Chapter 11 ~ Trying to Forget

Bella POV

I was speechless. Utterly speechless. What had just happened? Did that fight even make any sense? What had I done?

A million thoughts went through my head, but were stopped by the familiar tone of Taylor Swift singing again.

"Hey," I answered, though my voice was a little rusty from the argument. I wiped away the few remaining tears from my cheeks and eyes away.

"Bella, finally! I've been calling you all day!" Alice moaned.

"Sorry, I've been… out," I replied.

"Don't worry. Work is more important," Alice commented.

"No, not work exactly…"

"Fun day off? Did you go sightseeing? What about Edward? I haven't spoken to him all weekend. Eek, man I better do that- is he there?" Alice asked, all too quickly for my brain to take it all in.

"Err… no he's out," I replied honestly.

"Oh, well do you know when he's going to be back?"

I leant against the wall and ran a hand through the front of my hair. "No," I answered honestly.

"Oh, okay. Bella are you alright?" Alice asked, sounding honestly worried.

"Yeah, yeah- I'm fine," I lied badly.

"Spill." Obviously Alice had seen the lie too.

"We… we had a disagreement." I shrugged my shoulders, though Alice couldn't see that.

"About what?!" Alice sounded shocked.

"Er… stuff." I sighed. "Guess we just learnt we are more different that I thought." I tried to hide how much it hurt, from my voice.

"What do you mean?" I could hear Alice's confusion.

"I don't know, ask your brother." I spoke more sharply then necessary.

"Alright… I will," Alice replied.

"Good." I bit down hard on my bottom lip, out of habit. "Because I have no idea why the heck he's acting like this!"

"Well, something surely must have spurred it off?"

"Well… I found a Star Trek game that he bought yesterday for us to play, but he instantly hid it when I kind of accidentally told him how much I hated it… Then, he just went all weird, like something had finally cracked in him, but I don't know what." I had seen the light bulb go off in his head during the argument, but what had he realised?! "Then… it got way out of hand and I called him a geek and he stormed out…" I knew there was no point in telling Alice about the kiss; that had nothing to with the argument, I was sure. It also would have meant that I would have had to tell Alice about my feelings, and I definitely didn't want to do that yet- not without giving Bob's plan a go first.

"Oh dear." Alice sighed. "That does sound weird, and so unlike Eddie! Do you want me to phone him?"

"Maybe, if you wait until we get back tonight… I want to speak to him first," I decided.

"Sure thing. I can't wait to see you Bella! I have some big news!" Alice sounded back to her old self again- too high pitched for me to hear her properly. It made me laugh in contentment; at least something was normal.

"Great! I'll look forward to it!" I replied, honestly looking forward to more normality- this weekend had been a complete whirlwind of complicatedness.

"Okay, I'll leave you to pack then Bells," Alice said.

I mentally laughed; all I'd unpacked was the clothes I wore this weekend, which had all gone back into the suitcase at the end of each day- meaning no packing for me now. "Thanks bye, I'll meet you at the airport right?"

"Yeah, lands at 9pm right?" Alice checked.

"Sure does, bye!" I looked down at my watch as I closed my phone to see it being already 4, and the plane was supposed to leave at half 8, with us being there 2 hours early. How had today gone so quick?

I decided that Edward wasn't the only one who needed to eat, so grabbed some left over salad and chicken and made a small meal out of it. I brought it over to the sofa and sat to watch some TV. At this time of night, only soaps were on so I clicked to the movie night- which was another Star Trek movie. I decided to give it a go; maybe I'd like it?

A few minutes later, there was a light knock on the door, which caused me to jump. Was it Edward? But why would he knock?!

I turned off the TV, walked over towards the door, and gave out a little sigh of relief when Bob was standing there- not Edward.

"Bob." I smiled brightly at him.

"Hey Bella." But Bob looked nervous and was fidgeting loads.

"What's up?" I asked, suddenly concerned.

"Umm, can I come in? I saw Edward on the way in, so I guess you're alone?" Bob asked.

