Chapter Eleven: Broken Tears

"Matt turn off the light," Gabby mumbled as the light began to creep into her sleep. She waited for a second, but no motion was made to turn off the light. "Matt," Gabby called again, but there was no answer. Once Gabby opened her eyes and sat up, the memories from that last few days came flooding back and so did the pain in her heart.

Gabby immediately fell back into her bed as she stared up at the ceiling, not only did the fact that she was now alone, but now she realized that she would have to face the man that broke her heart in a few hours. As her mind kept racing with thoughts about tomorrow, time got away from Gabby. She turned and faced the clock and realized that she would be getting up in less then two hours. She reached over and turned off the light and lay back down. The rest of the night, she tossed and turned still thinking about what would happen.

Matt looked in the mirror before leaving the house, he could see the dark circles under his eyes and knew it was from the loss of sleep. The only reason for waking up today was the fact that he got to see Gabby. He had to talk to her, no matter what she said. He had to make her see that he was completely in love with her and would do anything for her. He grabbed his keys and walked out the door.

When Gabby pulled up to firehouse 51, her heart sunk to her toes, when she saw Matt's truck parked in front of the house. You can do this, Gabby kept telling herself over and over again. She took in another deep breath, "Now or never," she told herself as she opened the car door and slowly climbed out. She leaned in and grabbed her backpack from the passenger seat. Once the bag was over her shoulder, she shut the door and turned around and began her lone walk into the station.

"Gabby," she heard her name being called from behind her. Not right now, Gabby thought as she stopped in place and turned around to see Jay coming closer to her.

"What are you doing here?" Gabby asked with annoyance in her voice.

"I tried calling you, but you never called me back," Jay stated as he stood in front of her.

"I have been busy," Gabby said looking away from him.

"I know that you blame me for what happened with Matt, but I want you to know how sorry I am. I should have never left him at Molly's."

"Is that it?" Gabby asked as she folded her arms.

"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay," Jay said looking at his feet.

Gabby stayed silent for a second, "thank you," she stated.

"Hey listen, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but if you want to grab a drink tomorrow night, just to talk as friends then give me call."

Gabby nodded her head, "I will think about it."

"Okay," Jay said as he stepped back from her. "Just think about it," he said as he walked away.

Gabby watched him walk down the drive, her mind was filled with so many emotions, she couldn't think right. She shifted her weight to the back of her heals and turned back in the direction of the station. She walked through the open garage door, hoping no one noticed her. With much luck, Gabby was able to get to the locker room without drawing attention from anyone.

Once Gabby was changed, she opened her locker and put her things inside.

"Hey," She heard Matt's voice behind her.

Gabby closed her eyes and swallowed the lump that appeared by the sound of his voice. Gabby bit down on her bottom lip, trying her best to fight back the tears that threatening to fall.

"Baby," Matt's voice nearly broke as he quietly pleaded with her. "Please just talk to me."

"I can't," Gabby quietly stated without turning around. "I can't stop thinking about your hands on her or you kissing her. And I can not stop this pain that is consuming me inside and out, it just hurts too much," Gabby's tears were falling down her face.

With as much courage as she could muster, she turned around to face Matt, who had tears in his own eyes. "So please don't."

"I'm so sorry," Matt stated in disbelief as he froze in his place. "If I could take this all back, I would."

Gabby quietly nodded her head, "I believe you would, but it doesn't change what happened."

"Ambulance 61, complaint of chest pains 12443 Bellmont."

Gabby and Matt kept eye contact a moment longer, before Gabby turned around. She could feel Matt's eyes burn into her back, but she didn't dare turn around. As she made her way out onto the floor, Gabby wiped the stream of tears off of her cheek. She climbed into the waiting ambulance and drove off with Shay.

"Are you okay?" Shay asked as they turned onto the street.

"I'm fine," Gabby lied as she looked out the window.

Matt felt like the wind had been knocked out of him when Gabby walked away. The look in her eyes is what hurt the most, he could still tell that she loved him, but that she didn't trust him anymore and that it was hurts the most. As soon as Gabby left the locker room, Matt punched the locker to the right of him, how could he be so fucking stupid. He sat on the open bench and cried silently with head in his hands.

The ride back to the station was silent, Gabby was thankful for that. She didn't want to talk about how she was doing or how it was to see Matt. She just wanted to pretend that everything was okay, even if it was a minute. Once the pulled into the garage, Gabby climbed out of the ambulance and made her way to common room.

A look of disgust crossed Gabby's face as an awful smell came from the kitchen, "What the hell?" Gabby asked.

"Now that Mills is on squad, were back to drawing straws for cooking duty," Otis announced as he turned in his chair.

"Hey you guys are going to love this," Herrmann stated as he stirred the pot.

Gabby moved closer into the room, but the smell was getting to her. She quickly turned back around and left the room, without looking she hit a hard body.

"Sorry," Gabby began to say before she looked up, but once she did she was looking directly into Matt's eyes.

"It's fine," Matt said. "Are you okay?" Matt asked with concern on his face.

"Yeah," Gabby said moving quickly out of his grasp. Without another word, Gabby walked past Matt and into the bathroom. Between the smell and running into Matt, Gabby felt like her body was being pulled in all different directions. She quickly washed her face and decided to stock the rig.

"Gabby you want something to eat?" Shay asked as Gabby was walking up to her.

"No, I'm not hungry," Gabby stated. "I'm going to stock the rig."

"Oh I'll come with you," Shay said as she began to turn her direction.

"No, it's fine," Gabby rushed out. "Get something to eat and you can meet me out there when you are done."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Gabby smiled as she continued to walk away.

The rest of shift Gabby kept to herself, she was looking for anything that needed to be done around the house. Her main objective was just to stay away from Matt and anybody that would ask how things were going to between them. She knew that Matt didn't tell them and she wasn't ready to talk about it. When they had to be in the same room together, Gabby did her best to avoid him, even though she could feel him staring at her.

When shift was over, Gabby quickly grabbed her things and walked as fast as she could out of the station, she just wanted to go home and go to sleep. As she opened her car door, she heard her name being called. She didn't have the strength right now to talk to Matt, so instead of turning around, she got in her car and drove off.

Matt held his bag over his shoulder as he watched her drive away. He didn't know what he was going to say, but he had to try.

When Gabby got home, she set her things down and headed directly for her bed. She knew that sleeping would be hard, but she needed to get some before working at Molly's tonight. Once she laid down in her queen size bed, she instantly fell into a deep sleep.