So I know last chapter was hard. This one does get better. Not what I orginally thought this chapter would be, but I like the way it turned out.
Enjoy.
Tenth day of Christmas
On the tenth day of Christmas my Swan girl gave to me: ten slaps in the face.
Emma slept poorly. Dreaming of Neal and Killian and the events from yesterday. She woke, tried and sad. She drew the dresser away from her door, thinking to take a shower before the day began. She nearly screamed when she opened the her door and Killian fell through her doorway. The sight of him sleeping at her door, broke her heart.
Killian blotted awake. He leap to his feet, looking around for an enemy. He stopped when his eyes rested on Emma. He drew his hand and hook up, showing her he meant no harm. "Emma." His voice was ragged from tears and screaming. "I am sorry, Emma."
She shook her head. Closing her eyes and praying for patience. "Killian. I can't."
He hung his head. "I know, I am asking too much for another chance. All I can ask, is that I can stay here until I find another place."
Emma's heart clenched in her chest. The thought of him leaving was painful. "Sure. Take your time. I just." Tears blocked her voice. She wanted to just fall into his arms and let him sweep her off her feet and promise that the world would be alright. "Killian, why?"
He took a step towards her, cautiously as not to frighten her. He drew her in his arms, feeling her tense. "There is a catch to Neverland." He began. "You will forget everything, but what you take with you. I took rage and grief." He sighed, drawing back to look at her. She looked up at him, tears still running down her face. "It changed me. Made me into a monster. That Hook that cartoon portrays only has a fraction of my rage." He sighed. "When I left, I was able to regain control over it, but it's not perfect."
Emma slapped him. "That doesn't help, Killian."
He got down on one knee, keeping his arms around her. "Emma, I swear to you I will never take you without your permission ever again. I will always back away when you push me away. I will never touch you again if that is what you want. I will do anything if you would just forgive me a little."
She sighed. "I don't know. I just want to take a shower." He drew away from her.
"Just a shower?"
Emma frowned. "Yes, why?"
He nodded. "Because I know it can be tempting to drown yourself after something like this." He scratched his head. "The burning water doesn't help either, but I know you will try."
Killian walked away, going to his own room and breaking down. He had lost her, he was sure.
The moment the water touched her skin, Emma nearly screamed. She bite her lips as the scalding water cascaded around her. She roughly scrubbed herself with a bar of soap, before dropping it and just sitting under the spray. She didn't want to wash away his touch. As much as that bit scared her, how easily he over powered her, how simple it was for him just to take his pleasure, how perfectly contrast to how they normally were, it still didn't make her love him any less.
Under the fall of the water, she thought it through. Yes it was violent. Yes they were angry. But she never pushed him away, or said no. She never once told him to stop, in fact her body had begged for more. It wasn't until they were done that her brain had noticed how sidetracked they had gotten. Killian had looked horrified at her. She ran her hands through her wet hair. Nothing made sense, except that she still loved him, it just didn't feel like that was him. She needed to talk to someone about this and quickly.
Finishing her shower and dressing. She called the one person she knew, that had dealt with their true love operating under a different personality. Her father.
Killian had entered the library with a heavy heart. Belle stopped what she was doing to coo at him.
"I lost her, Belle." He whispered, slumping into a chair. "I lost control of the beast inside me, and lost her."
Belle smoothed his hair and held his solitary hand. "She won't hate you. Not with true love." She gave a sad smile. "I would know. It just takes time for her to come back around." She walked over to her desk and pulled out flash cards. "Why don't you give her notes, about what you never want her to forget and place them somewhere interesting."
He looked at her. "I did the whole note thing."
Belle 'tsk'ed him. "Not those kinds of notes, silly." She lowered her voice. "Sexy things." She took a flash card and wrote something quickly on it. "See." She handed him the card.
On one side it said Name, the other side said the way you call it when you enter me. Killian blushed. "Not what I wanted to know about you, sweetie, but I think that is a good challenge."
Emma still wasn't home, when Killian came back. There was a note, With Charming." He took to setting up in the shower. There was a knock on the door and Killian when to inquire who was calling on their home. Snow White stood there. Once the door was open, she punched him. Killian stumbled back, holding his jaw. "What was that for!" He yelled at the crazy queen.
"Ever take from Emma like that again, I will castrate you." She glared, before leaving.
He rubbed his jaw. "Great, now people will want to skin me." He muttered going to get an ice pack.
Six more times that happened. There was a knock. Killian answered the door, he got punched, slapped or kicked, depending on who it was.
Charming-punch
Archie-kick
August-punch
Red-slap
Jefferson-kick
Granny-slap
He stopped answering the door after that. Emma came home a little while later, looking tired and sad. She looked over at him, eyeing the ice pack on his face. "What happened to you?"
Killian gave her a sad smile. "The town loves you, Emma. They thought they should show their disapproval of me today. Even the nuns kicked me, when they came around for the charity drive this afternoon." He sighed. "I've never been beat so often by so many people in a single day."
Emma laughed. "That was partly my fault. I went to talk to David about it."
Killian hummed. "Well that would explain why your parents both warned me never to do anything to you again." He stood and walked over to her. "How was your talk?"
