Thiefshipping! Omg where did this come from?!

This is in the Abridged-verse, btw. Based off of Marik Plays Bloodlines.

Disclaimer: I don't own YuGiOh or YGOTAS. Nor do I own Hips Don't Lie by Shakira. I'm not making any money. Nuff said.

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Hips Don't Lie

"Iiiii'm on tonight, you know my hips don't lie da duh-da duh-da duh daaaaaaaa!"

Bakura pinched the bridge of his nose when he heard his roommate wailing utter nonsense. Now nonsense and Marik went hand in hand, but he had been playing the same song for four fucking hours.

Closing the window he was looking at on the computer (of course is wasn't gay porn, what gave you that idea?) he made his way to the living room. What little furniture they had was pushed up against the walls, Shakira's voice blaring from the speakers, but it wasn't any of that that made Bakura stop in his track and nearly have a heart attack.

Marik was dressed more skantily than usual - and that was saying something - in what appeared to be a belly dancer outfit. It was lavender in color, and the top exposed even more of Marik's midriff than his purple top and the bottom hung low on his hips. Bakura growled. One of these days he was sure he was going to kill Marik Ishtar.

"Marik," the former thief called. When the only response he received was more wailing and shimmying, he shouted, "MARIK!"

Marik turned around, smiling brightly. "Join me, Bakura!"

"Marik, turn the music off," Bakura demanded.

"What?" Marik asked.

"I said TURN THE BLOODY-" he stopped when he realized Marik had done as he had asked.

"I couldn't hear you over the music," Marik stated. Bakura ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "What did you need, Bakura?"

Bakura sighed. "Marik, what the bloody hell are you doing?"

Marik looked at his outfit, as if just seeing it for the first time. "Oh, this?" Marik said. "I'm simply preparing myself, Bakura!"

"For what? Are you auditioning for a Bollywood movie?"

"This is far greater than Bollywood, Fluffy!" Marik declared, ignoring Bakura's glare at his nickname. "I am preparing myself for the return of the demonic Shakira!"

There was a long silence that loomed in the air. Bakura finally spoke, his patience extremely thin at this point. "Are you talking about the video game you played a while back?"

"Yes!" Marik yelled triumphantly. "And when she returns we shall have a dance off the likes of which this world has never seen!"

"Marik that was a video game," Bakura explained. "It wasn't real."

"Slenderman is real," Marik whined. "He's our neighbor. He stalks us regularly. And I'm pretty sure he ate Mr. Tweetums!"

Bakura opened his mouth to retort, but found that Marik did actually have point. He sighed, looking Marik over again. He growled in his throat, wishing he could do so many things right now. So many delicious, inappropriate, satisfying, horrible things.

An idea struck him. "In that case," he said with a smirk, "I'll go get the camera."

Marik looked confused at first before laughing. "Great idea, Bakura! We can make an instructional video with a subliminal message saying 'Kill the Pharoah'!" He cackled madly.

Bakura was certain the message would end up saying "Kill Your Family" but figured it didn't really matter since this "instructional video" was going into his private collection, never to be seen by anyone but himself. He could definitely say Marik's hips did not lie.

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What's wrong with me?