(Hi everyone! Again I thank all of you who have been reviewing, following or favoriting this story. I can't express enough how much it means to me. This chapter focuses mainly on Grantaire and Enjolras and their relationship. I really hope you will enjoy it, because it is one of the chapters I worked hardest for. Please let me know what you think! Enjoy)

The visits from his friends had taken a lot out of Enjolras. He was tired and had just started to doze off when there was a soft knock on the door. Enjolras watched Combeferre with sleepy eyes as he walked to the door and opened up.

"Look what I brought with me", came the joviant voice of Courfeyrac. "Can we come in or is our patient already asleep?"

We? Who would be with Courfeyrac then? Enjolras asked himself. He automatically sat up straighter, stretching his neck trying to see the door.

"If he is, please don't wake him for my benefit", came a soft voice.

Grantaire. Enjolras knew at once. Before Combeferre could answer and before Enjolras had thought about if he really was feeling up to a visit from his friend, he called out. "I am not sleeping".

Combeferre opened the door and let both of his friends in. Grantaire kept looking at the floor, shuffling in softly. His whole posture shouting he didn't really want to be here. Combeferre shared a concerned look with Courfeyrac, who only shrugged and raised his eyebrows.

There was an awkard silence for a minute before Grantaire spoke up.

"Hey there Apollo", he said, trying a grin that never reached his eyes.

Enjolras frowned, too taken aback by Granaire's unexpected, almost shy behavior that he actually forgot to speak.

He then cleared his throat, blinked back his confusion and said: "decided to come by after all huh?"

There was no real anger in Enjolras' voice, but Grantaire still flinched, looking back at the floor, fumbling the clean shirt he wore with his fingers.

Courfeyac interrupted the silence by suggesting he and Combeferre go for a stroll outside while "these two" could talk for a bit.

Both patient and drunkard looked up shocked. Neither really looking forward to being alone with each other.

Combeferre seemed reluctant too at first, but then remembered what Grantaire had told him that night he came looking for Enjolras and he decided it would indeed be best to let these two be alone for a little while.

"Yes", he said, nodding and putting on his jacket, "I think I could use some fresh air, been locked up in here with this stubborn boy here for nearly two whole days and nights."

Enjolras frowned. "Very funny", he said dryly, watching both Courfeyrac and Combeferre step out the door.

"We won't be too long", Combeferre called back and then the door closed and there was silence once again.

Enjolras looked at Grantaire, who was still standing in the middle of the room looking anywhere but at Enjolras. The blonde took a breath and then said calmly "you can sit down you know." He motioned to the chair next to his bed which had last been occupied by Combeferre.

"Uh, oh yes, of course", Grantaire mumbled, taking a seat next to his Apollo's bed, eyes fixed on the hands in his lap.

Enjolras didn't understand this Grantaire. He had never seen him like this, at a loss for words, nervous and clearly uncomfortable.

"Are you okay?", he asked.

This caused Grantaire to look up surprised. "Me? Yes, I'm fine, why are you asking? You're the one with a broken head you know."

"I know. But I call to remember you pounding at my front door and yelling at Combeferre to let him in just so you could give me a piece of your mind. And now you're sitting there saying nothing, not looking at me. Not even showing up had it not been for Courfeyrac to come and get you... You can't blame me for being confused here."

Grantaire looked away again and shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know what to say to that.

"Aren't you mad at me anymore? Because it's not surprising if you are. I've had some angry Amis visit me today already and frankly I had expected the same from you."

"No", Grantaire said quietly.

"No, what?" Enjolras replied sharply. He didn't know how to interact with this timid version of his friend and to be honest, it was kind of frustrating.

"No, I'm not mad anymore", Grantaire said. He cleared his throat and continued, "I'm actually not sure if I was ever really angry in the first place. I think it was more fear that made me react the way I did."

"Fear?" Enjolras asked.

"Yes. Fear. Fear of losing you. You know it's not easy for me to see you like this. I don't like to see you broken", Grantaire mumbled.

