A/N:
Thanks for all those reviews and the exchange of thoughts. I really do appriciate that and it helps me to sort out some difficulties or mistakes I made drawing up the plot. This chapter is...twisted, but it's twisted on a purpose and I hope I could make the reason at least a little clear. enjoy =)

Chapter 11:

When he entered the apartment in the next evening, he could hear the TV running. He wondered what this was supposed to mean since his son usually would be doing his homework at this hour. He made his way to the living room where he found Ryan on the couch, cuddled into a thick throw and already half-way asleep. He put down his briefcase and went over to his son, gently stroking his cheek. In a response, his son's eyes slowly opened.

"Hey kid, already finished with your homework?" he asked Ryan.

"Not even started yet," his son answered honestly, while getting into a sitting position. This answer got him worried again. Doing his homework used to be the priority on his son's after-school-to-do-list and now he didn't even start on them. This was alerting to him.

"Is everything okay?" he asked Ryan and sat down next to him, placing a hand on his son's leg. In fact, Ryan seemed a little depressed lately or rather, since the day he had met up with his new friend. Sandy was afraid that again someone had told his son that he was sorry, but couldn't be friends with him anymore because of his condition. Sandy's heart sank, how was he supposed to comfort his son? He was at a loss and unable to offer any more comfort, because he himself was in a desperate need for some comfort. In addition, the fact that he had to explain to his son that the seemingly slow growing tumour was actually a fast growing and spreading one and that therefore the extent of the upcoming procedure was unforeseeable, was hanging above his head like the sword of Damocles. How would his son react? How to cope with that reaction? This time, he couldn't blame his wife for it. This time, he was the one who hadn't thought about calling in a second opinion. It was his fault. He pushed these thoughts aside. He had a meeting to concentrate on and maybe he could find a way to circumvent this revelation.

"Just tired," his son answered, sliding back under the covers, curling together and facing the back rest of the couch. It was visible that Ryan was more than just tired.

"Alright, then stay put and relax. It's probably better that way. What about staying home tomorrow? One day more or less won't make a difference," he suggested. He couldn't deny the fear that his son overstrained himself and that this might have worsened his son's condition.

"Uh,…no. I have to hand in some course works. At least, those which I actually managed to finish."

"I can hand them in for you. Honestly Ryan, you're supposed to take it easy and slow, and I'm afraid to say: what you're doing is the opposite of easy and slow," he started to talk into his son's mind.

"Yeah I know…but I can't stay here tomorrow, all alone with myself and my thoughts. I'll go nuts if I stay here." He couldn't take it him amiss. His son was scared shitless, although he didn't even know the extent of the operation he was facing. This wasn't going to be easy for neither of them.

"Did you eat something?" he asked, switching the topic since it was useless debating with Ryan about whether to stay home or not.

"Some broth. I guess, I stick to it for the rest of the day," his son answered him and he could hear that his son was tired of talking and just wanted to be left alone. It was difficult to approach Ryan when he wasn't feeling. Unlike all other kids, Ryan used to hide from everyone then and was truly annoyed by anyone's concerns and presence. This was the hardest part of all. He wanted to fuss over his son, but Ryan wouldn't let him. Exactly this was what made him feel like a neglectful father, but this was going to change, notwithstanding his son's opposition.

"Maybe you should try something else," he threw another ball in, foreseeing that Ryan wouldn't accept his suggestions.

"Dad, could you please leave it with that? Talking hurts and I'm not talking to you about the swallowing thing. I…can you just leave me alone for a few minutes?" his son asked and now Sandy noticed that he hadn't really realised what was about to come up towards them. He doubted his parenting skills. Maybe he was a neglectful parent, no matter how much time he spent with his son. He felt responsible for his son's situation, the relapse. He didn't realise in time that something was wrong. He didn't listen when his wife talked to him about it and that she wanted to take their son to see a doctor the day she died. Even now, he didn't notice his son's physical reluctance to talk, and he didn't hear the scratchy and hoarse voice. Something was blocking his mind. He was incapable of realising such things, had always been. Sandy feared that this negligence would take his son's life away, someday.

"Sorry, I'm sure, this will be better soon. There's just one more question: I expect a visitor this evening, is it okay with you?" he asked.

"Depends on who it is," his son sighed.

"My boss," this made his son's head turn around, facing him again with this small cheeky smile on his face, something he hadn't seen for a while.

