A/N: Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this silly story. It means a lot.
Without a Trace: Chapter 10
Sally nervously shifted in her seat to face Percy.
"Do you want me to wait for you?" she asked.
"No thanks, I'll be fine," Percy reassured her.
Sally bit her lip and decided to reluctantly let him go. It had been her idea for Percy to visit a psychiatrist but that didn't stop her from worrying about her son.
As Percy got out of her car, she reminded him she would pick him up as soon as the session ended. Percy waved off her concerns and steeled himself to enter the building, feeling her gaze following him as he went inside. He was immediately sent to the waiting room after giving his name and confirming his appointment. He felt awkward, surrounded by tabloid magazines and sitting on a stiff, plastic chair that digged into his back.
He killed time by drawing mustaches and devil horns in celebrities' faces and catching up on the latest cheating scandals until his name was called. He stood up, embarrassed to have been caught reading Tiger Beat. He forced himself to drop the magazine and not look back even though though he was curious about the latest Taylor Swift rumor.
Every step he took echoed in the hallway, making him feel small and insecure. He stepped inside the opened room and decided to stand in the middle of the room. He didn't know where to sit and he felt uncomfortable being in a foreign room with no one inside it besides himself.
It didn't take long for his psychiatrist to find him like this. She quickly introduced herself as Dr. Aphrodite Lovegood and told Percy to take a seat in the sofa.
All he could think about was how she had the same last name as Luna Lovegood and how they were both blonde.
After she finished skimming a folder, she sat across from him, bringing with her a journal and a pen.
She cleared her throat and smiled at him. "I just want to remind you that anything you say in this room will stay in this room unless you decide otherwise. I'm here to aid you so if you ever need anything, feel free to ask me," she told him.
He couldn't help but stare at her eyes, they were a bright shade of violet-blue. It reminded him of a benitoite crystal, mysterious and alluring.
Dr. Lovegood wasn't intimidated by his stare. She looked at him right in the eye, as if he was a fish and she was deciding whether or not to throw him back to the ocean or shoving him in a bucket to eat later.
"It appears you've lost your memories and everyone's quite eager for you to get them back," she mused. "But it doesn't seem like you want to be here. Why is that?"
Percy grew serious, knowing that hesitation was a sign of defeat in this situation. He carefully straightened his thoughts and reminded himself to think before he opened his mouth.
"I've never liked guinea pigs, you see. I've always pitied them, never really gave them much of a thought. Excuse me for not being happy for finding out that I'm substitute for one," he decided to say.
"I think you're the only one who sees himself as a guinea pig, Percy. You aren't here to be experimented on, you're here because there are people that care about you and they want the best for you. You can't blame them for that," she pointed out.
Percy ran a hand through his hair. He was aware of them they were playing at, each trying to one up another. He was hoping to avoid this conversation while she tried her best to slowly rein him in to answer her questions. It was a game he was familiar with, but that didn't stop him from planning it out.
"I don't blame them for trying," he whispered.
He distracted himself by tracing the alphabet on the corner of his seat. It wasn't until he was in the letter E that she finally figured it out.
"Ah, you're afraid," she softly said.
"Afraid of what?" he scoffed.
"Afraid of disappointing them. You can see how badly they want you to remember but you don't know if it's possible. You've tried to remember everything and some pieces are starting to put themselves back together but it's not enough. It's never enough, is it? You keep trying and trying but they keep pushing you. It's overwhelming and confusing and frankly, really scary," she explained.
Percy clenched his jaw. "You're good," he forced out.
"I take my job seriously," she smiled.
He sighed, giving up on the game. She was too insightful to beat, plus she wasn't what he had expected. He had expected someone who didn't care and pried too much, but Dr. Lovegood was all good intentions and soft words with searching looks.
"Let's say hypothetically that you're correct, what about it? Are we going to do a praying circle so I can find the light within myself?" Percy asked sarcastically.
"Don't be ridiculous," she rolled her eyes. "With us two it would be a rectangle, not a circle."
"Ah yes, my bad. A praying rectangle makes much more sense, what was I thinking?"
"Clearly you were just trying to change the subject," she narrowed her eyes.
Percy had to hide his smile when she said that. Her tone and expression reminded him too much of Annabeth. It seemed that Dr. Lovegood, like Annabeth, had no patience for his bullshit and wasn't afraid to call him out on it.
I have to find her a nickname, Dr. Lovegood is too tiring, he thought absentmindedly.
"But no, we're not going to involve praying right now. I actually have another method in mind," she told him.
She gave him the journal and the pen she had in her hands the whole time.
Percy took them from her and stared at them, not knowing that they were for.
"I want you to write down everything you remember with as much details as possible. It'll help with the confusion and it'll sort out your thoughts. Whenever you remember something new, you immediately write it down. I want you to have your memories in one place where you can look back and start connecting the dots," she explained.
Percy didn't see how it would hurt to try so he nodded, telling her that he understood.
She looked down at her watch. "It seems that our session is over but before you go, I want to remind you that you'll be seeing me every Friday. Today was only a half-hour long session but next week it'll be an hour long. I also expect for you to start writing down your memories as soon as possible, consider it homework."
"Gotcha Dr. L, until next time," Percy smirked.
Percy was almost outside the room when she called his name. He turned around, wondering if he had dropped something.
"You shouldn't think of guinea pigs just as test subjects. Think of them as the only willing ones who are either brave or willing enough to first try something. The ones who are ready to give up everything to prove something and improve the world. I think it's a much happier thought, don't you think? Now go before it gets even more late," she finished, a slight smile in her face.
As Percy went inside his mom's waiting car, glad to be getting out of the cold, he couldn't get her words out of his head.
Maybe being a guinea pig wasn't so bad.
