Author's Note: Welcome to the (late) St. Patricks' Day chapter, everyone! :D


Chapter Nine: Mischief Making and Leprechauns

"Alice, I need help!"

I sighed in annoyance as a flash of green and orange overtook my vision and strong arms wound their way around my waist, shaking me a bit in excitement. "Let go of me you poor excuse for human life!" I shouted, wrenching myself out of the Hatter's grip. The platinum blonde wasn't fazed in the slightest as he continued grinning like an idiot.

"Wanna help me prank Ears? I've been needing to get him back for the mustard incident," he said, shrugging. I opened my mouth to protest, sensing I would end up being pranked instead of helping prank someone else but wound up getting a container for hair dye shoved in my face. "You know you want to," he singsonged, waving the bottle tauntingly in my face with a mischievous grin to match it.

"..."

"Is that a yes?"

"Fine. What are you gonna do? Trick Ears into dying his fur green for Saint Patty's Day? That sounds an awful lot like what I planned to do to him except my idea involved twenty gallons of green paint, a garden hose, some feathers, and a flatbed truck."

...

"Are you sure this'll work? I had a pet rabbit once and I'm sure Peter didn't take showers," I asked skeptically, watching as the platinum blonde swapped out shampoo bottles with the hair dye.

"You know me so well!" the Hatter cackled, grabbing my arm and dragging me along behind him to Ears' room.

"What are we doing? Is there something we're gonna do to him in his sleep?"

"Not quite. Take a look," he answered, eyes flashing with wicked merriment as he opened the door to let us in the room. Instead of seeing a room full of furniture, I found nothing. I glanced around a few moments before opening my mouth to question the madman only for Reginald's finger slip under my chin and raised my head to look at the ceiling to see the wayward bits of furniture sticking to the ceiling.

"What in the world...? Reggie, how in the name of Wonderland did you accomplish that?" I asked after a few moments.

The madman grinned, holding up a bottle with industrial strength glue. "I did it with this!" he grinned.

"Reggie! That's industrial strength glue, you dunce!" I shouted, slapping him upside the head. "After that, he'll never get it down!"

"How was I supposed to know? I got distracted by the cute little teddy bear on the bottle!" he exclaimed, pointing to the picture of a rabid grizzly bear.

"You just astound me sometimes," I sighed, turning and walking out of the room with Reggie in tow.

A few hours later...

"Reg!"

The sudden shout made us both jump as a green blur pounced on the Hatter and took him to the ground. "What did you do to the shampoo?!" the blur screeched furiously, grabbing Reggie by the lapels of his jacket and shook. My jaw dropped, seeing the green thing was in fact a Hare.

"Ears? What happened to you?!" I cried, having the decency to try and stifle my laughter at the March Hare's predicament. The Hatter, on the other hand, has no such decency and laughed outright.

"You look like a leprechaun took a crap on you!" the madman cackled, pushing himself to his feet and dumping Ears to the ground in an unceremonious heap.

"This is your fault!" Ears shrieked, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

"How do you know it was me? How do you know it wasn't Alice?" the man asked, raising an eyebrow in wonderment.

"Because I know Alice likes me enough to spare me from inadvertently dying my fur green!" the irate Hare snapped.

That night…

"Alice? May I ask you a question?"

Looking up from my activity of stacking sugar cubes into a pyramid, I shrugged. "Sure."

"If you were in my position, what would you do?"

I pondered this for a few moments before answering with, "Considering I already had paint and a suspicious liquid dumped on my head on top of him belching in my ear along with almost having crickets thrown in my face, I would make him go through that gender bending thing again. Though I can only imagine how you feel having your entire body dyed green and everything in your room glued to the ceiling with industrial strength glue."

"Yes, I suppose... wait. What? WHAT?!" with that final screech, the green Hare dashed into the house. The Hatter, who had been asleep this entire time, jolted in his seat at the scream from his friend before realization dawned on his freckled features and an evil grin found its way into his mouth.

A shrill and rather feminine scream sounded from inside the household, loud enough to scare the birds from their perches in the trees. "Reg! I will get revenge for this! I swear it!"


Author's Note: Once again, happy (late) St. Patty's Day, you guys!

Now time for the scoreboard!

Reg against Alice: 8 - 12

Reg against Ears: 3 - 6

Alice against Reg: 12 - 8

Alice against Ears: 1 - 0

Ears against Reg: 6 - 3

Ears against Alice: 0 - 1

Remember guys: if you got an idea for a prank you wanna see happen let me know as well as who's pulling the prank on who!