Enjolras was at a loss for words for a moment. "We agree on something finally then", he muttered, smiling slightly, "I don't like it either."

Grantaire didn't return the smile. "You don't understand."

"Then explain to me", Enjolras said, feeling a little worried. What was going on here? Combeferre told him he and Grantaire needed a good heart to heart talk. Had Grantaire been acting this way towards Combeferre as well?

"You'll think it's stupid"

"You don't know that until you tell me"

Grantaire sighed and mumbled: "fine, if you really want to know."

Enjolras narrowed his eyes at Grantaire, taking in the cautious attitude of his friend. He stayed silent, giving Grantaire the time to start talking.

"I uh…I've never exactly have lived a happy life you know. I mean, it's all been kind of crappy ever since..", he paused, taking a moment, "ever since my sister died when I was still a child."

Enjolras nodded, having heard the story before from Courfeyrac when Grantaire had only just joined their group a few years back.

"My parents changed after that. I never seemed to be able to fill my sisters' shoes. They kicked me out eventually and to cope with the loss and the guilt, I turned towards alcohol rather quickly. It made me feel less miserable."

Enjolras nodded, noticing that Grantaire still hadn't looked at him once and he could kind of relate to that. Talking about your past when it wasn't particularly happy, wasn't easy. He kept silent.

"Soon it wasn't enough though. I missed having my family around. I didn't have any friends and to be honest I was actually ready to just end it all. I hit rock bottom and I wanted to end all my pain and suffering, drown myself in that bottle of liquor and never wake up again. And that's when I met Courfeyrac. He actually found me on the verge of ending my misery. I never told him that though. And he took me to the Café, introduced me to all of you. And I met you Apollo, and you changed everything."

This took Enjolras by surprise. From the first day they met, he and Grantaire had been bickering, fighting and argumenting. How he could have been a change in Grantaire's feelings didn't make sense to him. "I don't understand", he said and he really didn't.

Grantaire smiled wryly. "I know you don't. And it's hard to explain. But you gave my life new meaning. Not through your ideals of course, because you know how I feel about them. But just because of you. You in person. You embody everything I ever wished to be. You are everything I never will be and being close to something like that turned everything around. I felt alive again. You are my exact opposite. A sun to my own rain, water to wine, life to death. I need you like I need the air to breath, Apollo. And I know that may sound horribly dependent, but that's what I am. I am dependent on you. Even though you may hate me and never count me as a friend, I see you as one of my best friends, because you save me every day, without even knowing it. You, and all the amis for that matter, mean more to me than any of you will ever realize."

He paused, looking down at his hands, over thinking his next few words. "When you collapsed in the café, I felt physically sick. I was so frightened I might lose my one anchor in life, because losing you Apollo, it would also mean the end of me. And how dramatic that may sound, it is the truth. Then Courfeyrac came in and told us you had been hiding a serious injury, I was angry, sure, but I was mostly scared. Because what if next time you succeeded in keeping it from us and we would find you dead in your bed, and you would've never known how much you mean to me, or to any of us for that matter. I had to talk to you right away and that's why I went up here that night, shouting and all. I was panicking…"

He trailed off, not really knowing how to continue anymore. Enjolras hadn't spoken at all. He had just listened, giving Grantaire all the time he needed to complete his story. Grantaire then suddenly felt a hand tugging at his own.

Enjolras had reached out and took hold of Grantaire's hand. "Look at me", he said. Grantaire obeyed. There was no anger or disappointment in Enjolras' eyes, only genuine concern and understanding.

