Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers. All recognizable characters are the property of HasTak. All unrecognizable ones are the intellectual property of yours truly; their theft is punishable by severe voodoo-induced pain in any and all sensitive organs of the body, followed by eternal damnation.
Because, you know, stealing is
wrong. (Which is funny because I totally ganked this disclaimer from
Vaeru, with her permission of course.)
Rated: T. For mild cursing, violence, and other adult themes that will probably ensue.
Author Notes: Ok, lemme just get this out of the way real quick and let you folks get on with the chapter: I have nothing against the French. My Grandma is French. So please don't throw a hissy.
Contra Mundum
Chapter Eleven
Jack Beauregard: "Folks that throw dirt on you aren't always trying to hurt you, and folks that pull you out of a jam aren't always trying to help you. But the main point is when you're up to your nose in shit, keep your mouth shut."
-They Call Me Nobody
It was the single most uncomfortable thing David ever had to do in his life.
After listening to Jetfire's plan, which was to gather any able-bodied humans and lead a campaign against the drones, there was the issue of travel. David had mapped out where they would be going, and it was decided that Jetfire would fly high in the air above the flight paths of the drones and act as a scout and a living GPS. The rest of the Autobots would travel together following Jetfire's directions.
The problem was, what was David to do? Although he was fast, the human would never be able to keep up with the mechs on foot whether they were in their alt modes or not. And he was violently opposed to anyone carrying him, which the Autobots came to realize when Bluestreak tried to pick him up. The gunner almost received a grenade to the face.
That left only one option: David would have ride in one of them while they were in their alt mode, an idea he did not find desirable at all. It had been years since the man had ever even been in a car. Of course, he used to have the shuttle, but he never drove it. He left it to the Runners like Jeb to drive it and haul anything from supplies to refugees.
And it wasn't just the idea that he'd be riding in a transforming mech that bothered him; that would've irked any human. It was the fact that he would be riding inside something that was alive. The very idea ranked up there with being eaten in David's mind, and he was in no hurry to see what it was like. For some odd reason, Bluestreak again was the one who opted to tote the human, and David was really becoming suspicious of his eagerness.
Instead, after much internal conflict, the tall man chose to ride in Trailbreaker. His decision was solely based on the fact that when he was a kid, Jeb used to have a big truck, and David would often beg to ride in the back. Jeb's truck was not the same model that Trailbreaker had chosen, but out of all the mechs, his alt form was the most familiar.
Still, David stalled the actual act of climbing in as long as he could. Walking slowly to the passenger side door, he gradually allowed himself to clasp the handle. Almost immediately he yanked his hand away. Even though it was another hot day as always, the metal beneath his hand was far warmer than a normal car's would have been. Not enough to burn him, but enough to get his attention.
After the human made no move to pull the handle again, Trailbreaker graciously opened his door for him. It was just another reminder to David, that this was not just a harmless nonliving vehicle. Awkwardly hauling his long body in, David nervously slid into the passenger side seat and stashed his bags and shield in the back. It was every bit as uncomfortable as he imagined it would be. Not the seat itself nor the cab but actually being inside what he had always viewed as an enemy.
Just like the metal of the door handle, the seats were strangely warm. David sat up straight; afraid to lean into the seat due to the knowledge that the black Autobot could feel everything David touched. The human tried to make himself as small as possible. But being as tall as he was, it was not an easy task. He kept his hands in his lap and hunched over so that the top of his head did not brush the ceiling. Last thing he wanted was to accidentally tickle something and end up with his ass ejected onto the road.
But the discomfort didn't end there. When the mechs began to roll out of the city one by one, David had already prepared himself for the sight of the foot pedals and the steering wheel to operate by themselves. After all, the big truck had to move somehow. But they were not the only things to move. Practically everything could move on its own accord, including the seat David was currently sitting in. Whenever Trailbreaker exerted himself like when he tried to get over a large piece of debris or uphill, David could feel the seat under him tense up like a muscle and increase slightly in temperature.
God, it's like being in a giant metal womb… David thought to himself in abhorrence.
