Chapter 11

I fastened my black trousers. I buttoned up my black shirt. I did my black tie perfectly. I secured my black robe over my shoulders and tied my black shoes. My whole life, people had given me black clothes for gifts. Up until Hogwarts, when they suddenly decided I couldn't use too much green. But still, the black ones were my favorite. As soon as I was allowed to buy my own clothes, I had bought nothing but black clothes. Nobody ever questioned this, no one thought it was a cause of concern, and I was glad at least one of my decisions wasn't questioned. But I had absolutely no explanation as to why I liked black clothing so much. It wasn't even my favorite color. Dark blue. But when it came to my personal look, I couldn't stir away from black.

I sat in my bed and polished my wand with a soft tissue and then used the wand to send the used tissue to the trashcan. I combed my hair with another flick of my wand and stood up, decisively walking towards the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. It was the best I had looked since…I couldn't even remember when. My eyes were still sunken, my skin slightly grey, and my form too lanky to be considered strong, but I sort of felt like it. Strong. And scared at the same time.

I cast a disillusionment charm on myself before leaving and hoped it was strong enough to last at least until I found another hiding place in an alcove or broom cupboard. The Room of Requirement was far and I couldn't afford to be seen. Not this time.

It was already four o'clock, so Dumbledore probably already left with Potter, just as Snape told me. This was the moment I had been preparing for since last year. This was what my future depended on.

The halls were particularly empty, which played well for me, but made me feel cold and afraid. I reached the seventh floor corridor and stood before the wall. I closed my eyes and wished, for the last time, for a place to hide my secret. As the door opened, I felt a sudden breeze pass by me, making my shiver violently and turn around. It was as if someone had suddenly sprinted behind me, but making no noise at all. I turned back again and entered the room, feeling the doors close behind me. I took in the musky smell of the room; a thousand years of hidden crap. It probably had a self-cleaning charm, or it would be impossible to breathe.

I approached the cabinet and placed my hand on it and felt a tingling of magic travel through my arm. It was ready. Or, as ready as it would be. Exactly like me. I slowly started to murmur the spell that would activate it, but without doing the wand work yet. I was too nervous and my mind could fail me any second. I needed to remember this just right.

After a few tries, I was done. I raised my wand, closed my eyes and repeated the spell once more, pointing at the cabinet and gripping my wand tightly, feeling the magic flow through it.

"So this is it," A voice whispered behind me, making me jump higher than I thought was possible, and I nearly knocked over the cabinet. My heart was hurting for the speed at which it was beating, and I lost all the air in my lungs when I realized it wasn't just any voice.

I glanced at the direction of the voice but there was nothing there. A million possibilities raced through my mind and in a split second, she was there. Well, just her head, floating just a meter from me. She was crying, her eyes big and upset, accusing me.

"What the bloody hell," I exclaimed and she proceeded to remove the rest of the fabric covering her body and appearing whole in front of me.

"It's a vanishing cabinet isn't it?" Her voice was broken but still loud.

"Fuck…fuck, Granger you have to get out of here!" I started to panic because they would be here any second and if they saw her…oh no. I reached towards her to grab her but she avoided my hands.

"I can't believe you went through with this….I…Who are you bringing here, Draco?!" She screamed I felt coldness in my stomach. I had to hide her; she couldn't die because of me. She wouldn't. I had the sickening feeling that I would fight them if they tried to harm her. That would be the end for both of us, but I couldn't shake the feeling.

"Please, Hermione, fuck, you have to hide right now! They…they can't see you,"

"Who are they Draco? What have you done?!" She screamed even louder, tears decorating her lashes.

I quickly grabbed her shoulders, trying to make her stand still.

"I will tell you everything. I swear. It's gonna be okay. I just need you to hide," I was cut off by the cabinet shaking behind us. "Fuck. Fuck. Please, just do it and it'll be alright, I promise. Please, Hermione…If I ever meant something to you…just trust me one last time," I pleaded with all my strength, my heart stuck on my throat.

Her big eyes were red and glassy. The cabinet was rattling. I was desperate.

"If they see you…" My own eyes watered at the thought and it was impossible to stop it. "I can't let it happen, Hermione…and they will win. I can't take them. I can't defend you…I swear to god, if I could…but I can't. They will kill us both and then…I can't let it happen, I love you and you won't die because of me. You need to hide right now…I can't, I can't, I can't…" I kept repeating this and shaking my head desperately, trying to get a hold of myself and I suddenly felt her grip on my arm.

