The Monsters in Your Head

The Wolf stopped moving suddenly. She stood stock still and let John approach her. He hesitated for a moment at her strange decision, but knocked her to the ground and knelt above her, pressing her into the dirt. The Wolf didn't even attempt to fight him, although she could have thrown him off of her easily. She was certainly the stronger of the two. He placed a hand threateningly around her throat, but the Wolf needed to get through to him, not make the situation worse by attacking him.

"John, it's me," she said quietly. "You know me. You saved me. Please, think about this. This isn't you, and I know you're in there, trying to fight back." John shook his head as if annoyed by an insect. "Just fight a little harder, John, please. It's me," she reiterated. "It's me." John tightened his grip on her, just beginning to cut off her air. "All the things we've done – medieval Japan, riding plasma storms in the Horsehead Nebula, bitchy trampolines – all of it. That's who we are. That's who you are," she said, desperately trying to get him to recognize her. "Remember that? I am not your enemy." John's eyes narrowed, confused, as he shook his head again. He let out a groan. "That's it, John," she encouraged. "Come back to me."

John's whole body shuddered before he threw himself off of the Wolf. He fell hard to the ground and lay there, panting. The Wolf pulled herself up and crawled over to him, pushing a sweaty strand of hair out of his eyes. "Wolf?" he asked, bewildered and still breathing as though he'd run a marathon.

"Hey, you," she whispered back. "You gave me quite the scare."

"Sorry," he apologized, but then stilled. "What happened?" he asked quizzically, looking around him. "How – how did I get over here?" He gripped his head with a moan of pain. "And why does my head feel like it's been filled with hot coals?"

The Wolf chuckled. "Oh, you know, just your average day. Fall under the mind control spell of a haemovore, threaten to kill your best friend. All normal."

John stared at her. "I tried to kill you?" he asked in disbelief. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Should I be worried? What did I do?" His questions came out in a rush, his words tripping over themselves as they all tried to get said at once.

The Wolf held up her hands to stem the tide. "Easy, Johnny. I'm just fine," she assured him. He let out a sigh of relief. "You didn't actually do anything besides a very good impression of a zombie. You snapped out of her hold too quickly for her to really command you to attack." She didn't tell John that he'd actually had a hand around her throat. He didn't need to know that. He already looked guilt ridden enough.

Despite her reassurances, John still looked uneasy and shaken. The Wolf stood. "Up you get," she ordered, business-like. "There was a commotion out front while you were out of it. We're going to go check it out." If he was concentrating on something else, John would stop worrying about her.

"There was a battle going on, if I remember right," John pointed out, obeying.

"True, but this was different. It sounded like something happened to Bea."

"You don't think she was killed, do you?" John asked, worried, but now for a better reason.

The Wolf shrugged. "If she was, that would change Beowulf's story quite a bit, wouldn't you say?" she tested.

"You always say time can be rewritten," John reminded her.

The Wolf grinned. "Good to know you pay some attention to my lectures, Johnny boy," she said, pleased and relieved that John seemed to have put aside some of his guilt to focus on the problem at hand. "You're right. Time can be rewritten, but I don't think this is one of those times. Too much history depends on the Viking culture. Bea has to kill Grendel."

"So we need to make sure literature is upheld, eh?" John asked.

"Seems that way. You know Tolkien was inspired by the story of Beowulf?" she told him.

John groaned. "Tolkien again?" He paused and thought about it. "Although, now that you mention it, those haemovores have more than a passing resemblance to Tolkien's orcs."

They rounded the front of the longhouse as they spoke, only to be met with carnage. The house's warriors were milling about aimlessly, some helping the wounded while others seemed dazed. John ran to assist with the injured once more, while the Wolf quickly searched out Bea's second in command – a grizzled soldier named Toke. "How many dead?" she asked tersely.

Toke sighed, at a loss and bleeding from a deep gash on his shoulder. "Six dead, seven wounded, two of those unlikely to survive," he recited wearily. "The worst is that Mistress Bea was taken."

"Taken?" the Wolf asked quickly. "Not killed?"

"No," Toke confirmed. "That beast Grendel mauled one of my men, and just stood over his body while Bea charged at him. And then he merely – stared at her. Mistress Bea stopped running and looked into his eyes. Then they both turned and walked away. It was as though she was in a trance. Can that be, Mistress Wolf?" he asked desperately.

