Thanks. I hoped that some will like the new twist I put in the story. I thought you'd all turn away. You guys rock! :D

Chapter 11

Where's Spring?

Jacob's POV

I sat here, confused.

My stomach was twisting acid knots and nausea and uneasiness and my head was pounding and exploding and burning all my thoughts into crippled nothingness as I lay down onto the forest floor, where everything looked like a painting, and I was the ugliest part of it.

No sounds.

No water running down, no wind rushing, no sounds of little creatures, squirrels, flies, bees, no nothing—just a supposed real painting for a boy like me. I let out a whisper. Calling the name that had always been in my mind, Edward Cullen's.

No sound.

The painting stayed the same, the trees were all standing tall and happy, with leaves shaded green, and bits of yellow caressing the green and the green grass under me was pricking my body but it all seemed like a scene from a movie, a painted horror movie and I was waiting for the next attack.

I screamed the name and there he was, standing, the most real creature in a painted picture and he held his hands out, helping me, looking at me like I was an entirely different person and as I looked down to see his hands on mine, my hands were pale, but my neckline was all russet and looking at the water that hadn't been far away, my face was paling but it was russet. I knew it all too well.

But I wasn't a vampire. I can't be a vampire. I was a werewolf.

Or what was I?

Edward's face was calm and I knew that he was always calm and sometimes, it made me sick knowing that he was that way and I couldn't be. He slipped a piece of paper in my hand and I looked at it.

Still feeling disabled and immobilized mentally, I opened it with two shaking hands and looked at the perfect handwriting and my stomach sloshed with uneasiness, and my head pounded with fury as I read the words that had made my heart pound in my chest, faster and faster and faster with each word.

I need to tell you something. Would you care to discuss it with a walk towards the park? It's quite important and I need to ease your tension first.

I nodded my head as I let the piece of paper fall out of my hands. He reached out for my hand and I let it fall easily, as if I had done it with him a hundred times. His body, his mouth, his heart—it was like chocolate, sweet and bitter, and I wanted to bite through, each and every bite.

When we were walking, people were staring.

I knew why.

The all so tattered and ragged boy with perfection standing next to him. How'd he do that? I didn't and they knew it. Girls blew kisses but he barely paid attention. He had his own worries and concerns and I knew none of it was about me and when we had reached the park, he sat on the bench and patted the seat next to him.

When I sat down, my first intent was to look around.

It was all the same painted picture, all over again, all the green grass that was invisibly prickling me, and I could feel it. The painted bench had its color chipped off, and it was like hard wood against my back. It was the same picture painted all over again, green leaves with yellow hints on trees and I knew that I was the same person.

The same deaf boy.

He had rolled a piece of paper on my lap and I opened it up.

Jacob, I need to tell you this.

You were supposed to be a vampire. You're not human. You're not a werewolf. Those people that have attacked you that was your family and I'm sorry to tell you this but you don't love me. You only think you do because it's your nature. You want a child, Jake. You want blood. You need to be fed…but I'll change you. I'll change you as hard as I try, Jacob Black. And I won't leave you like this.

I looked up at him and saw that he meant it, honesty in his eyes, and I knew that he didn't need to say a word to know that what he meant was real but I shook my head. I denied it because it wasn't true. I can't be a vampire. I was a werewolf. I could Phase. I could—

In the middle of it all, my stomach twisted and I found myself throwing up, over and over, feeling acid burn my throat and my head was spinning and Edward's arms were wrapped around my waist as he brought me close and pulled me on his lap, making me look at the now black sky.

I looked around.

All the same picture painted again. Just darker.

Dark green leaves on trees with hints of bright green, dark green grass that prickled, but his eyes—always remained the same, no color change, brilliant honey eyes that burned inside of my core.

And they'll always burn.

And even if this place was filled with flowers and green grass and blooming trees, I had to ask myself—where's spring? I was trapped into this icy world and no one can get me out and I was trapped into this icy world and I was freezing on the inside. I was so cold.

So cold…

I was alone.

Edward never understood how I felt. I did have feelings for him. Didn't I? What was this feeling inside of me of wanting to rip my heart out for him? What was this feeling inside of me that made me want to scream my heart out for him? What was this feeling inside of me that made me want to tear up and cry at his knees just because he told me that I didn't love him?

I was all alone.

I was scared.

What was I? Who was I? I didn't know anyone anymore. I was so into this world of horror that I didn't know anything else and I didn't know anyone else. And I was so trapped that I couldn't surge out if I tried. And as Edward stared down at me, with those never changed eyes, I knew that I was always lost and that he wanted to find me but—he couldn't.

I was reckless.

I was swerving off the road I was always going to, where everything seemed safe and never too dangerous and entering this new road where cars crashed and where hearts collided and where everything twisted in blood and I was in a deadly game I couldn't get out of and I couldn't stop playing even if it was to save my life. I wanted Edward Cullen.

so cold…

Not too bad, right?

Review?

;) Sam