A/N: Thank you for all your comments, I do read and appreciate all of them even if I don't always respond to every one. It's really what keeps me going, knowing you guys all really like it. Mostly I started this for myself, but it's always nice to have people enjoy it too.
Back to Konoha again (I know a lot of people were really looking forward to what Obito was proposing, but… it'll take a bit) *laughs evilly* Plus it was getting a little depressing, so I needed some fun! ;)
Warning: Team 7 antics, and terrible puns.
Enjoy~
Konoha
Team Seven relaxed in one of the many trees populating the village of Konoha near the Hokage tower. They had the perfect view of the top of the buildings many shinobi used as a platform to jump to the window of the tower. It was a nice day, a bit windy and hot, but nothing that was unusual in the Land of Fire. There was a flash of movement, and a sudden panicked screech that broke through the tranquility of such a day. A shinobi had tumbled off the roof and fallen to the ground in the middle of the street. He jumped up, embarrassment clear on his face as he disappeared yet again to jump to the tower, only to slip on the windowsill and catch himself on the walls of the tower. When he stepped on a certain spot however, he was sprung straight off the wall and flung far away, his scream echoing after him.
Naruto and Sakura laughed, Sasuke smirked widely. "That's the fourth this hour," The Uchiha stated. "Pay up."
"Che, lucky guess," Naruto grumbled as he passed a few hundred ryo over.
"You're already rich, don't know why you need more." Sakura commiserated, but eventually passed her money over as well. "It was so close to the end of the hour I thought I'd win."
"Hn," Was all he replied, but looked at the money and back at them pointedly. "I also bet extra for the second trap."
"Dammit, hoped you'd forget that."
Sasuke put on a haughty air, "An Uchiha never forgets what they're due."
"You're due a beating, that's what you're due," The blond grouched as he eyed the place the chunin had disappeared from. "My clone's resetting the original traps, anything to add?"
Sakura shrugged, "Maybe instead of all springs, that strange glue you were tampering with last night?"
"Heh, but then we'd have random shinobi stuck all over the side of Hokage tower, I dunno if the old man'll take that well." The thought of it made Naruto giggle.
"Genjutsu to conceal their presence?" Sasuke suggested, "Timed to dissipate after an hour along with the glue?"
"Next time," Naruto grinned, "Gotta work a few kinks out. Good input though, bastard, I'll make you a master of pranking yet."
"Tch, like I need your help."
"I'm the one who came up with the sliding roof tiles."
"And who was it that made the idea work?" He bit back, onyx eyes flashing with amusement and faked hatred. "Definitely not a dobe like you."
"You—!"
"Boys, boys, boys," Sakura placated, expression even. "You both think you're more important to this operation, is that correct?"
They glared at each other then nodded.
"Well… you're both wrong. It's clear that I'm the most important," Sakura sneered good-naturedly, flipping her hair over her shoulder. They both looked like they were about to protest but she cut them off, "Who's the one that set sensei up for therapy?"
"You," They echoed together, looking grumpy.
"And who's the one that makes the flawless area widegenjutsu that lets you set the traps up unnoticed in the first place?"
"You."
"Who's the most gorgeous?"
"Yo—Hey!" Naruto shouted.
"Hn."
Naruto nodded at Sasuke, "He's totally right."
"What?!" Sakura yelled, "I have waaay better hair than Sasuke does!"
"Hn." He eyed her hair skeptically. Sakura gasped, clearly understanding.
The blond laughed, clutching his stomach, "He's gotcha there. If it weren't for the duck butt style, he'd have ya beat." That earned him a glare from Sasuke. Naruto noticed and shrugged, "It's totally true. Look," His hand reached out before the other could dodge and flicked the hair on the back of Sasuke's head. The hair bounced before settling back into his signature style, pointing vertically from his head.
Sakura had to cover the snorts coming from her mouth, "I—Ahahaha," She struggled to finish her sentence, "I never—ahaha, never noticed that."
