Disclaimer- Harry Potter and Twilight do not belong to me. (Sadly)

When so many are lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone."

-Tennesse Williams

I sat in the library the night after I talked to Draco. I buried myself deep into the stacks of books in the last row in the library and stayed there for hours. I needed to think and where better to do that than in the one place where it was quiet? I inhaled deeply. The smell of old leather books filled my nose ans soothed my nerves.

Umbridge was after us. If we were caught, it would be hell for all of the DA members. I hated to think what would happen to the small first and second years. The poor kids couldn't go through that, I wouldn't let them. I'd have to tell Harry about what Draco said. Harry... I hated ignoring him like this. I hated that I couldn't be fully honest with him. I hated that my keeping secrets was hurting him. I just wasn't too happy with myself right now.

I banged my head hard against the bookshelf I was sitting against. The books shook from their spots above my head, I ignored the sound and looked down at my hands. A large object fell from above me and hit me square in the head a second later. I instinctively raised my hand to my head and felt the large bump that was already forming. I looked to the side of me and glared at the kamikaze book that sat there. Ouch, that really hurt. Stupid book.

I growled in frustration and pain. "Is this some kind of cosmic joke or something!?" I yelled to the sky like the crazy person I was. I picked up the book and threw it a few feet away. I cradled my head in my hands and let myself calm down. Slowly breathing, I gathered my thoughts. A moment later I heard footsteps approaching. The dark haired boy came around the corner and picked up the book before coming towards me.

"You okay?" Harry asked in a caution voice.

"Fine. Why do you ask?"

His emerald green eyes darted around like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Because I have been watching you... and I saw the book fall and I heard you scream,"

I heard myself sigh. "Yeah, well I'm fine. Thanks," Harry nodded and sat down next to me.

"I feel like I haven't talked to you in ages," Harry spoke after a few moments of silence. I tiled my head to him.

"I'm sorry. I've been busy," I lied. Harry didn't seem to buy into my lame answer either. I didn't really expect him to.

"Or you have been ignoring me," He said quietly. I stared at him. He wore a hurt express on his handsome face that pretty much ripped my heart out. I opened my mouth to say something, anything to make the hurt in his eyes go away but I couldn't think of anything that would do what I was thinking justice. "Allie, I understand that you are dealing with demons from your past but don't shut me out. Please. It feels as if everyone is doing that nowadays and I don't think I could bare it if you did too,"

I felt tears well up in my eyes but I refused to let them flow. I grabbed his hand in my own and began to trace small circles on the back of his fingers. "I'm not going anywhere," I told him truthfully.

He nodded before pulling me to his chest. I rested my head there and listened as Harry's heartbeats mix with mine.

"Miss. Cullen!" I heard my name being yelled in whisper. I looked up to see the old librarian standing before us. I quickly jumped up and met her gaze. "I'd expect such behaviors from other students but from you... this is unacceptable," Jeez, she acts as if we were making out instead of just hugging.

"I am terribly sorry. It will never happen again," I promised. The librarian nodded her head sternly before eying Harry and leaving. I blushed an insane color of red and looked in Harry's direction. I heard him snickering under his breath and I went over to smack him lightly on his arm. He flinched slightly from my cold hand but just laughed harder. I stuck my tongue out at him and outstretched my hand so he could take it and stand.

He placed his hand in mine and we walked out of the library. We walked around aimlessly for a while, just talking and laughing. It felt really good to be able to be around Harry without him trying to get information out of me. No matter how ready my boyfriend was to accept what I had done I didn't think I was.

We went around the corner and me, not being a coordinated person, bumped in a boy who was rounding it at the same time. I bounced off his chest and staggered a little.

"I am so sorry," He told me apologetically. I gathered my composure and smiled up at him. The boy looked to be about a sixth year Ravenclaw with light blond, shagging hair.

"It's fine. I should have been watching where I was going," The boy nodded his goodbye before walking around me and Harry.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked as he glared daggers at the boys back. I followed his line of sight and furrowed my eyebrows.

"I'm fine, Harry. I'm not made of glass, you know," He continued to glare at the boy as he went. I pursed my lips together and rolled my eyes. Harry was getting moody again and it was starting to get to me. "Harry, let it go,"

"Well if you weren't such a klutz, I would have nothing to let go of, would I?" He said it loudly and his words bounced off of the corridor walls and echoed. The boy stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. I really wish he would have kept walking, if he was to say anything to Harry...

"Is everything okay?" He eyed me when speaking. He had the same concerned look on that Cedric had when catching Snape pulling me through the halls, only this time it was not Cedric and the Snape in this scenario was Harry. I nodded my head quickly, hoping he would just leave but it was too late. He headed toward Harry and set him with a look. Harry twisted his neck and gave him a cold glare that would have given Voldemort a run for his money... or for his title of suckiest person alive.

