JE created these characters, not me.
Jenny (JenRar) thank you for keeping me straight as the beta on this story.
Chapter 11- The Sound of Understanding
"God, Cal, this place is gorgeous." Stephanie was practically open mouthed as she took in the lake house. "If I owned a place like this, I'd never leave."
He knew her opinion would only grow stronger the next day when she could see out the windows at the back that overlooked the water. "Ranger had a designer do all the common areas, so the way it looks out here is all because a professional did it. We had our rooms all set up the same in white because it was the opposite of all the black we see at the office, and then we agreed we could each update our own spaces however we wanted."
They walked through the rooms on the second floor, with Cal opening each one and allowing her to step inside and guess who owned them based on the décor. Lester's was easy because of the shelf of porn next to the television. She commented that had to be his because his apartment at RangeMan had the same college frat boy look.
Bobby's room was next and was a bit of a no-brainer because it was covered with posters breaking down the human anatomy by system.
The next door was Tank's, which she guessed easily because of the collage of pictures of all his cats over the years.
When she walked into the room across the hall, she blinked several times. "Okay, I get what you meant about white. I've seen hospital rooms less sterile than this."
Cal looked at the bare white walls, white bedding, and white curtains and realized it looked like a marshmallow exploded.
"I think we can work with this pretty easily," she continued.
He hoped she was right.
"Here." He held out his hand as an invitation to the last room and opened the door to the master suite.
It was nearly twice the size of the other rooms, and only the walls remained neutral in color. The bedspread was a fluffy deep blue with throw pillows that were patterns with various shades, ranging from gray to navy. The windows had some sheer curtains tinted faintly with sapphire, and there were framed pictures all over the dresser and bedside tables.
"You can stay in here tonight."
"Whose room is this?" she wondered, not stepping in as she had with the others.
"It's Ranger's," he answered, not sure how she couldn't have guessed that.
A couple of years ago, the boss had thrown out all the black that used to cover the room and replaced it with an experiment in blue. Somebody asked him why the shift in color scheme, and he'd only offered, "It's the color I most want in my bed," and shrugged it off. It wasn't until Lester suggested that it was because Stephanie had blue eyes that he was maybe hinting about something with her. The next time Cal came to the house, he did the usual security sweep through the place and realized Ranger had covered all the horizontal surfaces with pictures as well. There were several of his daughter, and a couple of family snapshots, but all the rest were of Stephanie. He knew some new ones had arrived since the initial redecoration, but when he counted that day, there were five pictures of his family, three pictures of the guys, and eighteen snapshots of Stephanie.
She had yet to walk into the room and had a far-away expression on her face, so Cal decided to try getting his hard part over with that night instead of waiting until the morning. Hopefully, after hearing what he was going to share and then spending the night in a room that was all but a shrine to her, she would realize how Ranger really felt for her.
"I know it's dark, but I have a lantern we can carry with us if we want to sit out on the dock and listen to the water for a bit," he offered, hoping that by being in the dark, it would make talking easier for him.
"That's great," she quickly agreed, almost like she was relieved to be getting away from the room.
He guided her back downstairs, picked up the old oil lantern, and lit it before opening the back doors and taking her hand so she didn't somehow manage to fall off the narrow dock and into the water. It wasn't so cold that hypothermia would be an immediate issue, but he didn't think she'd appreciate taking a dunk in the lake either. When they got to the end, he sat down on the wood and patted the spot next to him.
Accepting his invitation, she sat as close to him as she could get and leaned against his side. It was nice to have someone so comfortable around him, and once again, he marveled at how wonderful she was to just accept the guys and trust them so completely that she'd close her eyes and sit in the dark alone with a guy who had Special Forces training and a flaming skull on his forehead.
"What made you guys decided to get this place?" she asked, giving him the perfect opening to share the information he thought she needed to hear.
"A few years back, I got called for a mission to lead a team of Seals in for an extraction of an Army Ranger that had been captured by enemy forces and was being held in an attempt to make our government negotiate for his release. Uncle Sam doesn't negotiate in times like that. I mean, as important as each citizen is, one of us alone isn't worth the good of the whole nation. But in the military, we have certain codes that allow us to operate a little differently. We might refuse to negotiate, but that doesn't mean we won't act at all, so I got the call to go in and get this guy home."