"At least my hair's not pink. I'm surprised you got through stealth training."
A pink eyebrow rose, "If Naruto passed it looking like a fucking orange I think it'd be sad if I couldn't manage the same with only a head of pink hair." Sasuke took that in, then hummed grudgingly in acceptance.
"Oi! What is it with you two and picking on my outfit?! Orange is a youthful color!" As soon as the words came out of his mouth he cringed.
Sakura and Sasuke stared at him, "Don't ever say that again, or we'll burn that damn thing and every scrap of orange clothing in the village."
"Every scrap," Sasuke added again for emphasis, voice dangerously low.
"Ugh, deal. I think Lee has rubbed off on me more than I thought," Naruto grimaced. "If I say that again you have my permission to do your worst." When they got evil looks in their eyes, Naruto may have regretted that specific wording a little.
Another two hours passed as they bickered playfully, switching up the trap's placements every once in a while to catch as many people as possible (and sometimes shinobi that had already been caught before – shame on them). A presence that had been with them since a bit after they started, hidden in a tree that was surrounding the one they were languidly relaxing in, disappeared. They had all realized it right away but brushed it off, as the chakra was familiar. But the disappearance made them curious.
"Where do ya think he went?"
"Dunno," Sakura replied, chewing slowly on the last of the take out they had bought. "Maybe he was summoned?"
"Why has he been watchin' us lately anyways?"
This time Sasuke answered, "I believe he finds us interesting."
"Eh? Why?"
Green eyes rolled, exasperated. "Don't be a dumbass. We graduated early, broke into his neighbors apartment, his jounin neighbor, and we've been playing pranks on the shinobi ranks for weeks now while being freshly minted genin."
"Well when you put it like that…" Naruto blinked, making a few of their special hand signs to alert them of their stalker's incoming presence.
Tenzō appeared with a quick shunshin at the end of one branch. His blank eyes surveyed them; "Hokage-sama requests Team Seven's presence, immediately." They shared a look, but eventually slipped down to the ground, said stalker following silently behind them. Sakura quickly threw away her leftovers in a bin on the side of the street and rejoined their small party.
"Yo, Yamato, how've ya been?" Naruto inquired, hands resting behind his head as he walked.
The name caused a slight twitch on the side of Tenzō's eye, "I have been doing my duties sufficiently, if that's what you're asking."
"Nah, I'm not askin' about your job, I'm askin' about you."
"I do not believe we know each other well enough for you to inquire in my personal life," Tenzō responded stiltedly.
Sakura laughed, "True enough, Yamato." Another twitch. She patted his arm slowly, "Don't be so uptight, you're acting a little… woodenly."
"Hn."
Naruto had to stifle his snicker, but wasn't able to stop his smile from spreading across his face. "Ah, don't worry Sakura-chan. I bet Yamato's just all bark and no bite."
By this point, Tenzō's eye was practically seizing. If they weren't genin, and therefore probably had no idea about his kekkei genkai, he'd swear they were making fun of him. But Yama—Tenzō dammit, was never good with human interactions in the first place, so there could be something he was missing. Thankfully they had reached the tower and were almost to the Hokage's office and he could just brush this off as his imagination seeing jokes where there weren't.
But then… the Uchiha smirked right before they entered and said, "By your leaf, Yamato."
Tenzō's mouth dropped open just as the door shut behind the three genin. Both guards at the side of the doors were amused while the one, Genma, outright laughed. Which caused Tenzō to shoot a dirty look towards both Raidō and Genma, to no effect.
"Oh my god, those kids are officially my heroes." Genma said through gasps of laughter, having to brace himself on the wall.
Raidō smirked at Tenzō's aggravated expression then paused in thought, "So why are they calling you Yamato?"
Tenzō groaned in dismay.
On the other side of the door, the three fist bumped, to the delight of the Hokage who was looking on with a smile. "Having fun?"
"You know it, old man!"