What probably was the worst of it all was the atmosphere inside the truck. It was thick yet hyperactive. It was almost as if the air itself was electrified and made the hairs on his arms stand on end. A strange scent hung in the space of the cab; the twang of ozone mixed with lead. It took a moment for David to identify it as the smell of energon. He had only encountered the substance a few times, and had a small burn on his right hand from the first time he had come in contact with it. He also knew that it was what the Decepticons had to come to Earth to make.
"David?"
Trailbreaker's voice came from all around him: from out of the speakers, the walls, even the seat underneath him. To say that the rumbling sound had made David jump would have been a great understatement. Had he not been strapped down by the seatbelt, he probably would have shot straight through the ceiling. He expected at any moment for all of his hair to just fall off his head and flitter out of the robot-turned-vehicle as he tried to keep his body from shuddering.
"What's up, Trailbreaker?" the man hissed through clenched teeth, trying not to grip the seat under him while simultaneously resisting the increasing urge to bail out of the truck.
"Are you alright?" the large Autobot inquired with seemingly genuine concern. The Decepticons must have been taking acting classes these days.
"Why?"
"Your biological signals seem pretty stressed."
Great. Not only was David riding inside the living innards of his enemy, but also now said enemy was scanning him, constantly perhaps. David never wanted to flick his scrambler on so badly in his life, not even during his first scrape with Breakdown. Even before the invasion, the human never liked having an x-ray taken of him at the doctor's office. But these guys had not seen what his scrambler could do just yet, and he preferred they find out at a more opportune time.
"I'm fine," David answered in a flat tone that implied he didn't want any pressure put on the matter. "Shouldn't we pick up the pace a little? We need to cover as much ground as possible before night falls, and it's a long way to go," he continued in a less hostile manner. His voice must have been broadcasted to the other Autobots because they began to gradually pick up speed as they traveled closer to the southern end of the city in a single file.
Leaning his long body slightly to his right, David gazed outside the window as the crumbling remains of what he called home began to drift by. Almost no building stood uncompromised. Most that had not been reduced to rubble long ago were slowly making their way to that stage, slowly collapsing in on themselves and all covered in ivy vines and weeds. Smaller buildings were nearly completely unrecognizable. Travel was slow, the mechs having to make their way around deep depressions in the street and randomly spaced trees that had sprouted through the concrete. Trailbreaker and Hound had a major advantage over the landscape unlike Mirage and Sunstreaker, who were both forced to transform in order to move around roadblocks every so often.
They passed the CVS and the HEB that David heavily raided for a long time until all the food inside either perished or was taken by both human and animals. Bridges and overpasses were inaccessible, having given way and fallen apart a long time ago. The cars lined up in front of David easily found their way around these obstacles as Jetfire directed them from above. All communication must have been transferred through internal links, because for a long time David sat in blissful silence save for the crunching of pebbles and debris under tires.
The man let his thoughts wander, planning out his actions for when they would make it down to the coast. He doubted there would be any serious drone activity until they were deep in the city formerly known as Houston. Like Dallas, most of it had probably been leveled to make way for energy extracting facilities. According to Jeb, the refineries and factories closer to the coast around Galveston had all been converted instead of being destroyed. In order to keep both cities from being reclaimed by the ocean, the sewer system still had to exist and be maintained. Somewhere upon entering the limits of the refineries, David would have to give the Autobots the slip and make his way back up north.
There would be no going back to his Safe Point in Dallas; there was no reason to anymore. He would have to finally go to the settlements in the mountains. He had packed enough supplies to make it at least back to Austin. He would have to search for the Austin Safe Point, stop for more supplies then make his way up to Oklahoma and from there to the Rockies. Yea, he could do that. It was a long, long walk, but he could do it.
"Hey, David,"
Hound's voice suddenly coming out of Trailbreaker's speakers nearly caused said human's heart to explode from his chest. Gripping the offended area, David gradually calmed himself down. He was quickly on his way to dying of a heart attack at this pace.
"What is it, Hound?" he asked exasperatedly, almost feeling Trailbreaker's instant scan of his body.
