Thanks to Wulfeh, Aven, and Seru for helping me finally get through this chapter!
The Hardest Thing
Chapter 11
Futatsu dropped the sweaty turban back onto Piccolo's head and fumed in silence as he and the boy spoke. The pitch of Gohan's voice raised an octave or so which indicated a possible question. She made a mental note of how he finished his sentence and then listened to Piccolo's reply: a short, stern word followed by more talking. The two continued to talk and Futatsu couldn't shake the paranoia that she was the subject of the conversation. Her suspicions were confirmed when Piccolo glanced in her direction.
She hated not knowing what was being said, especially when it was obviously about her; but, hitting Piccolo over the head again would only bring temporary satisfaction and wouldn't resolve anything. Futatsu decided to just drop the issue for now. She sat down and closed her eyes. She would confront Piccolo about it after Gohan had left.
The boy let out a cry and Futatsu saw look of terror spread across his face. "What's wrong?"
"Remember how you called us demons?" Piccolo's frown deepened, "I'll be an angel when you meet his mother." Futatsu's eyes widened and then she began to laugh.
Piccolo stared down at the woman in utter disbelief. He had never heard Futatsu laugh before, and the fact that she was laughing at him made it all the more jarring. King Kai he could handle, he was just an old annoying man; but, to have Futatsu laugh at him was entirely different. "What's so funny?" He demanded.
"You: angelic," She giggled, "I find that difficult to believe."
Gohan's panic gave way to confusion, "What's she laughing at?"
Me, Piccolo thought and tugged at the collar of his cape, no respect. No respect at all. "She won't be soon enough," he replied and then spoke in Namekian. "Just wait until you meet her, then you'll see exactly what I mean."
Futatsu stood up and brushed herself off, "I accept."
"What?" He cried.
Her smile reminded Piccolo of an alley cat that had just caught a mouse, "I will meet the boy's mother."
"What? No! I didn't say… I didn't mean right now, I only… argh!"
"If she is truly as bad as you say," Futatsu looked down at Gohan, who looked more confused than ever. "Then we cannot let the boy face her alone." Piccolo groaned and buried his face in his hand. He did not see this ending well, least of all for him.
"What's going on?"
"Fine! But you'll regret it. That woman is crazy" Piccolo snarled down at the blue haired woman and looked back to Piccolo, "We're taking you home."
All was quiet at the Son House. The dishes from breakfast had been washed, dried and put away. The kitchen and bathroom virtually glimmered with cleanliness. Gohan's bedroom was neat and orderly with all the books placed on the shelves and his bed perfectly made. The only movement was outside where a line of clothes swayed gently in the slight breeze. Just a little ways away from the line was Chi-Chi. She leaned back in a lawn chair with her dark eyes fixed on the drying clothes and forgotten glass of lemonade in her hand. Beads of perspiration rolled down the smooth sides of the glass and collected about the fingers of the still raging mother.
The leaves of the forest rustled with the wind, creating a low and constant 'hush' sound that reminded her of the static of a television set turned down low. Normally, such a sound would be calming to the woman; but, today it only served to aggravate her further. The wind seemed to pick up for a moment and whistled through the branches of the trees before it died back down. A voice could be heard from the front yard, "Mom?"
Gohan! Her drink fell to the ground with a light thump, its yellow contents seeping into the grass as Chi-Chi burst through the line of clothes to see her beloved baby and… him. The anger she had felt for her son's disobedience was forgotten by the very sight of that green, pointy-eared face. "You…" She growled, pointing her trusty frying pan at Piccolo, "This is your fault!"
The green giant harrumphed and crossed his arms. Chi-Chi's confidence wavered momentarily face-to-face with such a terrifying glare, but her rage allowed her to push past her fear of him. "Gohan was such a good little boy until you came along!" She screamed and Piccolo's scowl deepened, "he was quiet…"
"Mom?"
"He did his homework…"
"Mom…"
"He never strayed far from home and…"
"Mother!"
"He always listened to his mother!" The frying pan launched into the air, flying handle over pan toward the Namekian's head. Piccolo, with his arms still crossed, cocked his head to the side to allow the improvised weapon to fly past his ear. Then, an arm reached up and caught it by its handle. Chi-Chi looked again as the frying pan disappeared somewhere behind him. Piccolo's arms were still crossed, there was no way he could have caught it!
Before Chi-Chi could fully comprehend what had happened she heard a soft and lyrical feminine voice ask with elongated vowels and rolling R's: "Kalai boomska cret olu?"
"Wutt cret pana ika boomska," he replied evenly and turned to the strange looking blue-haired woman behind him. She was tall compared to Chi-Chi with skin as green as Piccolo's, ears just as sharp and the same delicate looking antennae. "Wutt cret poli baumne."
"Baumne?" The woman chuckled.
"Mom," Chi-Chi realized that Gohan had been trying to speak to her. Her son looked down at the ground, his cheeks glowing with a faint hue of pink. "We have a guest: Her name is Futatsu."
The frying pan whooshed past Piccolo's ear and clapped to a stop behind him. "What weapon is this?"
"It's not a weapon," Piccolo replied and looked back at her. Futatsu flipped the utensil by its handle and rand her slender fingers across the flat surface of the pan. "It's for cooking." He risked a glance back at Chi-Chi and felt a secret sense of satisfaction. Just to see the woman's jaw drop had almost made the whole trip worthwhile, almost.
"Cooking?"
