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DISCLAIMER: Naruto is property of Kishimoto©

WARNINGS: this contains male pregnancy or mpreg and NO yaoi. Heterosexual couples only.

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CM: Hi, this is important. I have a poll on my profile. Hopefully the last poll I will post for this story. I need to know if it's okay to either complete this story with spoilers from the current manga 600+ or use minimum spoilers as possible. So far poll results are dead even. Please take a minute to vote. Thank you in advance.

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Chapter 10: Old Wives' Tales

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Minato's eyes opened to meet the ceiling. It was a familiar sight now since he had recently lost the luxury of sleeping on his stomach. Now he resorted to sleeping on his side or his back. Minato turned his head to the side just in time to see Kushina drowsily rising from the bed. She yawned while stretching her hands above her head. She then smacked her lips and proceeded to scratch her left ass cheek in a manly fashion. Minato wrinkled his nose at the sight but then he smiled…that was his Kushina.

"Good morning, koi" Minato greeted her. His smile widens when he saw Kushina flinch. Kushina's face turned red as her hair. "Aha, g-good morning sweet-tums!" She was embarrassed Minato had caught her in such an unladylike demeanor. "So, um, are you ever going sit up? We have a prenatal appointment this morning!"

"I'll get up soon" Minato replied, still not moving.

With a mischievous smirk Kushina teased, "Miiiiinaaaaatoooo…"

"Don't rush me" Minato said.

With a knowing look in her eye, Kushina leaned over Minato with a smug grin and asked, "You need help don't you?"

Minato scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous…I'm not that big yet!"

Kushina snorted a laugh. "Then sit up" she challenged.

Minato didn't move. "Kushina…"

"Yes?"

"Leave me alone"

Kushina laughed. "You are too cute not to tease! Besides I'm so excited!" She squealed. "We finally can know the gender of our baby! Get up, Minato! Get up!"

The telephone ringed. "I'll get it!" Kushina volunteered. "Since you're beached and all!"

"I'm no beached!" Minato grumbled irritably.

'You are!' Kushina mouthed before answering. "Good morning! Namikaze residence! Oh! Hey Rin-chan, what's up? Uh-huh...huh? What…?! What do you mean our appointment has been moved?!" Kushina demanded. There more indistinct chatter on the other end of the phone. "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin don't do this to me! I really want to know the baby's gender!" Kushina begged. "…10: 15? Well I suppose…okay we'll see you then" Kushina reluctantly agreed. With a pout Kushina hung up the phone and wailed.

"What is it? Minato asked. He had managed to wiggle out of bed by then.

"Rin has moved your prenatal appointment to from 9:15 to 10:20 this morning!"

"That's not so bad, Kushi-"

"Ahhh, I wanted to know what the baby's gender is!"

Minato glanced at the clock. "Kushina-koi, it's only an hour later!" He repeated.

"An hour is like a thousand years!" Kushina cried childishly. "Besides I already know it's a girl! It just has to be confirmed" She insisted.

"Ow!" Minato let out a grunt at a sudden and unexpected kick from their child. "But it kicks like a boy" He reasoned as he rubbed his stomach. Kushina rolled her eyes. "Minato, she's my daughter. Oh course she packs a punch!"

"No, I have a feeling it's definitely a boy"

"Let's try being adults, Minato, and agree this baby is going to be a girl!"

Minato shook his head. He had a woman-child wife and was going to have a baby. It was like having two kids at once. Oh Well… it was his lot in life to fall in love with that fiery redhead. "I have an idea… come with me, Kushina" Minato led her to his home office. Reaching up on the self he pulled down a yellow book and handed it to her.

"109 Midwifery Tales?" Kushina read the title. "There's a book actually on midwifery tales?" She raised her eyebrows. "You really believe in that stuff?"

Minato shrugged. "I think it's worth a try. Especially since you can't wait" He grinned.

"Okay!" Kushina said brightly. She eagerly opened the book. "Hmmm…" Kushina flip through the pages of the book until a title caught her eye. "Huh? The Linea Nigra?" She read aloud.

"What's that?" Minato asked.

"It's latin for 'black line'…" Reading aloud Kushina said, "…a linea nigra may appear on your belly during pregnancy there is this brownish line that extends down the middle of your belly to your pubic area, about 1 cm in width…if you get a linea nigra and it runs from your pubic area to your belly button only, it's a girl, and if it goes all the way up from your pubic area to the bottom-most part of you rib cage, then it's a boy…"

"Sounds simple enough" Minato noted.