"The blond boss with the cute little nose?" his son smirked and Sandy felt caught in the act. In an instant, he started blushing. He could have killed his son for this comment, although he had hit the nail's head, as he usually did. Sandy didn't dare to think about a time when his son won't pronounce the obvious anymore and won't encourage him doing something he himself was too shy or insecure for doing on his own. He begged for this time to never come. He knew that there was always a small chance left, but he couldn't bring himself to indulge in this hope.

"Be careful with your voice," he replied mockingly and left for the kitchen to prepare something for dinner. He had sat up this meeting to calm his boss down. And yes, he had taken advantage of these circumstances to get her to know better. He never would have asked her out on a date. He wasn't that kind of man who just did things like that. He was out of practice anyway. He hadn't had a date since …he couldn't even remember when he has had his last date. He set up the drafts and documents. This would be the last case he would fight through for this company. Making this decision hadn't been easy, but he couldn't be working fulltime while his son sat alone at home. He always had known that someday he would have to step back and eventually, this day has come, irrespective of the prayers he had sent up for this to never come. Well, he was used to his hopes being smashed to pieces. Ryan had already silently disappeared to his room when Sandy went to the living-room to check on him. He wanted to see whether his son was already asleep or forcing himself to do his homework, but then the bell rang announcing that his visitor had arrived and he forgot about it. He opened the door.

"Mrs. Nichol, I'm glad that you could arrange this meeting in your schedule," he greeted her. He felt how his heart raced as if he was a teenager dating his first real teenage love.

"Thanks for the invitation. I really appreciate your engagement in our company. I still can't imagine how we're supposed to run our course without your active support," she answered him in her business slang. He let her in and took her coat. Then he led her to the kitchen where everything was prepared: as well for the dinner as for the business part of this evening. He offered her a seat.

"Can I offer you something to drink? Water, coffee or some tea?" he asked her.

"Tea would be nice," she answered him with one of her warm smiles, which were able to make him melt away under her charm.

"Is this your draft for a solution?" she asked him, pointing at a file which was lying on the kitchen table.

"Yes, that's it. Take a look at it and tell me what you think of it," he encouraged her while preparing the tea. When he managed to without any major accident, he joined her.

"Thanks," she said as he poured her a mug of steaming tea. "This looks interesting. So what exactly is your plan?" she requested answers.

"Well, the first thing which struck my eyes is the fact that your father is the majority shareholder of the company, as well as the executive of the Newport Group of which he also owns nearly the majority of shares." he started. He was back in his element and started to feel secure again, while explaining his boss what the facts meant. She started frowning during his explications. She wasn't happy about it and he was sorry that he couldn't offer her any more pleasant news. He loved to make her smile.

"And what shall we do in your opinion?" his boss asked after he finished his explications.

"Avoid a trial and try to settle this in good understanding," he suggested her.

"Yeah, but both parties' opinions in this are obdurate. I doubt that one will give in."

"But you are the new boss and you are a woman."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked him, a light annoyance was swaying in her voice.

"Well, I made the experience that women are a little more sensitive towards strained business relations and that they are more diplomatic. Both are aspects which we'll need for settling this case," he answered her, showing that he somehow admired the female attributes, her female attributes.

"You got your act together," she answered him laughingly and her adorable smile appeared on her face, making it shining brighter than anything he had ever seen before.

"Thanks. The best thing you could do is to start new negotiations. Let them know that you want to try to find a solution without court, but don't let them know that the cards are stacked against you. Then, you only need to listen carefully to what they want."

Their constructive work in silence was disturbed by his son, who entered the kitchen. Sandy looked at his son and tilted his head.

"Sorry, didn't want to disturb you. I …" Ryan stopped midsentence and stared stunned at his boss. Sandy's glance followed his son's.

"Ryan?!" Sandy's boss exclaimed the second Ryan had entered the kitchen. Sandy's confusion rose.

"Mrs. Nichol?" Ryan asked back, obviously surprised about her being in their kitchen. Sandy lost track of reasons.

"You know each other?" Sandy then emerged from his trance. He was more than confused about this encounter. How was it possible that the two of them already knew each other?

"Yes,…uh, Ryan is a friend of my son's, Seth. They go to the same school," Mrs. Nichol stammered, struggling to regain her composure.

"You didn't tell me," Sandy stated and looked at his son. Ryan was hiding something from him. The look on his son's face told him that.

