AN// Okay here's another chapter, I hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Chapter Eleven: Memory / Summery: Kurogane had an amazing memory, and most of the time it came in pretty handy…but there were times when he wished he could just block crap out.

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Intro:

Kurogane had an amazing memory.

He could remember even the slightest details, the little things that most people would miss. He could remember exactly how his home looked, right down to the shade of green the grass was, and he could remember that, had he been home, the Sakura flowers should be blooming right around this time of year.

He could remember every fight, every battle every kill that he had made in his lifetime; the raw feeling of his blade cutting through skin and muscle and bone. The gush of blood as it splattered his armor and stained his cloak.

Yes, he remembered it all.

And it wasn't just images he could remember, he could also remember how something sounded. Like the tiny sliver chimes that hung from the ornate headdress that Tomoyo-hime wore, and the sound of metal clashing on metal ringing in his ears making his heart race with the adrenaline and excitement of battle. He could remember the voices of his parents, his mother's soft yet elegant voice that would sing him to sleep, and wake him every morning sweetly. His fathers deep and rough voice that would tell him stories of his own previous battles as a little Kurogane sat and listened in awe as his father recounted his victories.

All of these memories and sounds could, in one way or another, bring him comfort. Every time that he found himself straying away from his mission he would find a peaceful spot where he would not be disturbed; he would sit down, lean back, close his eyes and remember. He would think of his home, and recall everything he could think of trying to make it easier to leave his friends.

Yes, he considered them friends. Well… actually, more like a sort of, family. But he would never admit this out loud. Sakura was like a sweet little daughter, so kindhearted and innocent. If anything ever happened to her he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself from slaughtering the people who had done that to her, curse or no curse. Syaoran, the son he never thought he would have, his courage and growing strength never ceased to amaze Kurogane, who took great pride in knowing that that boy was his pupil. He never told Syaoran that he was proud of him, though maybe he should. And even that little pork-bun Mokona was something like some stupid little family pet…

And then there was Fai.

He didn't know what to think of Fai. What was he to him exactly? Was he a friend? An acquaintance…? He really didn't know.

Kurogane had never been more torn in his life. It was so difficult (though he knew it really shouldn't be and that it was probably his own fault) to make the choice, to leave them and return to his life in his world. Return to serving his princess.

But it was so fucking difficult!

And he really wished he didn't have to make this decision.

End Intro.

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Kurogane's memory came in handy most of the time, but sometimes he wished he could just block crap out.

Like right now for instance.

He couldn't even make eye contact with that moron anymore without remembering! And it happened nearly two months ago (at which point he had started insisting that he share a room with his student while Sakura took the other room with Fai) Why couldn't he just get over it already and forget it!

…Oh yeah, his memory. Fuck.

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"Ne, is Kuro-sama alright?"

"…"

"It's not very nice to ignore me like that Kuro-myuu!"

"…Hn."

Kurogane could just hear the blond pout but didn't dare turn to face him. He knew it was stupid but he just couldn't do it. Because every time he even glanced Fai's way, his memory would make him see it again.

"Kuro-puppy, why are you ignoring me?"

"…."

And surprisingly enough Fai just walked away. Kurogane sighed.

This really fucking sucks…'

About two months ago, when they had still been sharing a room; Kurogane had awoken to some very…er, interesting noises coming from the person lying next to him (they had to share a bed for like the billionth time because there were only two rooms and the kids refused to share a bed and Syaoran insisted with sleeping in the same room as the princess). Being only slightly curious (and really annoyed since he was trying to sleep and ninja's who did not get their sleep got really cranky really fast) Kurogane glanced over his shoulder and nearly choked on his own spit. And even though he knew he should really stop staring, he found that he couldn't. There was Fai, half of his flushed and sweaty face pressed into his pillow his mouth open as he panted and gasped for air, one of his hands gripping the sheets beneath him his other was down his night pants. His eyes were closed and he was obviously dreaming and in spite of himself Kurogane wondered just who on earth he was dreaming about.

And then he regretted wondering.

Because the moment the thought had been finished Fai moaned a name softly into his pillow.

"Nngh. Kuro-sama… please…"

And now every time he so much as looked at him that image, that memory would appear and it was bad enough that he had to think and dream about it without having to see it while he was awake.

And of course, being who he is Fai does NOT like being ignored…not one little bit. And Kurogane knew that, but he had no choice, he just couldn't look at him anymore. Because he was afraid that if he did and had to be subjected to that mental image one more time…

He was going to fucking lose it.

In other words…rape was a very likely possibility here.

But unfortunately for Kurogane, Fai was not one to just lie down and take it; he DID NOT like being ignored. So once again he had cornered him later that day while the kids were out exploring and began his epic quest to weasel an answer out of the very irritated and very frustrated ninja.

How did do that you ask? Well, how do you think? He annoyed him to death of course!

"Ne, Kuro-sama, tell me why you're ignoring me!"

"…."

"Has Kuro-puu gone mute?"

"…."

"Has Kuro-tan forgotten how to speak?"

"…." Fai resisted the urge to laugh as he watched his dark ninja grit his teeth and clench his fists. 'Just a little more…' he thought.

"Oh I get it, Kuro-daddy is pouting because mommy is paying more attention to Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun! Don't be jealous daddy mommy loves you too!"

That seemed to get "daddy's" attention. He turned on Fai not a moment after the words had left his mouth the look that he gave Fai was angry and annoyed, and frustrated and a lot of other things that Fai didn't really recognize.

"You want to know why I won't talk to you?! Why I won't even LOOK at you?!" Fai was sure that Kurogane hadn't noticed because he didn't seem all that effected by it but there faces were really close now and Fai had been pressed against a wall so moving wasn't really an option.

Fai was silent, so Kurogane continued.

"I was ignoring you because you were having a fucking wet dream while I was lying AWAKE right next to you! And you know what else?!"

Fai was so embarrassed that though his face was red and his heart was hammering away in his chest he just stared up at the ninja with wide nervous eyes and without really thinking first he nodded ever so slightly.

And in an unexpected turn of events, Kurogane's cheeks turned a very light, barely noticeable shade of red. Fai blinked in confusion.

"You…talk, in your sleep…"

Fai could have died, right on the spot. Dear lord, what had he said?

"Um…what, exactly… did I say?"

Silence.

Fai looked down at his feet, face seven shades of red and (for some reason) resisting the urge to run like hell and never look back. He eventually chanced a glance up at the ninja, whom still had his hands on Fai's shoulders.

"…?"

"You…you said…"

"…yeah?" he felt the hands on his shoulders grip tighter.

"Why."

"Why?"

"Why did you say my name, why mine."

Silence again.

As Kurogane stared down at Fai, who had his head bowed and his arms hung loosely at his sides.

"I thought it would have been obvious." Kurogane watched curiously as Fai glanced up at him and their eyes met and a very small, very weak (and desperate and lonely, and oh so dejected) solemn smile on his lips.

Kurogane stared down at Fai, saw the raw bleeding crack in the surface of the ever resilient mask begin to grow and he closed his eyes.

This time he didn't remember anything when he closed his eyes.

Now he had something else he could remember when he looked at Fai.

He could remember their first kiss.

And how the kids had decided they would walk in right at that moment.

'Fucking memory…'

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AN// I kinda like this one, not really sure.

FEED BACK PLEASE! X3