It's been about three months since Christian and I "broke up", and so far, things have gone about as swimmingly as they possibly can when you just hooked up with your best friend's crush.

Things were awkward between Christian and I, but we could just play that off as it being awkward because we dated. Lissa and Christian were an item now, which meant I got to spend a lot of quality time with the asshole.

We were careful to maintain a normal relationship in public; We bantered, teased, argued, and annoyed the living piss out of each other when we had the chance. Lissa was impeccably happy with Christian, and she was pretty thrilled that our "feelings" had gone away, and that we were now just friends.

That was partially true, but not the entire truth. Sure, we were sort of friends now. But, the feelings were a little more complicated. No, I wasn't madly in love with him, and I'm pretty damn sure that feeling was mutual.

But, there was casual flirting when Lissa wasn't too nearby. It was subtle and to the naked eye, it wasn't obvious. But occasionally our touches would linger a little too long, a gaze a few seconds past appropriate. Simple things like that. It was a game that I think we both liked playing.

I liked to view our flirting as simply harmless. I wasn't going to hook up with Christian again, I had mentally promised myself, but, I liked flirting with him. I had always been a slight flirt, of course, and I think that was the problem. I didn't view Christian as something I couldn't have, an item to lust after; I just liked flirting with him because in a way, it gave me a thrill.

Was it wrong? Hell yeah, on so many levels. I mean, a real friend would respect the fact that her best friend was in love with Christian, and back off. I however, enjoyed being stubborn. But, our flirting was still more or less, harmless.

I was with Dimitri now, behind closed doors, and in abandoned corridors. That was also a thrill. Sure, Christian was hot, and not bad in bed, but Dimitri was my world. I had never felt so happy, and I was determined to never let it end.


I was in the library studying for an upcoming test in Moroi History, when I felt someone cover my eyes. I tense slightly, and I feel slight irritation. I really needed to study, because if I flunked out of school, I would be a letdown to both Lissa and myself, and I couldn't do that.

"Guess who?" Someone whispers in my ear.

It's definitely not Dimitri, as much as I wish it was. Dimitri was always careful to make sure no one saw us together, or that anyone had suspicions that we were secretly hooking up.

In some ways, I hated it. It was one of the reasons I hated being around Lissa and Christian. I was jealous of their relationship. No, not because she was dating Christian, or that I now had to share my best friend's attention with someone else.

I was jealous, because they could kiss in public, hold hands, go on dates; Things that a real couple did. I understood where Dimitri was coming from, but in some ways, it made me feel like he was ashamed of me. But, if we were caught, he would be in a lot of trouble, and I didn't want that.

"Is it the Muffin Man?" I ask, deciding to play along, even though I really did need to start hitting the books.

"Depends on which Muffin Man you're looking for."

"The one that lives on Drury Lane?"

"Well, I'm not the Muffin Man, but I think I'm a pretty close second." The voice says, finally lifting their hands off of my eyes. I glance up to see Christian standing there, looking amused, but a bit upset as well.

"Aw drats. I really was in the moon for a chocolate chip muffin. Thanks for ruining my day, Sparky."

He huffs, and fakes being offended. "Ouch, Rose. I think you just hate me because I'm not black."

"Yes, that's obviously why I hate you. I can't stand you because you're whiter than snow."

"I knew you were racist! You're glad to see me. I may not be a black Muffin Man, but I brought you something equally as delicious."

I raise an eyebrow, looking at him in curiosity. "Oh really? Please don't tell me that the gift you brought me is yourself, because if it is, I want a full refund."

"Ouch. That was rude. I think I'm going to go be emo in a corner now."

"Just make sure it's not one of the hooker's corners. I wouldn't want you getting AIDS or anything."

"Gee, thanks Rose. I love your motivational advice. I never said I was going to go to a hooker's corner; Just a simple, plain old corner where I'll slit my wrists and cry because Rose doesn't love me anymore."

"Look who's catching on already!" I say, mocking sarcastic enthusiasm.