I stopped talking and looked at her. She wasn't crying anymore, but she was serious. She bent down and picked up the fabric that was at her feet, and with one last look, she pulled it over herself and disappeared. I looked at the spot, knowing she was there, knowing she could see me and nodded as I removed the tears from my face. Fuck, she was going to kill me. I took in calming breaths and stood straight before the cabinet, rattling with more force now.

The door creaked open.

Her long and black boots stepped over first. Her smile was wide and maniac when she saw me and a shiver went down my spine.

"My dear Draco…" She whispered, walking over to me as someone else stepped outside the cabinet. She hugged me, her long hair covering my face. I tried my best to look normal. She pulled away and looked into my eyes. She pouted.

"Aw, don't tell me little Draco is nervous…you have done so well, dear. He will be pleased…" Her cold voice made me want to cry even more, but I cleared my throat and answered.

"I'm not nervous, just tired. Is everybody out yet?" I asked, looking past her at the cabinet. About six Death Eaters had walked through the cabinet and were now standing in front of us, smiling, or simply contemplating the place. Most of them probably went to Hogwarts at some point or another. Bellatrix laughed excitedly as she joined the others, who were now all looking at me.

"You know the plan. I will go first and wait for Dumbledore at the Astronomy Tower. You will wait until after he arrives, we need the element of surprise so,"

"Yes, yes," Bellatrix interrupted me. "We remember your little plan, Draco. Don't worry; we will keep busy until then…" She said, looking around the place with a look that could set it on fire.

"Snape will come for you when the time's right," I concluded and turned around, giving a meaningful look to the spot where Hermione disappeared, hoping she was still there, hoping she'll understand, hoping she'll follow me.

I walked outside of the room, leaving the door open for a few seconds more than I needed to, before letting it close on its own. Hermione removed the fabric once again and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her behind me as I began running "Come on!" I explained and she followed.

We ran in the direction of the Astronomy Tower, but before we could reach the staircase, she pulled me to a stop.

"Draco! Wait!" She exclaimed, her eyes desperate, her voice rasped. "You need to tell me what's going on!"

"I will, just…we need to get up there, no one can see us together, not yet, I don't trust them, I don't know if they'll stay there like I told them to…" I explained and began pulling her again, running up the stairs as fast as I could.

When we reached the top, it was empty just like I hoped it would be. We still had a little time. Just a little more.

I was breathing fast as I finally released my grip on her wrist.

"Tell me what you've done…Draco," Her voice was just as impatient and angry as it had been before and she looked expectantly at me, still catching her breath.

I avoided her eyes as I began talking "For the past 9 months, I have been reconstructing a magic vanishing cabinet in the Room of Requirement,"

"To bring Death Eaters into the school…I bloody knew you were up to something bad…I knew it and I didn't stop it…you…you…" She interrupted me and I began to feel anger bubbling inside me.

"Could you just let me finish, Granger? Fuck, if you really did know it how come you didn't stop me earlier?" I spat and she frowned.

"I couldn't. I tried. I followed you, I searched for every clue that you might have left, I even tried to decipher those books you were reading…but I couldn't…" Her voice was low and she didn't meet my eyes.

"You followed me?" I was genuinely shocked. "Is that why you spent time with me? To try and 'decipher' my plans?" I asked offended and she shook her head.

"No…I mean…at first, yes. But then, no," She raised her head and looked at me. "Don't give me that look, it wasn't like that. I was only trying to prove to Harry that you weren't doing anything wrong,"

"Ah, yes, of course it was all thanks to Potter almighty. Tell me, did the three of you got a kick out of sharing my personal life details? Did you sit around with them and told them about what I did every day, after you stalked me? Did you mention the way you started seducing me in order to get close to me? Did you disclose our conversations and laughed about them? Did you told them about how you planned to shag me to get information?!" I spat angrily and she was crying again.

It was all a charade, and the worst thing was…I couldn't even tell her I had been the honest one. We were both fucking liars.

"I never told anything to anyone. You are my best kept secret, Draco Malfoy. Because as much as I wanted to believe I was doing all those things in order to find out about your plans…I couldn't. It's a lie I have been trying to feed myself for these past months. But I didn't do them to find out anything. I did them because I wanted to. Because you made me fall in this bloody mess of lies and secrets and broom cupboards. So fuck you if you think any of those things were a game to me. I might have lied and had hidden intentions with you before, but that was over months ago! You were the one who has lied right until this very moment, right now. Here we are, hiding from a bunch of Death Eaters as you wait for Dumbledore, and then what? Kill him? Is that what you plan to do? Is that what you have been trying to do?" Her voice cracked and I felt sick to my stomach.