"How come you're not speakin' the same way you were when we first met you?" the jeep asked using his adopted southern twang to emphasize his question. It made David's eyebrow twitch.
"That was my accent," he replied. "I usually don't have much of one. It comes out when I'm angry or excited."
"Does everyone on your planet talk like that? We have accents too but they're not all the same. Some bot's talk with accents similar to yours while others talk with blips or static in their voice. I don't think organics do that though," prattled Bluestreak's voice in place of Hound's.
"No not everyone talks like that," chuckled David. "Not everyone has an accent, and different regions have different accents," he explained to the gunner.
"What kind of different accents are there?" inquired Hound's voice curiously again. David paused to think for a moment, trying to remember one of the typical American accents that always bugged him.
"People from tha MeedWest sometimes talk like thees," the human responded in a high nasal voice. Laughter immediately crackled through the speakers, accompanied by a rumbling all around him. Apparently Trailbreaker thought the imitated accent was funny, too. David thought he heard Mirage chortling amidst the giggles from Hound and Bluestreak.
David continued to imitate the accents he could remember. He impersonated a Brooklyn accent, a Cajun accent, a Boston accent, and a British accent. The greatest reaction he got however was when he impersonated a French accent.
He quoted an old comedian, "Shtoopid Americahns with theer deodorahnt. Look at mah ass as Ah walk away from joo," and the immediate reaction was outrageous. Not only could David make out the sound of Jetfire's laughter, he could hear Sunstreaker cackling too. Well, so much for stealth.
After everyone finally regained control of themselves, Sunstreaker snorted through the channel, "Whoever talks like that has a huge slaggin' rock shoved up their tailpipe."
The comment (aside from the terminology) was so human it made David smile, but he refused to let himself carried away. He couldn't allow a light-hearted moment to lull him into a false sense of security. These things were not his friends, even though they acted unlike anything he'd ever seen or heard from Decepticons. He had heard 'Cons laugh before, but it was never in fun jest. It was always terrifying and cruel.
Silence fell back over the convoy, and again the man got the distinct feeling that things were being said without him hearing. It nagged him greatly; in the same way it nagged him when a refugee chose to speak in another language when they were not speaking to him. He always got the feeling that he was missing some insult or some important piece of information.
After a few minutes of waiting for anything more, David chose to go back to looking out the window. They were outside of downtown now and passing through the empty suburbs: house after house of peeling paint, dilapidated roofs, and broken windows. Vines, trees, and grass budded from every surface, enveloping every house and slowly reverting the landscape back into what it once was.
A ray of sunlight shot directly into David's eyes from between open gaps of two houses and the tall man winced before shading them with his hand. The celestial body in question was dipping steadily into the horizon, painting the western sky a vast array of reds, oranges, and pinks. If a low-angled ray weren't currently blinding him, he probably would have been able to enjoy the show.
"We can't travel at night," David announced. It was most likely that the mechs around him were already aware of this fact but he felt the need to state it anyways.
"We can see in the dark," informed Mirage. He didn't sound like he was trying to be smug, but David certainly took it that way.
"That's not the issue. Heat signatures light up in the dark like a roman candle. When the sun goes all the way down, we'll need to find a place to stop for the night," the human explained patiently. He left out that he really wanted to stop only because he hadn't slept in over twenty-four hours and he would be damned before he went to sleep inside one of the mechs.
"I'm sure we could all use a good recharge after everything from today," reverberated Trailbreaker's voice all around David. It wasn't loud, but being so close it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up.
"What's a roman candle?" asked Bluestreak's unsure voice, but David was growing much too tired to answer him.
"David makes a good point. We can't afford to be spotted by one of the Stunticons right now. The longer they don't know we're here the better, and the longer we don't have to deal with Menasor," said Jetfire over the link. "Hound, you'll be coming to the edge of a forest on your left in about a breem, we'll stop there."
"What's Menasor?" ask David to no one in particular. He had never heard of Menasor, there was a Decepticon running around he hadn't heard of yet?