The Wolf nodded. "Unfortunately, yes. The female tried to take John with her." The Wolf shuddered. "I was able to distract her away from him so that he could escape her trance," she lied, mindful of what the Vikings would consider witchcraft.

"So they can be stopped," Toke mused, a glint in his eyes. He turned to her. "You, Mistress Wolf, will lead us into battle against the Night-seekers. We will end this once and for all."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait," the Wolf tried to hold the warrior up. "I told Bea earlier, I am not fighting. I provided information. That's all I do. I am not a warrior," she protested.

"They targeted your man," Toke reasoned. "Do you wish them to do so again? Both of you will come. We leave in an hour."

"He's – he's not – " the Wolf sighed, giving it up. "Now?" she finally asked.

"They will not be expecting an attack so soon. You and your spirit walker prepare. We leave in one hour." Toke walked away to gather his men.


"I'm not going," John said suddenly from behind the Wolf.

She turned around, hands on her hips. "I'm not sure you have a choice," she replied dryly, "but why not?"

"You're not telling me something about what happened. That haemovore took control of my brain, and I tried to kill you. You're not saying something, which makes me think that I got close to succeeding. If she took my mind once, she can do it again. I won't place you in danger," John told her firmly, his mind made up.

The Wolf rolled her eyes. "I was never in danger, John. I could have thrown you off at anytime. I let you get close to me so I could snap you out of it. And it worked."

John crossed his arms. "It could happen again, at any moment, and maybe you'd be too distracted to 'snap me out of it' next time," he argued. "I can't go."

The Wolf sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "Do you think I want to go?" she asked wearily. "I told you about the War, about what happened. I told you I was the only survivor." John nodded, remembering their conversation after the carnage of Platform One the first time they had met Cassandra. "What I didn't tell you was what my High Council tried to make me do." The Wolf began pacing back and forth, uneasy with the direction the conversation was going. "I'd spent years running from the war. Decades, even. I refused to be a soldier, to take part in a war I saw that the Time Lords had partially brought on themselves. But it was spreading throughout the universe, planets were being destroyed, races were being wiped out, the whole universe was at risk. I went back to my planet because a friend begged me to." The Wolf paused.

"What happened?" John asked her gently. He didn't want to push her into clamming up again.

She stared at the ground. "I was abducted by the High Council. They tried to make me use a weapon that would destroy the universe entirely. They would survive because they were 'higher beings'," the Wolf scoffed. "As if a higher being would try to end all life in the universe. I refused – ran away. And now I'm the only one left." The Wolf looked over at John and saw the sympathy in his eyes. She wanted to tell him the whole truth: how she was the weapon that could destroy the universe. But she couldn't do it. She would terrify him, make him want to leave.

For his own sake, she knew she should take John home and leave him, but she couldn't yet. She was too selfish. "So I travel the world," she continued, "and conflict seems to find me. And most of the time, I can handle it. An egotistical maniac needs stopping, I can do that. A piece of technology is causing a natural disaster, I'm there. But this..." She looked around at the warriors preparing for battle. "This is something I actively try to avoid. So if I can pretend to be a soldier and a master of battle strategy for one afternoon in order to ensure the world keeps on spinning, then you can walk there." The Wolf hesitated for a moment before admitting one last thing. "Because I need you with me," she said softly.

John stood frozen for a minute, stunned at what the Wolf had said. For the first time since she'd regenerated, the Wolf had sounded like her old self – the woman he'd met in a department store. And John found that he didn't like the reminder. She'd come so far since then. She hadn't come to terms with the loss of her people, most likely never would, but John finally saw how difficult this trip had been for the Wolf. She'd hidden behind a mask of bravado, but she was vulnerable.

He looked her over, noticing that she was fidgeting. She was toeing at the ground, her arms crossed defensively and she wasn't making eye contact. He closed the distance between them and laced their fingers together, forcing her arms down. The Wolf looked up at him in surprise, which then shifted to gratitude. "You always do what needs to be done," he reminded her. "Sometimes those decisions are difficult, and maybe even sometimes you're wrong." She flinched, but John just tightened her grip. "But what matters is that you try," he said. "I've never seen anyone try as hard as you do to do the right thing. And that's what counts." He took a deep breath. "So if I can help at all by being there, then there I'll be. Just try to keep the lady vampire from making me kill you?" he joked, trying to lighten the heavy mood.