"Mom," Gohan blushed, "we have a guest: Her name is Futatsu."
At the sound of her name, Futatsu smiled and offered her a slight bow. "H-hello, n-nice to meet you." Chi-Chi managed to stammer out.
"She doesn't understand Japanese, mom." Gohan explained.
"Oh…" Chi-Chi blinked.
"You are afraid of this woman?" Futatsu asked in disbelief.
"Afraid," Piccolo looked back down at the human mother, "of her? Hardly."
'Afraid' was an extreme term, 'cautious' was a little more accurate but still a bit strong. Chi-Chi annoyed him and she had made her hatred for him abundantly clear; (it didn't help, of course, that he had taken Gohan away for training, but that was beside the point). She had a tendency to fly off the handle at the smallest of details, especially where her son was concerned; and, although her power paled in comparison to his own, Chi-Chi was still one of the strongest women on Earth. Perhaps 'cautious' was the best word to use. Chi-Chi didn't need strength: she had the unique ability to cow even the strongest of fighters into submission, even her husband was frightened by her wrath.
"Ah," Futatsu continued to grin, "if not the woman, then it is this you are afraid of."
"What?" Piccolo snapped, "of course not! Don't be…"
With a single, smooth motion, Futatsu swung the pan towards his head. He stiffened, braced for the impact, but it never came. When he opened his eyes, he found the flat of the pan barely an inch away from his nose. The Aeridin chuckled, "I would never hit you with something like this, Piccolo," she said and pulled the frying pan away from his face. Piccolo let out the breath that he didn't even know he was holding, "your face would dent it."
A snicker caught Piccolo's attention. Chi-Chi no longer wore an expression of shock, but bit her bottom lip in a lame attempt not to laugh. He turned back to Futatsu and snarled, "You only wanted to come here to humiliate me!"
"Of course not, I wanted to make sure the boy was in good hands." Futatsu replied with a grin, "This was just a bonus." Piccolo's agitation rose as her words echoed in his mind, but he bit back his retort. He knew that she was teasing him, but the less he argued with her in front of Chi-Chi, the better.
"Here, I believe this is yours." Futatsu held the pan out to her with both hands and Piccolo felt his blood freeze.
"Hey! Don't give it back to her!" He hissed, but Chi-Chi had already accepted it. Damn!
"Thank you, uh, Miss Futatsu." Chi-Chi replied and eyed her son, "I thought… you said that there were no female Nameks."
"Yeah, about that," Gohan laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "You see…
"She's not a Namek," Piccolo spoke quickly, "She's an Aeridin, there's a difference." The last thing he needed was for Chi-Chi to know the truth, especially before Futatsu. Gohan started to speak, but Piccolo shot him a glare.
"That's funny," Chi-Chi placed her hands on her hips and stepped up to inspect the Aeridin more closely. Futatsu smiled back, but after being with her for over a week, Piccolo could tell it was a bit forced. "Why does she look almost like a Namek?"
"Why do Saiyans almost look like humans?" Piccolo replied. Now, what was it that Futatsu had said earlier? "It's a big universe out there, has it ever occurred to you that some races happened to evolve in similar ways?"
"I hadn't thought of that…" Chi-Chi's cheeks turned magenta.
"Well, now you have," Piccolo sneered, "so drop the subject."
The pink blush faded away and Chi-Chi pointed the frying pan up at Piccolo's face. "Now you listen here! I don't care if your girlfriend is here…"
"She's NOT my girlfriend!" Piccolo nearly roared, he should have known that Chi-Chi would make such a stupid assumption. Futatsu winced and side stepped away from him and muttered something in Aeridi that he couldn't fully understand.
"Well, whatever she is then!" Chi-Chi waved her hand towards Futatsu. "She can stay, but you…" Chi-Chi stopped and looked down, Gohan was tugging on her sleeve. "What is it, sweetie?" Piccolo took the moment of distraction to move out of melee range.
Gohan pressed his fingers together and mumbled, "Well, I was kind of hoping that I could help teach Miss Futatsu Japanese. You see, she's new here, and she's going to need all the help she can get."
"Teach her Japanese?" Chi-Chi looked up at the woman now standing behind her son and then back down at Gohan. She smiled, "Well, of course you can teach her, sweetie!"
"Really?" Gohan's face brightened, "Gee, thanks Mom."
"Provided that it doesn't interfere with your regular studies," Chi-Chi replied crossing her arms, the frying pan still in hand. Piccolo secretly marveled at how she never managed to hit herself with it. "You're still far behind, and you can't forget your chores either."
"Yes, mom…" Gohan moaned.
"And he," she shot a quick and angry glare at Piccolo who mirrored it right back, "is not to come inside, do you understand?"
"Uh, huh…"
"Now, go finish your homework!" As Gohan hurried inside, Chi-Chi turned her attention back to Piccolo. "The only reason why I'm allowing you to stay is so that Gohan can help your… your friend, here. This isn't going to be a continuous thing, got it?"
"Painfully so," Piccolo replied and watched Chi-Chi march into the house. "Now do you see what I mean?"
Futatsu shrugged, "She does not seem that bad, she just doesn't like you."
"No kidding."
"What exactly happened, if you don't mind me asking?"
Piccolo did mind. "Let's just say that I did a lot of things before I was, as you put it, 'not so evil'." He explained, "But never mind that for now, Gohan's going to help me teach you Japanese." And that meant more Chi-Chi.
