Rule #101

Whoever is responsible for this, STOP bringing home stray animals!

(Ed's got like six dogs in his room)

(And there's a hamster family in my new boots)

(And why is there a seal in the bath-tub?)

oOo

Rule #102

Mentioning Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy around certain military people isn't a smart idea

(Both Armstrongs are convinced that Santa is a pedo)

(And the Easter Bunny is a drug lord)

(Let's not even get started on the Tooth Fairy)

oOo

Rule #103

Don't answer questions with yes and no.

"Did you go to work today?"

"Yes and no."

"Did you talk to Bradley?"

"Yes and no."

"Did you set Ed on fire?"

"Yes and no."

(He was asking for it)

(Mustang was more then happy to help)

oOo

Rule #104

If caught doing something bad, telling people that Hohenheim said you could is not allowed.

(Like trying to feed your enemies to Gluttony)

(Or baiting Selim so Pride comes out to play)

(I'm an idiot, okay?)

(I thought we established that like three guidelines ago!)

(Fourth wall break FTW!)

oOo

Rule #105

Pelting people with Skittles and yelling " TASTE THE GODDAMN RAINBOW! " isn't allowed.

(It's also a waste of perfectly good Skittles)

(And then Selim picked them up off the ground and ate them)

(Ewwww)

oOo

Rule #106

Mentioning Pedobear leads to being locked up for personal safety. DON'T DO IT

oOo

Rule #107

Not everyone likes a rugby-tackle-hug

(Like Izumi)

(Sig was not happy when she puked up blood)

(What?)

(I was just super excited to see her!)

oOo

Rule #108

When bored, don't transmute something to a life-sized version of Angry Birds

(I brought a whole new meaning to the phrase 'food fight' one lunchtime)

(Bradley was not impressed)

oOo

Rule #109

Following rule #108 , don't transmute something to resemble a Quidditch pitch

(We had no brooms, so we used alchemy to platform us around the courtyard)

(It got real ugly real fast)

oOo

Rule #110

Don't talk about things you do in video-games as if it's real

(I was telling Ling about Assasin's Creed)

(Al overheard)

(He gets nervous around me now)