So I had an extremely hard time with this chapter, it was horrible, and I'm afraid that it shows in the beginning of the chapter, though I was able to get more into it in the end. I want to say thank you to anyone who favs and reviews I love hearing what you guys say and it makes me want to keep going. I appreciate it more that you guys will ever know. As always let me know what you all think. Oh, and within the next two or three chapters things will start to get darker, so I'm warning you all now. The next one may be a little dark to, but more than likely towards the end.

winterschild11: Thank you for the comment, and I totally agree, I love scary movies, but I cover my eyes through the entire thing…..

Isitalovesbtr: Thank you! Merry belated Christmas! But thank you, that means a lot and I will continue because your reviews always make me smile

'Hi, are you home? ' I read after I receive a text from Logan. I know I shouldn't text and drive but really, I do it all the time. Damn, my mom would kill me if she knew. I take one more glance at the road before I tap the screen to reply.

'No but I'm on my way.' I press send and look back out at the dark road, returning my phone to the spot between my legs, resting on the seat. I hate how dark it gets so fast. You know another thing I hate? School…it sucks dick.

It vibrates again and Logan reply is, 'I know, we are at your house watching TV with your mamma.' Oh, lovely just what I need, my friends harassing my poor mother.

I run a hand over my stomach as it grumbles in protest for the lack of attention it has gotten today. 'Does she had dinner?' I send it and replace my phone once more to its resting spot. I turn up the radio and sing along to Marry You by Bruno Mars, great song! If only we could all live that way.

I pull into my drive way a few moments later just as I receive the next text from Logan. I pull into my parking spot in my driveway and grab my phone as I unwrap my seat belt, letting it slap against the interior of my truck, 'yup, she HAD! …Carlos is with us.'

I grumble as I exit the truck and walk up through the garage to get into the house. As soon as I close the door behind me I slip off my shoes and truck up the few stairs into the kitchen seeing James, Logan, Carlos, and Katie sitting at the table.

"Hi, guys." I say as I wander over to James and kiss his cheek. Did I mention that in the last week things have gotten good? Well, they have! And no, we haven't gone past a few make out sessions in my bedroom.

They all reply with some sort of acknowledgement as they continue eating. I look down at James' plate and see that they all have Mac and Cheese. I reach across the table and tip the bowl that it had been seeing that it had already been scraped clean, "Fucking pigs! I love this shit and you know it!" I say getting pissy since the food is gone and I decided I didn't want to eat at school today.

"I told you that your mom had dinner. Then I even told you that Carlos was here." I glare at the Latino boy that is sitting and chatting with my little sister.

He turns and looks at me with the mention of his name and gave me an innocent look, "Sorry, we were hungry to."

"Yeah, but my mom shouldn't have to feed you idiots!" I say gesturing to the other three males, "She is only obligated to feed her real children," I motion between myself and Katie before continuing, "Which includes me and Katie."

She smacks Carlos' shoulder and stick out her tongue saying, "Yeah, and now you have pissed him off."

He returns the gesture and says, "Nope, he loves me."

"Yeah, keep tellin yourself that." She counters before taking the last bite of her dinner.

James pulls me into his lap and wraps one arm around my waist, resting his hand on my hip, and I look around the room, noticing that mom isn't around; she doesn't know about us yet, oops, "Yeah, but you're dating this idiot, so she should have to feed me to." He says quietly so just I can hear.

I roll my eyes with a smile, letting my anger go now that James is holding me, I'm kind of a sucker for him, "Yeah, yeah, whatever." I pick up his fork, seeing that he has a little bit left on his plate and I silently ask if I can have the rest and he nods.

"Go ahead, babe, I'm all done." He rubs his stomach as I take a few bites, my stomach grumbles an appreciation.

I feel him nuzzle my neck as I swallow and ask, "So, where is mom?"

Katie, who does know about us, obviously, sneaky girl caught us in the act, jumped off her stool and wandered around the counter towards the living room and sat down on the couch pulling her knees to her and answered while looking at the TV, "She's in her room, and you two are gonna get caught, and when you do, I'm going to laugh." She couldn't help but smirk at the end of the sentence.

"Yeah, I know you will. But we can't hide it for forever." I reply as I turn and kiss James gently on the lips and I smile into it when I feel him tighten his grip on my hip.

"So, you're going to tell her?" Logan asks while taking Carlos' hands and leading him to the love seat in the living room to watch TV with Katie.

"Eh, eventually," I say as I lean against James' chest and lean my head on his shoulder, causing him once again to hold on to me tight, and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't love how tight he holds me, even if it does sometimes leave bruises, especially when he is on top of me in my bed and he gets a little carried away.

"Hey, do you remember this?" I ask as I am flipping through my channels, finally settling on one when I see Hey Arnold. I'm curled up next to James on the bed; leaving Logan and Carlos on the mattress to the left of my bed, on the floor, with the lights already out.

I'm pretty sure that they both fell asleep long ago 'cause I haven't heard a peep from them in more than five minutes. I can feel James' voice rumble through his chest as he speaks, drowning out his steady heartbeat, "Yeah," He laughs gently, "I remember this when I was a kid, when we all went to the baby sitter still."