The Wolf grinned, squeezing his hand before releasing him and bouncing away, back to her normal self. John let it go, realizing that she needed some distance from what she'd admitted to him. "By all means, then," she announced, smiling. "Let's go slay some vampires."


While they were following the troop of soldiers to the cave the haemovores were currently inhabiting, the Wolf gave John a crash course on throwing off mind control. "Now, you've already done it once, you should be able to again," she told him.

"Should?" John asked worriedly.

"Weell," the Wolf drew it out, shrugging, "I don't know for sure. But if you feel her trying to invade your mind again, and you will feel it, imagine a door in your mind and slam it shut," she coached. "Stuff all of your thoughts behind that door and lock it from the inside."

"How does one actually do that?" John asked, incredulous.

"It's an instinct. Protective. Think of it like meditation," she tried to explain. "But instead of trying to keep any thoughts from reaching your brain, keep your thoughts away from her."

"Quiet," Toke ordered. "We're almost there."

"Just try," the Wolf whispered. "I'll keep you from getting into trouble if anything happens," she promised.

"Okay," John muttered, not convinced. "Not feeling very reassured, here."

"There!" Toke hissed, pointing out Bea. She was standing outside of a cave with a blank stare. The haemovores were nowhere to be seen. "Wait," he commanded when a couple soldiers rushed forward. "She could be bait. That may be why they took her."

"Undoubtedly," the Wolf muttered.

"How should we do this, Mistress Wolf?" Toke asked.

The Wolf shot a look at the warrior, alarmed. "Erm, well, tally-ho, and all that," she stuttered. She caught the amused glance John gave her. "Not good?" she whispered.

"Bit not good," he confirmed just as softly.

The Wolf straightened up. "Yes, well," she said in a louder voice, "proceed. With caution. Stake through the heart, remember." She made a stabbing motion.

Toke nodded seriously. "You heard her, men. Onward!" He waved his troop forward, and they stalked quietly toward haemovores' cave.

"And perhaps avoid Bea until Grendel is sufficiently distracted?" the Wolf added as an afterthought.

"Yes, Wolf," Toke agreed.

"What do we do?" John asked as the men formed a shield wall as they approached the cave. Bea didn't pay the soldiers any mind.

"Wait here," the Wolf replied. "You're not going anywhere near that fight if I can help it."

"What if they need help?"

"You didn't even want to come in the first place, now you want to get in the middle of a battle?" the Wolf asked.

"Well, no," John realized. "I don't know how to fight. But I still feel like we should do something instead of stand here, useless."

The Wolf sighed. "Alright. Tell you what. If it looks like Bea is coming out of her trance, if the soldiers distract Grendel enough to break his hold on her, we can go grab her and bring her back over here, out of the way. Good?"

John nodded. "Okay. She's just going to want to join the fight though."

"Well, we'll deal with that when we get there." Suddenly, battle cries and the screams of both haemovores and men filled the air, making John flinch. "You sure you still want to be here?" the Wolf asked him.

"As if you'd leave while history hung in the balance," John countered.

The Wolf muttered something that John thought might have been, "To keep you safe, I might", but he was distracted by the sight of Bea shaking herself, looking out of sorts.

"Hey, I think she's snapping out of it," he got the Wolf's attention. "The Vikings must have distracted Grendel. Should we grab her?"

"Give it a second," the Wolf warned. When Bea started looking around, confused, the Wolf nodded. "Okay. Let's go." She and John stealthily ran to Bea's side.

"Wolf, spirit walker, I do not understand," Bea said, bewildered. "How did I get here? What happened?"

"Not the time," John said. "We have to get out of here." He grabbed her arm, but Bea pulled away.

"No, I hear battle. I will not leave my men to fight on their own!" she protested.

"Yes, yes – might I suggest we move the argument over to a more sheltered location?" the Wolf hinted sarcastically.

"No," Bea began again, "I will not – " her speech broke off abruptly.

"Bea?" the Wolf asked uncertainly.