He says something else, but I don't hear what it is, because I glance up and lock eyes with Dimitri. He's reading one of his stupid western novels again, but I can see his jaw is slightly clenched.

I don't see why he's getting so jealous. It's not like Christian and I are anything more than friends. I've told him a million times that I love him, and that he's pretty much my other half. Someone needs a Happy Meal.

"Rose?"

"Huh?" I ask, directing my attention back to him.

"Did you hear anything I just said?" He asks me. But, his amused expression tells me that he not only knows that my attention was elsewhere, but he knows who I was giving it to.

"No, not really."

"And, why is that?"

"It's quite simple really. Try to keep up, because it may be a little complicated, but I think even your pea brain can keep up."

"I know you didn't just call me stupid."

"But, I did. Anyway, the reason I wasn't paying attention was because it was you talking, and not someone I actually cared about."

"Oh really? So, the fact that Dimitri is over there giving me the master of all death glares has nothing to do with it, does it?"

"Of course not. In fact, I don't even know why he's being so jealous. It's not like there's anything going on between us."

"Yeah, thank god. I don't think I could ever do that to Lissa; I could never shag her friend on the side of things. I hate that people still assume we're together."

"I agree. Like, is it really so weird that we're still friends? It's not like we were that emotionally involved in our relationship. We've both found people better suited for us, and we can get through this all normally, with no emotional baggage."

"Correction, we've already done that. We are just friends, nothing more. You're pretty much like a sister now."

"Awww! That's adorable. I didn't know you thought so highly of me."

"I don't. You're annoying, bratty, and a pain in my ass, just like a sister would be."

I scoff, giving him a mock look of hurt. "Ouch, now I think my ego is inflated."

"Good. It was about time for you to remove your head from your ass. Anyway, you never asked about the surprise I brought you."

"Tell me."

"No, you have to guess."

"But, I have to study. I've already given you most of my precious study time. The least you could do is tell me what gift I am about to receive."

"Meet me in the Attic tonight. You'll see then."

"Sounds kinky."

He rolls his eyes, and walks off, leaving me alone to my thoughts. I try to ease back into the book I was reading, but I find my attention is elsewhere. For one thing, I keep meeting Dimitri's eyes, and for another, I'm thinking about Christian.

Every Time he's around, I am happy that we're friends, because he's actually a really great guy; Well, once you get past his bitter, cocky, arrogant, and sarcastic front, he's funny, caring, and fun to annoy. But, I also feel guilty, because I put him through a one night stand like that, and while we both agreed to it, I felt nauseous every time I thought about that night.

I had said that I was willing to accept all consequences, and as far as quirky situations go, this one was mild. I figured it could be a lot worse, but then, I also felt like maybe it was my personal hell.


I left the library feeling groggy and less intelligent than when I went in. When it came to fighting, I was the girl to beat. When it came to knowledge… Not so much. This test was seriously stressing me out, and that was not a place that Rose Hathaway enjoyed being in.

I was ready to go to sleep, and never wake up, if it meant that I never had to deal with stupid tests, or boys, or life again. But, I wasn't depressed at all. Just a little apprehensive.

I just had to run home and then I would head over to the chapel to see Christian's "oh so amazing" surprise. It had better be worth it, because I was tired and cranky.

Suddenly, as I rounded a corner, I was pushed against the wall, hard. I meet Dimitri's eyes. Well, I am wide awake now. His gaze bores into mine, his body pressed close to mine. I can smell him, his scent of coffee, aftershave, and mint. His scent drove my senses wild, and it was one of the reasons I couldn't get enough of him. I'd never tire of him.

"Rose… I've missed you." He whispers, before crushing his lips to mine. I kiss back with as much enthusiasm, my tongue meeting his, our breathing becoming ragged and uneven.

I can feel him get hard, and I grind into his bulge. Normally, we were careful with our raging hormones, but today appears to be the exception. That was fine with me though.

I grind into him a little harder, and he groans again, his mouth peppering my neck with kisses. "Roza… You're the best mistake I've ever made."

