A/N: Hi initiates! I'm back. I want to make a huge announcement (well it is for me): I just finished and posted the last chapter of my original novel as part of this year's NaNoWriMo writing challenge. You can find it on my blog christiwind . tumblr . com (no spaces) if you are interested to read it.
Tris' POV
I wake up the next morning still thinking of the fight I had with Tobias. It wasn't even a real fight, more a stupid argument. And I was the stupid part. Scott is right. If I want this to work I need to talk to Tobias. It's not like I'm asking his permission, but he at least deserves to know what I want to do. I know for a fact that he wouldn't come with me climbing, because of his fear of heights. And if for any reason he would decide to come along I would cancel. I don't want to lose him and he isn't nearly prepared to climb such a mountain like Aconcagua. But in this particular moment I realize something. I don't want to lose Tobias. Period. But if I keep acting like a spoiled brat he might leave me. I don't even know why he chose me to begin with. But I'm not ready to find out how my life would be without him. I need to talk to him.
I get out of bed and change into some jeans and a tee shirt. I walk downstairs and eat some toast and pour myself some coffee. When I'm done I go upstairs to braid my hair and brush my teeth. I get my phone and some cash and write a note for my parents. It's still early, but I'm used to waking up at this hour. I decide to wait for Tobias to wake up too. I walk to his house and sit on the steps, waiting for the house to come to life. I play with my phone when someone suddenly stops in front of me. I look up and see Tobias. He is wearing the same clothes as yesterday and he looks at me serious.
"I'm sorry" he says. My eyes widen in surprise and I can't hold back my own apology.
"I'm sorry. I should have told you."
"I shouldn't have been so pushy and meddle in things that don't concern me" he says angry.
"Tobias, no. I was wrong. You have every right to know these things. I overreacted. Can we go some place where we can talk?" I ask, feeling too exposed on his front porch. He nods and we take his car downtown. We stop at a café and go inside. We order a muffin and a coffee each and sit on opposite sides of each other. I swallow past the lump in my throat, trying to gather the courage to look him in the eyes.
"Tris, talk to me" he says and I finally look up.
"I'm sorry, Tobias." He opens his mouth to say something but I raise my hand to stop him. "This has nothing to do with you. I am so used to be on my own that I didn't know how to handle this situation properly."
"Don't you trust me?" he asks serious and I can hear the hurt in his voice.
"I trust you. I am not used to having someone to tell these things to" I say. He looks at me curiously. "I mean, you are the first person I care about and it scares me" I confess.
"What scares you?" he asks curious.
"It scares me that you might want to go with me. Scratch that. It terrifies me" I say and I feel tears in my eyes. "You know why I don't tell people I love about my expeditions. They would come with me and I can't have that. It's bad enough that Scott or other friends are there, but any of you would be too much."
"Will Scott be there too?" he asks.
"What?"
"In Argentina" he adds.
"Yeah, maybe. We haven't really discussed it yet."
"Would you want him there?" he asks.
"Yeah. He knows me, I know him. He is an excellent climber and a great friend" I say and Tobias looks out of the window. I see him grit his teeth and clench his fists. "Are you jealous?" I ask and he looks at me. I can't place the emotions I see on his face.
"There any reason for me to be?" he asks.
"Oh my God, Tobias. Scott and I are friends. I admit we are kind of casual with each other, but that's it. We are just friends. You asked me if I trusted you. But do you trust me?" I ask him forceful and a little loud. He remains silent for a while. "I guess this answers my question" I say and get up. Just as I want to leave and pass him he grabs my wrist.
"I trust you, but it hurts me" he says and I look down to him.
"What hurts?" I ask.
"That you trust him more" he says.
"So, you are jealous."
"Yes. I know you are not that kind of girl to sleep around with guys" he starts saying.
"Especially since I'm still a virgin, but go on." He chuckles and nods.
"And I know that even if he would seek a romantic relationship you are not interested. You are loyal and I appreciate that."
"Then why are you jealous?" I ask sitting down in his lap. He wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on my right shoulder. The tip of his nose brushes against my ear and I shudder.
"I am jealous of that bond you and Scott have" he says.
"Tobias, that bond didn't form over night. It took years and dozens of climbing trips. We have all the time in the world to create a bond of our own."
"Why don't you want me with you?" he asks.
"With me where? The mountain?" I ask. He nods. "First of all, would you even go?"
"I could try."
"But not a big one. Aconcagua is difficult and dangerous. And don't even try to tell me you are a big and tough guy. This has nothing to do with that. What about the height?" I ask him.
"I could learn to handle it" he says smiling.
"This isn't funny. You shouldn't do something you are not comfortable doing."
"I just feel like he knows you, while I'm the newcomer."
"For God sake's, Tobias. He does know me better, because he and I have known each other for much longer. And you are the newcomer, but you know things I haven't told anyone. I feel closer to you than to anyone. And I feel safe with you. I mean really, really safe. I care for my friends, but I can't help but associate them with expeditions and often bad things. I don't ever want to do that with you. I would rather have us fight for a month over silly things, than having you there with me." He looks at me with wide eyes. "That sounded bad. I meant, I don't want you on the mountain with me because you could be in danger and I can't have you that way. I love you and it would kill me to see you suffer. People die, Tobias, and I refuse to lose you" I say and tears stream down my cheeks. Tobias hugs me close to him and rubs my back, while I cry. When the tears finally subside I feel Tobias turn his head and place a kiss to mine.
"I love you, too, Tris" he says and I push away from him. I look at him with wide eyes and he has an adorable grin on his face.
"What did you say?" I ask, not sure I heard him right.
"I said, I love you, too" he repeats.
"You love me?" I ask incredulous.
"Yes, I do."
"I love you too" I say smiling.
"I know" he says and I raise an eyebrow.
"I'm no expert in romance, but quoting Han Solo isn't exactly romantic" I say. He looks at me for a moment before he bursts out laughing.
"I didn't mean it like that. I meant, I know you do, because you told me. Remember, when you gave me your speech. You said you love me and you don't want to see me suffer" he says and now I realize that during my rant I confessed my feelings without even realizing it. Smooth, Tris, really. I blush and he smiles before kissing my cheek.
"No need to be embarrassed. I've known how I feel for you for a while now, but didn't know when to tell you. I always chickened out. And yesterday when we had that fight I thought this was it. Even though Zeke kept telling me that that wasn't even a real fight."
"Tobias, I swear, I was going to tell you, but not until I knew for sure if I was going or not. Yeah, I want to go, but there are a million things that need to be taken care of before I even consider going. I promise, I would have told you."
"I believe you" he says. "But why did you get so defensive when I asked you?"
"Because I'm used to listening to a hundred reasons why I shouldn't go. I just assumed you would do the same. I'm sorry. I overreacted and took it out on you."
"It's okay, I'm sorry too. I should have handled it better. This is all so new to me."
"I know."
"But I do want to be part of your world."
"You are. But promise me you won't try and come with me on an expedition. At least not a dangerous one. There's one thing to go hiking and even climbing nearby, but one of the Seven without proper training can cost you your life."
"I know. But at least talk to me. I promise I will try to understand you better and support you" he says. I cup his face and kiss his lips. He is willing to understand me when I'm this irrational and bitchy.
"Thank you. I promise I will work harder on keeping you in the loop. I promise."
"We good?" he asks and I smile.
"Yeah, we good."
A/N: Don't forget to review.
