A/N: Hello all I know, I know, I haven't updated in, like, forever. Copious apologies to all of you (and to those of you who have been DM'ing me-I'm not getting my notifications!). I finished posting a chapter to another one of my fics a couple of weeks ago, and when I said it drained me dry I didn't know I meant it literally! I think I fried my synapses, because I haven't written anything worth reading in weeks! But then this (admittedly short) chapter started taking shape, and I'm very, very pleased to finally be able to share it with all of you!

"Well, this is it. Home sweet home." Stepping back, I waved Reggie into the dark living room.

"It's….nice." She sounded about as psyched as I had been about the first apartment I swiped after I died. Looking around my house, I tried to see it the way she would. What I saw made me cringe. All right, so the lady that had it before she croaked and Mason took over had been, like, a million years old. And except for the giant walk-in closet we'd put in Daisy's rooms about six months after we moved in so we wouldn't have to share (I swear to God, the woman had more clothes than Macy's) and a bigger fridge so Mason would have a place to put his beer, we hadn't done anything with the place. The same hand-crocheted afghan was still over the back of the couch, the doilies Daisy nagged me to bleach every Sunday were still on the tables.

The nude mermaid carved out of wood Mason had grabbed at a yard sale sat in the middle of the room. Wonder how loud Mom was going to scream when Reggie told her about it (and she would, just to piss her off) because it was WAY too heavy to haul out of the house to protect what was left of my baby sister's virgin eyes. She was just going to have to grow up and get over it. There was a lot of that going around these days.

"You'll be crashing in my room." Bending down, I scooped up the handle on the massive suitcase she brought with her. Jesus Christ, how long was she planning to stay? I had a horse step on me in summer camp one time. Pretty sure it weighed less than Reggie's portable closet. "Daisy's got an air mattress in her room for when Roxy gets too drunk and ends up passing out over here. It's all yours."

"Um…thanks?" Reggie looked around again, her nose scrunching up just a little. "It's cute. Seriously. Very….homey." She'd pulled her hair back in a Pocahontas version of the pigtails I was used to seeing her in, and with one of those stupid little rosebud halter tops that would have made me look like a Strawberry Shortcake blow-up doll and puke pink shorts, she looked like she was ten years old again. Except for the breasts. I was going to ask Rube to drop a note to Upper Management asking why Reggie got all the breasts in the family. It really wasn't fair. Unless mom let her get a boob job. That really wasn't fair. I'd begged for years. If she let Reggie pump up her bra size, I was waiting for Halloween. Then I was going to haunt her ass.

"Thanks…I think."

"Hey Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, who's this?"

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I didn't know Mason was home. I know, I know, I couldn't hide Reggie from him forever. But it seemed like she should have at least had time to unpack before she had to meet my perverted, alcoholic roommate. "She's cute," he added lasciviously, walking backwards to circle her like a shark. "Can I keep her?" His scruffy jean jacket, ratty-assed jeans and some holey t-shirt left over from the 60's that could probably still give you a contact buzz if you looked close enough made him look like the kind of guy mom would have sent to prison just for looking in our direction.

Of course, Roxy had to pick that precise moment to walk in, proudly sporting her badge, her mace…and her gun. Gee, the gang's all here. Wonder where Daisy was? I couldn't help a quick smile when I realized George's leash wasn't on its hook. Well, that answered that question. He must have been lonely, and since Daisy didn't work for a living like some of us did, he probably licked her ankles until she agreed to take him out.

"Mason, leave that girl alone before I have to plug you." Roxy spun the 9mm on her finger before blowing an imaginary puff of smoke off the top. "Ah!" she said when he opened his mouth. "Just give me a reason." Turning to my sister, Roxy smiled and stuck out a hand. "You must be Reggie. Rube told me you were on your way over, and I should come over and threaten to shoot Mason before he started giving you a hard time."

"I'm not giving her a hard time," Mason protested. Then he stopped and thought about it for a minute. "Not that I couldn't give her a hard time. If she wanted me to. I'm perfectly capable of giving a girl a hard time, right Roxy?"

Roxy just rolled her eyes. "Don't pay him no mind, sweet pea. He tried to lobotomize himself before he died. Unfortunately, he only did half the job. If he'd have done the whole thing he could have just been another brain-dead body in the morgue, and the rest of us wouldn't have to put up with him."

Oh boy. I wasn't sure what was creepier, that Roxy, who didn't like anybody the first sixteen times she met them, was practically fawning all over my little sister, or that Rube apparently already knew about it and had sent Roxy over to make Reggie feel welcome. Reggie. Who he didn't really want me to have anything to do with, even if Upper Management had more or less railroaded him into dealing with it. Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, I started patting my pockets. I wouldn't put it past him to have me bugged, just for the hell of it.

"Ah." Reggie politely shook Roxy's hand, but between Mason practically slobbering all over her shoulder and Roxy standing there flashing a badge, the poor kid was terrified. I figured introductions were in order. Then she'd probably still be terrified, but at least it would be for the right reasons.

"Reggie, this is my friend Roxy. Roxy, Reggie."

"What about me?" Mason whined. "I'm George's friend too. Her very, very good friend. Practically family. Really."

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms over my chest and muttered sullenly, "The jackass is my roommate Mason. Mason, this is my sister Reggie. If you hit on her again, I swear to God you will be eating our own testicles. Do you hear me?"

"Yes ma'am!" Mason snapped me a salute, then turned and lifted Reggie's fingers to his lips. "Madamoiselle Lass, it's my very great pleasure."

Let it never be said that Mason didn't know how to kiss copious amounts of ass. I wasn't sure whether to laugh of bang my head into the wall when Reggie flushed and started flirting back. Sure, Mason was charming. At first. She'd learn.

"Listen, Mason, I'm going to get Reg settled in. Why don't go find a hole and like, lick yourself or something?"

There are some serious downsides to immortality. Once upon a time, Mason would have actually had the decency to be offended by that. Now he just shrugged, bending down to start playing with the zipper on Reggie's bags. Before I could pick up the bag and beat him into blissful unconsciousness with it, Reggie grabbed my shoulder.

"George," she said softly, her voice quivering just a little. "What the hell is that?"

Following her gaze, I flinched when I saw the dark shape hanging on the outside of the window, trying desperately to wedge its fingers through the screen. Well shit. This day just kept getting better and better.