Sonic Syndrome
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.
In this chapter, MSX takes Sonic and Co. to his school where only the tards survive. I am serious when I say I go to a special education school. And I do ride the short bus to school. Anyways, here's episode number eleven!!
Episode 11
Welcome To Special Ed
Sonic - What did I tell you!? Something bad happened!
Narrator - After fixing the world, MSX and the gang are in a meeting in the living to figure out what to do with Tails.
Shadow - Any ideas?
Amy - He made the world blow up by running out of puns.
MSX - I say lifetime exile!
Sonic - I say lifetime beatings!
God - I say eternal damnation!
Cream - I say we skin him and hang him in the town square for all to see!
(Everyone slowly looks to Cream.)
MSX - I hate to say it, but I like you now.
Tails - I'm back!
MSX - Just in time for a lifetime of exile and beatings followed by being skinned and hung to dry before your eternal damnation!
Tails - Right… So, I felt sorry about blowing the world up. So I went online and printed two pages of an apology.
MSX - Two pages…
Tails - Actually, it's two hundred…
MSX - Warmer…
Tails - …thousand…
MSX - There ya go!
Tails - …pages of…
Shadow - An apology. You told us.
Tails - Actually, I lied. It's two hundred thousand pages… -turns bundle of paper around- …of more puns!
(A long silence follows.)
God - Blasphemy, says I!
MSX - Take this! -snaps magic fingers and burns pages into nothing-
Tails - I figured you'd do that. So I printed of several hundred copies just to be safe.
Tikal - How many trees did you kill to make those?!
Tails - Actually…
TV Reporter - And in other news today, there seems to be a worldwide shortage of Chao…
(Everyone slowly turns to Tails.)
Tails - They make great paper. -smiles innocently-
Shadow - That's it!
(Tails quickly dashes onto a stool and began dancing like a white person who lives in the 60s as Shadow dashed up.)
Random Text - Basic Pun
Tails - Why you acting all shady all of a sudden?
(Shadow falls backwards, but jumps to his feet.)
Random Text - 20 damage! Shadow changes weapon to… whip!
(Shadow pulls a whip out of nowhere.)
Random Text - Power Pun
Tails - Looks like you're gonna… WHIP me into shape!
(Shadow clutches his chest and falls to the ground.)
Random Text - It's super-effective! Your party has died!
(Tails jumped off of the stool and did a victory pose as a random fanfare plays in the background.)
Sonic - Do you ride the short bus to school or something? Honestly! Why the Chao?!
MSX -Watch it! I ride the short bus to school!
(Everyone turns to look at MSX.)
MSX - I'm serious. Oh, look! There it is!
(A short bus pulls up. Suddenly, the group appears in the bus.)
Bus Driver - Weird…
(The bus begins driving off when some short kid in the back begins yakking.)
Short Kid - Yakyakyak! Themostannoyingkidinthewholeschoolgraduatedlastyear… SoI'mheretotakehisplace! Yakyakyak! Blahblahblah! Allthistalkingisdeprivingmybrainofoxygenbutidon'tcare! Igotstufftosayandyouregonnalisten! Yakkityyakblahblahyak!
(MSX stands up and points shotgun at kid.)
MSX - Silence, shorty!
(A bummed-out kid gets on.)
Bummed-Out Kid - Hi, MSX.
MSX - Don't talk to me.
Bummed-Out Kid - But, we're friends.
MSX - No, we're not!
Bummed-Out Kid - Says who?
God - Says I!
Bummed-Out Kid - Oh… I'm so…
MSX - Pathetic? That you are!
(The bus arrives at the school.)
MSX - Here we are!
Sonic - You took us to school?
MSX - For one day only though. I've got an indefinite author's leave.
Tikal - Sure…
(Ten minutes go by before the kids are allowed off of the buses and into the school.)
Shadow - -gasping- Thank… God… Too much… bus in… system!
Tails - I guess we got bus-ted!
MSX - Come on and I'll ignore that pun!
(The group walks into a classroom where a Sega Genesis is hooked up.)
Amy - You've got a Sega here?
MSX - It may be sped, but this school rocks! More so than last year!
Tikal - How so?
-Flashback-
(The setting is computer class. Everyone stands for the Pledge of Allegiance except MSX.)
Kinetikai - Why aren't you standing?
(The American flag flips into the wall and the Nazi flag pops out.)
Teacher - I pledge allegiance to Heil Hitler of the united states of Germany! And to the republic where no one is spared, one nation, under Hitler, executable, with liberty and justice for none!
(The Nazi flag flips into the wall and the American one pops out again.)
Kinetikai - Oh…
MSX - I refuse to take part in anything un-American.
-End Flashback-
MSX - No comment.
Sonic - What? A computer teacher that acts like Hitler? Sounds familiar…
MSX - You met him when I first met you guys.
Amy - We did?
-Flashback-
Teacher - For next assignment, you draw picture!
(The teacher picks up a baseball bat and walks over to Cream's seat.)
Teacher - What are you making?
Cream - A… smiley man…
Teacher - Hmmm… It's good.
Cream - Really?
Teacher - Yes, but he needs to be sad! -hits picture with baseball bat several times- There! Now he is sad. Carry on!
-End Flashback-
Cream - I remember that! That meanie!
Tails - Anything else that we should know about?
(Ninja music starts playing.)
MSX - Well…
(Big walks in and waves as someone drops from the ceiling, snaps his neck, looks around, and begins running down the hallway walls.
