Sorry about the skips in the timeline when it jumps to the present, it will become more continuous, I am thinking of getting rid of the flashforwards altogether and just keep going from the past. Anyway enjoy.
Remus sat in the cottage upon the cold stone floor; he looked around the place with a sense of amusement and at the same time bitterness. His happiest and worst memories took place here; his first kiss, well his first true kiss; his first loss- one of those gut wrenching losses that one never truly recovers from. He sat down by the fireplace, and dusted away some ash that had gathered on the floor, covering the still luminous terracotta tile which surrounded the hearth. He was alone on Christmas day, as usual, wrapped in his usual tattered and worn cloak; Molly and the others had invited him to celebrate with them since Ron and Ginny would be remaining at Hogwart's for the Yule Ball. He smiled as he looked at the letters Ginny and Neville had sent him for Christmas, both of which told him about their excitement for the dance that Hogwarts was hosting. He had received many letters from the students he had gotten to know last year, many of which asked him if he had landed on his feet since leaving the school. He got up from the floor and checked the kettle which rested by the hearth, the water almost done boiling. He looked out into the graveyard which sat about a few kilometers away and covered the whole hill leading up to the Muggle church upon it. The snowy mists covering it like a haze, the window also looked out into the sea and beyond that the shadow of France looming in the distance.
I should have visited Maggie today, she always hated this time of year…she would have needed someone there with her.
His mind said to itself, he grabbed hold of the kettle, the handle slightly warm, and walked to the kitchen where a tin of coffee was standing open upon a small table. As he made his coffee he let the spoon stir on its own accord watching as the cream and sugar mingled and caused a light, white film to dance around the top of the black coffee, before sinking into the void and turning it a frothy brown hue. The full moon would not be for another few weeks so that wasn't the reason behind him spending Christmas alone; especially since Sirius was in fact alive and guiltless in James and Lily's deaths. Had Sirius stayed it would have been the first Christmas in a long time that he would have spent with anything constituting family.
No, the reason he spent this particular Christmas alone was because he needed to be alone, especially after the year he had; sacked from the job he had dreamed about for years; loosing and regaining family and friends he had long given up on. This lonely winter was for him to be- as Sirius put it, a lone wolf. To recuperate and to be alone with his thoughts; he was used to the loneliness; even with James and the others he felt uniquely alone, at least until the end of their fourth year. He had been thinking about that year a lot when he had heard that the Tri-wizard tournament was going to take place; often times his memories would assail him in the most inopportune moments. Harry and his friends had this one chance to experience what he and James and Lily had experienced; a chance to learn from something bigger than themselves. True it wasn't as grand as he had experienced but ever after that year he envied those who were able to take that end of school trip around the world. He being too poor was never able to go, although James and Sirius begged him to. He had a mother to support since his father died in the winter of his sixth year; but that was a different time. Thanks to Maggie and her connections he found some employment but not much…
He looked at his coffee and realized that he had phased out into his memories again and it had gone cold. This house was officially his yet he could not bring himself to think that it was; he didn't want to light the stove to heat the whole house; he didn't want to bring life back into this place because he was afraid- afraid that the old memories would flood back to him.
To look at death and loss in the face and see them as brothers…
Those words flitted back into his mind and he smiled; maybe going back to Hogwarts rekindled the old fears he had when he was younger, fears of living in the moment, fears of well…living.
"Thunk"
A sudden sound reverberated through the cottage as a gentle scratching was heard coming from the front door. Remus flicked out his wand and the small flame from the hearth jumped through mid air and repositioned itself in his hand, from whence it came. Cautiously he walked to the front door and opened it; there lying on a stunned heap of the snow covered front step was Errol, the Weasley's half-witted, half-blind bird. And beside it was a piece of parchment written in jet black ink. Upon the front of the folded parchment was a simple written message in a long and curved lettering:
"Remus Lupin, Hogwart's School of Magic and Wizardry, or whatever address he may inhabit at this moment."