Bea looked back at them, eyes dead once more. "Oh crap," John whispered. "Is that what I looked like?"

"Yeah," the Wolf murmured. "The Vikings must have lost ground against Grendel and the other haemovore. I suggest we back away slowly."

"We can't just leave her like this," John argued. "How did you break me out of it?"

"I talked at you until you recognized me," the Wolf answered heatedly, tugging on his arm to pull him away from Bea.

John conceded, allowing the Wolf to move him a little ways away from the newly possessed warrior woman. "I can see how that would work. You yammer on in this body enough for me to be able to pick out your voice anywhere."

"Hey!" the Wolf protested. "I will have you know that you ramble almost as much as I do." She resolutely turned to contemplate the situation by the cave again.

John grinned. "Yeah, but at least my sentences make se-" He cut off as the pain in his head came back. "Wolf," he groaned.

The Wolf looked over at him, then rushed to his side. "John!" she yelled, alarmed. "John, listen to me. You fought her off once, you can do it again. It's going to be fine, I promise. Remember, slam the door in her face. Lock it." She didn't see Bea begin to advance on her, her face blank.

"I – don't know – if –" he broke off again, moaning in pain. "You have to – get away..."

"No I'm not going anywhere, John. You're going to be okay. Lock her out of your thoughts, John," the Wolf repeated. "Concentrate!"

John shook his head and glanced up, an angry look appearing in his eyes. The Wolf hesitated. "Move," he growled. The Wolf stayed where she was. "Move!" he yelled again as he jerked towards her, causing the Wolf to leap to the side. Out of John's way, the Wolf stared as he swung out with his fist, landing a hard blow on Bea's temple, who had just been raising her arm to grab the Wolf in a stranglehold. Bea dropped like a rock.

John stood over her, breathing hard. "John?" the Wolf called warily.

After a moment, John looked over at her, and the Wolf sighed in relief when she saw worry in his eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked, still panting.

The Wolf nodded. "Thanks to you. What did you do?"

John grinned. "Cognitive recalibration. Saw it in a movie on the TARDIS," he explained. "I hit her really hard on the head. Ow," he groaned, shaking out his hand.

The Wolf just stared at him quizzically. "You come up with a lot of your plans based on media, you know that?" she asked, taking his hand and inspecting it to make sure he hadn't broken anything using Bea as his punching bag.

John shrugged. "They seem to work. Are you complaining?"

"Far from it. You're brilliant," the Wolf told him, smirking.

A moan came from on the ground as Bea stirred. "My head," Bea muttered, opening her eyes.

John held out his hand to help her up. "My fault," he apologized. "Only way I could think of to stop you."

As Bea got to her feet, she gazed at John in admiration. "You truly are a great spirit walker," she said in awe. "To cast out the Night-seekers from my mind. That is an amazing feat."

John blushed. "Yeah, well –"

"More importantly," the Wolf cut him off, "Grendel and his mother. Your soldiers didn't sound like they were winning in there earlier."

Bea sobered. "Yes. Grendel and his maker must be dealt with swiftly. Come. We shall go in and assist my men."

The Wolf looked like she wanted to protest, but held her tongue. As they followed Bea after each grabbing a wooden stave, John took her hand, squeezing it comfortingly. The Wolf shot him a grateful look. They carefully made their way back to the cavern the haemovores were holed up in. The sounds of battle had mostly died down, and when the trio entered, they saw why.

At least ten men were on the ground, either too injured to move or dead. The remaining six were standing at the back of the cave, eyes blank and watched by the female haemovore. Grendel was the first to see them, letting out a hideous scream. Bea launched herself at him, roaring in fury as she engaged him in battle.

"Are you okay, John?" the Wolf murmured quickly, keeping her eyes on the remaining haemovore, who was gazing back at them warily.

"Yeah," John whispered in reply. "I think she's stretched too thin." Thin or not, the female haemovore screeched and leapt forward a bit, teeth bared. "What do we do?" he hissed.

"Keep it occupied," the Wolf replied unhelpfully.

"What, like bait?" John asked incredulously.

"Weell," the Wolf said, "that wouldn't be the term I would use but –"

"Incoming!" John interrupted, pushing the Wolf to the side as he dove out of the way of the leaping haemovore. It howled at its near miss. Pulling out some long forgotten memories of a karate class he'd taken as a teenager, John kicked her square in the chest. The haemovore staggered backwards and fell over a corpse.