MSX - My friend is obsessed with ninjas. He's stayed here even though he graduated last year. I don't know why…
Teacher - Class is about to begin.
MSX - Goody…
(Everyone sits down and MSX's ninja friend pops back in.)
Ninja Friend - Ninja stealth kill!
(The ninja friend throws a saltine cracker at Cheese, who is pinned to the wall by it. He brings out more saltines and makes Cheese a bloody spot on the wall before disappearing in the typical ninja way.)
Ninja Friend - Ninja stealth escape!
(He throws a capsule at the ground, but it explodes and he flies through the wall.)
Ninja Friend - Wrong… capsule…
MSX - That's Lord T.
Amy - Lord T?
MSX - I'd rather not use his name.
(A hour passes by before MSX leaves the room. The group follows him.)
MSX - I'm waiting for the bus to my secondary school.
Cream - Really?
(Lord T breaks through the floor and cuts Cream into little chunks with a ruler before disappearing using another exploding capsule.)
MSX - Yes.
(The bus comes and the group just gapes at the fact that there's nowhere to sit.)
Shadow - There's nowhere to sit!
MSX - Pansies!
(Everyone looks up to the ceiling where MSX is magnetically attached to it.)
MSX - Improvise!
(Once at MSX's other school, everybody takes there seats, but 'Eyes To The Front, Please' pops on the screens of every computer.)
Tikal - What the crap?!
(Lord T pops out of the monitor, stabs Amy in the head with a protractor and retreats into the monitor.)
Tikal - I repeat: What the crap?!
(After having fun at MSX's secondary school, the group returns to first school where Knuckles walks into the 'barely visible noose' and is hung.)
Sonic - What happened to Knuckles?
Shadow - Who cares?
Tikal - -looks around nervously-
(Back in class, everyone goes on the computers until Lord T pops out the floor and pulls Shadow into secret underground passage where he is slicing in half by a yardstick.)
Sonic - What happened to Shadow?
Tails - Who cares?
Tikal - -looks around nervously-
(On the way to the 5th hour class, Lord T busts through a door and drags Tails into a science lab where he strangles him to death.)
Sonic - What happened to Tails?
MSX - Who cares?
Tikal - -looks around nervously- Wait! Who cares about Tails?
MSX - -enters Spanish class and speaks in Spanish-
Spanish Teacher - What?
Tails - That's what I want to know.
(Sonic turns to Tails.)
Sonic - I thought Lord T killed you. -gets hit with large block of plaster- Ow! What's that?
MSX - The fourth wall. And look… -rips it in half- You broke it. Lord T!
(Lord T is suddenly sitting in the desk at the front of the class.)
MSX - If you will…
Lord T - -snores-
MSX - Apparently, being a ninja…
Lord T - -suddenly sits up- Ninja!
(Lord T throws a textbook in a random direction and it nails the teacher in the head.)
MSX - You didn't kill him.
Lord T - Sometimes, ninja kills very stretched out and painful. He will die of brain damage in a week. -throws another exploding capsule at ground-
MSX - Right… -chuckles- Argentine Santa Claus…
Sonic - What?
MSX - Last year, my teacher had this giant soccer ball that I'd carry over my back like Santa's sack o' toys.
Tails - Right…
(School ends and Lord T pushes Sonic into the hall.)
Sonic - What was that for?
(Sonic is then trampled by a stampede of kids.)
Sonic - Ouch…
Lord T - I have failed! I must return to the temple of honor and beg my ancestors for forgiveness!
MSX - Allow me.
(MSX throws a capsule and he disappears in another explosion.)
Tails - You blew him up?
MSX - No, I teleported him with my author powers. I just wanted to destroy something. Come, Sonic!
Sonic - -moaning-
Tails - I swear this place is like Alcatraz…
(The group walk outside and they find themselves on an Alcatraz-like island.)
Tails - That pun disgusts even me.
(A shotgun cocks.)
Evil Lady - We wouldn't be leaving now, wouldn't we?
MSX - You're just like Mr. Hankey, ya know?
Evil Lady - How so?
(MSX seals the door just as the evil lady yells 'Son of a…'.)
MSX - Hey, look!
(Lord T is running across the water when a shark jumps out and eats him.)
MSX - That sucks.
Lord T - I know.
(Everyone turns to Lord T, who is perfectly fine and is holding a dead shark.)
MSX - Right… Oh, wait! Here comes the hoverbus! Come on, Sonic!
(MSX grabs Sonic and hops onto the bus as it drives by, leaving Tails behind.)
Tails - Um… Hi…
Lord T - Hi.
(Moments pass before Lord T beats Tails to death with the shark.)
Tails - Wow! Those lone sharks really hurt!
(The bus suddenly lands and begins driving down the road. Suddenly, Lord T reaches through the bus' underside and grabs Sonic's legs. He then pulls him through the floor and throws him onto the street where he rolls away from the bus and gets hit by a truck. MSX gets off on his stop and enters the house.)
MSX - Home, sweet home. Right, guys? Guys? -notices that no one's there- What the crap…
(Lord T pops out of the sofa and lands next to MSX.)
MSX - I'm sorry, Lord T. But I can't have you in any more chapters if you're going to kill every… -gets his neck snapped-
Lord T - Ninja Gaiden! -disappears in a puff of smoke-
In the next chapter, MSX makes a deal with the group and everyone gets their own TV show. Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!!