"It's what I have to do! I never wanted any of this! Don't you understand? I have to do this!" I yelled and stomped over to her while exposing my left forearm to her. She glanced down and saw the dark mark and gasped.

She shook her head softly and pulled down my sleeve again. "You always have a choice," She replied softly.

"In your perfect little Hermione world, maybe. But I am not you. I am not Weasley and I am not Potter. He made it very clear…if you don't do this, your family dies. Your mother dies. You die. So yes, I am sorry for lying to you, but it was never a matter of being saved. You couldn't have done anything, I was doomed," I was very close to her face now. She seemed at a loss of words and struggling with herself to say something.

"You…you said it'd be alright. You swore it was going to be okay," She couldn't stop the flow of tears. "How can it be, if you kill him? It's never going to be alright," She hugged me after the last word and I inhaled sharply in the deep and sweet scent of her hair. I held her tightly and tried to calm her down.

"It will be okay," I said again and heard a noise in the distance. I raised my head and spotted two figures on brooms approaching the tower. I cursed under my breath. I only wished for a few more minutes with her.

"What?" She asked alarmed, pulling away from my embrace.

"I'm really sorry, Hermione." She smiled at my words and I quickly pointed my wand at her.

"Petrificus Totalus!" And she was still. She didn't even have time to be surprised, her smile was still on. I carried her away, to a small corner where nothing could hit her, took the invisibility fabric she had dropped on the floor and covered her with it.

"Again, I am really, really sorry about this. It's the only way," I said again and hid on the stairs. After a while I heard Dumbledore and Potter arrive. Dumbledore put the full body-bind on Potter as well. I breathed in deeply and stepped out.

"Draco," He said, not surprised. I pointed my wand at him and shouted "Expelliarmus!" And his wand flew from his hand.

We both were quiet for a very long time, just looking at each other. Finally, he spoke.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this, Draco. It certainly isn't fair,"

I only shrugged and nodded. I wasn't very fond of the man, but I didn't want to kill him, not even a little bit. And this moment had terrified my dreams and nightmares for more nights than I could count. I was finally here, and it was very different from what I had imagined. I imagined dread, confrontation, a fight. A battle with the world's most powerful wizard. Or so they said. I didn't care anymore. But Dumbledore wouldn't fight me. He wouldn't have fought me even if he thought I really did want to kill him. But he knew, of course. He knew even before I did that I didn't want this even for a second.

"I really wish there was another way…But life sometimes makes us drift towards unthinkable destinies. I suppose you never imagined in your wildest dreams that you and I would end up here, on an evening like this…" He continued, in his very characteristic tone.

I shook my head and looked down. My wand was still pointed at him. There were footsteps behind me, climbing up the staircase. They were coming.

I glanced up nervously and saw Dumbledore smile.

"I'm very proud of you, Draco,"

I nodded. "Thank you, Headmaster…I'm…thank you," I declared and he smiled once more before his expression became serious and sober. I turned around and saw the first few faces appear behind me. Bellatrix. Fenrir, Amycus. They all stood behind me, smiling and patting my back.

"Good job, Draco…" Bellatrix laughed as she glanced at Dumbledore. He certainly did look weaker than I had even seen him before, but that was not thanks to me.

"Good evening, Bellatrix," Dumbledore commented casually but she just kept on smiling.

"Do it, Draco. This is your time. Your moment has come…do it!" She repeated and I tried my best to look as if I was enjoying this. For a split second, I considered actually doing it. How hard can it be? They are just words, right? And for a very long time, I had convinced myself I could do it. If it wasn't with the cursed necklace, it would be with the poison. If it wasn't with the poison it would be this. Everything I had done had brought me to this moment, and it would be so easy now to complete what I started. So simple, just two words and my life would change forever.

But I couldn't do it.

"What are you waiting for? Do it!" She screamed again and I gripped my wand tighter.

Just hold on. Just one more minute. Don't let them break you.

"Calm down, Bellatrix. I'm sure we can work this out," Dumbledore said and she laughed manically.

"He was chosen. There's nothing you can do to avoid this, old man. Today, you die," She replied and Dumbledore only nodded. "Do it, Draco!" She repeated.

I heard footsteps behind me. I took in a deep breath and bit down in any desire I had to start crying.

Snape appeared next to me. He eyed me with contempt and then tore his eyes away from me. Bellatrix was laughing even harder now, watching the way Dumbledore was looking at Snape; his eyes small and desperate, his lips quivering, his voice small and broken.