"Yeah…uh…couldn't know that…Mrs. Nichol was your boss, could I?" his son mumbled subdued.

"Are …are you feeling better now?" Mrs. Nichol asked his son, obviously taken by surprise meeting Ryan in his kitchen. Ryan blushed in an instant and now Sandy was sure that he had to know what went on.

"Uh…yeah, thanks." Sandy noticed that his son was acting as if being caught red handed.

"May I ask what this is about?" Sandy wanted to know what went on between his boss and his son.

"Ryan didn't feel well last Saturday, probably… because of his overall condition," Mrs. Nichol revealed the secret to him. He felt her hesitation. She knew about it. Instantly, the distance between them was growing again. Sandy shot glances at his son. He hated it if his son didn't talk to him about his condition. It was important that he knew how his son was. Only that way he was capable of taking properly care of him. But obviously his son didn't appreciate his efforts, or he didn't want to be taken care of by his Dad, or both. No matter what the reasons were, Sandy was angry about his son's ignorant behaviour. On top of that, he was sure that he had lost the fight for Mrs. Nichol. He hadn't planned on letting his son's condition become an issue until…later, when they had reached another, deeper and stronger level in their relationship. His son should possess enough decency to give him a warning. If Sandy had known, he would have had a chance to figure out a plan of handling this situation, but now he was caught off guard.

"You must have forgotten to tell me. When I asked you about your day, you told me that everything was alright," Sandy stated, brushing off his thoughts how his son's illness was affecting his love life.

"Yeah…sorry. I gotta go," his son reacted the way he always reacted: duck and cover. But he wouldn't let him through with this behaviour. Once again, Sandy felt as if he needed to lay down the law to his son.

"Sorry, but I guess there's someone due for a conversation," Sandy apologized to Kirsten. This was his personal nightmare. This wasn't quite the right way to impress his boss. He was looking like a helplessly overtaxed single parent with a teenager who had the bad habit of acting totally out of control. He made a mental note to correct the impression his boss must have gotten through the scene in his kitchen. Sandy followed his son into his room and shut the door.

"Could you please tell me what this was about?" he asked his son. Ryan sat on his bed staring, onto the floor and stayed mute. Usually, Sandy gave up, but this time he wouldn't give in that easily.

"You know that you technically have been lying to me. And you also know how important it is that I know about your condition," Sandy told him. Ryan didn't respond. His son had built up a wall around himself, which shielded him from every attempt of parenting Sandy started.

"Damn it Ryan, what's wrong with you?" Sandy lost his temper, too early and too harshly.

"Why is it always me something is wrong with? Maybe it's you? I never had difficulties talking to Mom about…things," Ryan snapped with his icy and steely voice.

"I might not to be your Mom, but I try my best to help you and that's the way you're thanking me for that?" Sandy wasn't thinking straight. He didn't notice that the person he was talking to was a seriously sick teenage boy who was overtaxed with his own tragedy. Sandy didn't get the message which swayed within his son's words. Sandy was fed up and he had to let it out.

"I didn't ask you to," Ryan bit back, got up from his bed and turned to leave.

"You're not leaving this apartment without my permission," Sandy stopped him.

"You do realise that this playing-father-thing comes a little late, do you?" his son threw at him. After that sentence something snapped in Sandy's head and he couldn't stop himself –or his hand for that matter – from what he was doing. The slapping noise pushed him back into reality. He was taken aback by his own actions. But his son had the tendency to drive him that furious that his mind blanked out. His son's Mom had possessed the same tendency.

"Ryan…I'm sorry…I…," he stammered. His action wasn't to be apologised. He knew that much.

"I take it, you don't expect me to ask you permission to leave this apartment now, do you?" his son said. His voice sounded overly controlled and strained. Sandy stayed quiet. There was nothing left to be said. He couldn't force his son to stay, not after this. He heard the door shut and then his son was gone. He took a deep breath to steady himself. There was no way that he could correct the impression his boss got. This was just a little bit too much.

"Sorry, I…should have given you a warning," Mrs. Nichol said when he was back in the kitchen. Sandy had sensed that, the second his son had entered the kitchen, the vibes between him and Mrs. Nichol became cold and more distant, which annoyed him badly.

"Uh…no. How were you supposed to know?" he replied sighing.

"The conversation didn't go well?" she asked him carefully.

"Not really," he answered plainly. There was no need to cover up the most obvious.

