Shizuo's POV
When I woke up this morning I knew two things; one, I had a throbbing headache and two, I was pretty fucking confused. Not only did I wake up on the floor, but I was also butt ass naked with my clothes laying in random spots of the room. Now fully awake, I sit up and scan the apartment for any signs of Izaya, but found none. Guess he was out doi—Wait! It's a school day! I get up and rush over to the tiny clock that was sitting on Izaya's desk. FUCK! It's 10:28! I am so late!
I gather my clothes in a hurry, but my headache is making the task more difficult then it actually was. I grasp my head with one hand and slip on my boxers with the other. When I grab my pants to slip them on, I start to feel extremely dizzy and nearly fall over. The couch suddenly feels very far away even though I know it's only just a few steps away from me. Reaching my arm out, I try and find the smoothness of the leather couch. Once my hand meets the leather, I push myself over to it and collapse with a puff sound of sinking leather. My eyes drift shut which eases my dizziness, but does nothing for the pounding pain in my head. Letting out a sigh of frustration, I begin to massage my temples in hopes that would help but it doesn't. It was extremely rare that I ever got sick and I never missed a day of school. Sure, I was late on occasion but my schooling is very important to me. Finishing school is the only thing that might help me achieve a promising future, so I took it very seriously. I push myself up on my elbows and sit there for a moment, but the dizziness starts up again so I am forced to lay back down.
Looks like I'm not going to school today.
My hand drops off the couch and begins to search for the softness of the new comforter Izaya had bought me the day before. The blanket is pulled up off the floor and thrown to cover my whole body and head from the painful light rays. Why Izaya owned so many lights when he had a huge ass window, God only knows. My body begins to relax and I cuddle more into the soft blanket. I suddenly feel very thankful that Izaya insisted on buying me new bedding.
As I lay there in the comforting silence, I try and think back to what happened last night. The last thing I can remember is eating tacos with Izaya…everything after that is really fuzzy. It's not surprising that I can't remember though. My memory really sucks, unless I make a conscious effort to try and remember something. Even then though I don't always remember. I tried to focus on the tiny bits that I could remember to see if I could somehow piece things together, but I couldn't. So I decide to just give up and succumb to the sleep that is so desperately calling me.
Aroma of food and soft sizzling sounds coaxes me to wake out of dreamland. Slowly, I blink my eyes and look up at the ceiling. I blink again to get my eyes to focus before sitting up, still in a sleepy daze.
"Morning sleepy head~" I heard a familiar voice call out to me. I turn my head to see Izaya standing next to the stove with an apron on and spatula in hand.
Now that isn't something you see everyday.
"What time is it?" I ask while rubbing my eyes. I heard the sound of the contains in the pan he was hovering over being stirred before I got my answer.
"5:18." My eyes shoot open in shock. Was I really asleep that long?
"You mean I have been asleep for 7 hours!?"
"It's not my fault that you're lazy Shizu-chan." He said with a slight chuckle. "Shinra thought that I killed you when you didn't show up to school." I stared at Izaya's back while he talked.
"What did you tell him?" I asked while running my hand through my hair. I really needed a shower…
"That I had no clue." Part of me liked that Shinra didn't know but part of me didn't like it. I was terrible at keeping secrets let alone from one of my best friends. I also didn't want the stress of hiding secrets at the moment.
I hear Izaya started to hum softly while he grabbed a cup of water and pour it into the pan. For a moment, I wondered if this is how it always was at his house. Did his mom always cook for him like he was doing for me right now? Was he always greeted so warmly when he woke up like he just did when I woke up? All these things were foreign to me. Nothing like this ever happened at my house. Getting up off the couch, I grabbed my pants and shirt and began to dress myself. There was a click of the stove top being turned off before I turned to see the flea scooping the contents he had been cooking onto two plates.
"I made stir-fry, I'm not sure what you like to eat besides tacos." It was only then that I noticed that the tiny table that he had in the kitchen was already set for two. He walked over and placed the two plates next to the settings before taking a seat and staring at me. "Well…?"
"Well what?"