I jerk away, as if I had just been slapped, which, metaphorically, I had been. Dimitri looks at me with confusion.

"W-What?" I ask, biting back tears.

He seems to realize his mistake right then, because his eyes widen and he takes a step towards me. "Rose, I didn't mean…"

But it's too late. I am already running off, his calls fading into the distance. Hot tears threaten to spill out, but I don't care. I run to the chapel, and ignore the curious stares of the few morois in the chapel. Thankfully, they were all freshmen, so they weren't too familiar with my identity. Or maybe they were… At this point, I didn't care.

I was hoping that Christian wouldn't be up there right now, so I could have a few minutes to cry and mourn, and be a typical heartbroken teenager. But, luck isn't on my side today, because he's sitting on a crate, his back to me.

"Well look who finally decided to show up. I thought you were shagging Dimitri, you were taking so long. I'm glad-" he turns to face me, and then notices my expression, and his eyes widen in concern.

"Rose, what's wrong? Are you ok? What happened?" He asks, standing up and walking over to me in two long strides.

And that's it. I lose it. I begin sobbing uncontrollably, my back sliding down the wall.

He sits down next to me, putting his arm awkwardly around me, pulling me close to him. Normally I would tense up and push him away, but right now, his embrace made me feel less alone.

"Rose, come on, please tell me. What happened? Was it Dimitri? Did he hurt you? Because I swear to god if he did anything-"

"He did, but not physically."

"Did he cheat?"

"No. I was walking back to my dorm from the library, and he met up with me, and then we were kissing… And I thought things were great, you know? But, just as things were getting hot and heavy, he told me 'Roza, you're the best mistake I've ever made.' A mistake? I never realized I meant so little to him."

"Rose.. I'm so sorry. Do you want me to kick his ass?" He asks, and I take a small glance at him. His face is scrunched up with sympathy and I can see his jaw clenched. He looks so determined right now, that I can't help but feel a little better.

I laugh a little and shake my head. "Like you could take him."

"Hey man. Don't underestimate my talents. I may not be Chuck Norris, but I could kick that Russian prat's ass any day of the week."

"I don't want to spoil your clearly insane thought process, but I don't want to see you end up on your deathbed. Dimitri would wipe the floor with your skinny ass. But, thank you for being there for me."

"I appreciate the sentimentality and all these feelings we're sharing, and your obvious lack of faith in me. But, why didn't you go to Lissa with this?"

"It's simple. I didn't want to get the 'I told you so' speech. She warned me not to go after him because she didn't want me to get hurt. I ignored her, and she was right, and I just don't want anyone to point out the fact that I was stupid and naive for going for a guy like that. Of course I would be a mistake to him! He made it pretty clear that he viewed me as a child. I feel so used, and hurt, and stupid! Why am I so stupid?" I shout, the tears spilling down my cheeks again.

Christian wipes a tear away with his thumb. "Rose, you're not stupid. We've all done things we regret, and that's normal."

"I feel like I've been hit in the chest multiple times with molten lava. It hurts so bad. But, I should've known. Why would someone like that go for me? I mean, I'm so plain looking, and he's sexy."

"Rose, you're wrong. You're absolutely gorgeous, and if he can't see that, he's a fucking idiot."

"No, he's right. It was all a mistake. I was naive and idiotic, and such a child! All I'll ever be is a convenient fuck, and he made me feel ugly, but now I see that it's true. If I was prettier, maybe he would've been more willing to pursue a relationship with me. Maybe if I had better eyes, or blonde hair or-"

Christian jerks my head towards him and shuts me up with the crashing of his lips against mine. I freeze in shock, all rationality going out of my brain. "Christian, what the fuck? We can't! We have to be better than that. Think about-"

"I'm done thinking, Rose. I may of only had sex with you once, but it was one of the best nights I've ever had. You took my virginity, Rose. Maybe you didn't want to know that, but yeah. I gave my virginity to you. I love Lissa, with my whole being. But, for one more night, I want you."

And with that, he kisses me harder, his hands engulfing themselves in my hair.