Merry Christmas!

11

Neither one of them really expected the silk to be the only thing warming her up. Neither, still, knew where the line would be drawn tonight. The question was no longer "will they/ won't they," but was now simply "when will they?" Would it be tonight?

Kate watched him appraise her from the corner of her eye. He seemed to be alternating between making sure she wasn't about to wig out and wanting to kiss her bare shoulder again.

He'd led her into his room, pointed out the remote controls (just in case she needed to run, maybe she wouldn't actually run away) and said she could turn on the TV or music if she wanted.

He went to brush his teeth, and she went to peruse his framed photos. It says a lot about a man: which photos he displays. Of the many photo ops Castle had been in, the politicos and stars he'd met, not one was in a photo. Only family.

She was smiling at a picture of him and Alexis from around 14 years ago when he eased back into the room, so he watched her from the doorway. He couldn't tell from where he stood that she was watching him watch her. It struck her once again how different he truly was from the man he'd pretended to be when they first met. Sweet, caring, generous, insecure at times, protective. Not at all the cocky jackass of four years previous.

Once she sat the framed photo back on the shelf, he said, "I put a new toothbrush out for you."

"Thank you, Castle." Her voice was soft. She let herself into the bathroom and shut the door. He found himself staring at the door, marveling at how many more levels there were to her than he'd first assumed. He'd read her so well, during that first case: smart, from a wealthy family, well-educated, just a little damaged from losing someone, and sexy as hell. She could match his wit and he immediately loved that. But now he knew how it felt to see her fall apart, completely broken, then to watch her pull the pieces back together, to catch her looking at him the same way he looked at her, to feel her rest in his arms, to see her be sappy and romantic and angry and jealous and afraid, to need her, and for her to need him.

He was turning down the bed as she came out of the bathroom.

With him out of sight, doubt began worming its way back into her thoughts. She shouldn't be here. She should go home. This was too fast. If it was meant to be, they could take their time. If there was such thing as 'meant to be.'

As soon as she opened the door, she hesitated, and he saw it. He walked over to her - confidence in his posture and gait, but not in his eyes- wrapped his arms around her, and spoke quietly into her ear. "Kate, stay with me. Don't leave me."

Her breath caught with the memory of the last time he'd said that. Only, that time, she was dying. Kate, stay with me. Don't leave me. Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate. She could have died again today. She returned his embrace, tucking her head under his chin.

He felt her nod and held her tighter.

He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to let go, didn't want to pressure her, and didn't want to give her the chance to walk away.

"Are you tired? Or can I kiss you again?" Richard Castle, being timid. He was adorable.

"Depends. Are you going to model some of those costumes for me?" She nodded toward the closet door behind him.

He laughed and the reticence was gone.

"Mm. Fashion show. Which would you like to see me in?" He stepped toward the door, keeping hold of her hand, and gave her a teasing eyebrow waggle.

"Well that depends, too." His eyes asked her to continue. "Depends on which one is easiest to take off."

Oh, hell.

She tugged his hand, pulling him back to her, and kissed him. Whatever doubts she'd entertained while brushing her teeth were wiped away by his sweetness and by knowing that he loves her.

She wanted this, she needed this, needed him. Her kisses grew needy, too, like she couldn't get enough. Rick pulled back, one last time, to look into her eyes and make sure this really was what he wanted it to be – meaningful, precious, binding ; she held his gaze, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip, saying all she could without saying anything, that this really was it; she saw when he was sure, flicked her eyes to his lips then back to his eyes; and he hijacked her seduction by forcefully kissing her and backing her to the bed.

They fell onto it grasping urgently, working their way to the middle of the bed, and he never stopped looking at her. For hours, whether they were being impatient, racing to make the other moan harder and pant faster, or while they were being soft and tender and slow, he watched her. He watched when she squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed by what he was doing to her, he looked while she sucked too hard on his chest, marking him. He watched all of her reactions, wanting to know what made her feel impossibly good.

She couldn't watch it all. Sometimes it was just too much. How he made her feel, how attuned to her he was, how much it felt like a crazy good dream. She couldn't help but shut her eyes involuntarily as her body arched into his and her head reared back into the pillow and she stopped breathing altogether until her lungs forced her to gasp in more air. But she saw enough. She saw how he looked at her like she was the most important thing in the world. She saw what made him lose control then did that to him again and again. She saw him shudder with pleasure. She saw him grit his teeth to stifle noises his daughter would otherwise hear.

She saw him beam when she smiled at him. She watched him laugh at the quirky comment she whispered in his ear. She saw him fighting to keep his eyes open just to look at her longer as they fell asleep in each other's arms afterward. She saw him drooling a little when she woke up in the middle of the night and carefully slipped out of his embrace.

She dressed – in the clothes he'd given her – and got a glass of water. And she went back.

Back to his bed, back to his arms, back to him.


A/N: Good Christmas gift? Please review!

And make sure to actually worship the Lord on the day we celebrate his earthly birth! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. (And if you're not Christian, I hope you have a great day!)