Conflictions, Flashbacks, and the Worst Week Ever
Man I was going to have this out by Wednesday at the latest. (This is still part of the week, right? I didn't lie to KK1986?)
How about we not leave any more time in between the last chapter and this shall we? Sorry for the super late update (I owe you all about a billion plus apologies) but school finals come first and then I was visiting friends and got a little behind. I am also planning on two or three new stories and I am hoping to write ahead on them before I start posting but I also want to finish this story. We have quite a bit more to go on this story and I feel that the plot really picks up here and it's only later this week because I had a lot of thinking to do on the second flashback. You'll see. I hope you enjoy and tell me what you think!
Remember thoughts and flashbacks are in italics and yes my username has changed and everything is matchy- matchy on FF AO3 and Tumblr!
Felicity huffed making her way out of the bar after her exhausting evening shift. She was in a horrible mood, worse than usual, and she hoped her mother wouldn't notice. Taking a deep breath, leaning against the ally wall leading from the back entrance of her job to the sidewalk of the strip, Felicity paused. Of all of the weeks in her life this might stack up as the worst.
Except the weeks where she thought Oliver was dead.
And when she got blown up on the date she'd been waiting for.
And Slade's attack on the city.
And when Oliver-
Felicity grumbled to herself, cutting off her thoughts, and chastising herself for even thinking of him. Them she corrected silently.
She sighed walking back towards her apartment complex, in no hurry. Along with other things happening this week that were horrible, one thing she had to admit that wasn't was thinking of her team. She missed them, although she still felt bitter at times at her crumbling relationship with Oliver. She found herself constantly asking herself what they could be doing, if Diggle and Oliver had returned, how Thea and Roy were getting along again. If Laurel was working on a new case, if baby Sara was crawling more. She told herself countless times to stop but now she couldn't.
She had run off and that was her choice but she was now constantly second guessing every decision she made.
Could I have talked to Oliver?
Would he have listened?
Would he have let me help?
Would we be able to move forward?
Together?
But she ran like she always did and she had to accept the consequences. They could have stopped looking for her, Oliver could have accepted that she was "safer" away from him and the team. And those thoughts made her stomach clench in the most undesirable way. Felicity hated feeling this way because it was all her old insecurities bubbling to the surface, making her feel the same way she did when her father left and she wanted to fix it but she was afraid it was too late. They might not accept the new her and whatever new scars she has from this, even if they weren't physical. And she may be able to dye her hair back to blonde – and she secretly believed she missed it – but she would be different. And that made her sick because she had so much trust in Oliver before but now she is so afraid.
Not of him, never of him, but of where they would stand now.
After running would he push her away again? Or would he accept that she would be there to stay? Would he apologize? Shut her out?
Now stuck in her thoughts, Felicity realized those were the exact fears she was running from, the possible answers that she may not agree with.
Felicity gave her head a good shake focusing instead on something that was in need of her more immediate attention.
High school. Or rather the people that came with it that had her mind spinning. It had started with Monica Shaffer earlier this week and oh was Felicity pissed.
Monica Shaffer was – no still is – the polar opposite of what Felicity was in high school. Pretty, popular, athletic all the things Felicity wasn't. But two things Felicity did have over the snob was she was kind and the thing she was immensely proud to have in comparison to Monica was her intelligence. The latter of which Felicity's high school bully was never happy in lacking. But her Las Vegas high school being small everyone knew Felicity's IQ, or at least those who could count that high did, and Monica Shaffer and her lackeys made sure to make Felicity's high school life miserable. It usually wasn't public but it didn't have to be. Felicity was standoffish and she became that way through years of having no friends due to her intelligence and lack of filter. And Monica's group used everything to their advantage.
Felicity really started to feel insecure in high school anyway, and she knew she was different. The absence of people who wanted to talk to her, besides those that had to like lab partners and the like and teachers, showed her that. The girls lingering stares and snickers behind her back never helped anything either and really cemented Felicity's position as a social outcast.
Felicity was lucky to get out while she could, although to some that made them resent her more.
But oh to Monica's surprise and joy and to Felicity's horror, who happened to walk into the bar while Felicity was working the afternoon shift? And who recognized her even in all her attempts at avoidance?
Monica Shaffer. With a big diamond ring on her wedding finger too. Go figure.
Felicity was surprised the girl remembered her name – after a few attempts- much less that there was someone out there that actually wanted to marry the rude woman. But then again she had also been the walking cliché of Felicity's high school.