"Okay!" Kushina said eagerly. "Roll up your shirt, Minato" Minato did and there were no lines visible; not even stretch marks. So that's the reason why Minato smelled a lot like coco butter lately. "Hey, there's no line at all…" Kushina pouted in disappointment. "Minato! How could you?"

While rolling his eyes, Minato lowered his shirt. "Heeey, I can't help how my skin stretches out" He replied as he waddled downstairs. "Try another one, Kushina" he suggested. Once they reached the kitchen, Minato began to fix breakfast since Kushina was preoccupied.

"Okay, here's one, Minato. What type of foods are you craving lately?"

"Hmmm…Chicken ramen, beef jerky, peaches and cheese together—"

"Ew!"

"—and oreo ice-cream"

"That's a mixed response…" Kushina said in a lackluster tone. "Though it leans more toward boy…"

"How so?"

"Well, if you were carrying a girl. You would crave sweet things and fruit. If you are carrying a boy then you would crave dairy products and meat"

"Ah, definitely mixed" Minato agreed.

Kushina wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, especially when it involves you mixing those two things together!"

"Hey! I can't help it if it taste good!"

"Only to you it does… Minato, it's amazing you don't get constipated!" Kushina wrinkled her nose as she flipped the page. "Okay, now…do you have cold feet, Minato?"

"Lately? Well yeah. I thought it was because I was sitting more and—Hey!" Minato nearly fell backwards as Kushina lifted his foot without warning. Not to mention he almost dropped the egg carton. "Please don't do that, Kushina! My balance isn't what it used to be!"

"Sorry, I'll ask next time" Kushina placed the palm of her hand on the pod of Minato's foot. "Yeah, it's cool… I guess that's another check mark for boy"

Minato blinked in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah" She gently lowered her husband's leg. "According to this book if your feet get colder than they used to be before pregnancy, it's a sign you have a boy on the way. If your feet are the same, then it's a girl. Okay, the next one! Your partner's belly…?" Kushina read before her eyes narrowed darkly.

Minato poked at Kushina's belly with the handle of his spatula. "You did gain 13 pounds recently" He grinned. "It makes you cuddlier in my opinion-"

"Don't even go there Namikaze" Kushina snipped shortly. Minato closed his mouth quickly. Sure, Kushina wouldn't hit him while he was pregnant but he knew how vindictive his wife could be. It could be YEARS later before he would get a smack to the back of his head. Kushina was just that unpredictable. "So…um… so what was the point to that one?" he asked instead.

"Well apparently, if your husband. Meaning me in this situation" Kushina smirked. Minato's eyebrow twitched at her. "Puts on 'sympathy' weight with you during your pregnancy, then you're supposed to be carrying a girl. If he doesn't put on any weight, then it's a boy" Grudgingly Kushina said, "That's a check mark for girl then…"

"The next one is morning sickness… 'If you are sick as a dog during the first trimester that indicates you're having a girl. Little or no morning sickness points to a boy'…" Kushina blinked up at Minato. "What does that mean for you? Rin was shooting you up with all those hormones at first so that's probably what contributed to your sickness"

"That one doesn't count for either" Minato answered. "I was sick and now I'm not. It's neutral"

"Yeah" Kushina agreed idly as she flipped through the textbook. After reading the text she called out, "Hey Minato…" she sent him an impishly smirk."How are the man boobs?"

"I don't want to talk about it" Minato replied shortly.

"Touché" Kushina said. "That means you got them. Well then that's a check mark for girl. If your boobs "blossomed" that's a sign for girl-"

"Can we do another one, please" Minato gritted out.

"Okay, Minato, pick this key up and hand it to be" Kushina ordered. She placed a spare key on the counter.

Minato blinked. "That's it?"

"That's it"

"Hm…" Minato reached forward and picked up the key by its handle and gave it to Kushina. "What was that about?"

"Check mark for boy" Kushina remarked as she glazed down at the key in her palm. "If you pick up the long part it's a girl but if pick up by the handle it's a boy" Kushina started looking through the book again.

"Hm…" Minato hummed.

Kushina passed a few pages before stopping. She got up and lifted Minato's pant leg. "Wooohoooo! Look at those hairy legs!" Kushina ran her hand up and down Minato's calf. "Could definitely be a boy!"

Minato shook Kushina off his leg. "I've always had hair!" he snapped.

"Not thick like that, sweet-tums!" Kushina singed. "You're now so hairy that it's actually visible! And it feels like a fur coat! Wheee! Now my legs are considered hairless compared to your furry coat, YAY ME!" Minato cringed If we was busy rolling up the omelets he would have felt his own leg. "Ahhhh don't get sheepish. I actually like the hair!" Kushina commented earnestly. "How manly it makes you look!" She teased.

