A/N: I don't own Red Vs. Blue.
"And then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock, but, uh, well that's when the tank showed up and, shit just started blowin' up. I don't know." Grif said, explaing the events of the last hour to Sarge.
Sarge let out a long, pissed off sigh. "Grif, do you have any Godly idea how much this peice of equipment costs?" he asked, pointing to the wreaked Warthog that Lopez was sitting where the engine used to be, fixing the fuel line.
"Ah, I don't know, what like uh, ten, ten twenty, twenty-five bucks, maybe? Uh, yeu, you're gonna kill me now aren't you." he said, not liking where this was going.
Sarge nodded his head. "Tell you what, Grif, I'm a fair man. I'll give you a ten second head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to ya." he said. Lopez climbed out of the wreak and stood next to Sarge, cracking his fists.
"Guys, I just want you to know. I'm really, really sorry here and..." Grif started to say, but stopped when Lopez put down the wrench he was holding and hefted the Warthog's Chaingun, the only thing that still worked on the wreak.
Sarge smiled an evil smile. "Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi." he started counting as he shouldered his shotgun and levered a round.
Grif slowly started to back away. "Okay uh, I guess I better get going then." he said. Lopez and Sarge looked at each other, nodded, and started to fire. "Hey guys, that's not funny. Somebody could get hurt here." Grif said as he ran through the gargage door into the base. Sarge caught Lopez's eye and jercked his head. Lopez gave a sly smile and took off after Grif. Sarge shook his head as he followed Lopez to find Grif.
Meanwhile at the Blue Base, Tex was using Caboose for target practice. "That's basically it sir, they have five guys over there and a big jeep." Tucker informed the freelancer.
"And your flag." said Tex in a deep voice, reloading his assult rifle.
"Right, that too." admitted Tucker, rubbing the back of his head in embaresment. Suddenly, Tex grabbed a grenade and threw it at Caboose. The Spartan leaped and narrowly avoided death.
"Uh, hey, Tex? I don't know what it's been like at your other bases, bt we try not to use other soldiers for target practice here." Tucker told Tex, hoping he would stop before he killed the rookie.
"I'm scared." whimpered the UNSC Marine from behind the table where he was hidden.
Tex just shouldered the assult rifle and started to zero in the sights of Church's old sniper rifle with thrown grenades. Seeing he wasn't facing friendly fire, Caboose ran up to stand next to Tucker. "So, you've got the Special Forces black armor, I see. Were you in the Special Forces at some point?" Tucker asked the freelancer. Tex simply ignores the Blue, simply switching to his pistol to zero it in. "Yeah, I used to have black armor too. It was black because I got this stuff all over it from th-" Tucker started to say to Tex, but Tex just holsteredhis pistol and lept the ten feet from the base roof to the ground and started to walk off. "Oh, okay, you gotta go? I'll see you later." Tucker said to the Black Spartan.
"I don't think he likes you." Caboose whispered to Tucker.
"Thanks." Tucker said with irratation at the new guy. The two of them ran up to the edge of the base. "Where are you going?" Tucker asked the receding figure.
Tex pointed to the distant Red Base. "Red base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back." he said.
"Uh... Okay! We'll just stay here and guard the trans... porter..." he said to the receding figure.
Back over at Red Base, Simmons found Grif hiding in a storeroom. He got the scared Spartan out and asked him what Sarge said. "So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed, probably because somebody didn't believed in it." Grif lied through his ass.
Simmons shook his head. He just had to give Grif the benifit of having the choice to tell the truth, but it was time to revel the facts. "Bullshit. He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey, and he's gonna suspend your weapon privileges." he told the lying marine. As he finished Sarge walked by, ripped Grif's assult rifle and pistol away from him, and walked off. Simmons simply smiled and shook his head again.
Donut walked up them to ask them a question that was bothering him since he got the flag. "Hey since I captured the flag, d'you think they'll give me my own color armor now?" he asked them.
