Everyone's Eyes
Chapter 11: Naruto
(---)It may have taken Naruto awhile to figure it out, but once he knew, the whole village knew.
He proclaimed to each and every villager he came across at a level that could've driven anyone deaf.
(---)The next day, when Temari and Shikamaru found him, they beat him senseless.
He was in the hospital for an entire week.
If Naruto was anybody else, it would've been at this moment that he would've learned not to advertise the public doings of powerful shinobi to everyone he came across.
As he was Naruto, the only thing he learned was that Temari and Shikamaru worked EXCELLENT as a team.
(---)Shikamaru was crazy, Naruto was sure, for deciding to marry that violent blonde woman. The so-called genius was crazy, Naruto decided.
(---)Shikamaru was a true genius, Naruto decided, when he saw Temari for who she was. Temari would have died if Naruto and the back-up had arrived just a minute later.
Temari may have been a scary woman, but who better to watch your back than the craziest strongest kunoichi in their generation. (Naruto included Sakura in that statement)
Shikamaru was a genius, Naruto decided.
(---)Shikamaru was in hysterics the day after that particular mission. Because of Temari, he was able to walk around as soon as he regained consciousness. She on the other hand was severely injured. His injuries were minor and this only allowed the shadow ninja to lose control.
Naruto had seen many ninja lose their control, but not Shikamaru.
Shikamaru in hysterics over Temari quite possibly topped any other shinobi in hysterics.
(---)Naruto would say Shikamaru in hysterics topped every shinobi, male or female, period, if it weren't for seeing Temari in hysterics.
Now that was scary.
(---)They had a really weird way of communication, so Naruto thought. It was damnably unnerving. When they talked in their special way, Naruto had no clue what the two were talking about.
He once saw Shikamaru ask Temari if she wanted to eat at the barbeque place without saying a single damn word. He also saw her reply without saying a word.
And it wasn't like it was obvious with head nods and jerks it was…weird. It was all eyebrows and eye twitches and kami knows what else.
(---)He can tell a good…half of the time what Temari replies when they communicate that way, but he can hardly ever tell what Shikamaru says or replies because to Naruto his damn face expressions are always the same.
(---)"Dammit! If you two don't use your voice you're going to go mute!! Speak damn you! You know how difficult it is for normal people to understand you?!"
Temari smiled, "Naruto, are you SURE you want to know what we are talking about?"
Something about the blonde sand ninja's smile made him think twice. Temari only ever smiled like that when she had something … vindictive up her sleeve. He'd spent enough time with Gaara to know THAT. "Ano…I … I hear … Kiba calling me?"
"Naruto, did you just ask me–"
"Nope, bye. Continue being weird."
Shikamaru laughed. "You are so…"
Temari smiled, "So, what?"
Naruto wanted to throw something at the couple when he realized they'd continued the conversation in their creepy non-verbal thing.
(---)"I would make a good Hokage wouldn't I?" Naruto asked the crowd.
Everyone grumbled unintelligibly.
Naruto sulked. Jeez, he was feeling lousy and they couldn't even cheer him up by saying he would make an excellent Hokage? He'd settle if they just replied 'yes' even if it were half-heartedly.
"I think you'd make an exceptional Hokage, Naruto." Temari said with one of her honest smiles. "Gaara thinks so too, although he does think you need to tone down a bit."
"More like a lot." Shikamaru grumbled.
Naruto scowled.
Temari smacked the lazy shadow-ninja over the head. "Baka."
Shikamaru rubbed his head. "What did I do?"
"You were rude." Temari directed her attention back to him, "Besides; I've noticed all Konoha Hokage's are a bit off the wall. I'd think you'd do fine. Keep you from going insane and all that. You just would need a 'proper, toned-down advisor'. Like Gaara has Kankurou who is the complete opposite of him. A joker who provides him with comic relief."
He always liked her.
Even if she was a bit crazy.
(---)Temari came up to him and took away his special hat. "Well, Mr.Hokage," she was grinning that 'evil' smile, "Gaara tells me you REALLY screwed up at that meeting with the other leaders."
"I didn't screw up…I just…" he murmured. "Said some things which I'm apparently not allowed to say."
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, "Oh, so that's what you call it, Naruto?"
"Shut up."
Temari had HIS Hokage hat on her head and she was smiling like mad. Crazy freak. Shikamaru lay slouched in the chair in front of his really cool Hokage desk looking at the ceiling. Temari smiled slyly at Naruto at then glanced in Shikamaru's direction.
