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
Jasper looked puzzled, "Was I supposed to?"
Bella scoffed, "Of course! How do you turn it on?"
She hopped down and crouched by the cover. Jasper joined her and lifted it up a bit, exposing a keypad and display screen. She watched as he pressed buttons and the tub came to life. Lights turned on and she heard the motor begin to hum.
"It will take hours to warm up, but now it's on," he said, standing back up.
"Thank you," she smiled at him and turned to go into the house. He followed her in, both of them kicking their shoes off. Bella headed for the living room and flopped onto the couch, watching Jasper as he came in and sat down on the arm rest near her feet.
"Movie?" he asked
"Bleh," Bella made a face.
"Yeah, I know. Being a newborn means a lot of time cooped up," he grimaced in sympathy.
"Actually," Bella said, poking his thigh with her toe, "I had a question for you."
"Shoot."
"What do we do if Alice has a vision of the two of us together?"
Bella watched Jasper's face carefully and she saw that his lips tightened ever so slightly at the mention of her name.
"She won't," he said shortly, leaning forward and picking up the remote control for the TV.
"How do you know that?" Bella asked.
"Because she doesn't watch my future anymore," Jasper said, jabbing at the remote control's buttons. "Emmett told me so, a long time ago. She blocks my future."
Bella said nothing but she had her doubts. Had Alice not been taken by surprise with a vision of Bella as a vampire? Granted, it didn't sound like Alice had blocked Bella's future, but it had certainly wormed its way through to her. What if that happened with Jasper? What if she wasn't looking for a vision of him, but one forced itself on her?
"It won't happen, Bella," Jasper said, not looking at her. Clearly, he had felt her doubt.
She nodded and turned to her side, facing the TV. She tried to banish her remaining doubts as she settled in to watch some mindless entertainment.
"I trust you, Jasper."
And despite all the reasons why she shouldn't, she really did.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I wonder if they've found anything yet?" Bella mused out loud. She wasn't necessarily talking to Jasper, though she was very, very aware that he was there.
"I doubt it. If they had found anything that indicated me, they'd call and ask me," Jasper said.
Bella nodded and tipped her head back to watch the inky black night and the stars above them. It was nearly four o'clock in the morning but that was no longer mattered to Bella. The Jacuzzi had reached its peak warmth and Bella had jumped in. She hadn't been deterred by the fact that she didn't technically have a bathing suit. Underwear and a bra is the same thing as a bikini. Right?
"But what I don't understand is why Edward is going with them," Bella said. She relaxed her body further into the contours of the seat. Sitting in the hot, bubbling water was a completely different experience from the one she remembered as a human. Then, she had gotten over heated easily and had to sit on the edge of the tub, she had become pruned quickly and the chemicals had irritated her skin. But now she was nothing but relaxed. The jets felt like gentle caresses on her body and, instead of bothering her, the hot water made her feel almost human again.
Bella waited for Jasper to say something but when the silence stretched out between them she dropped her gaze from the stars to his pale face. He was frowning at the frothing water between their bodies as he sat opposite her.
"Jasper?"
"Why do you care?" Jasper asked, still frowning at the water.
Bella shrugged, "I don't care per se..." she trailed off and thought about her answer for a moment, "I guess, I'm still trying to figure out how his brain works. I thought that, maybe as a vampire, I'd have some giant revelation, the light bulb would turn on my head, and I'd suddenly understand why he acts the way he does."
She fell silent, staring at her hands under the bubbling surface of the water. Quietly, almost to herself, she continued "But there was no light bulb and I'm just as confused now as I was then. I mean, why look for me after all these years? Especially when he has his mate to consider? I can't imagine that...that...she is very happy."
Bella swallowed and tried not to think about Edward with Tanya. She didn't even know what Tanya looked like, so she supposed it shouldn't be hard, but it was the idea of Edward being with someone else, the way she had always wanted him, that made her gut churn with resentment. He had always kept her at an arm's length and she had always suspected that it was because she was human, now she knew that was the truth. He had gone and found himself a mate, one who was already a vampire.
"Oh, Bella," Jasper murmured, finally looking at her again. He rose up from his seat across from her and moved through the waist deep water to sit next to her. Without hesitating he picked her up and gently cradled her in his lap.
"I'm so sorry, so very sorry. For everything. We never should have left you behind like that, but we really did think we were doing the right thing and Edward's..." Jasper paused and sighed, "He really thought he was doing the right thing too. My actions on the night of your birthday proved that it's not safe for humans to be around vampires, even vegetarian ones."
Bella, her head resting on his shoulder and her nose pressed against his neck, muttered, "I don't blame you Jasper. I never have...I know that I said some mean things but...I didn't really mean them"
Jasper made a noise of agreement and tilted his head so that his cheek was resting against her hair, "I know. Me too."