"Are you going to sit?" This momentarily shocked me. I can't remember the last time I ate dinner with someone besides at the taco place with him yesterday. That didn't count though, we were surrounded by people then. This setting was more…intimate I guess is the right word. Not intimate in a romantic way, intimate as in more personal. I mumbled my thanks to the flea before sitting down across from him. He began to eat his food while I simply picked at mine. Even though I hadn't eaten for nearly 24 hours, I wasn't hungry. Izaya seemed to notice this and made a sound of disapproval.
"You know the least you can do is try it. I'm eating it so that means it's not poisoned." He said before taking another bite of his meal. I took a bite of my food to appease the man across from me. It was surprisingly delicious. "Good?" He asked.
"Yeah, thanks." I simply said before taking another bite. We continued to eat in silence and soon enough we both finished our meals. He gathered up our two plates and placed them in the sink with the water running over them to wash away the residue.
"Is this how your dinners where like at your house?" I asked breaking the silence between us.
"No, we never had an organized dinner like this. We were lucky if we even had food in our fridge." He said while washing the plates.
"Were your parents always busy or something?" I asked while leaning against the wall.
"More like too poor to buy food." I tried to think of something to say to that, but I couldn't think of anything. I guess since Izaya lived a more glamorous life style, I just assumed that his family must have been loaded. He dried the plates and put them away before walking over to his laptop and opening it. My mind went back to wondering where he got all his money. He sure as hell has to have a lot of it to buy all his expensive furniture and rent wasn't cheap.
The sound of clicking brought my attention back to reality. I looked over and saw the flea typing a million keys a minute with his face glued to the computer. Kind of creepy if you ask me.
"I'm going for a walk." I announced but received no response. Assuming that he heard me, I walked out of the apartment to walk the now dark streets of Ikebukuro. I really needed to just collect my thoughts.
What the hell was I going to do? I couldn't live with the flea forever, but I also had nowhere else to go. I suppose I can always try and get a job but in the pasted when I did, my reputation caused me immediate denial. It was times like this when I really hated myself. If I wasn't such a fucking mistake, then I wouldn't be in this situation. I would have more friends, I would have never been kicked out of my house, my grades would be a lot better, hell I might even have a girl friend. But no, that wasn't the way my life was suppose to be. I was meant to suffer in loneliness with nothing but my strength to fall back on.
Walking across the street, I find myself in front of a machine that I hadn't visited in awhile. Checking my pockets for cash, I pulled out a couple crumpled up bills that were suppose to be my lunch money. Smoothing them out against the machine, I placed them in one by one and pushed a button. There was a soft 'clunk' and I reached down to pick up in the small carton that fell. I ripped off the plastic wrapping and pulled one of the white sticks out to place it between my lips. Searching my pockets again, I pulled out a lighter, that I bought back in Junior high, and lite the end of the cigarette. I inhale deeply before pulling the stick out and blowing out the smoke. Rarely did I ever smoke. It was only times when I got extremely stressed that I did, time's like right now.
Leaning my back against the machine, I slide down the cold metal before my butt met the ground. I placed the cigarette between my lips again and took another long drag. People walked passed me and stared at me as they passed. The way they looked at me made me feel like I was a freak on display. But then again, that's just what I am. I chuckled softly to myself after taking a third inhale of the cigarette.
"I wonder if they see the monster in me too." I say to myself while letting the smoke leave my mouth.
Poor Shizu-chan is depressed ;_; It's okay, Izaya will cheer you up...*whistles*
So you might all kill me for this, but I love when Shizuo smokes. I absolutely hate it when people write stories and they make him quit smoking. It's a part of his personality, it gives his character depth...And it's really attractive to me. (Even though I don't smoke and think it's extremely disgusting in real life.)
For all of you thinking "What the fuck, they just had sex and now it's like it didn't happen?!" Well that will be explained in later chapters...you will see, don't worry. Also for those of you thinking "Why the fuck has Izaya's personality suddenly taken a 160?" Go back and re-read the previous chapters. Because you missed something kind of important to the story line.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed Shizu-chan being depressed ^_^ It's actually not very common for Shizuo being the one going through the depression so...I hope it's not too odd for you all. Review people :D