Both of the other Spartan's turned to face the red armored figure. "What do you mean 'captured'? You thought you were buying it at the store, you idiot." Simmons said.
"Still, you think there's a shot?" pressed Donut.
"Maybe they'll give you Grif's armor, since he destroyed the Warthog." Simmons said smugly.
"Hyeah, heh-wait... you don't... you don't think they'd do that, do you?" Grif asked nervously. There were only two ways someone else got your armor. Either you die, or you were out of the army.
In the garage, Lopez was trying to fix the Warthog with Sarge making vague, idiotic sugestions in his ear. "Try connectin' that hose to that metal thingie over there. I think that's what's makin' that rattle." he said pointing to random parts. Without looking up, Lopez cocks his pistol and pointed it right between Sarges eyes. "Ah think I'll let you do it." he said, slowly backing away from the mechanic. Lopez went back to work as if nothing was wrong. Tex, unseen to the nacked eye, ran behind Sarge. Sarge felt a slight breeze. "What the... What was that?" he said, turning around, seeing no one.
Grif and the others were on top of the base, looking out for Blues. Out of the corner of his eye, Grif saw a slight simmer. "Simmons, What's going on? What's over there?" he asked, pointing to the bottom edge of the base.
Simmons peered over the edge. and saw the same simmer before it disappeared. "I thought I saw something for a second." he told the others. Tex was flat against Red Base, waiting for the right moment to create havoc.
Sensing something was wrong, Grif turned to Donut. "Hey rookie, tuck the flag somewhere safe until we can figure out what's goin' on." he told the red Spartan.
"Good idea. I was sick of carrying this thing anyway." said Donut with a shrug. He walked over and threw the Blue's flag into their own flag room.
Suddenly a stone struck the roof right behind them. Grif and Simmons turned and looked over the edge of the base for who threw the stone. "Did you hear that?" Simmons asked.
"Yeah." said Grif, eyes scanning the canyon.
"Hey! What's going on?" Donut whispered. He was quickly shushed. While the majority of the Reds were distracted, Tex threw a plasma grenade which adheared itself to the side of Donut's helmet.
Seeing something flash over and behind them, Grif and Simmons turned. "What the fuck?" said Grif, seeing the grenade.
"What?" asked Donut, oblivious to the 17 ounces of high explosive plasma right next to his head.
"What is that thing?" asked Simmons.
"What thing?" inquired the clueless Spartan.
"There's something on your head..." began Grif.
"What, is it a spider? Get it off!" Donut panicked.
Simmons shook his head. "No, it's not a spider, it's, like a... blue thing." he said.
"What, like a blue spider? Get it off!" Donut screamed, his terror rising to new heights.
"It's not a spider, calm down. It's some kinda, fuzzy pulsating thing." Grif said.
"That doesn't sound much better than a spider." Donut said, getting a grip on his panic.
"Does it hurt?" Simmons asked.
"No..." Donut said, weary of where this might lead.
Simmons turned to Grif and began to confer with him. "Maybe we should try to take it off." Simmons sugested.
Grif agreed. "Good idea. go for it." he said.
"Me? By 'we' I meant 'you'. Asshole." Simmons said.
Donut butted in. "Well somebody needs to get it off. Look, it might be dangerous." he said. Suddenly the grenade detnated, almost killing Donut.
"Son of a bitch!" said Grif and Simmons. All this was too much for Simmons. He fainted without a sound.
Tex was suddenly was in front of him, slamming the but of his pistol into Grif's shoulder. Grif's arm went numb, causing him to drop his assult rifle. Tex quickly moved out of Grif's sight. "Son... where'd he go?" Grif said, turning frantickly. He stopped when he got the butt end of Tex's rifle into his adomen. Grif fell to his knees in agony. He looked up to see Tex towering over him with a pistol pointed at his head. "Don't kill me, I'm to good good looking to die!" Grif pleaded. Tex decided to grant Grif this, so he spun the pistol around and smashed it into the back of Grif's head. The last thing Grif saw before his world went black was a gold ring with a ice chip diamond shaped into infinity.