"I can't tell you how glad I am to realise that I'm not the only one who has trouble taming a crazed teenager," she told him chuckling.

"No, you're obviously not," he agreed. "You said he wasn't well on Saturday, was it bad?" he asked. He needed to know. It was his duty as father to ask such a question. He had to make sure that his son was well, or as well as he could be in his condition.

"No, he was just a little dizzy. Probably a side effect of the treatment?" she replied. "Probably. So, you know about it?" he asked her, trying to figure out whether the battle was already lost.

"It came out accidentally. He's not really dealing with it openly, is he?"

"No. He's had several bad experiences and since then he just tries to hide it as good as possible. Just doesn't work all the time," Sandy explained to her. She only nodded.

"Sorry, if that might sound a little too personal, but…how bad is it?" She asked him cautiously. He had known it. She was sussing out whether his son's condition was about to impair what the two of them had started to build up. How should he answer? The truth? Great, but how did they say? It was better to make a painful break than to draw out the agony. On the other hand, the die was not yet casted. No matter how slim the chances were, there were chances that his son's condition would improve.

"Phew…it's a serious disease we're talking about, nothing which he can sleep off, but Ryan's strong and handling the treatment quite well, so there are enough reasons for being optimistic," Sandy answered, intentionally leaving out the doctor's phone call, in which the doctor declared that they've done a mistake in treatment. He did leave out the fact that his son was fluctuating between relapse and remission since he was a little boy. Mrs. Nichol didn't need to know that yet, and the warm smile which emerged on her face told him that he had said what she wanted to hear.

After a silent pause, they go back to their work and the previous encounter was no longer an issue. Sandy was glad about this development and that his fight with his son didn't ruin the evening.

When they were satisfied with the outcome of their work, they decided to have dinner. They hadn't finished dinner when his son returned home.

"Hey kid, you alright?" Sandy asked as his son entered the kitchen.

"Of course," his son responded coldly and went to the fridge to fetch a bottle of water. Then, he turned around and left the kitchen. The coldness which radiated from Ryan made Sandy freeze. Apparently, he had made a huge mistake and he was sure that he could add another not-to-be-forgiven-mistake to his list of those he had already made.

"He came back home on his own. Your parenting skills can't be that bad," Mrs. Nichol mentioned surprised.

"I guess, this time it's my son's credit. He sometimes needs a break from me and then he just leaves and when he's calmed down again, he comes back. I did nothing to it," this time he was honest.

"Well then, congratulations to such a responsible son."

After two glasses of wine the atmosphere was relaxed and they were talking about this and that. They had successfully left the business territory behind.

"So, how does it come that a man like you is a single parent of a teenage boy?" she started asking him after they had finished their dinner.

"What do you mean with that?" he asked her challenging still seeing her smile at him.

"You are successful and charming, and you're a good father dealing well with a teenage boy. I can't find any grounds for why a woman should leave such a man," she said, not knowing the truth, yet. He started to blush again and he was sure that the alcohol wasn't the reason for that.

"I've been married for fifteen years," he answered her. The alcohol loosened his tongue but not enough so that he was capable of telling a stranger his story just like that.

"And what happened after those fifteen years? Did she just leave you alone with your son, or was there an agreement?"

"How do you come to the idea that it wasn't me leaving?"

"Because you took your son is with you. Usually, men leave without their kids and added to that, you don't look like the type of guy who leaves his wife with the burden of a sick child all on her own."

"Might be, but first of all I don't think that my son is a burden and second, my wife didn't leave me voluntarily. She died in a car accident a year ago," he answered her honestly. He didn't want anyone thinking of him perceiving his son as a burden and spreading untrue gossip about his wife.

"Oh…I…I'm sorry…it's…I'm really sorry. I didn't want to offend you," Mrs. Nichol answered immediately.

"No, it's okay. You couldn't know that," he tried to sooth her. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable in his presence.

"Is…it must be hard, or? I mean, being alone all of a sudden…?"

"It was, but now my son and I can cope quite well. We're a good team," he answered her, glad that his answer brought a shy smile on the face of his boss.

"But why do you think that it's the men who leave their kids alone?" he asked her back, already sensing that she had a reason for being edgy towards men.

"My husband left me and my son for another wife with whom he got two girls. That's basically the reason why I'm here." It was the first time she opened up to him like that and it felt good to Sandy. For telling him that, a hurt woman like Mrs. Nichol had to trust him enough.