He chuckled, tapping the pipe he was smoking against his lips; "I couldn't help noticing that there has been some delay in my shinobi messengers this morning. You three wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"
"Us?" Sakura blinked innocently, "We haven't noticed anything unusual, have we boys?"
"Hn," Sasuke shrugged, while Naruto shook his head in the negative.
The older man smiled indulgently. "Of course not."
"If I may be so bold as to inquire, Hokage-sama…"
"Yes?"
The pink-haired girl looked up at him, hands clasped behind her back, "What is it that you need us for? I can't imagine most genin have a personal meeting with the Hokage often. Running a village must be busy, hard work after all."
"You are quite right. But it is the fact that you are genin that is the reason you're here." The Hokage hummed, taking a quick drag before continuing, "It has come to my attention that your assigned sensei has been inadequate. In fact, the report states that he hasn't trained you at all, and has been missing from your team meet ups every day. And just the other day filed a resignation form for his position as team leader. May I have your opinion on this matter?"
"Old man, that guy sucked!" Naruto loudly explained, and he could hear the minute shifting in the hidden ANBU's movements. It was obvious they agreed as well. "He was all weird about this bastard bein' the last Uchiha, barely paid any attention to Sakura-chan and me!" That was true. After a week or so of playing pranks on the teacher they decided to give him one last chance. They weren't completely cruel. But he had only focused on Sasuke, ignoring them even though they had proved their right to be on a team. Even Sasuke was fed up with the guy by the end of the training session.
"I see, and you two? Sasuke, Sakura?"
Sakura frowned deeply, "If you wish my honest opinion I do not believe him fit to teach anyone. Though on the surface he seemed fine, there were underlying things that I noticed."
This caused the Hokage's eyebrows to rise, "Such as?"
"He seemed to suffer from a form of narcissism, always believing his ways to be the best and refused to think otherwise. For example, he was teaching Sasuke a taijutsu form that I saw would not mesh well with his fire jutsu and fighting style and told him as such. It was a deviation of an Earth form called Firm Mountain that focuses on defense and strong foot placement. Sasuke is primarily offense, using quick debilitating strikes to take down opponents. When I explained that the taijutsu style would be more likely to work well with me, he laughed and refused to teach me."
"Yeah, yeah! He said it wasn't for little girls like her!" Naruto input, eyes hard, definitely not happy at the memory. "Jerks like that could really hurt some kunoichi's confidence."
"If I was any less confident in my own abilities, it may have set me back." Sakura stated, thinking of how she had been before Tsunade and Kakashi. If she had been like her real genin self Yakamura could very well have destroyed any chance at becoming the kunoichi she was today. "Not to mention the detestable way that he treated civilians, his comrades, and even on occasion his own superiors. It does not instill a proper respect for the chain of command in any genin to see their own sensei disregard orders."
The Hokage looked grim at this, making a note to have the man go through more tests before deciding what to do with him. It wouldn't do to have future genin take after Yakamura if what they were telling him was the truth. "And you, Sasuke? Have anything to add?"
"He held his shuriken wrong." Sasuke stated flatly. "Every time. Even after Naruto corrected him. And then tried to teach us." Naruto and Sakura snickered at that.
Hiruzen coughed indelicately, "I think that states your thoughts on the situation clearly enough. I will inform Yakamura that his resignation form has passed through, and he will no longer be sensei of your team."
"Is that all, Hokage-sama?"
Said man shook his head, "There is one other matter I must address that is in tandem with my previous line of questioning. As you are now no longer under a sensei, you three will be getting instruction from various jounin or tokubetsu jounin that can be spared, and they will cycle out every three days. They will meet you at 7am at training ground three, excluding Sundays, unless stated otherwise."
Sasuke looked intrigued, but remained passive, "Will we not be assigned a permanent jounin sensei?"
"I have already put in the paper work for your new sensei, though it may be a while before he is available as he has been out of the village for an extensive amount of time."