"Menasor is the Decepticon that is created when all the Stunticons link up together," Mirage's voice clarified. "He is considered the sixth and strongest Stunticon."
"'Link up'? What, you mean like in Power Rangers?" blurted the man incredulously. He never knew Decepticons could link up to form new Decepticons, and this new information alarmed him a bit. Did anyone else know? Is that how New York was destroyed so quickly?
Wait a minute.
"Can you guys link up?" the human inquired cautiously. He might have to rethink his plan if he got an answer he didn't like…
"Frag no," came Sunstreaker's prompt response. David almost let out the breath he was holding all at once, but he didn't want Trailbreaker to notice. He chose to slowly release it instead.
"I don't think Sunstreaker would even let Sideswipe that close to him," came a static-filled snicker over the channel, and David could hear the Lamborghini's engine rev loudly in warning. David ran a hand over his face; these guys were going to attract any drone or large animals from miles around with all the racket they were making.
David wasn't sure how long a breem actually was, but as far as he was concerned, it was entirely too long. When the forest finally loomed in sight, the man all but dove out of Trailbreaker, yanking his bags and shield out behind him. Thankfully and gracelessly, David plopped right down on a patch of dirt as the mechs around him all pulled up and transformed. Jetfire swooped down from the sky and transformed in midair before landing in the soft earth with a thud. David couldn't help but think the jet was trying to show off a bit as he fanned dirt and dust away from his face.
By this time, the sun had disappeared beneath the western horizon and twilight had moved in. Bluestreak and Trailbreaker both activated their headlights to fully survey their surroundings. David waved his arms from his seat on the ground at them.
"Turn those off!" he hissed.
"Our scanners aren't picking up any Decepticon activity anywhere near here. They won't see it," Trailbreaker pointed out in attempt to calm the man.
"That's not it! You'll attract other things, this area is all cougar territory!" the human countered.
"Cougar?"
"Turn off your damn lights!"
And with that, the lights went off. It wasn't like anyone needed the lights to begin with, as it was a clear night with a full moon. David would be able to see just fine in the dark and he was sure the mechs had their own alien version of night vision.
"David, you don't need to be concerned about the danger of other organisms on your planet while you're with us. One of us we'll be standing guard throughout the cycle. If something comes out of the forest, we will protect you," Jetfire said calmly to the agitated human at his feet.
"Better safe than sorry," David replied, making use of the classic proverb. Jetfire titled his helmed head in response, considering the meaning of it as his optics flickered.
"Do you mind if I ask you a question David?" the leader asked in his ever-calm manner.
"Shoot."
The jet stared at the man dubiously with wide optics for a moment, as did every other Autobot around David, each bearing the same expression as their leader. It took David a moment to realize the reason why.
"Oh! Sorry, I meant 'ask away'."
"You said we're heading down to the coast, correct?"
"Yep."
"Why? The southern coast is one of three biggest centers of Decepticon activity on this continent. Organics couldn't possibly live so close to the Decepticons," the jet pointed out. At this, David grinned.
"They're underneath," he said. "What better place to hide than right under their noses? There are systems all under Houston just like the one I was in and they run deep underground."
It was a complete lie, but David had a good poker face.
And he had a better understanding of the land in that area. There could never be a deep underground system under Houston. The city was at sea level; anything deeper than a few feet underground would flood at the first sign of rain. But his new friends didn't need to know that.
"Oh, and we're not called organics," David continued. "We're humans."
"Humans," the giant red and white mech echoed.
"That's right," the man said tiredly. He rubbed the heels of his hands over his eyes. He was really feeling his exhaustion now and was unable to continue sitting up straight. His mechanical companions began to discuss who would take the first watch, but David didn't listen. Not that it really concerned him; he'd never be able to stay awake for guard duty tonight.
The man flopped over backwards, letting his back hit the dirt and his head land on one of his bags. Out of habit, he pulled his shield over his body and curled himself to fit under it, ignoring the looks and questions he got from any of the mechs. God, he was so tired and the ground felt so good even with the small rocks and roots jabbing into him. Not even a minute passed before David went out like a light.