He looked up and saw the starts of Orion's belt, following them up to identify the rest of the hunter in his protective glory above them. "It didn't go well," he finally continued. He refused to give her the details, but he knew he needed to explain some. "It was like the rebels had advance warning of our deployment and knew our every move. My team of twelve was reduced to four within thirty minutes of landing on the shore. I never understood how they had so many freaking munitions. They'd mined the beach so that we couldn't run for safety past the sand without risking setting off the charges, but we couldn't go back to the water once they knew we were there or we'd be sitting ducks."
"Rock and a hard place," she summed up, moving her head to rest it on his shoulder.
"I had no choice but to give the order to run for the tree line, which was how we lost so many of us in such a short period." He tried not to picture it, because he'd done so much work to move beyond the damage that mission had done to him.
Once he felt like he'd closed the memories up partially, he began once more. "After we got to the tree line, our advantage began to grow, because even though they might have had more firepower, they didn't have the training or skill, so we were able to take them out enough that getting to our man was possible. Three days later, he was back on U.S. soil and I was on my way back here.
"RangeMan policy forces us all to take a few days off when we return from a mission involving direct combat, so I knew I was stuck without anything constructive to do for a while."
"What did you do on for your vacation?" Stephanie asked when he paused.
A chuckle was his first response, then he swallowed a few times forcing himself to keep going. "I fell apart. I couldn't sleep the first night, so I was exhausted. Then the next morning, every time a door slammed, I was jolted and getting punchier by the minute. I decided to take a break and get out of the building, so I took a run in the park off Emerson. Every car door shutting made me looking around for an enemy, but the truck that backfired had me freaking out, reliving the sound of those mines exploding. The screams of the children on the carousel quickly because the battle cries and then agonized death moans of the men I'd swam in with. It was too much, and even though some piece of my mind knew I was safe, the rest of my head was still on that beach under attack."
At some point during his story, Stephanie shifted so that her legs were across his and her arm was rubbing his shoulder. Cal wrapped his arms around her and pulled her completely into his lap, figuring it would be more comfortable for both of them, and he did suddenly feel the need to hold onto something, just to know he wasn't alone under the big dark sky.
"I got back to RangeMan and went to the gym. By then, I was jumping at almost every sound, so the clacking of the weights against their bars and thumping of somebody on the punching bag was only making me worse. I guess I froze in the middle of the gym, not moving, so Les came up and slapped me on the back, but because I was out of it, I didn't know he was there and I just reacted. I spun around punching. I got a few good licks in before Les was up to speed, but he had the good sense to just defend against my attack to keep himself safe without spooking me further by fighting back."
"What happened then?" she asked, her voice filled with worry.
"Don't remember." He hated admitting this part. "I guess Ranger came in and tried to talk me back down, but I couldn't hear him, so they got Bobby down there, and he hit me with something to knock me out. When I came to, I was in the infirmary, with Bobby right beside my bed. He got right down in my face so I could see it was him, and he explained about my freak out in the gym, so I went ahead and admitted that was just the end of it and shared my day in the park after my night and morning in the building. We talked about PTSD, and even though I knew he was right, admitting that it applied to me wasn't something I could do right then."
Stephanie readjusted her head on his chest, tickling him with some of the wild curls. It was wonderful to feel someone close to him again, and he realized it had been a long time since he'd had this kind of close feeling with another person.
"A week later, I was a man on the edge, so Ranger came to see me and insisted I talk to a friend of his named Mac. He said the guy had helped him a few times after some of his worst missions, and he wanted me to give him a chance. I told him I'd be willing to do it and signed something saying the doc could share anything with Ranger that might be helpful for him to make accommodations for me during my treatment." He paused and shook his head before adding, "I've never felt like less of a man than I did in that moment."
"Oh, Cal, you can't say that," she pulled back to argue.