"Yeah, huh sure." I moved a little to let him in. "Sit down please." I closed the door then followed Bob to the sofas. I noticed how Bob sat on the edge of his, still playing with his hands.

"Bella, I need to be honest with you." Bob sighed.

My heart beat splattered radically. "What with?"

"The conversations… I.. I wasn't just being friendly with you." Bob turned his gaze to look up towards me.

What did that mean? Had he told the press? Crap, no, he couldn't have! "What do you mean?!"

"Alice." Bob sighed, as I pulled him a confused expression. "Jasper, my friend, knew about me being your bodyguard this weekend, and told Alice I guess. Who then made me try to get as much about how much you liked Edward out of you as possible, then report straight back to her or Jasper. I owed Jasper big time, so had no choice. But I had to tell you Bella… I feel so bad. But Alice said you and her were best friends and that you wouldn't mind?"

I sighed in relief. Then let the anger hit me. "It's okay Bob. I am just going to need some words with Alice, that's all!" I gritted my teeth hard.

"Please, don't be too harsh! I promised her I wouldn't tell you and… and really she's doing it for the good… She really wants you and Edward to be together." Bob shrugged his shoulders. "And now I kind of do, after this weekend."

"Bob, that isn't going to happen! You and Alice have no right to invade my private life! What happens between me and Edward is none of anyone's business! And I'll tell you now! Nothing is ever going to happen between me and him!" I angrily shouted, while standing up. I didn't know if it was the anger from the argument earlier or not, stirring me to get so worked up.

"I'm sorry Bella," Bob said sincerely.

"Yeah, me too." I sighed, falling back onto the sofa again.

"I'll leave now, I just felt so bad not telling you, I had to say something," Bob said, standing up.

"Just, don't worry. I really do appreciate you telling me though. I know you and Alice did it in good faith and all.. It's just pointless now," I replied.

Bob took a big breath in. "Ahh, I don't think it is Miss Swan. I think one day… you and Edward are going to get together whether you like it or not. It'll, just happen. A simple kiss, or something more. It'll happen." Only if Bob knew that it had already happened.

I bit down on my lip again. "Thanks for everything Bob, I'll see you soon."

"Bye Bella." Bob smirked, before walking out of the door and closing it behind him.

I leant backwards onto the sofa and closed my eyes for a while, trying to think of anything but him.

***

"Bella! Bella wake up!" A voice of velvet awakened me from an unpleasant dream.

"Err, what?" How the heck had I fallen asleep? I bolted straight upwards. "Crap! What's the time?"

Edward laughed, though it was filled with no humour. "You have half an hour, until we have to go- it's fine."

I let out a big sigh, before getting up from the sofa to go pack away my toiletries and anything else which needed packing. Edward did the exact same thing. We both packed in a very awkward and heart-wrenching silence. I tried to think of things to say- anything. But nothing appropriate seemed to enter my head; God knows what the plane journey was going to be like.

The only thing which did break the silence, was Edwards mobile ringing, informing us that the chauffer was downstairs and outside waiting for us.

"You packed up?" Edward asked, not looking me in the eyes, as he brought his one suitcase to the door.

"Yup," I replied, walking with my suitcase towards him and the door.

Edward nodded once, before opening the hotel door up and exiting the door.

***

During the whole plane ride, I just wanted to say sorry about calling Edward a geek, and that I really did not mean it; because I didn't. I regretted the damn word as soon as it came out of my mouth. Edward wasn't a geek. He was a sweet, caring, handsome man. Which were exactly the reasons to why I needed to stay away from him, like he said, just a boss and employee relationship; like I'd agreed with Bob this morning.

"Bella." Edward's husky voice made me jump in my seat. Edward still just looked straight out of his window, like he was in a different universe. I saw pain on his face, but what kind of pain? And what for? Was he scared he'd lost his job?

"Edward, you haven't lost your job. Like you said you need the money. And even if you do hate working for me; you're actually really good at it, so I need you. That's if you want to stay.." I mumbled the last bit.