"That's…I'm lacking of words. How can a man leave such a wonderful woman?" he replied, "And how can a father leave his own son alone just like that? I couldn't imagine leaving Ryan, no matter how hard times can be," he added as soon as he realised what he had been saying. Unfortunately, Mrs. Nichol had heard it and blushed of embarrassment avoiding his eyes.

"Uh…do…do you want some more of this dessert?" he asked to rescue the situation.

"Oh …that would be nice," she answered him and reached over with her plate. He wanted to take it from her and accidentally brushed her hand with his fingers. He immediately pulled away. He didn't want to occur clumsy. This made Mrs. Nichol giggle and he couldn't help but smile a little.

"It's awful. We're all grown-ups and parents, but we're still behaving like teenagers," she concluded and he had to laugh at this. This was exactly what he had been thinking, too.

"That's true."

"If my son could see me, he would die from embarrassment," Mrs. Nichol added and then they had to laugh even more.

The rest of the evening passed with a lot of laughing and the realisation that they had a lot in common and that they seemed to be, what the other one had been looking for, for so long. At the end of the night, they were calling each other by their first name and for the first time after his wife died, Sandy felt as if things could feel normal again. He ignored the fact that Kirsten's idea about him and his character didn't base on facts of truth.

Before he went to bed, he needed to check on his son. He somehow had to clear up their fight. He wouldn't close an eye this night otherwise. When he entered his son's room, he found the TV still running and his son snuggled into a blanket. His glances fell onto the frame on the nightstand. It was a picture of his wife. It was taken last fall during a culture trip through New York. It had been a warm and sunny day, and his son and his wife had spent it together. He hadn't been part of it. He had been working. His wife looked so happy on this picture. How was anyone supposed to know how sad and depressed she really had been? Was it right to date another woman, he thought. Was it right to feel happy again while his son won't have another mother and had to go through this without her? He had to test whether what he was doing was right, because he couldn't get the answer only by thinking. He switched off the TV and then placed the blanket carefully around his son's shoulders. He didn't want to wake him.

"'m still awake," his son mumbled.

"You should sleep."

"I know, but I…just can't. Too many thoughts," his son mumbled.

"I could stay with you, until you've fallen asleep" he offered him. He had to make up for what he had done earlier, somehow.

"That's just creepy, but thanks," his son said. He looked so pale and exhausted and in the definite need for sleep. Sandy shouldn't have lost his control. He only added more strength-sapping pressure to the already existing one, although he was supposed to take some of the pressure from his son.

"Listen, Ryan, I'm sorry…for earlier…I shouldn't have…," he started a lousy attempt to apology which was harshly cut off by his son: "Just leave it. We both know that this doesn't work out. You don't trust me and I…I'm tired of all this shit," his son spoke the truth, a truth he didn't want to be true.

"I do trust you," Sandy tried to fight off his son's insult.

"Really? And why don't I still know what the doctor talked to you about?" his son asked bitterly.

"Because…because I don't want you to run away. Not again," Sandy defended his actions.

"I did run one single time. It's been three years ago, I've been scared as hell and you haven't been there, so you don't know what happened. You don't know how it feels if the doctor tells you that you might wake up afterwards with one limb less than you've been fallen asleep with. So don't judge me," Ryan snapped at him. No, he hadn't been there. His wife had told him what had happened that day.

"Sorry, I'm…just afraid," Sandy had to make his son understand, although he didn't even know what he wanted his son to understand.

"And you really want to go to school, tomorrow?" he asked his son, switching the topic.

"Dunno," his son said. He sounded so awfully down and there was nothing in his power to change this.

"What's wrong?" he asked hoping that at least letting it out could help his son to feel a little better.

"It's…I'm just…I dunno…I'm tired, I guess," he said. His son sat there looking so lost and he had no idea how to give him the hold and support he needed. He went over to him and took him into a hug and was surprised that his son let him do so, didn't push him away.

"It'll get better. I'm sure," he whispered into his son's ear, steadily rocking him, something he hadn't done in ages.

"Dad?" his son asked when he already was on his way to his own bed.

"Yeah?"

"Do…can I stay home tomorrow? I…don't think I can go to school," his son admitted. As glad as he was that his son started to take his condition seriously, this statement tore his heart apart as it was the evidence that his son became weaker with each passing day.

"I'll call your school tomorrow. And don't worry. I've already arranged everything so you won't go nuts."