The boy returned his eyes to me and gave me a small smile. "Would you like me to walk you somewhere?" I let out a small sigh. What? Did I have "damsel in distress" tattooed on my forehead? Well I sure as hell wasn't one and I was getting a little sick of everyone thinking differently. I knew the Ravenclaw meant well but it was just not a great confidence booster.

"No thanks, I can handle it," I told him truthfully. He took one more look at Harry who, by the way, was still acting like the blond boy had invaded his territory or something before nodding to me and returning on his way.

I scoffed at Harry before turning on my heels and marching in the opposite direction. He followed me for a distance before grabbing my elbow.

"What is your problem?" He asked in a normal tone. Harry McMoodyPants had left the building for now I guess. That still didn't mean I was pissed at him, though.

"Well before my problem was that I was a klutz but as of a minute ago it is you being a moody pain in the ass," I wretched my arm from his hand. He stared at me with hurt eyes that almost made me forgive him, almost. "What's wrong with you, Harry?" I asked quietly.

He took a step back from me and shook his head. He laced his fingers together and placed his hands on top of his head. "I don't know. I have just been... so angry lately. I can't stop it. I just... I just don't know,"

He looked sincerely confused by his actions which showed me that I should not take his freak outs personally. Sadly, however, I still did. I throttled my brain for some words that would help him or bring him comfort. "You should talk to Dumbledore, he will know what to do..."

Harry laughed in a way that made the hair on my arms stand on end. "Dumbledore? Ha, Dumbledore has been ignoring me. It's like I don't even exist to him anymore,"

"Okay, well talk to me," I offered. Harry had to be over exaggerating about Dumbledore ignoring him. The headmaster would never shut out a student especially not Harry. But if he was unwilling to talk to one of the most powerful wizards of all time, I could try to help him the best I could on my own.

Another laugh escaped Harry's lips and I was starting to worry for him. The uncontrollable rage had reappeared and he looked simply.. cruel. I took an instinctive step back from his radiating anger. "Why would I do that, Allie? It's not like you share stuff with me anymore!"

I closed my mouth and looked down, defeated. Harry's defenses and anger once again diminished and his thoughts were full of regret. "Oh my god. Allie, I-" I cut him off with the lift of my hand to keep him away.

"I'm not proud of who I used to be Harry or that I have been keeping secrets from you," I looked up at him with tears blurring my vision faintly. All of the memories from my past were flying into my mind in one fell swoop and I might have a small break down due to it. I had tried to block out the things that I had done... but somehow they just kept coming back. "But I would have trusted you to give me a while so I could tell you on my own terms and my own time... That's what I would have done for you," My voice was more hurt than angered now.

Harry came to me and put his hands on my upper arms. "I would never-"

"You just did, Harry," I said in a whisper. Harry dropped his hand and then his eyes.

"I'm sorry,"

The corner of my lip pulled up slightly. "You have been saying that a lot lately," I repeated once more to him. His emerald green eyes shot up at me and pulled on my heart strings.

I couldn't forgive him just yet. He would be like a small child if I did. Coddling him after an outburst like than is the same thing as telling him it is okay to say the things he says, and it clearly is not okay for him to do so. I pressed my lips together in a thin line and glared at Harry. "If you don't tell Dumbledore, I will," I turned away from him and walked a few feet away but stopped abruptly. I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes. "This has to stop, Harry. It just has too," I didn't turn to face him but just shot the words over my shoulder. I flew down the corridor at my vampire speed and kept running until I felt I was a far enough distance from Harry to stop.

I collapsed onto the floor next to a suit of armor and thought about what just happened. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown for Harry. My past was coming back to haunt me and Draco informed me that the Blair Witch of Hogwarts was after our heads. Not too mention OWLS were only two months away. Everything that could possible happen was happening now. My thoughts drifted once more to Harry. Merlin knew I loved that boy with all of my heart, but I didn't know how much more of this side of Harry I could take.

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I plopped onto my bed an hour later and stared over at Hermione. She (like always) had a book glued to her face. I threw my pillow over my head and screamed. Hermione realized something was up and came over to my bed and sat down.

"Bad day?" He voice was muffled by the pillow but I still heard her loud and clear. I nodded my head but she didn't see. My best friend lifted the pillow from my face and hit me with it. I laughed at her attack. "Well tell me," She asked sweetly.

I sighed and let one word come out of my mouth. "Harry," Hermione's usually happy expression fell, she understood. Harry's behavior hadn't gone unnoticed by his other friends. We were all worried about him.

"Well you know what I think about that. It's just best if we let him be,"

I laughed a little. If only it were that simple. "Hermione, he already thinks everyone abandoned him. I couldn't... I can't let him think that he is alone. I've been there, heck I am the mayor of there, and I just can't see him like that. Confused and alone is no way to be,"

Hermione chewed over my words and nodded after a while. "So what do we do?"

I looked her in the straight in the eye. "We go to Dumbledore,"

Ok, so I know the quote doesn't exactly go with the chapter. But I love it all the same and it talks about Harry and Allie, both feeling lonely. Tell me what you think please. Thank you for reading!