In Vegas you were either rich, got rich, or were pretty and married rich. Apparently Monica hit the proverbial jackpot and the literal one because she was all three. And she had no problem telling Felicity all about it.
"Wait a minute... Felicia – no Flicka! Wait that's it Felicity! Hey, Felicity!"
Felicity cringed at an oddly familiar voice and started to pray. Of all the people who could possibly happen to show up where she now works it had to have been her high school enemy.
Felicity was still praying for it to be a mistake, as she had enough on her conflicted mind already, and turned to see the unpleasantly familiar face of Monica Shaffer. The woman of which seemed overjoyed that her tiny little brain finally remembered Felicity's name, it must have worked over time for that jewel of knowledge.
Felicity winced and recognized her internal storm cloud forming, knowing she was never this mean unless someone deserved it. But after Monica started talking Felicity changed her mind, thinking the girl did.
"That's it! Felicity! It's so good to see you," Monica said hands fluttering uselessly about her as she talked, nearly blinding Felicity with her wedding ring that looked way too heavy.
How is her finger not broken, Felicity asked herself, but zoned back into what Monica was saying.
"-college right? Of course everyone knew that you got out. A lot of people resented you for that," she laughed as if it was an inside joke not an insult towards Felicity's intelligence.
Although the bar was slow in the early afternoon Felicity was still working which meant she had to be polite. For now anyway.
So smiling stiffly Felicity answered with, "Monica, yes it's me how good to see you. How have you been? Married I see?"
At that Monica beamed, a sparkle in her eye at her ring, and obvious wealth, being acknowledged, and Felicity knew she just made a mistake.
"Why yes," she responded, voice much higher than acceptable in their environment, ready to tell her story and brag. "It started right after high school. You know Mommy and Daddy right?"
Felicity did not, not personally, and for that she was grateful, but everyone in high school knew of the Shaffer's wealth so Felicity nodded in response.
"Well it all started at a game night at their casino, you know the one down the road?"
Felicity did in fact know it and, unbeknownst to Monica, Felicity had been kicked out of there once due to card counting. But not after getting away with a good portion of her M.I.T. tuition.
"Well Philip Richardson was there! Yeah I know! Him! He was a year older than us in high school, football player, parents loaded because of their Vegas hotel? Well we got to talking and we went out to dinner a few times, just catching up you know. But next thing I know he's down on one knee practically begging me to marry him and how could I say no after all our time together? We got married two months ago and it's been perfect!" During her entire speech she had a dreamy look in her eyes and Felicity resisted the urge to roll hers. Monica, amazingly able to pull focus away from herself for a moment, glanced around the restaurant quickly before giving Felicity a once over.
"I'm actually meeting him here for an early dinner. And I'm guessing you'll be serving us?" Monica sounded surprised as her statement came out as a question, finally noticing Felicity's hair pulled back into a bun and her apron around her waist, her simple black tray hanging limply by her side, as she had listened to Monica's story with indifference.
"Please, I hope not," Felicity mumbled to herself.
"What was that? Doesn't matter, I want to know what you have been up to."
That's a first.
"Well as you know I went to college," Felicity started then cleared her throat, feeling immensely uncomfortable sharing her life with a person whose once sole focus was on ruining it. "I then got an internship at Queen Consolidated then a job and now am taking a sabbatical visiting my mom." Felicity did not at all feel guilty of that slightly white lie. She worked with the Arrow, she's done worse.
"Starling City and Queen Consolidated? With the Oliver Queen? Oh honey why did you even take that sabbatical I wouldn't have. But I guess if you felt the need to come back and dress that way then your life is your life sweetheart." Apparently not able to not think about other men and throw in an insult too, Monica gave her one last bright smile, that seemed a bit to smug, as she walked away.
"Oh and there's Philip, it was interesting to see you Felicity and there are plenty of others from high school around here that I'm sure can't wait to hear about you! Bye!" Monica gave a distracted wave over her shoulder that Felicity was only half paying attention to as Monica embraced her husband out of the corner of her widening eyes. She was horrified because she could barely stand Monica and her groupies then and now but everyone else that either annoyed or hated her?
This was a nightmare and Felicity wondered if she actually happened to think leaving Starling and her team through.
Felicity groaned remembering that encounter that started her horrible week, and she also thought back on how she had begged off work early and had rushed home, hoping to avoid anyone else, and had hidden in her room.