" First of all", he started, "I do not hate you." Grantaire wanted to interrupt but Enjolras held up his hand. "It's my turn to speak now 'Taire"

"I don't hate you. Yes, I hate your drinking, and I have my reasons for it. I hate the fact that you always mock my beliefs, that you counter every argument I give and that you disturb my meetings. But that doesn't mean I hate you. On the contrary 'Taire, you mean as much to me as any of the other Amis. I know I don't show it, but that is because you always anger me so. You are one of the smartest men I know, you have such illuminating insights and you could do so much more if you only believed it yourself. I admire your loyalty, for you are without a doubt the most loyal of all the Amis. You don't believe in the cause, which annoys me, but you still stay and fight. You defend your friends and you would die for them in a second. Why do you think I keep you around? Not because I hate you 'Taire, on the contrary!"

Grantaire had looked away again. He wasn't used to this kind of friendliness from Enjolras. Then he felt his hand being squeezed gently and he looked back up.

"You and I are not so different as you think we might be. We have made different choices in life and chose different paths, but I can relate to your past in some ways." That was all he was going to say on that subject. He wasn't ready to tell it all again, he didn't feel like it.

At Grantaires confused look, he said. "I'm not going into details now, you can talk to Combeferre and Courfeyrac if you want, all I'll say now is that my past has not been as pleasant as some of you might think."

"Look, R, I really need you to get this through to you. You need to believe me when I say you are as much a part of our group as any other. Which you should actually count as an honor, since you don't even share our ideals."

He hesitated and then continued. "And I promise to you as I have promised the others that I will try to react differently if something's wrong with me. I'll promise to take better care of myself, if only for the benefit of my dear friends, you included."

He paused and took a breath. "But on one condition 'Taire."

"And what is that?", Grantaire asked quietly. Fearing Enjolras would demand him to stop drinking or something like that. He couldn't do that. He needed that drink almost as much as he needed Enjolras around.

Enjolras seemed to guess what Grantaire was thinking, for he said calmly, albeit a little annoyed: "Don't worry, I'm not going to take away your precious drink."

Grantaire smiled uncomfortable and let out a relieved breath.

"I want you to promise me to never forget this conversation we had."

Grantaire blinked at Enjolras. He hadn't expected that. He wanted to ask what the blonde leader meant by it, but he didn't have to, for he already explained himself.

"When I get back on my feet; when we're in a meeting again or a demonstration or whatever, you are going to be drunk, you are going to annoy me and I am going to say things. Things that are harsh, maybe even mean sometimes and I know they hurt you, just like your words hurt me at times. We both know that's going to happen again. I have issues with your drinking; you have issues with my revolution or 'useless sacrifice' as you call it. All I'm asking is to remember what I told you today. And to never forget it. I do not hate you 'Taire. And to know that you have always friends to come and talk to should you need it. Me included."

He made sure to emphasize that last part and squeezed his friends hand again, hoping his friend had really heard him.

Grantaire sniffed a bit and then looked Enjolras in the eyes. "I promise", his voice thick with emotion.

Enjolras smiled. "Good", he said.

They were both silent again, but this time it wasn't awkard. It was comfortable and easy. Enjolras started to really feel exhausted at this point and let his eyes fall close for a minute.

Grantaire made to stand, telling Enjolras he should go and let him rest, but Enjolras tightened his grip on Grantaire's hand, not quite ready to let go yet.

"You can stay", he mumbled sleepily, "Combeferre wouldn't take it kindly if you should leave me here all by myself." A small smile crept on his face at the thought of it.

Before he fell asleep, he said softly: "I'm really glad you came by R". Then his breathing evened out.

Grantaire sat silent. All sorts of emotions flooding through him. Non of them negative however, which was something new indeed. He would have never thought he and Enjolras would have a conversation such as the one they had just now. The fact that Enjolras counted him as one of his closest friends, despite their constant arguing, made Grantaire feel something he hadn't felt since before his sister died. He felt appreciated. He felt worthy. He felt loved.

He kept watch over his blonde friend until Combeferre and Courfeyrac came back home and then he stayed a little longer.

TBC

(Well, I certainly hope you liked this chapter. It was pretty emotional for me to write. Please let me know what you think. I really want to know if I did good this chapter, for it was one of my hardest to write. Not many chapters left for this story now. But I hope I'm coming to a nice ending. See you next time!)