John heard a yell of triumph from Bea, and turned just as she took advantage of an opening and thrust her stake straight through Grendel's heart. The female screamed in fury as Grendel collapsed to the ground, twitching. The last remaining haemovore rushed Bea, engaging her in a rage.

John watched for a moment, worried for Bea, before movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He watched the Wolf pick up a wooden stave, hefting it as she observed the fight between Bea and the haemovore. He went over to her and wrapped his hand around the stake as well, startling the Wolf. "Together?" he asked quietly.

The Wolf nodded soberly, pain in her eyes. "Together," she agreed thickly. Just as they were about to rush the haemovore's exposed back, a hand on the Wolf's shoulder stopped them.

The pair turned around to see Toke, with the rest of the living warriors behind him. "If you will allow me," he said kindly. "You are not soldiers."

John watched the pain in the Wolf's eyes soften into heartrending gratitude. "Thank you," she whispered, barely audible. John nodded as well, releasing the stake to Toke. The warrior took it and ran at the haemovore with a battle cry as Bea grabbed its chin and neck to hold it still for Toke. He rammed the stake into the female's back, causing it to let out a final screech before it fell to the ground beside Grendel, finally dead.


John and the Wolf left the Vikings with their everlasting thanks. Bea had offered to let them stay in her house permanently, but the Wolf had insisted that they were just travelers, always on the move. The warrior woman had nodded seriously, parting ways with them after telling the pair that they were always welcome at her hearth.

The trek back to the TARDIS had seemed longer than before, but John figured that he had an excuse for being a little tired. Being possessed by aliens twice in the last two weeks probably wore a person out. He had collapsed in the captain's chair as soon they reached the ship, just watching the Wolf swirl them off into the Vortex once more.

"Can I ask you something?" he finally spoke up an hour later.

"Of course," the Wolf's answer filtered through the hole in the grating where she was dealing with what she called a 'wiring issue'.

"Is there something wrong with me?" he asked bluntly.

The Wolf's head popped up over the grate. "What?" she gaped. "What – what do you mean, 'wrong with you'?"

John gathered his thoughts carefully. "I mean, that a lot of weird things seem to have been going on with me lately, and it's starting to kind of freak me out." He had been considering this problem since New Earth, and the events with the haemovores had only solidified his worries. "It looks like – to me, at least – that I'm doing things that startle you. Things that, being a human, I shouldn't be able to do. You were surprised that I remembered everything that happened after Cassandra stole my body and you were surprised that I could read the book that helped me get you better. And then there's the whole thing at the Game Station, which I still don't quite remember but really wish I did, and don't even get me started on today. You took those tests a few weeks ago, but you never really told me what they said. I'm a doctor, I want to know what's going on with me if there is anything." He took a deep breath. The Wolf just watched him, silent. "It's just – am I okay, Wolf?" he asked.

The Wolf sighed and pulled herself back onto the floor of the TARDIS to walk over and sit beside him. "John, I swear that you are healthy. Yes, you have surprised me lately with your mental capabilities," she admitted, making John tense. "Humans aren't generally known for their telepathic abilities, but there are always exceptions to every rule. I've seen it before. But John," she said firmly, "if there really was something wrong, I would tell you. You're just better than the average human," she told him with a small smile, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it reassuringly. "You're okay," she said again.

John gave her a relieved grin. "That's all I needed to know."


A/N: Before I get people gasping over the Wolf lying to John once again: technically, she's not. She's evading the truth, yes, but not outright lying. The tests showed that John was healthy as can be, and theoretically there wasn't anything wrong with him. There's just a few impossible things going on in his head, which the Wolf has noticed, and John is beginning to. So no, rule number one is not that 'The Wolf always lies' (that's Moffat's thing and I refuse to partake in that nonsense). Rule number one is still 'Don't wander off' (that's Davies and I love it) :)

The upcoming interlude will cover some of the basic facts of Tooth and Claw, just some of the stuff I could change around. I didn't want to and couldn't change much up, as it's pretty damn good just the way it is. So it will just be some snapshots of the episode. Sorry for the long interlude, I just wanted to clear the air a bit.