Very mature; she felt like it was high school all over again. She didn't fit in with the cool, athletic ones, aka Team Arrow, at the moment and decided to go back home back to being a loner and now even that wasn't working out because it seemed everyone who never acknowledged her before wanted to talk to her nowadays.
Which brought her to tonight's stressful encounter during her late shift that ended her oh so fantastic week. She had thankfully not run into other high school alumni, so far, but tonight thanks to the gossip that is Monica, Jason Tike walked in, eyes nervously flitting around, as Felicity stood near a table she just served praying he didn't recognize her. But with the kind of luck she had with this week of course he would see her.
It's not that Jason was ever a bad guy just…off. Due to Vegas High School being so small they had a few classes together, but not all of them due to Felicity's advanced brain. But her last year Felicity decided to take chemistry and, although she didn't need it, she wanted to take the course and her lab partner was Jason. Not a lot of people liked to talk to Felicity in school; most liked to talk about her. But Jason did, occasionally, even though he was still naturally a quiet person. But he was nice and he at least talked to her so that was something to Felicity. She would've liked to say they became friends but towards the end of the year she disagreed. He was a kind person but something about him never sat right with Felicity. So she was cordial and when the year was over she was happy to be out of there.
But again now she's back in town and he had to come looking for her. Why, Felicity did not know but again something always seemed off about him.
Felicity turned away from the newlywed couple that she had just served desert to, when a blast of warm air came in, signaling that one of the entrances had been opened. Turning, expecting to have to seat a new costumer she froze as she recognized her old lab partner. She couldn't believe he was still here. He had a good head on his shoulders he could have gone far but he apparently chose to stay in Vegas. He didn't look all that different from high school, maybe a bit more built and he stood a bit taller than the shy kid that she had sat next to. Dare she say it he could even be a bit cute if she was interested. But she never was because the only thing, besides the occasional boyfriend, that she focused on in high school was her acceptance letter to MIT. He seemed to be looking around for someone anxiously and she didn't know anyone here that he would know but it has been a few years.
Well she didn't know anyone here that he could know except her.
Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and silently cursed as she remembered what Monica's parting words were earlier that week.
Oh no please no, she thought to herself as she started to pivot away towards the kitchen.
"Excuse me? Felicity?"
His voice hadn't even changed much, only judging by the amount of times she heard him speak, but it seemed a bit deeper. She opened her eyes and saw her boss not far and she knew if she didn't acknowledge Jason, or seat him, she may lose her job and she really couldn't be left alone to her thoughts with nothing to do.
So turning back she plastered on a smile, that she hoped didn't look like a grimace, and nodded towards Jason. Who was grinning like the cat ate the canary (and she had pushed that pun and the memories that came with it out of her head) and waved to her in greeting.
She led him to a table and he started speaking to her right as he sat down.
"Wow Felicity is that you?" At her nod in response his grin seemed to widen if that was possible and he continued."
"How long has it been? Where have you gone? What are you doing back after all your dreams of college? How have you been?"
Felicity's eyebrows rose at the speed of his questioning, asking herself if this was how other felt when they listened to her ramble and rant.
"Ummm," she started when he had stopped to breathe in his obvious excitement. "I'm fine, staying and visiting with my mom. It's been awhile hasn't it? And I did go to college and get a nice job but I'm on break visiting my mom like I said."
Felicity was cautious with her answers and also surprised at his eagerness to know.
"Jason? Right?," because how embarrassing would that be to forget his name now.
She had interrupted before he could continue with his interrogation because she had some questions of her own the most important being-
"How did you know I was here? Who told you?" She figured she already knew the answer but had to ask anyways to find out who else knew she was in town and thought the best use of their time was to come terrorize her at work. Gambling in the casino and eating at the bar and restaurant was one thing but gossiping about how Felicity is back in town is another issue she doesn't want everyone to know about. She has enough problems as it is that she needs to work out.
Jason's throat clearing snapped her out of her thoughts and she focused again on him as he said, "I, uh, ran into Monica the other day and she seemed excited to tell everyone that you were back in town and working in the same places your mom does. So I figured I should stop by and say hello." During his speech he had pauses and licked his lips every so often and seemed to transform back into the shy kid in high school. Taking pity on him she decided not to press for more even though it seemed there was more to it.
He was a nice guy and he didn't come in here and talk to her like Monica did so he was at least a better conversation partner.