He missed her against him and was glad to honestly tell her, "I know that's not true now, but at the moment, it's where I was at."
Thankfully, she settled back down so he could get to the part that she needed to hear.
"The doc told Ranger my treatment could move faster if I had a place removed from the office, where I could relax in some peace and quiet, but still close enough that I didn't feel detached completely from RangeMan. I guess he indicated to Ranger that it wouldn't do him any harm to have a place like that either, so Ranger talked to the core team, and they came down to my apartment and asked me to take a trip with them. We probably looked like clowns in a car all piling into an SUV, but riding all together helped me to keep in mind that I had plenty of backup and wasn't in any danger, so I went along with them.
"Ranger brought us here and showed us this house he'd found that he wanted us to purchase to have a real retreat for when we returned from missions. The first thing I noticed was that it didn't have any surprising noises, just the steady cadence of crickets chirping or birds singing and the water lapping on the shore. It wasn't so quiet that your mind was on edge waiting for something to happen, but there was no one else out here to jar me with sudden sounds. We signed the papers to buy it the next day, and I stayed here for three weeks getting my head back on straight.
"During that time, Ranger came down every day and brought me some work to do on the computer. Nobody likes searches and background checks, but they have to be done, and it allowed me to have some purpose to my day to feel like I was paying him back for the house and for not firing me for being a danger to myself and the rest of the men at RangeMan. After the first week, he came down and suggested I swim. When I looked uncertain, he barked out an order, stripped down, and had me running to the dock by his side and leaping in behind him. After lapping the lake a few times, I felt my mind beginning to ease. My muscles were tired, but I was relaxing for the first time since I'd been called up for duty. Every day, he checked on me, giving me orders that I simply followed out of respect for his authority, or giving me work so I didn't feel like a leech, and after a while, I could feel myself stepping out of the fog and back into myself."
A branch snapped in the distance, probably a deer pushing against some underbrush. Cal felt himself tighten up and took a few deep breaths while willing his body to relax once more. He was better, probably as good as he'd ever get, but that didn't mean he was symptom free.
"Ranger never gave up on me, even though he absolutely could have. He poured his money into buying a house so I'd have a place to escape, and then he gave up time that he most certainly needed to do other things in order to come check on me every day. He could have sent the other guys, but he came instead, allowing me to keep my pride in front of the men I worked with. The day I told him I thought I was ready to go back, he told me this was my house too and that I should come back anytime I needed a break from Trenton. Then he told me he planned on coming down often himself, and for the first time, I saw Ranger as a man instead of just a brilliant unstoppable machine. I tried to thank him, but he put an end to that before I could get very far. Told me I was part of the family and that every family needed a home, and then he walked away."
"He's good like that," Stephanie agreed softly. "So generous you hardly know what to think…what he expects in return."
"He expects you to accept it in return and that's all," Cal assured her, knowing it was true. "He never gives out of a desire to get something back."
"Unless he makes a deal about it first," she mumbled.
"I'm not sure about deals with Ranger..." Cal was confused, but didn't want her to think he wasn't listening to her comments.
She jerked around, as though his reply had surprised her. She probably hadn't intended to say that aloud.
"If this place holds such good memories, why do you want to update your room?" she asked, changing the subject quickly.
"The white was helpful back then, but now it just reminds me of a time when my head was blank except for the memories. It's time to make this place about being a home and less about being an escape for when I'm broken. I figure if I claim it instead of hiding it, then coming here will be more of a retreat than an admission that I'm slipping in some way."
"Oh, Cal." She shifted again and put both her arms around him, hugging him tightly.
He was in tune with pity, and he didn't really feel like that's what she was expressing. In fact, the way she was clinging to him and moving her body in an attempt to eliminate any distance between them was about to make it embarrassing to have her in his lap.
"In case you didn't realize it, I think you are simply wonderful, exactly as you are."