Edward ducked his head, making the sunlight from the window make his bronze hair glow and sparkle. Why did he have to look so gorgeous when I was trying not to like him!? "Thank you Bella, I appreciate it. I… I just wanted to say that earlier I was out of order. I don't hate working for you. I hated working for Lauren, not you. And you're wrong, I did like getting to know you this weekend, I really did enjoy myself, except the last bit I guess. I..I..I just…" But Edward couldn't finish his sentence.

"Just?" I prodded on.

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I just got confused, that's all." Yeah join the club mate. My whole world had been turned upside down since the moment I'd met Edward. I felt things, things in which I'd never felt before. Things which confused me so much. But I knew it was better not to even try to react to these feelings, as I just couldn't deal with getting my heart broken again so easily. I wasn't ready to put myself on the line, which was why I needed to stop liking Edward. Jeez. It felt like I was constantly repeating that same line to myself every second.

"Okay, so back to boss and employee, now?" I asked.

"If that's what you want, then yes." Edward looked up at me and licked his top lip.

"Yes," I said firmly, not what I wanted but what I needed. Edward had obviously made it clear that the kiss was a mistake and that he had no feelings for me whatsoever, which I was more then fine about. Well that was a lie, but I'd soon make it the truth.

***

We landed at 9 sharp, soon greeted with more paps, but it was enough to be able to handle. Alice greeted us at the arrivals in the airport, where she gave me an extra tight hug, with luckily no paps to ruin the moment. Though now that Alice knew about my feelings for Edward, I had to talk to her… and before she talked with Edward.

"Alice, err you mind coming round mine, like now?" I asked, giving her a fake smile which only she could see.

"Umm… why?" she asked suspiciously.

"Because I need to talk to you- and hear your news." I gave her a sly wink, though Edward was to far in front to hear us anyway.

"Can't that wait until tomorrow Bell's?" She then dragged me off to the side to whisper to me. "Bella I need to talk to him first!"

"No. I need to talk to you first! Alice how could you?! Bob told me everything!" I loudly whispered at her.

"Aww crap. Bella I'm sorry, I just needed to know-"

"No! Leave the excuses to later, I have to talk to you first. I'm in such a big mess!" I sighed.

"Okay, I'll come round to yours with you now. We will sort this out Bella," Alice promised. "Hey Edward!" Alice shouted to Edward, who spun around quickly, but was on his phone. It looked like he quickly said goodbye and turned it off.

"Everything okay?" Edward asked, when we had caught up to him, the question was obviously directed only at Alice.

"Yeah, it's good. I'm just going round Bella's for a bit- is that okay?" Alice smiled brightly at him.

"Sure, I've just made plans to go see Tanya." Edward smiled back. I tried to ignore the heart ache as he said her name; some how this weekend I'd almost forgotten about him and her. I had to remind myself that it was for the best, just another building block to help me not like him anymore, right?

"Oh, okay." Alice's face quickly changed to sadness, but she smiled again brightly when Edward gave her a confused look. "I'll see you later I guess, here take my keys- me and Bella will grab a taxi." Alice handed him a load full of keys.

"Already booked it." I nodded, looking anywhere but at Edward.

"Great, bye then." And with that Edward had turned around and was gone, again it felt like a piece of my heart had gone with him, leaving a sore, aching hole- but I tried to ignore that.

***

"Shoot! Fast!" Alice exclaimed, as soon as we sat down on my leather sofa.

"Where do I start?" I mumbled.

"Well, at the beginning?" Alice shrugged her shoulders.

So I did. I told her everything about the weekend, about my emotions to every small thing he did and how great he made me feel. I told her about sleeping on the sofa with him, him making me dinner, the pool fun and most importantly the kiss. Then about the argument, and the chat on the plane ride home; and how now I couldn't feel more confused.

"Bella, he obviously likes you! You have to go get him!" Alice nearly shouted, in a high squealed pitch.

