aA/N: Does everyone hate me? LOL I am sorry, but you all had it seen coming sooner or later. And... well I would be lying if I'd say it will be over shortly, cause... this will take a few chapters to get fixed. But we are on our way to all the wonderful - and at points desperate - reviews, the alters and everything else. It really makes me as a writer want to never stop typing and coming up with ideas for them to get into and out of eventually.
Penelope made it back to her apartment still crying, looking like a mess and probably scaring the hell out of the cab driver, if the looks he threw her were any indication. One look in her hallway mirror and she saw her mascara smudged, her eyes puffy and the lip gloss she had put on earlier, before this all erupted, spread all over her chin. In other words: a mess. And she couldn't care less. Right now she couldn't care about anything at all. She had seen on her way over that there were messages on her cell, the numbers indicating JJ and Emily. But right now she was not in the mood to talk to anyone. At all.
She wanted to be alone, lick her wounds and work on the betrayal her former best friend had put her through. She thought about the last few months, the time she had spent with Derek Morgan as her boyfriend and couldn't help but cry more and fall into sobs that she wasn't able to control. It was just too much. The memories of their perfect lie. The lie she was part of. The lie he was part of. He was Derek Morgan after all. Womanizer, sex god and commitment-phobic. She had seen more women move in and out of Derek Morgan's bedroom than she could count and assumed he had lost count about as well by now. And all of a sudden he would become loving, dedicated, devoting boyfriend? Not fucking likely.
She stomped around her apartment. Her moods alternating between uncontrollable crying and sobbing to anger, wanting to hit something or someone. The only thing was she wasn't sure who she was maddest at. At herself, Morgan or even Kevin? Where had he been for the past months? Wasn't he her boyfriend? Shouldn't he have visited her, talked to her, cared and worried for her, at least once? She had only seen him at the hospital, now that she thought about it, and then at work but that was to be expected. After all did they work in the same building and only two floors away from each other. But that was it. There had been no other interaction.
At the end of the day, Penelope couldn't cry anymore, didn't have the energy to cry anymore and decided she wasn't really mad at anyone. She just felt used and betrayed, taken advantage of, deceived and let down by the one person she thought would never do anything to hurt her.
She fell asleep at some point way past midnight, not having the energy to stay awake any longer. Morgan had called several times, talking to her answering machine and apologizing over and over again. The last message he had left, only half an hour before she fell asleep, was just a few simple words.
I never wanted for this to end like this.
And just these few words started another wave of uncontrollable sobbing and crying again.
They had a weekend ahead of them and Penelope knew there would be plenty more messages on her machine by the time they reached Sunday and she should be right.
Emily and JJ somehow had heard of what had happened, probably because of Morgan, and didn't just let it be with a few single messages on her cell and answering machine. When Penelope hadn't returned any of their calls by Saturday evening both women decided to show up at their friend's door, having gotten the basics of what had gone down from Morgan, who had been rather concerned for Penelope, but also knew he would probably be the last person she wanted to see right now. He left out enough details to not make it any more embarrassing than it already was or give the two women too much information that wasn't their business.
Sunday morning Kevin stopped by. Penelope didn't even know how he heard about the whole 'magical recovery' – probably from JJ, since Emily herself had said before she would ever call Lynch she'd rather shot herself in the foot – but not he was intent on making sure she was okay.
Penelope threw him a raised eyebrow look and questioned "You didn't even think of coming by and clearing the air, talking to me? What kind of boyfriend are you?"
"I wanted to, okay, but Morgan and the rest of your fucking perfect team did everything possible to not have me get near you."
"So you just stayed away?"
"I tried-"
"How often did you try?"
"Once, maybe twice. But I called Morgan once per week."
"That's all you did? And you couldn't ... fight him to speak to me?" Penelope wondered.
"Super Agent Morgan was always reminding me what the doctors hadsaid. That it could be harmful if we didn't play along," Kevin defended pissy. He didn't want to defend himself to his girlfriend.
"So you let tell Morgan what to do?" she asked annoyed. "You are dating me, and not Derek Morgan, in case you forgot."
"What do you want from me?" Kevin asked angrily. "After all you were the one who forgot about me. I did not exist any longer and had to witness how you all of a sudden were all over Derek Morgan, the guy who probably was after getting into your panties ever since I started dating you. Tell me something, did you sleep with him?" Kevin asked, and Penelope didn't like the sound of this. Not because of the question in general, but more due to accusing tone in his voice.
Penelope hesitated for a moment, knowing she better lied to him about this. He might be more or less forgiving for the rest, but she knew Kevin Lynch. He would never forgive her when he knew she slept with Morgan, despite her not even knowing she was dating someone else.
The fact that she hesitated told Kevin everything he had to know. He just rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "Great. Just fucking great. Derek Morgan manages to score in a few months what took me nearly half a year to achieve. And you tell me again you don't want him," Kevin spat and Penelope started feeling anything else then sorry for him. She started getting angry. How dare him making her sound like a cheap whore, who seemed to have no other interest than sleeping with Derek Morgan.
She was about to say something, when he went on. "And maybe that was all just some act. Maybe you didn't even lose your memory, but just played like it so you could finally fuck Derek Morgan without having to feel guilty," Kevin ranted and a moment later he felt Penelope slap him.
"If you think that the last few months had only been an act I need to wonder how much you actually loved me before. I think … you better leave," Penelope was hardly able to announce. She walked to the door and opened it, making it rather clear that she wanted him gone now. "And don't bother coming back," she said, before closing the door, with him on the other side of it. That was all she could do before she sank down the door, to the floor, starting to cry once more.