He scooped up the letter and the dazed bird and placed the owl upon a perch by the door. He picked up the flame in his hand and sent it sizzling back to the hearth and realizing that the house was far too cold for the old owl he caused the flame to blaze warmer and brighter. The room filled with an orange glow and immediately the wisps of foggy breath that regularly emitted from his mouth disappeared as the warmth radiated from the hearth to the rest of the house. He turned over the letter and found written on the back in Dumbldore's handwriting a note in green ink,
Molly,
This arrived for Prof. Lupin immediately after last term and as usual it got lost in the bustle of end of term preparations; please see that it gets to him…I am sure if anyone can find him you can.
Yours truly Albus.
Remus cut open the wax seal from Hogwarts and saw the same flowing script that was written on the front; the letter read:
R.J.
I know it has been a while since I had last written to you and I am sure you probably know why- The war in England was something neither of us could expect and I am sorry I allowed our friendship to die away. I have been thinking about you a lot recently, especially since I went to the World Quidditch Cup finals; I half expected to see you there but I knew better than that. Anyway I heard from…Well someone told me you were at Hogwart's and I realized this as a chance to try, to hope that the years haven't been too detrimental to our friendship. Please write back to me as soon as you can…
With much love,
Maya Rodriguez-Parker
Remus looked at the name on the bottom of the letter; he smiled and walked almost absentmindedly to the kitchen sitting upon the richly carved chair where he had once sat. Maya…after all these years she remembered him; he looked at the cottage surrounding him. There was no real food to speak of in that house and yet now, he was incredibly hungry and wanting a full and at least friendly meal. He wrapped his cloak tightly about him and began to get ready to go. Maybe he wasn't too late for dinner with the Weasley's; as he recalled the flame to his hand and it returned to the shape of a small stone he let Errol walk stumblingly upon his arm. The poor bird would probably enjoy a nice apparation than have to fly back home with the snow. He stuffed the letter into his pocket and locked the door behind him. He looked over the misty hill and swamp land and the shadow of France in the distance. As he popped out of existence his mind fluttered back to the last time he saw Maya.
It was a blisteringly cold winter that year; and a blizzard struck Hogwarts with an unnatural fury that piled snow uncommonly high up to half-way the height of the castle's doors. Yet the blizzard wasn't the news on everyone's tongues; the Three Broomsticks was throwing a party in the middle of February to celebrate the engagement of the Innkeeper's daughter Rosemarta to a Ministry official who worked for the office of International Magical Cooperation. As a result the students from the Schools of Salem, Mexico and India were invited to participate as well as staff and students of Hogwarts. The party was highly anticipated and much of the excitement of the festival that had coursed through Hogwarts was over-shadowed by the excitement building up to the festivities in Hogsmeade. Couples were pairing up faster than anyone anticipated and it became a race to obtain a suitable partner before you were stuck with someone you didn't want or worse went alone. The most curious of occurrences was the teachers acting very much like the students. Professor McGonagall kept fixing her hair every time Professor Aldridge, a professor of potions from Salem passed by her; a few students even caught her giggling as he leaned in to talk her. Of all the students, there was only one who was less-than-enthusiastic. Remus was at first excited as the rest of his peers but one undeniable fact sobered him out of his enthusiasm. A full moon landed on that night, crushing any dream or futile hope of asking Maggie to attend the party with him. Of course he wouldn't have asked her if it were not a full moon, but he would have liked to think he could have.
Helena asked him if he was going and he feigned that he could not afford the proper dress robes for the occasion, which resulted in her presenting him a few weekes later with a set of fitted dress robes that not even Sirius or James could afford. They were black silk with silver embroidery and lion head cuff-links that growled every hour. Remus as usual with girl's advances, as few as they came, passed them on to Sirius or Peter who were more than willing to take them. So it happened that Sirius made his mother extremely happy with the prospect of attending a party with Helena LeFaer, something which he didn't particularly enjoy. James asked Agatha Keller to which the poor girl said yes, after recovering from fainting. Peter, as usual, was unwilling to ask anyone and so just decided to tag-along in dress robes that were far too small for his roundish frame. Remus sulked most of January. He was making his preparations for his three day stay in the Shrieking shack when a knock came on his dorm-room door. When he opened the door there stood Maya smiling at him; she had a small package in her hands and without him telling her she entered the room and sat upon his bed.
