Disclaimer: This entire magical world belongs solely to J.K Rowling. I own nothing.
Dear FanFiction Writers,
My throat hurts. It must be all that shouting finally catching up with me. I'll have to pop down to the apothecary later and get a potion to sort it out.
I was going to shout at you for a bit - other than cooking, shouting is what I do best - but I don't want to sound like a broken wireless. Though, if my wireless did malfunction and started playing 'A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love' on repeat I wouldn't mind.
Anyway, my point is my children have each already asked you, warned you and even threatened you countless times, but you still continue to write about us. Please read the following points and you would do well to remember them.
1.) I love Arthur. I will only ever be in love with him.
2.) I never dated Lucius Malfoy while I was at Hogwarts.
3.) Nor am I infatuated with Gilderoy Lockhart.
4.) I am not an overbearing, smothering mother. There is a thing called caring for your children. Or would you rather I act like Harry's aunt and uncle?
5.) None of my children have loose morals, nor have they ever cheated on their respective partners. True love may be hard for some of you to comprehend but when you find the one, well, you wouldn't trade them for the world.
6.) My parents never disowned me. Honestly. Nor were they allied with the Death Eaters.
7.) The next time you decide to insult my family, just remember that in my family we have: a curse breaker, a dragon tamer, a Ministry official, pranksters, a Quidditch player/journalist and several Aurors. Do not mess with the Weasleys.
Sincerely, Molly Weasley.
P.S. Nobody makes a better Christmas cake than me!
Nobody.
*brandishes wand*