She tensed. "Good, it helped reason somethings out. What was shock, what was real." She touched his face in a soft touch, tracing his jaw with her fingertips. "Promise me one thing."
"Anything, Emma. You know that. Just ask."
She took a deep breath. "Go see Archie, and deal with whatever else Neverland did to you." She let her hand fall. "If anything just to get a better control of it."
He nodded. "I will. I'll go tomorrow to set up a time I can go see him."
She smiled. "Then I am going to shower and go to bed. Good night, Killian."
"Good night, Emma."
Emma entered the bathroom with a sigh. David had taken her to Archie when she asked about the time Snow had changed her personality. Archie had spent most of his day going through the events that had happened yesterday. He won't have a solid idea until he talked with Killian, but from what she could give him. Archie believe that it could have been the darkness that he carried with him from Neverland. He normally had control of it, but it could have been a number of things that let it get out faster. The fact that they were on the Jolly Roger, their tempers were running high, and the fact that he desired her above all else, could have easily tripped him up. Archie had Emma look at it critically, and found that, though it wasn't the best time to have sex, it had just happened. Both parties had had intercourse with each other before, enjoyed it, and had a tendency to work things out better. So Archie suggested that he see Killian, privately, and them together in couple's counseling, but until then they were to sleep alone and try not to have sex.
Emma got into the shower and stopped. There were nine words staring at her on flash cards on the shower wall.
Name
Hair
Eyes
Hands
Body
Sound
Legs
Lips
Sleep
She took them down in the order they were in, turning them over to find explanations on the back.
Name- I love the way you will scream my name when you reach your peak. It took my so long just to get you to say my name. Just hearing you say it, no matter the situation arouses me to no end. You can draw my attention away for anything just by calling my name. You have power over me in just one word.
Hair-The first thing I touched of you was your hair. The first touch you accpeted of me. I love seeing your hair spread out around you like a golden halo when we make love. Or when you are on top, how it falls around your face when you lean into kiss me, or touch my legs when you throw your head back to moan. I could tangle my hand in your hair all day. I want to bury myself in its soft strains after a long day.
Eyes-You have such expressive eyes. Holding all the pain and sadness within, but when you are happy, they light with a fire I have never seen. I love how they grow wide when I do something that surprises you. Or how they fill with desire after I kissed you. It makes you even that more desirable when your eyes flash with emotions. Your eyes draw me in, with just a glance.
Hands-When you held my hook in your hands, I swear my heart stopped beating for just a moment. You make me feel whole. You take me as I am, for what I am. That alone will cause me to love you even more then I did when I first fell in love with you.
Body-Every move you make starts a fire in me. To have you near me. Just being able to hold you is the greatest treasure I could ever ask for. It more then just lust with you, I want to worship ever inch of your body. Ever crease of your hand, makes me forget what I was angry or upset about. It draws me in like no other.
Sound-The noises you make when we make love, drives me to pull ever last ounce of pleasure out of you. Until you don't know where your pleasure ends and my begins. Just sighing with you head resting on my shoulder, makes my heart leap. I could listen to you all day, and never tire of the sound of your voice. To hear you laughter and your joy. It makes me happier then I have ever been.
Legs-Those longs lushish legs. I could stare at them at ever angle and find no flaw. I enjoy the way they wrap around me as I thrust into you, pulling me deeper. Keeping you close and not letting me move away from you.
Lips-God, your lips alone could get me drunk. You kiss brings thoughts of passion I knew not existed til that moment. They cause sparks to go off everywhere they touch. I felt like I had gone thirsty for a thousand years before I tasted your lips.
Sleep-Watching you sleep in my arms, it is the greatest pride I know. You are so gently in your sleep. Curled around me, or being held by me. I eases my very soul. It lets me put to rest my demons and dream of my angel instead. Never once had I had a bad night when you share my bed and join me in peaceful slumber.
Emma was crying when she finished the last one. She knew he meant every word he wrote. Emma exited the shower, not even bothering to put a towel around her body. She set out to find Killian, he was preparing for bed. He looked up shocked when she entered his room. "Emma, not that I don't love seeing you in the nude, but I don't think you or I are ready to jump each other just yet."
Emma walked over to him, grabbed his hook in one hand, wrapped her other around his shoulders.
"Killian, shut up and kiss me."
Killian softly kissed her lips, giving the barest pressure before pulling back. Emma pulled him closer, bring her lips back to his. Something clicked inside her, the reason it felt so strange to her what happened. Why it didn't feel right. Not once, during their violent coupling did he kiss her. He laid her down on the bed, not once breaking from her kiss.
"Emma." He whispered against her lips. "I won't take you tonight. I can't."
"Shh." She cupped his face. "I'm not asking you to. I want you to hold me. I want you to kiss away my fears."
He smiled, still sad, but happy none the less. "I can do that." He leaned back in to reclaim her lips. His world felt right again.
So there you go. Well where I am it is offically Christmas. So Merry Christmas to you all. This will be the last one I post for today. The other to chapters will be written sometime today, but they won't be posted until tomorrow. Mad Wolf Christmas will be finished up in the next coming weeks as well. I know I wanted to get them done by today, but I need sleep before I deal with family. So I bid you good night. Please review.