"…Really?" Minato asked hopefully. He was really lacking in the masculine department as of late.

Kushina winked. "Really" she reassured him. Nearing the end of the book, Kushina picked one last Midwife tale to try. "Okay the final test, Minato, are you ready?" She asked excitedly.

"Sure I guess…" Minato muttered distractedly. He was thinking Kushina was just gonna ask him another question. Boy was he wrong…

"Okay Minato, fill her up!" Kushina presented him with a large empty jar she had taken out of the cabinet.

"W-WHAT?" Minato asked incredulously. He never felt comfortable giving the doctors a urine sample, much less on demand. Kushina huffed impatiently. "Come, on this is a test!" She insisted. "Just pee in the jaw and I'll add some Drain-No to the cup. If it turns green, it's my Akane but if it's blue, it's a boy!"

Minato soured. He instantly regretted giving the book to Kushina in the first place. "Let's skip that one" he suggested politely.

"Don't be a spoiled-sport, Minato!"

"Actually, koi, we won't have time… It's getting close to ten already and I just finished cooking breakfast, here, sit down"

A rolled omelet, steamed rice and pickles were placed out before Kushina. "Eh?" The redhead blinked down in surprise. "Wait, cooking in the morning doesn't make you sick anymore?"

Minato chuckled. "You just noticed?" He sat down next to her.

"I guess I was distracted… thanks!" Kushina thanked Minato sheepishly before digging in. "Yum! You should cook more often, Minato. You're pretty good!"

"I prefer your cooking, Kushina"


"So would you like to know his gender—" Rin trailed off when she realized what she had just said. Smacking herself she groaned, "Ah crap!"

Biwako simply shook her head. She was sitting off to the side in a chair as she let Rin handle the prenatal appointment but now she reconsidered doing it herself. Minato and Kushina laughed. "It's okay, Rin we wanted to know our baby's gender anyway"

"It's a little pass the point now but yeah, you're having a boy!" Rin announced with a warm smile. "Congratulations!"

Minato looked over at Kushina. "Told you, he kicked like a boy" He remarked playfully.

Kushina shook her head in amusement. "Minato, of course he kicks like a boy: he's my son!"

Rin continued to scroll down a little on Minato's stomach, she said, "Okay, and right here is his butt…" And in Kushina's and Minato's eyes it was the most precious behind they had ever seen. "Oh my goodness…" Biwako said suddenly, her eyes widening a bit.

"What is it?" Minato asked worried, thinking something was wrong.

"Watch the lad's hand…what is he…" Biwako trailed as the hand of baby suddenly started to move downward.

"Yep, there's the hand moving and where is that hand going?" Rin teased playfully. "Oh, he's going, lower, lower and oh my…toward the left butt cheek!" Rin said, sounding more like a sports guide than anything. Eagerly she continued. "…And…and yes! He's scratching his butt!" she confirmed. Touch down.

Sure enough, the baby's hand had moved up and down a bit to scratch its little rump and then went back up to his chest where he had it before. Minato and Kushina cracked up along with Rin and Biwako at the sight. Nothing like having your unborn baby scratching it's ass for the whole world to see on the monitor.

"Oh my Kami…" Minato breathed in-between howls of laughter. "…he's definitely our son alright!" he laughed. "And he takes after you!" He told Kushina.

"H-How's that?!" Kushina demanded while blushing. "I-I…I don't do that..!" she tried to deny.

Minato sent his wife a flat look. "Kushina, be honest with yourself. We both know you're the ass-scratcher in the family" He stated as a matter-of-factly.

"DATTEBANE!" Kushina exclaimed, very embarrassed. "MINATOOOO!"

Rin and Biwako howled again with laughter. Covering her mouth Kushina gave them all a sheepish but happy smile. "And you know what, I'm glad of it" Minato confessed gently.

Rin muttered a soft 'ahhhhh' as Kushina blushed harder, her face now matching her hair. The redhead was taken aback by her husband's kind words. "You…you know you're going to regret saying that when he gets older!" Kushina said.

Minato just grinned in return.

'This little guy reminds of…' Rin shook her head. She didn't want to think about her teammate right now but she couldn't help herself. With her brown eyes lingering on the screen Rin wondered, 'Why is it every time I think of sensei's baby, I think of Obito-kun?'

There was such a thing as reincarnation but wasn't it too soon for that? Cycles usually were at least 100 years but yet there was a feeling that Obito was near. Rin just couldn't figure out where…was it here in this unborn child? Only time would tell and that was something she wanted to see with her own eyes.

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TBC...

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Next chapter: The Sweet Spats

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