CHAPTER 11
I heard horses outside of my window. I ran out of my chamber into the hall expecting to see Theodred. Instead, there was Eowyn kneeling in front of the king saying: "My lord, your son is dead." I did not hear anything any more. I started to lose my ground and for a minute I thought I was going to faint. Dead. He is dead. Oh, why? Why did he have to die? No! Then Grima came out of the shadow and said something about Eomer not listening to the order and breaking a law. Suddenly a few men came out behind me and surrounded Eomer. They hit him few times and took him away. I had to be careful, for I did not want to be seen, so I quickly walked back into my room.
"Breda! Breda!", I did not see her anywhere. She came out of my bathroom, "My lady? What happened? You look like you will faint, you are so pale!", she supported me, so I would not fall and helped me to sit down.
"He is dead. Eomer came back, Theodred is dead.!", I was crying and shivering.
"What? Oh, no! My lady, I am so sorry! Can I help you somehow?"
"I want you to find lady Eowyn and ask her to come and see me. I do not know the details, I could not hear anything... But she knows. Go and find her, please!"
"No, I won't leave you here alone!", she refused.
"Breda, go, please! I need to know what happened!"
"I will, but promise me that you will stay in the chair, don't stand up!"
"I promise, just go!", I was losing my patience.
I have to know what happened! Why did they take Eomer? Where is he? What have they done to him?
After a while, Eowyn walked in with Breda.
"Lothiriel!", she said when she saw me. "You do not look well!", I did not care how I looked, I just wanted to know what happened.
"Eowyn, I want you to tell me the truth! I need to know what happened!", I continued to shiver.
"Theodred is dead. He was killed at the Fords of Isen. I am sorry.", I could feel her pain from her voice.
"Where is he? I want to see him!"
"He wanted to be buried there. Theodred and all his men who fell, are buried in the Fords of Isen.", was her answer.
"Why? He did not want to come back home to me? Is that why he wanted to be buried there?", I will never be able to describe the pain I felt at that moment. Everything has fallen on me and I did not know what to do. I felt like I was going to lose my mind.
"Lothiriel, Theodred loved you with all his heart! He just wanted to be buried where he died.", she was holding my hand.
"And where is Eomer? I saw some men took him away!", I wanted to see him so much, I needed to see him. He was the only one who could ease my pain. I wanted to be in his arms again, listening to his heart beating. I wanted him to tell me that nothing bad could happen. Oh, how much I loved him.
"He obeyed the orders and broke a law. He was sent to a prison.", she looked down in pain.
"Prison? How long will he stay there?", and then I understood. "Saruman! Of course! Theoden is not able to do anything, Theodred is dead and Eomer is in prison! There is no one standing in his way!", I stood up. I was getting angry, very angry.
"Yes, Lothiriel. It's true. There is no one to protect Rohan any more.", she sighed.
"Eowyn, I want you to show me where the prison is. I want to talk to Eomer. He was the last person to speak with Theodred. I need to speak with him."
"But it will not be easy. There are guards and no one can visit him."
"They are guarding him like he was a murderer! Do not worry about it, I have a plan.", and I was already thinking about it. And Breda was going to help me.
Eowyn showed Breda where the prison was. Then I sent Breda to visit a healer and tell him that I was not feeling well and I cannot sleep. He believed her and gave her a sleeping medicine. I took a bottle of ale from the storage room and mixed the medicine with the ale. Then I and Breda went to the prison to offer the bottle to the guards. I was hiding outside.
"We cannot drink while we are on the duty. That is the law.", they all refused.
"Oh. What duty? You call it a duty? There is only one prisoner here and he is not going anywhere. What harm could a small pint of ale do? Please, or otherwise I will take it somewhere else. Somewhere where they will appreciate such an offer. It is the best ale in Gondor. Straight from Prince Imrahil's storage room.", I was listening and could not believe. She was such a brilliant liar, very talented one. I just kept smiling and waiting. After a while, Breda came out with a big smile on her face. "They are sleeping like a babies. Quickly, before somebody will see us.", and I walked in.
The place was dark and cold. The air seemed so damp in there. It took me a while to see what I was looking for. All the doors were wide open, but one. It was locked.
"Breda, the keys!", I told her to look for the keys. "Quickly!", I was expecting to hear some noise from the cell but it was so quiet. What if they lock him up somewhere else?
It took me a while to open the door, because they were so old and it seemed like they have not been used for a very long time. I slowly walked in. It was so dark in there. There was just one tiny window on the roof and that did not let much light into the room. In the dark corner was a table and a chair. A light from a candle was shining on the table. Next to the table was a bed. And then I saw him, He was lying on the bed facing the wall. I saw his long golden hair, his muscled, big back. He is probably sleeping. My dearest! How wonderful it would be to sleep by his side and wake up by his side every morning for the rest of my life? I came close and wanted to kiss him on the cheek. But before I knew it, he turned and grabbed me by a neck. His face was full of anger and hate. I could not breath. When he saw me, he let go off me and was very surprised. "Lothiriel! What are you doing here? I could have killed you!", he was still full of anger. I was holding my throat and coughing. It hurt so much. "And who did you expect?", I asked.