I smile at the memory, remembering all of us, five years old, going to Darcy's house. They are all good memories, and we have been friends ever since, going to school together and growing up to be best friends, and oddly enough, growing closer into couples. I think back on one time, we were playing truth or dare and we dared Carlos to run around a tree in the front yard with his pants down, and he did it. I shake my head as I smile and reply, "Yeah, I know. You know, I miss those days sometimes. When everything was so easy, and all we had to do was wake up and go to the house down the street where we were taken care of. Our worst worry was being last to be served at lunch."

I feel my eyes begin to get heavy and I know that James is tired too, he said that he had been up super early this morning and wasn't able to go back to sleep this morning. I don't get a response from James and I know that he has fallen asleep, his breath becoming soft and even, and I'm suddenly pulled into unconsciousness.

"Mm, mga, James," My speech has been completely altered since James started nipping across my collar bone, his hands sliding smoothly up and down my bare sides. I have my arms wrapped around his neck, hands resting on his shoulder blade. He bites down again and it pulls a deep moan from me as I bite down on my bottom lip, hard, trying to lock in the not-so-innocent sounds he is dragging out of me.

"Hmm, Kendall?" He mumbles against the skin on my shoulder, and I can hear and feel the smile on his lips. I throw my head back and allow him full access to my neck, and just as I'm about to speak he bites down on the right side of my neck, harder than necessary, but I'd be lying if I didn't think that it was fucking hot.

He pulls away and I'm now able to speak, even if it isn't the most put together sentence, "Oh, my God, James, your so fucking good."

"Oh, really?" He teases and I just nod my head as he licks his way from the base of my neck up to my ear, "Cause we're just getting started, babe."

I bite my lip, grip onto his bare skin, and my heart starts to beat erratically in my chest. Fuck, does he mean what I think he means, is this going to go farther. Oh, my god, I don't know if I'm ready for this. I mean, yeah, I thought I was ready, cause I had been dreaming about this to come for years now, but I never thought, once again, that anything like this would happen. I really am not ready for this, not ri- my thoughts are cut off when James pushes his thigh against my hardening cock. I push my hips up as he pulls away slightly and he laughs into the crook of my neck.

"Do you want me, Kendall?" His voice is deeper with more rasp than usual, and fuck do I ever want to say, 'Yes, take me right here and now.' And God damn the way he says my name is the best thing I've ever heard. I tangle my fingers in his hair and arch my back trying to press my body closer to his; wanting his skin against mine.

I resist the urge to lift my right leg, which is resting between his and give him the pleasure he just gave me. I nod and he bites down on my shoulder and I know that I'm going to have marks in the morning, if I don't already. "Ah, James." I start as he drags his teethe against my sensitive skin, and I can feel him heading south, I don't want to stop him! But I know that it's my body talking, not my heart, because my heart isn't ready for this. Yes, I love James, I haven't told him yet, and he hasn't told me, and I'm fully committed to him, but this is my virginity and I'm not ready to just give it away yet. I want James to earn it; I want him to prove to me that I'm the only one, and that he isn't going to hit it and quit it like he has to so many other people.

So as James is kissing down the center of my chest I bring my hands around to cup his chin and my heart stops when he looks up at me through his bangs, fuck he is beautiful. I sit up and bring him with me before I crash our lips together so hard that I feel his teeth on my skin. I moan into his mouth as I begin kissing him with everything I have, wanting to show him how much I want him before I tell him that I can't.

I pull away but he chases my lips and catches me in another kiss that is just as forceful as mine, and it takes my breath away. I move my hands down his bare sides and I bring my leg up so that my thigh is resting against his hip and I want to keep going, pull him closer, and never stop what we have going. The way our lips move together creating the beat, our roaming hands and pressing hips creating the music notes, and our moans creating the harmony; all of it is just beyond perfect and I'm scared to stop it, not knowing how he will react.

I pull away once more but this time I press my finger to his lips to stop him from coming back on to me, "James, I want you so bad." I whisper, and it's barely audible since I still haven't regained the breath the he has stolen from me. He runs his hand up my arm and holds onto my wrist, trying to pull it away from his swollen lips, and they look so perfect this way, and he leans towards me again, and I hesitantly lean away, "But I can't do this, not yet, I can't go this far." This time my voice is stronger, and I'm able to just say what I want.

He leans away from me and pulls his hands off of my body, and I'm immediately assaulted by the cold that is replacing his touch, and I almost whimper from the loss. He stares at me for a moment, his eyes going from love and lust to something that I can't quite decipher, "Kendall," He stops and looks around the room, clearly at a loss of words, and to be quite honest, I don't have any words either.

We sit in an awkward silence and my mind won't stop; Fuck, I just fucked everything up and now James is going to leave and he isn't going to come back and our friendship is ruined all because I couldn't be what he wanted. I'm never good enough for any one and the one person I have always wanted is sitting right in front of me and wants all of me and I won't give it to him. I can't give it to him because he has gotten it from everyone he wants. "James," and that's all I got.

I lean back against the shelving that makes up my head board and throw my head back and I can feel the sweat that had settled on my skin become sticky as it dries, eww. I don't move when I feel him pull his legs to himself and moves away from me completely and I think that he is about to leave, just like I had been expecting him to the second that I really denied him. I'm preparing myself for when he gets off the bed and moves to the door and never looks back again, but it never comes.

I want to look up so bad, but I don't allow myself as I feel him move on the bed and suddenly he wraps his right arm around my neck and pulls me to him and I rest my forehead on his shoulder as he rests his left hand on my hip, just holding me. I want to pull away because this can't be happening, this is the exact opposite of what was supposed to happen.