"Severus…" Dumbledore said, almost inaudible. Snape stepped before me, pushing me aside with decision.

Bellatrix laugh echoed throughout the school.

"Severus…please."

"Avada Kedavra!" Snape's voice roared with a force I had never heard before. Not regret, not fear, not sadness. Just, strength.

Dumbledore's body fell down and down until I couldn't see it anymore. I felt cold all over and all I wanted to do was find her and leave. Change names. Change country. Grow old together where all of this could be forgotten.

Bellatrix jumped happily and casted the dark mark over the castle. Snape grabbed the collar of my robe in a fist and pulled me to run behind me.

"No! Wait!" I cried and he stopped surprised.

"We need to hide as soon as possible," he said. All the Death Eaters were starting to descend the stairs, casting curses and spells all around the place, destroying, celebrating.

"She's here. I can't leave her behind," I whispered as low as possible and Snape scoffed.

"Why am I not surprised," He declared and I stepped away from his grip to find her.

"Finite Incantatem!" I pointed my wand at her and she removed the invisibility fabric. She didn't even look at me. Her eyes were fixed on Snape, with such rage and fury; I thought she might make him explode with her eyes alone.

"You better explain yourself right now!" She yelled but I shushed her.

"Fuck, Granger, can you keep it down? There's a whole school full of Death Eaters!"

She gave me a side glance and relaxed for a moment.

"Snape and Dumbledore had all of this planned out. It was the only way to maintain Snape's position of trust with the Dark Lord. Dumbledore told him to do it. He asked him to," I explained and she looked at Snape again. His expression was blank, impossible to read, and he didn't care for Hermione's attitude.

"If truth time it's over, I suggest we continue with our plan,"

"How could you?!" A voice interrupted Snape and we all turned around to see Potter running decidedly towards us, his wand pointed at Snape.

Snape blocked the wordless spell and stepped in front of Hermione and me to protect us.

"Harry, no!" She yelled and tried to make her way around Snape to stop him.

"He trusted you!" Potter yelled and fired another spell, which Snape blocked easily.

"Calm down!" Snape instructed, but it wasn't until Hermione escaped and ran towards Harry that he did.

"Hermione…" He was speechless and she hugged him. "Hermione, what's going on? It was Snape! Did you see it? He killed Dumbledore, he killed him!" Potter roared with a desperation and anger that made my own chest tighten with pain.

"I know, Harry, I know," She started crying again.

"Why are you here? Did they do something to you? Did he do something to you?" He asked, pointing his wand at me this time. I scoffed.

"Please, Potter. Save it for the press, we have more important things to do now," I replied

"No, Harry! It was me, I came here…I took your cloak and I followed Draco here…"

"Draco?" Potter asked in disbelief.

"He didn't do anything, Harry. I saw it all. He wasn't going to kill him, it was all a plan, it was all…Dumbledore planned this," She managed between sobs.

Potter looked around confused.

"No…He wouldn't do that. No, I saw him kill him! Dumbledore pleaded, and you still killed him!" He yelled again.

"No, Harry. He asked him to do it. It was the only way. Don't you remember? Right before the others came in…Dumbledore let Draco disarm him. He didn't fight, he didn't struggle. He knew. He told Draco he was proud of him,"

At this, Potter lowered his wand and loosened his grip on Hermione. Snape refused to look at him.

"No…"

"Yes, Harry. Snape's on our side. And so is Draco…" She looked at me and I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. It was all going to get really hard from here. "Trust me Harry. But there are more important things right now…The Death Eaters are on the loose around the school. We need to stop them!"

"No," Snape finally spoke and we all looked at him. "I will get them out of the school, you are not to fight here, it's too dangerous,"

"But, what about us? What do we do now? What happens to Draco?" Hermione asked and looked at me.

"I'm sure Mr. Potter knows what to do next. Dumbledore left him with an important task," Potter looked absolutely devastated and Hermione was supporting him with one arm.

"As for Mr. Malfoy…I will escort him to a safe place for now. It's too dangerous for his true allegiances to be revealed now, so if you know what's best, you will keep that information to yourselves,"

Hermione couldn't stop looking at me with desperate eyes and my stomach was all in knots. I knew eventually we would have to separate, no matter the choice I make. It was just my doom.

Potter nodded and started walking towards the railing.

"Do not torture yourself, Mr. Potter. There will be time for mourning,"

Snape glanced between Hermione and me, still looking at each other, and I swore I heard the faintest sigh from his mouth.