"M…Maya,what are you doing here? Who let you in?"
"Oh, Lily let me in; she seemed genuinely worried about you, she says you haven't been happy."
"I've…I've been fine really. Top shape."
"Then why haven't you been coming to our classes. I have missed having you there."
Remus had been avoiding the classes in the forest for a while, mostly because Helena was there and she seemed forlorn when she looked at him and Maya in their lessons. But he also stopped going because the classes changed to the night time and with the full moon approaching he didn't want to take any chances of revealing himself with an accidental partial transformation that can happen, especially in emotionally charged situations. Remus had trained himself from when he was young to control these partial transformations, but every so often he messed up and those were the times he was thankful for his friends who made up excuses for him being locked in his room for some evenings. He looked at Maya who looked expectantly at him and waved off her questioning face saying,
"My mum's not been feeling well; Professor Dumbledore lets me go every few weekends to see her and make sure she is alright."
"Oh that's awful, is that why you can't go to the party?"
"Yeah"
"It has nothing to do with a full moon being tonight?"
He nearly dropped his books when she said that and shook his head and said haltingly,
"Wh…what do you mean?"
He looked at her sideways and she raised her eyebrow disapprovingly, saying in her maternal tone she used when he couldn't understand something she was teaching him,
"Oh please, John, you don't think we didn't notice. Shamans use the stars and moons for some of our magic…you may have been able to hide it from your dim-witted classmates but we noticed right away. Besides, most of us are animagi; we've heard you howling since we've been here. And there have been a few times when you…well, got out."
Remus felt relieved and angry at the same time- here he was keeping a huge secret and Maya was treating it as though there was nothing at all wrong. Then he grew fearful, he had gotten out, he may have hurt someone…or something,
"I…I got out?"
Maya looked at him with her furrowed brow,
"Well, yes but Balam always looked after you, though I must say he was bit rough on you at times."
Remus's memories when he was a werewolf were always stuck in a haze but Maya's story explained why Professor Eaglefeather's yellow Jaguar eyes were so disconcerting and why he always watched him. Remus sat on the bed with a flop and let his other book fall. Maya placed her hand gingerly upon his lap and placed the package on it; it wasn't heavy but it was slightly cumbersome.
He looked down at it and then at her, not knowing that tears were coming out of his eyes, whether they were of joy or sadness he did not know. She wiped them away and then tenderly, almost organically placed her lips upon his, softly at first and then applying more pressure, the soft supple leathery feel of them registering in his mind when his brain finally woke up several seconds later. They kissed for what seemed like eternity; she slowly pressed him onto the bed, her black hair cascading down the sides of her face enveloping his own. Her lips were the first girl's lips he felt, her saliva was the first girl's saliva he tasted. The kiss was sweet and warm and he didn't want it to end. But she parted her lips from his, gave him a small wiry smile then slowly got off the bed. She left him in silence closing the door behind her- he stared at the package the brown paper wrapping crunching in his hand, and didn't remove his eyes until Professor McGonagall called his name.
It was time for him to go to the Shrieking Shack- he carried the package with him but didn't open it, placing it upon the bed where he clawed and bit himself instead of others. His wrists and ankles were chained to four stone bedposts and enchanted with a magical unbreakable spell. The bed looked out toward the road that passed between Hogsmeade and Hogwarts and in the dusk he saw several pairs of young wizards and witches march over to the town of Hogsmeade- he even saw a flare of red sparks jump into his view. Sirius, James and Peter had just passed by and alerted him with their agreed upon signal-he smiled hoping that they had a better night than he was bound to have. He lay down on the bed and thought about his first kiss. True it wasn't with Maggie, or even with Helena; it was memorable because it wasn't at all as he imagined it would be. It was neither romantic nor cold, but loving and tender…His thoughts trailed to the kiss until he heard a familiar voice coming from the road passing by the Shrieking Shack. It was Maggie…and she was singing.