Naruto smiled. But she was fun.
The blonde girl kicked her boyfriend in just the right way so he flailed and attempted to catch his balance, which he failed to do, so he smacked into the floor. "Dammit, woman." He scowled. "What was that for?"
She shrugged. "It's the hat. It makes you do crazy things."
(---) "You're marrying her?!"
Temari's eyebrow twitched. "What's that supposed to mean, Naruto?"
"You're bossy. He's lazy."
Shikamaru laughed.
Temari scowled. "So?"
"I'm just saying; it's a very weird combination. But it's a really funny one for the on-looking crowd."
"Funny?" Temari said thinly. "You think a decision like marrying is funny?"
He shrugged. "Nope. I think its nuts." He pointed at Shikamaru, "He never does anything. The only reason he's Jounin is because of you. The only reason he's my 'advisor' is because of you. The only reason he does anything is because of you. You're marrying down."
Temari laughed.
Shikamaru scowled. "Shut up, Naruto."
The young blonde Hokage shrugged. "I'm just saying, Temari could do much better. She IS the sister of the Kazekage and a better ninja than you."
Temari smiled, "Well, it's a good thing then that I like taking a rusty metal and making it shine than just settling for fake shiny gold." She leaned forward, "By the way, Naruto, someone made YOU shine too."
(---)When Naruto was young he'd decided Shikamaru was an annoying brat. Compared to Shikamaru's kids, Shikamaru was the greatest thing since kunais.
(---)The marriage of Shikamaru and Temari meant more relations with Suna. More relations with Kankuro and Gaara.
Some were displeased.
Naruto was ecstatic.
Nothing was funnier than Kankuro trying to change a diaper.
(---)"I'm gonna be Hokage." Shikamaru's little girl told him once.
"I'm sure you can if you keep working hard." Naruto assured her with a grin. He really was sure she could. With Shikamaru's genius and Temari's determination, this girl would be a great Hokage.
"I'll be better than you." She sneered.
Naruto ignored the comment.
At least until the boy spoke up. "That's not a fair statement, neechan." Damn straight it wasn't, Naruto thought. "A peanut would be a better Hokage than this blonde idiot is."
Naruto tried to restrain himself from hurting or yelling at the twins.
He did NOT like those twins.
(---)When Naruto told Temari how disrespectful the twins were to him, she laughed. Naruto felt irritated. "I'm a damn good Hokage!!"
"Of course you are, Naruto," Temari assured him, "These kids are like Shikamaru, they insult the people they admire."
"Me?" Shikamaru scoffed. "More like you, annoying woman."
"Lazy idiot." Temari retorted.
"Violent loud-mouth."
"Aggressive instigator."
"Sloth."
"Sadistic."
"Indolent."
"Slave-driver."
"Waste of oxygen."
Naruto rolled his eyes. These senseless arguments always made him question their sanity.
(---)"Why?" She teased him. "Will you miss me? Or you can't wait 'till I leave?"
"Sure." Shikamaru mumbled.
"Sure, what? 'Sure' you'll miss me? Or 'sure' you want me to leave?"
He looked up at her. "Erhgoghlg."
She raised an eyebrow, "What was that?"
"I dunno. Whichever one you want it to be." He replied.
The twins looked at their father with a grimace. Naruto winced. Temari smacked him with her fan.
"DAMN, WOMAN!"
"Man, dad." The girl mumbled later. "That was stupid."
The boy nodded in agreement. "Even NARUTO thought that was a moronic reply."
Naruto's eyebrow twitched. "What's that supposed to mean?"
(---)Later, Naruto came to the conclusion that the reason Temari and Shikamaru's marriage worked for each other is because they were from the same puzzle. Opposite pieces, but together they created a beautiful picture.
Well…that and they were both equally insane.
A/N: The second to last one was actually just inspired from a conversation I had with my brother. Sometimes he says the STUPIDEST things, but they're actually really funny.
I don't really like the second one by the way.
I feel not sick no more! But I feel tired. I was working in some stupid forest-thing which really isn't so much a forest as it is a dried up desert weed-infested area, for a science project type thng. Sheez, I don't even work in my mom's garden and I worked there, planting, uprooting, re-planting...Scratched up my arms alot in the process. And covered myself in mud. I really hate laboratory sciences.