"Come on, Mr Potter. I'm sure there will be plenty of people who will be thrilled to see you trying to curse me. I might even pretend you hit me…once," Snape declared as he moved towards the stairs. Potter went to follow him.

"Sir?" He asked, confused.

"You might want to start acting angry towards me again. We need to keep up the appearances, Potter."

Potter smiled very slightly and nodded. He turned around to look at Hermione.

"Don't worry, Harry. I'll be right there," She assured him and he eyed me up and down before nodding and following Snape.

"Just don't try to use my own spells against me, Mr. Potter," I heard Snape tell him, his voice slowly disappearing as they went down the stairs.

Everything was an act. Everybody was always up to something.

I walked towards her when we were alone. I touched her cheek.

"I'm sorry," I said, again.

"I know. I just thought…after all of this, maybe you wouldn't have to leave,"

"There is no other way. I don't like it either,"

She nodded and stepped closer, the top of her head grazing my chin.

"If you would have told me sooner," She began but I shook my head because I knew where this was going.

"Nothing. You wouldn't have been able to do a thing. This is bigger than us. No matter what I chose, it was always going to end up badly. It was always going to end up with me, leaving,"

She shook her head this time. "No. It's not the same. If you had killed him…you would still be leaving. But it wouldn't be like this. We wouldn't be like this," She hugged me.

"I guess. I just don't…want to leave you. I don't know what could happen. I need to see you again," I hugged her hard and felt her tears soak my robes.

"We just need to keep making the right decisions. And we will see each other again. I promise, Draco,"

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep away from you. No matter what happened, something always pulled me right back here. And because you have changed, so much,"

I scoffed and she pulled away a little to look at me eyes.

"It's true. You're not the same person I knew a year ago. And I know you don't believe it, but I think you're worth it. You have shown me you are. So, as long as you want it too, I will fight for this. I will fight for you,"

I kissed her hard on the lips. My hands holding the sides of her face, my mouth trying to remember every last bit of feeling and taste. She fisted my robes and pulled me closer. We kissed until I could no longer breathe. We kissed for minutes and for centuries and in a moment, I didn't even care if someone walked in on us.

We pulled away, but it was too hard not to remain close, touching, feeling.

"I will fight for you too. I was about to anyway. Down in the Room of Requirement," I said breathlessly.

She giggled. "Really? You would have done that?"

I shrugged. "We would have died. But yes,"

She hugged me harder and I would never get sick of her smell, her skin, her small frame pressing up against me and changing me in every fundamental way.

"I think…I have to go. Snape probably already rounded up the rest of the Death Eaters…" I explained and she looked hurt and smacked me softly on the arm.

"Don't say that! You're not like them. It's not 'the rest'. It's just them. You're different,"

"I guess so. I have you," She smiled wider, and I really wanted to smile too, but I was too upset about having to let her go to do anything of the sort.

"I will owl you. Maybe eventually you could escape and join us," She said hopefully and I finally laughed.

"Yes, a fabulous mission quest with you, Potter and Weasley. I'm sure they'd be thrilled,"

She giggled again. "It wouldn't be that bad…"

"At least it sounds better than weeks or months of running around the country with Snape,"

We both smiled and looked at each other again.

"Fuck, Granger. I'm gonna miss you. You enchanted me. You're evil,"

"Look who's talking! You had me sneaking around the school all year!"

"Yes…I'm gonna miss that too,"

A loud noise downstairs made us jump.

"Fuck. I better go. I'm sorry. I…I'm going to miss you so much," I said, trying to contain all the emotions in. I already told her that I loved her, but I was so desperate for our safety, I didn't think about it. I wasn't sure if I really loved her or not, I hadn't thought about it, but at least my subconscious did.

"Me too. Write if you can when you're safe. And try not to be too long…I…" She cried and I hugged and kissed her one last time.

"I know. You too,"

I pulled away and walked to the staircase. I looked at her one last time.

"Don't go down until you know it's completely Death eater free. Find Potter. And…be safe," I smiled and she nodded.

"You too," Her voice cracked from the tears.

I tried to memorize everything once more and then I finally turned around and left.

I wished I could make her come with me.

I wished I could go with her.

But more than anything, I wished we had one more chance to be alone in the Restricted Section, with nothing but ourselves to worry about. A time and a space to be us.

That night was the moment I realized… Not only was Hermione Granger not ugly at all. Not only was she not boring in the least. She was also completely mine. And I was completely hers.