"David?"
"David!"
He turned towards the voice, searching for its source, but found no one. The building was empty. He'd been here before…but why was everything so much bigger than him? A glance down at his hands revealed the answer; everything wasn't bigger than him, he was just smaller. Younger.
David looked up and around himself. Yes, he had been here before…but something felt wrong. The boy wasn't sure what, but it tugged at him in the back of his mind. He walked down the aisle and looked through the empty pews. Colored morning sunlight spilled into the church through tall stained windows. The air felt cool and dry from the ever-precious air conditioner, and the faint smell of dust hung above his head.
Where is everyone? the thirteen-year-old thought to himself.
"David!" yelled a voice again, sounding like a cry for help. This time when the teenager turned around, three people sat in the pew behind him. He recognized them instantly as his family: his mother, his father, and his little sister. Jessie was asleep, leaning against their father with her face turned away from David. His parents made him uneasy. Their facial features were unclear and distorted, almost like they were constantly shifting. They stared blankly forward as if they were listening to a normal Sunday sermon that David could not see or hear.
"Mom?" he asked cautiously. His "mother" turned towards him, raised a finger to her changing lips, and shushed him. The feeling of wrongness began to grow in his mind, like someone who knows the terrible approaching end to a horror film.
"Mom—" he began to say, but a sudden explosion drowned his voice out. The boy was thrown against the floor, and the windows of the church shattered all at once, showering him in a rain of broken colored glass.
"Dad!" he cried as he lifted his head up. His family was still there in the pew, sitting still as statues. Jessie had still yet to wake up. Didn't they see what was happening?
The ground was shaking now, rocking his small form back and forth. The ceiling was beginning to crumble down in big chunks. A giant piece of debris fell and landed inches from his father, destroying half the pews on that side of the church. And his family still had yet to move! David tried to get up, but the quake grew fiercer and not knocked him back down to the floor.
The wall of the church behind the alter was suddenly ripped away, causing the roof above to come crashing down towards David. Chunk by chunk, giant wooden beams and planks smashed into the empty pews. The boy jerked his head upwards just in time to see a giant beam hurtling towards him…
David's eyes wrenched open and he was instantly blinded by morning light. For a heart-stopping moment, the human realized the ground below him really was moving. Instinctively he tried to jump up, but something was holding him down. He panicked, still blind and twisting and thrashing like a rabid cat, ripping and clawing at the thing that dared to hold him down.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Quit it! David!"
It took about a half a second to recognize Hound's voice and for the ground to stop moving. Panting and with his heart racing, David willed his body to hold completely still and stiff. Looking down at his body, David saw that he was actually strapped down by multiple safety belts. What the hell did they do to him while he was sleeping?
The belts unclicked and unraveled simultaneously and David slowly sat up, his body still shaking as to recover from his nightmare and frightening wake-up. Bluestreak and Mirage's faces appeared on either side of Hound, peering at the shaken human who was still blinking bemusedly.
"You ok, David?" Hound's voice asked from all around.
"What did ya'll do?" he asked, gulping for air.
"You were thrashing during your recharge all night," supplied Bluestreak. "When the new cycle began, you were still in recharge and still moving around a lot. We needed to get going so Sunstreaker came up with the idea to place you in Hound and tie you down."
Sunstreaker…of course…
Belatedly, David waved off the concerned faces of Mirage and Bluestreak. "Sorry, I'm fine. Just a nightmare."
The two mechs looked toward each other before backing up and transforming back into their alt modes. They filed in behind Hound, and the jeep resumed his driving.
"Guess I'm pretty lucky then," the human said sarcastically. "To have such a caring mech traveling with me like you, Sunstreaker."
"That's very astute of you," answered the warrior.
"What did you call me?!"
Author's Notes Continued: The quote from the old comedian is a quote from one Chris Titus's stand-ups. Also, for those who don't know what an HEB is, it's a grocery store chain that's rampant all over Texas. I don't know if there are any in any other states.
Fun Side Note: The last two quotations at the end of the chapter are taken directly from a conversation between a friend and myself.