They were quiet for a little while and Bella couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of Jasper's hands running over her exposed skin. He had laughed at her when she had quickly stripped into her bra and underwear for their impromptu soak but he certainly wasn't laughing now. She closed her eyes as she felt his large palm gently brush against the base of her spine, slowly moving up and over the back of her bra to her shoulders.
"Finger tips," she murmured to his neck.
"Hmm?"
"Use your finger tips, feels nicer," she said.
She felt Jasper chuckle but he complied, running his finger tips up and down her back. The sensation made her flesh pebble and she was pleased to note that her body still had some of its old reactions. She felt herself relax further into Jasper's arms. The combined sensation of his embrace, the water, and his gentle caresses had Bella feeling that, despite all logic, she just might fall asleep.
She was contemplating the possibility of it when she heard Jasper speak, his voice so soft that only another vampire would have heard him.
"I'm sorry for what I've done to you," he whispered. "I regret it every day."
Bella's eyes flew open though she didn't move a muscle.
"I let myself lose control because I was furious...with you. I blamed you for what happened that day, but that wasn't all. I was...I... I knew you were in Alaska, I had seen you there before. I was standing outside that bar you worked in because I wanted to see you again. I hated you every time you laughed because I...couldn't. You had moved on from your pain and I couldn't."
Slowly, Bella lifted her head and stared at Jasper's black eyes. Belatedly, she realized that he hadn't fed in a few weeks. The darkness of his eyes made his pale skin stand out all the more, especially against his dyed hair. She lifted one hand out of the water and brushed the wild strands out of his face.
"I...I'm not as put together as you seem to think, Jasper," Bella said, "Hell, I'm not even as put together as I thought I was. I thought I had control of my life, finally, but the day you waltzed back into it I realized that I'd only been deluding myself."
"What do you mean?" Jasper asked, his voice soft.
Bella gave him a small, rueful smile, "Your presence made me remember everything. All the emotions I'd been hiding from myself, all the anger and the pain that I thought I had dealt with." She sighed, "I think that's why I goaded you so much. As much as you hated me for being happy, I hated you for reminding me that I really wasn't."
Bella shook her head, "Man, I'm a piece of work, aren't I?"
Jasper smiled softly, "I think we both are."
Bella was about to make a joke about 'birds of a feather', when she saw Jasper's eyes dart down to her mouth. Her words died in her throat and she froze, waiting.
Hesitantly, Jasper reached up and cupped her cheek with his warm hand. His thumb brushed her cheekbone and, almost involuntarily, her eyes slid shut. Bella wasn't sure who leaned forward first, and she couldn't be positive that it wasn't her, but the next thing she knew, they were kissing. Jasper's lips were soft, warm, and tasted similar to the way he smelled, sort of spicy. Gently, he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and as his teeth grazed it, Bella felt a thrill of pleasure dart through her body. Jasper began to pull back from their kiss but as soon as Bella realized what he was doing, she reached forward and grabbed his face with her wet hands. Pulling him closer, she opened her mouth and ran her tongue over his bottom lip. Jasper responded instantly, his own tongue darting out to taste her. Belatedly, Bella realized that she was breathing hard but she couldn't bring herself to care. She grabbed Jasper's lip between her teeth and gently pulled on it, making him moan softly. She felt his hands caressing her, gripping her thigh and waist hard, and she briefly entertained the idea of shifting so she could straddle him. Unfortunately, just as she was about to put said idea into motion, Jasper pulled away completely.
Breathing just as hard as she was, Jasper rested his forehead against hers; still caressing her thighs, hips and stomach, though not as hard as before. Neither of them said a word, instead, they listened to the sound of the other's breathing as it returned to its normal pace. Jasper tightened his arms around Bella's waist and in turn, she slipped her fingers into Jasper's curls, wanting to feel them in her hands.
"Why did you dye your hair?" Bella asked, pulling back slightly. She had wanted to ask for a long time.
"Just needed a change," his breath ghosted over her wet lips and she licked them, tasting him.
"Didn't you know that blondes have more fun?" she asked him, teasingly.
He rolled his eyes, "I take it you prefer the blonde?"
"I do, but it's your hair," she said.
"It's okay, it's starting to flake anyway. It never lasts for very long," Jasper said. He smiled at her and leaned in for another kiss and Bella, despite the little voice in the back of her head that was screaming what are you doing? met him halfway.
"Can you forgive me for what I've done to you?" Jasper asked, eventually, pulling back from their soft kisses and searching her face for answers.
"I already have."
A/N: *twiddles thumbs and coughs nervously*