"No! Alice I've made up my decision." I let out a sigh. "I'm… going to try and not like him anymore. Don't look at me like that! I know that sounds daft and stupid. But it's my only option. Everything with him, is so, so complicated! He's my assistant and it is going to stay like that! He doesn't like me Alice, he said it himself! And… and with James… I just can't trust a guy like that again anyway."

"Bella, what happened with James? It couldn't have been just a simple break up for you to still feel like this?" Alice asked.

"There's a thing called a simple break up?" I half heartedly laughed. "No with James… things just got tricky." I wasn't ready to tell Alice that yet, the truth, she gave me another confused look; but soon saw in my facial expressions that it was a topic I didn't want to talk about, so gave up. "I need simple right now.." I let out a tiny scream when something in my back pocket started to sing, then did I realise it was my phone. I looked to see it was Jacob. "Simple… like Jacob?"

"That guy you met?" Alice asked, giving me a confused look.

I nodded, before answering my mobile. "Hey Jake." I tried to say as enthusiastic as possible.

"Bella! You're back then?" I could almost see Jake's smile.

"Yeah, yeah it was good thanks." I could see Alice pulling both her eyebrows up at me.

"Great. So now you're back, are you free to go out sometime?" Jake asked, sounding a bit too hopeful.

"Go out some time.." I said for the benefit of Alice. She looked down for a second, in thought before looking back up at me and shrugging her shoulders while lightly nodding her head. Not the usual Alice full 'go do it!', but it was good enough for me. "Sure, yeah." Alice gave me a timid smile back.

"Great! I'm pretty hectic this week, so the earliest I can do is Thursday, is that okay?"

"Sure, that's fine," I replied.

"Great, well I'm going to have to text you the details nearer the time as I really have to go, I'm sorry Bella. Bye!"

"Bye!" I said, before hanging up.

"Well?" Alice asked, as I put my phone back in my pocket.

"A guy who can maybe turn my feelings off for Edward? It's worth a try right?" I pleaded.

"Err… if you say so. I guess Edward has Tanya…" Alice trailed off, like she was annoyed with something.

"Alice." I sighed. "Me and Edward, we just aren't going to be. I've learnt that now; and maybe it's for the best. The press would be on him like leeches other wise…" I shrugged my shoulders, though Alice was still staring at the floor.

She just lightly nodded her head again.

"So what about your big news?!" I asked maybe too enthusiastically, but so desperately wanting to change the subject.

It seemed to work, as Alice's eyes had that little bit of shine back in them. "Mine and Jasper's date, went swimmingly well! So well, that we had another last night!"

"Wow Alice, that's great!" I commented, honestly happy for her.

"I know! Oh Bella, he's perfect. You have to meet him… again! You'd love him too!" Alice seemed to shine head to toe, while talking about Jasper. It hurt a little.

"I will! Honest. Now I'm really sorry Al, but I've got a bit of jet lag, and kind of need to get some sleep for tomorrow, is that okay? I have way too many meetings." I sighed at the thought. How awkward would tomorrow be with Edward? Would we be barely talking again? I know we made up and all… but did that really make much difference? I knew tonight I would have a hard time sleeping with all those thoughts flying around in my head.

"Sure! But Oh man, I have to help you get ready for your date with Jake!" At least Alice seemed happier about me dating Jake now. I tried to hold the same enthusiasm.

"Yuh-huh great!" I lied, while walking with her towards the door. "Bye Al, see you tomorrow, and hey, thanks a lot."

"No problem Bells, I just hope that you've made the right decision." Before I could even respond to that Alice was out of the door, and walking down the street. I presumed our apartments must have been close together for her to walk.


A/N: see, quick update! But I apologise that not much happened in it and it was pretty boring :/ the next chapter IS better (: honest!

And Bella's date with Jacob might not be an actual bad thing (;, you'll see why (:

London was amazing btw (: Got a pic with rpatz at madame tussards ( a was rpatz btw guys :L ) it's my ff profile pic (:

I'll update asap as long as you review! (: and Waterpaw hope you like the quick update (; involving no killing :D

Pleaseee review! Laura x