"Who? Who? Who?!" Naruto said, jumping on the balls of his feet in excitement. He had an idea already, but still…
"I believe you have heard of the Sannin?" When they nodded he continued, "He is one of the three, his name is Jiraiya. I've contacted him and he is on his way back to the village to pick you three up."
"Pick us up?" Sakura questioned.
"Yes, once he arrives Jiraiya will be taking you all on the road with him for a year until the next Chunin Exams. He should be here within the month, so I suggest you tell your parents Sakura, and all of you get your things in order before you leave. It will be hard on you, and there will be many difficulties ahead, so should you wish not to go, tell me now." Seeing the determination in all of their eyes, the Hokage didn't think that would be a problem, which worked well with his plans.
"Just wait and see old man! I'm gonna go on this trip and come back as such an awesome shinobi you'll beg me to take the hat, believe it!"
Sasuke scoffed, "I'm not afraid."
"No way am I falling behind these idiots, they'd be lost without me, Shannaro!" Sakura said firmly, fist clenched in the air.
"Very well, you are dismissed. Ah, and Sakura, don't forget to inform the hospital of your impending absence."
She nodded, giving him a smile before dragging the others out behind her. As they passed through the doors the two guards they knew to be Genma and Raidō sent them a smile and nod, making them all share a curious look as they left. Deciding to ignore that they made their way to the Uchiha district, which was quickly becoming their main base of operations.
Sasuke went through the entrance and pulled open the door to his living room after disabling all their traps. Throughout the months of coming back into their younger bodies Naruto and Sakura had brought more and more of their things over as they kept meeting there. When one day he had noticed he'd automatically started making all three of them bentos for their training Sasuke had thrown his hands up and sarcastically stated that they may as well live with him. The next day Naruto had brought over his futon, ugly orange clothing and Mr. Ukki, stating he had sold his apartment. Sakura was trailing behind him shamelessly, giving him a smile as she laid a pack by the entrance. And that was that.
In all honesty, a part of Sasuke had been relieved, as it had become odd for them to sleep separately after all the years they had worked together. Once they had defeated Kaguya and their village was stable, the three had taken a long trip to reform their bonds. Mostly to get away from the strange regard that everyone held them in. It had been odd for them to come to terms of the way they were treated, Sasuke with disdain, Naruto with worship, and Sakura with all the sudden marriage proposals (which had NOT pleased her teammates one bit).
There was a low table in the center, with small cushions on each side for all of them. Naruto's fuinjutsu scribbles dominating one side, Sakura's notes on medical jutsu and genjutsu next to his, while a pile of Sasuke's weapons covered the rest of it. The only other furniture was the couch against the wall, bookshelf brimming with scrolls and books, and the rolled out futons on the far side. And though Sakura had to go to her parent's house some nights, and Naruto snored like a chainsaw, it felt more like home than ever before.
Sasuke kicked through the clothes on the side, "Dammit Naruto, I told you to pick your clothes up!"
"Eh, relax. I'll do it tomorrow," He said as he plopped down, stretching across all of their futons.
"You said that yesterday." The black haired boy said through gritted teeth. "Now pick them up, or there'll be consequences."
"Whatever, Sasu-Kaa-chan."
An unholy fire burned in his onyx eyes, and he growled, "That's it!" He started flashing through the signs for a fire jutsu, aiming for the dirty pile of clothes. Naruto yelped and tackled him to the ground before he could finish, starting a tussle. Sakura calmly walked passed them into the kitchen, looking in the fridge. She knew there was one sure way to break them up easily.
"What do you guys want for dinner? We had some salmon left over, I could make—,"
Both boys burst into the kitchen and slammed the fridge closed, "No!"
Sasuke looked frazzled, "I'll make dinner! You, you… just sit down or something!" Naruto nodded along, eyes wide.
She rolled her eyes, "I make perfectly good meals, thank you."
They grimaced, and Naruto laughed shakily, "Sakura-chan's great with baking… cooking is a different matter."
"Burn dinner once and this is what I get," Sakura huffed before strolling back into the living room to settle down.