They spent another couple of hours talking in the dark under the stars, with her in his lap, holding him tightly. It had been a long time since he'd felt this important, but the way she gave him her full attention and responded to everything he said was a big boost for his ego. Maybe it was time for him to get out there again and see if there was a woman who didn't like loud noises, loved the water, and really dug tattoos. Mac would approve, and when he pushed about what caused the change in heart, he could tell the shrink about the woman in his arms, although, knowing the number of guys who went to see him on a regular basis, something told Cal he'd already heard about the heart of RangeMan.
The next morning, Stephanie woke up slowly and stretched against the sheets, loving their luxurious feel. It was like being on seven at Haywood, but with blue around instead of black everywhere. She smiled when she thought about the evening she'd spent with Cal. Never would she ever have guessed what he struggled with, and she admired him all the more for being brave enough to share it with her.
She knew that Cal had promised not to wake her up, but she thought she remembered him mentioning an afternoon shift, so as much as she wanted to stay right where she was, she needed to respect his schedule and get up. As she sat on the side of the bed, she took a moment to really look at the room. It was beautiful, and from the moment she stepped in, she'd felt at home here. The frame closest to the bed held a picture of her, probably taken after a distraction, based on the near lack of clothing she was wearing. The picture behind that one was of Ranger and Stephanie dancing at a club. They looked completely lost in their own little world. The final picture there was a close-up of Stephanie laughing, with her head back and her hair blowing behind her from the wind.
Jumping out of the bed, she moved to the dresser and saw a few pictures of other people she didn't recognize and a couple of Julie, but overwhelmingly, most of the pictures were of her. When had he gotten these? Where had they come from? And why did he have them in a place he'd told Cal was a home for him too?
By far, Ranger had to be the most infuriatingly confusing man she'd ever met. This was the kind of thing she'd expect a man in love with a woman to do, but he'd told her many times that he couldn't do a real relationship, and he'd qualified his love so many different ways that she wasn't sure what I love you even meant when he said it anymore. If she only went off what he said, then he wasn't relationship material. If that was true, then he might be the freakiest stalker she'd ever had. But the guys had been giving her example after example this week of how you had to listen to Ranger's actions, not his words. If she did that, then he adored her in a way most women were never fortunate enough to experience.
She surprised Cal by suggesting they go to a home goods store instead of the mall, and after only twenty minutes in there, they'd found him a lovely comforter with a muted green pattern to it for his bed and some matching throw pillows. He wasn't entirely sold on the need for extra pillows, but she assured him they were a must have. There were also some linen curtains in a tan, and a picture for his big wall that was a nature scene in the woods with light filtering down through the leaves. She was convinced it would look great in the room and that it would be both peaceful and homey for Cal.
They said goodbye in the parking lot of her apartment. He'd offered to go up and clear her apartment for her, but she knew he was in a hurry, and after spending so much time with people lately, she suddenly felt the need to have a little time alone in her own home.
She felt like all the stories the guys had shared with her lately were allowing her to see Ranger in a way she never had. His actions toward his men were very similar to how he'd treated her. This new side of him on top of how he'd acted at dinner the night before with her family had given her a lot of food for thought, and she was suddenly eager to cut herself off from the world and try to figure out the man of mystery. While she was at it, she might try to come up with a solution to world hunger or how to make peace in the Middle East...
She shut her door and carefully locked it, dropping her purse on the floor so it would be there when she was ready to leave the next time, and then went to say hello to Rex. While she was tapping on the glass, waiting to see if he'd honor her with his presence and come out of his soup can, she felt something pinch her neck, and she swung around quickly to see if someone was there.
A large man, entirely too portly to have been silent enough to sneak up on her, was there, smiling. "Don't worry; I'm not here to hurt you. This is for your own good."
He might have intended his words to be reassuring, but the fact that a stranger was in her apartment and holding a hypodermic needle took away any comfort she might have found in his assurances.
Before she could ask who he was and what he wanted, the edges of her vision began to grow cloudy, and then everything went black. She wished she had Cal's lantern, because it had cast enough light the night before that she hadn't been frightened, and not being able to see anything in the middle of the day was scary. Of course, having his lantern would mean she'd have Cal too, and if she'd just let him come up and clear her apartment, this wouldn't have happened.
She opened her mouth to call out for help, but only one word came out…"Ranger."
