I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel
Your Virgin Mary undone
I'm in love with my lust
Burning angel wings to dust
I wish I had your angel tonight
I'm going down so frail and cruel
Drunken disguise changes allthe rules
Old loves they die hard
Old lies they die harder
Nightwish – I wish I had an angel
Chapter 11
Family dinner from hell. That was Elijah's first thought. He was sitting at a table with Starlit, Mikael and Lenore. Everyone else seemed to have a good time. Starlit was laughing and talking with Mikael who also seemed to be in excellent mood. Lenore was smiling. She didn't speak much but then again, she never did.
"Toast!" Mikael said and raised his glass. "To my son and his beautiful bride!"
"You are too kind", Starlit said when she also raised her class.
"Don't be silly my dear, you are like a daughter to me", Mikael said smiling. "Elijah is truly a lucky man. Isn't that right son?"
Elijah felt sick about this grotesque show, but he forced himself to smile.
"Yes father. Very lucky."
"Let there be many happy years for two of you!"
Everyone raised their classes.
"Thank you Mikael", Starlit said smiling. "For everything. You have been so generous."
"We are family now my dear. What is mine is yours."
Elijah felt strong urge to break his glass and stab Mikael with it. Instead he sat next to Starlit and smiled. Starlit took his hand. Her hand felt so soft and warm. This was a nightmare. If Mikael had wanted to punish him for his betrayal, then his father had found a perfect way to do it. Being so close to Starlit but still unable to touch her was truly a torture. Elijah had always considered himself an honorable man but lately he had to constantly remind himself about that. He couldn't live with himself if he would cross that line, but still… He was tempted. It was like Mikael had just read his mind.
"Oh, but you two kids must be tired listening an old man like me. I completely understand if you rather want to spend some quality time together."
"No, no, we are enjoying your company", Starlit said. "And Lenore's as well."
"That's very sweet of you my dear but I'm afraid I need my rest as well so perhaps we can call it a night?"
"Yes, of course. Thank you for the wonderful evening."
Starlit stood up and kept Elijah's hand tightly in her own.
"Pleasure was all mine", Mikael said. "Good night you two."
Elijah didn't say anything. He didn't feel like pretending any more.
"Your father is so nice", Starlit said when they got to Elijah's room.
"Yes, a true hero", Elijah replied tiredly and sat on the bed.
Starlit turned to look at him.
"Is everything alright my love?" she asked.
"Yes, everything is fine. I am just tired."
"Well maybe you would like to have some dessert."
Starlit smiled and sat on his lap. She touched his hair and cheek and kissed his neck. Elijah closed his eyes.
"Starlit, I can't do this."
She didn't stop kissing him.
"I'm going to hell", Elijah murmured.
He couldn't control himself anymore. He just throws Starlit to the bed and started to kiss her passionately. She was kissing him back. Elijah wanted to feel the warmth of her skin. He ripped her dress off and touched her neck, her stomach, her thighs…
"I love you", she whispered.
Elijah stopped and looked at her lying under him almost naked.
"No, no, no, what am I doing?" he said mostly to himself.
"What's wrong?" Starlit asked confused.
Elijah got up and started to walk around the room, trying to control himself again.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", he said.
Starlit got up too and moved next to him.
"It's ok my love. What ever it is you can tell me. I'm here for you."
Elijah couldn't face her compassionate look.
"Can we just please go to sleep", he said tiredly.
"Yes of course, if that's what you want."
That wasn't what he wanted but that was all he was going to do tonight.