"I thought it was one of the Grima's men. They tried to kill me before. But you still didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"
They tried to kill him? And what if the next time they succeed?
"I … I wanted to see you. Theodred is dead.", I was still shaking.
He looked at me, his eyes were full of sadness and guilt. "Yes, he is dead and it should have been me."
"What? I do not understand." What is he talking about?
"I was supposed to go to the Fords of Isen, not Theodred. But he wanted to go instead. He told me to go back to Edoras to look after you and Eowyn.", he turned away from me.
"But why would he do that?", I did not understand anything any more.
"Because he knew! He knew about everything, Lothiriel!", I wanted him to turn around and look me in the eyes, only he did not.
"If anything should happen to me, take care of Lothiriel. She loves you, Eomer. These were his last words to me.", finally he turned and walked towards me.
Theodred knew! He knew all this time and did not say anything!
"It is all my fault!", he said. I knew that for the rest of his life he would feel guilty. But I knew it was not his fault! It was mine.
"No, Eomer! Do not feel responsible for his death! It was me!", he did not understand what I was talking about. He took my hand and said.
"How could you be responsible for that? You were not even there!", then he was silent for a while and then he asked. "Lothiriel, what have you done?", he was angry again.
"Nothing! I …I … never wanted to marry Theodred. I was desperate, so I was hoping that something would happen, so I did not have to marry him. I ... I even wished for him to die.", those last words I said so quietly, I almost whispered. I was so ashamed and I did not want him to hear them. He let go off of my hand, shook his head and walked away from me. "How could you wish for something like that?", he could not believe what I just told him. And I could not blame him for it.
"Do you not understand? I love you! I love you more than anything in this world. I would die for you if I had to! I am so sorry, so sorry ...", I was shivering and I started to cry. I did not know what else to say. The truth is that I was desperate at the time and so many things were going through my mind. Through my tears I did not see him coming closer. I just felt his arms closing around me.
"Sh – sh – sh … please, don't cry! I know it has been so hard for you.", he tried to comfort me. Finally I was back in his arms. I was back where I wanted to be since I walked into this room. In his arms, listening to his heart beating.
"Hold me! Hold me and never let go!", I never wanted this moment to end. "What is going to happen now?", I was desperate for him to tell me that everything was well, that we can just forget everything and live happily ever after. But unfortunately, he did not. "I don't know. We just have to hope that Theoden will somehow manage to escape under Saruman's control and become a king again! That is our only hope, for I don't expect for them to let me get out of this place.", it was not what I wanted to hear but it was time to get back to the reality.
"I know that this question might seem a little inappropriate, but what about us?", I could not believe that I asked such a question. Feeling so ashamed I was looking down. He made me look at him and said. "Well, you are now a free woman. You can do whatever you want. But if you allow me, I would like to woo you.", he smiled and I blushed.
"But what about your uncle? He will not like it. I was to marry his son and now you will woo me. I do not think it is a good idea.", but there was nothing I wanted more.
"My uncle is a noble man, he will understand.", he smiled again and kissed me. Yes, yes! Be mine forever! Oh, how much I love you!
"Do you think that your father will approve?", he asked.
"My father never knew how I felt about Theodred. He thought that I loved him. I never said anything or did anything to make him think otherwise. That is why he accepted Theodred's offer. It was never a political marriage for him. And I know that if I told him the truth, he would never agreed. So, yes, I think he will approve.", and I had to kiss him again. He was looking at me all the time, he looked so happy and satisfied. And I knew that I will never ever love anyone, like I loved him.
"My lady! Quick! We have to go. The guards are slowly waking up!", Breda whispered from the hall.
"What have you done to the guards?", he looked surprised. "I completely forgot to ask you how you got here in first place.", he was looking at me waiting for my answer.
"Oh, we just gave them some sleeping medicine, nothing more.", I winked at him.
"Lothiriel, remind me, not to cross you in any way. Who knows what you would do.", and we kissed again.
"You do not have to worry about that. I would never hurt you in any way. I love you too much!" , I whispered in his ear.
"I love you too. Since the first time I saw you, I cannot think about anything else but you. I want you so much, Lothiriel!", and he kissed me so passionately. His hand was brushing my back and I had shivers all over my body. It was such an intimate moment for both of us. He picked up some of the skirts on my dress and he was caressing my leg. I was in paradise. I have never felt such a pleasure in my life. I was thinking how beautiful it would be to be in a bed with him and let him do whatever he wanted with me. And then Breda ended it for both of us. "My lady! We have to go at once! It's getting late, they will look for you!"
It seemed like I have woken up from a beautiful dream. Only it was not a dream. I was here with him, he was still holding me, kissing my neck.
"Eomer", I whispered.
"I know, I'm sorry, I let it go too far. Please, forgive me.", he stopped kissing me and was looking at me.
"There is nothing to forgive. But I have to go!", I did not want to leave him in this place alone but I knew I had no choice.
"Good night.", and we kissed again. But for this night and many nights to follow, it was the last kiss.
When I was locking the door, I had tears rolling down my face. My heart was breaking for I did not know when I will see him next or what was going to happen. It hurt so much to just leave him there.
Everything went as planned. Nobody has noticed anything so I could return into my chanber without any problems. I went straight to my bed and spent all night crying.