"It was more than 'burnt', we could have used it as charcoal for a bonfire."
Even if that was true, she still scowled. It didn't make sense how she always failed at making regular meals, but her desserts were divine. Oddly enough, Sasuke was the opposite, terrible desserts with good meals. "Shut up, baka. At least I'm not a complete disaster with cooking."
"Naruto, get out of my kitchen before you break something." Sasuke glared, gripping the knife he was using to slice the fish with tighter. The blond gulped and sat next to Sakura at the table in the living room.
They both watched as Sasuke started getting into his element, giving them a sense of peace. He brought a set of tea over to the table and went back to the kitchen. Then Naruto leaned over and 'whispered' to Sakura, "See, he's totally Sasu-Kaa-chan."
Sasuke spun, fury lining his movement, "I told you not to call me that!" The knife flew from his hand towards Naruto, making him squeak and run away. The Uchiha was there the next moment, his set of kitchen knives in his hands as he chased the blond throughout the house.
Doors were slammed and thumps could be heard, making Sakura sigh as she sipped her tea. The peace was nice while it had lasted.
Omake #3
"—glued my toilet shut, switched all of the drawers in the kitchen around, turned all my living room furniture upside-down and stuck it to the ceiling, hid fake and real bugs all throughout my house which made me paranoid—,"
Anko sighed, looking forlornly out the window as the idiot across her kept talking. Why was she here again? Oh yeah… she was off duty because she'd stolen Ibiki's dango again, and he'd owed Yamanaka Inoichi a favor.
"—and the absolute worst, they bleached my damn hair blond! Then I found a note stating 'you're finally a Yamanaka'" The man screeched, out of breath. "I don't even know what the hell they did, it can't turn back as apparently whatever they put in my shampoo chemically altered the pigment in my fucking hair! The medic-nin's had no idea how they did it, meaning one of those brats, most likely that girl, created a way to permanently alter hair color just to prank me!" Yakamura growled while clenching his hand as he looked up to notice the therapist wasn't even paying attention. "Did you hear me?!"
"Nahhh, not really," Anko drawled languidly, "I mean the most I did was put some notes down for prank ideas." Knowing that Inoichi would get mad if she didn't take this somewhat seriously, she added, "The kids sound fuckin' awesome to me, why not use that to further their shitty little shinobi careers or whatever?"
The man's face turned an ugly purple, which clashed horribly with the bleach blond hair he was now sporting. "You bitch! What kind of therapist ar—gerk!"
Anko had sprung across that desk faster than he could blink; twisting the scarf he wore around his neck and jerking it back, making him gurgle. She leaned down from her position behind Yakamura, whispering in his ear, "I am not a therapist, I'm a T&I operative, and only here because Inoichi wanted the day off and I was the only one available. So, unless you want me to show you my real line of specialty, I suggest you hold your fucking tongue when speaking to a lady. Got it?"
He nodded fearfully, grasping at the scarf.
"Now, I don't really give a damn about your stupid problems. But it sounds to me like you need to take that stick outta your ass. If those kids were able to get in your apartment, a jounin's apartment, prank you, and then reset your traps, it shows that the only inadequate on here is you." She loosened her hold on his scarf and hopped onto the desk, "I'm signing you up for reevaluation."
Yakamura gaped, "What?! But you can't—," One look from her silenced his protests. "I—ehem, mean of course, Mitarashi-san."
"Also, unless you're a good enough shinobi, ditch the damn scarf and cut your hair. The moment you walked in here I'd thought of twelve different ways I could strangle you…and that's only with using your hair."
A/N: You guys got a little more backstory for what happened in the other timeline, Tenzō showed up, and the Hokage has started with his plans. So far, it was a pretty fun chapter for me to write. Hope you guys liked it as well.
I have realized, Sasuke is practically the mother, Sakura the father, and Naruto the kid. Where does Kakashi fit in? lol. Maybe the eccentric uncle/grandpa?