So she smiled and went on to ask how he had been and what he had been doing since high school. Out of high school he had gone to the local community college and then just did odd jobs. Felicity never knew exactly what his parents did, or who they were for that matter, but she suspected he helped them out from time to time. It seemed he just didn't have one job he worked everywhere. He asked a few more questions, some Felicity got away with not answering because they just seemed too intrusive and she wasn't up for opening up to anyone lately.
But earlier she gave him his drinks, he wasn't there for food or dinner, just to talk to her and that's what they had done. In the end, although her week had been stressful and she hadn't wanted to see any of her old classmates, talking with Jason hadn't been that bad. Although she never knew him that well it was better talking with him and his shy nature than with Monica earlier that week and her snide remarks that just reminded her of the voices that drifted down the hallways in high school.
Tilting her head back as she walked toward the quieter part of town at this time of night she looked at what stars she could see through the blinding lights and tried to focus on the slight breeze through the haze of the music and smell of strong alcohol. She knew she couldn't hide forever no matter how long she chose to stay in Vegas, this was her home. This was where she experienced heartbreak, bullying, loss, and joy, this was where she grew up. And Felicity knew there was no changing that, not that she would want to because it made her the person she is today.
You can take the girl out of Vegas but you can't take all of the Vegas out of the girl. Good or bad.
Sighing she resumed her regular pace as she saw her and her mom's apartment building up ahead, realizing her thoughts and reminiscing had brought her back as she had not been paying attention to the time. She walked through the front door, nodding to the night security near the front desk, and made her way up the stairs, deciding maybe the slight exercise to the third floor would help calm her enough for her to get some sleep.
Making her way down the hall way she heard some voices, but they were hushed, probably because of the late hour, so she couldn't make out how many there where or what they were saying.
But if she could she probably would have gone in the other direction. Maybe take the fire escape up to her window entrance instead.
Rounding the corner Felicity froze, in shock or horror or surprise she couldn't decide which, because standing there was none other than one Oliver Queen, John Diggle, and Roy Harper.
Roy noticed her first, as Oliver seemed to be having a heated conversation with her mother while trying to remain civil and John's back was to her leaning against the wall next to the door. When Roy saw her he did a double take and his eyes widened as he frantically began poking Oliver's shoulder, at a loss for words. Oliver, with his big muscles and she cringed at her thoughts, didn't seem to notice at first still conversing with her mother. But John, ever the wise one, took notice of Roy's obvious panic and lack of voice and turned in the direction of his startled stare. John didn't have to do a double take as Roy had done but Felicity could feel his eyes burning holes in her as he looked her up and down, recognizing her immediately even in her changed state. His calm expression didn't seem to waver, but his eyes looked towards her and seemed to say that they needed to talk.
Felicity wasn't exactly looking forward to that.
"What!?"
Felicity jumped at Oliver's annoyed roar towards Roy and looked back towards him at the same time he looked towards her and their eyes locked. Felicity could see the anger and turmoil but also the relief at seeing her and she also noticed something else she didn't want to think too hard on at the moment.
He took a step towards her, arms extended, reaching, as he started to say her name in that sweet, calming way he does and that's when Felicity took her chance.
"Feli-"
She used that step he took to duck into the space he created and pushed passed her mother into their apartment faster than you could say Barry Allen, making a beeline for her bedroom and slamming the door behind her. She hoped that wasn't overly dramatic. She did leave. She didn't have to mistreat her bedroom door.
Nevertheless, she flopped down on her bed, huffing at the way her brain was prioritizing things, and buried her face into her pillow.
And screamed.
Perfect week indeed.
Longest chapter ever! I'm so proud of me!
And I tried to make this extra-long to make it up to you. It's a little troubling on how long it took me to get this out and I will try to be writing faster now that things have slowed down again in my life.
Fun fact I was actually putting Monica's husband as Jason the I had trouble starting Jason's story line so I came back to it the next day and wrote the entire rest of the chapter as her lab partner being Jason Richard and I'm like what am I missing? And thank goodness for proofreading or I would have missed it and you all would have been confused but then I liked his name as Jason so I just changed Monica's husband's name. He can deal with it. But if there's a mixed up name in there tell me and ill fix it because that would be horrible and confusing.
Also I will be traveling next weekend and will be away for three weeks. But before you panic! I will 1) try and post at least (I'm aiming for two) two more chapters before I leave and 2) I will be posting on travel there is Wi-Fi just the Wi-Fi is spotty at times so if there's an update at 2 am don't judge? Ok? Ok!
Tell me what you think!
Happy 4th of July for those in the US!
I really need my own working laptop…
