Hello!

Please don't faint, I know, I'm finally updating…it's really quite shocking. LOL!

But joking aside, if you're actually still interested in reading this after such a long wait, please accept these fresh cyber cookies. :) And thank you to my friend ThisLoveHasNoCeiling, who has the coolest username ever, and waits these ridiculously long waits every time to read this - thank you so much my friend! Also, thanks to Jessdance34 for her review and lovely encouragement, I can't thank you enough! To anyone who's stuck with me on this story, I want to thank you, it means an awful lot to me.
I hope you like it and can ignore the typos! haha!
Thank you!

(as always, HP, characters, places, etc. belong to the lovely J.K. Rowling :)


10. A New Leader

When Tonks and Lupin had both mastered their sorrow for the time being, they got up, dressed, and ate in silence. Despite the fact that she had little desire to eat, her body had other ideas. But her mind was elsewhere...
Tonks knew where they had to go this morning, and she was trying her hardest not to think about what Lupin and Bill might - or might not - find.

Tonks didn't realise her abstraction until her half-empty plate, upon which all the food had gone cold, was being slid out from in front of her by Lupin.
"I'm sorry Remus," she said in a quiet voice, moving to stand up.
She was stopped by the warm pressure of Lupin's hand firmly on her shoulder.
"Thank you," she said, obliging his silent prompt to stay where she was.

Lupin set their plates in the sink, flicked his wand at them without glancing back, walked back over to where she was sitting, and knelt before her, taking her hands in his and kissing each of them before speaking.
"Don't apologise Dora. I'm afraid my mind's wandered to the same place. But perhaps it will be best to go and get it over with, yes?" he asked.
"You're right." she admitted, blinking rapidly a couple times and squaring her shoulders.

He gazed at her for a moment and saw how pained she still was despite the brave face and sighed.
"Dora, come here." he murmured.
She wrapped her arms around him, and he pulled her close, feeling a distant sort of surprise when he lifted her and turned so that he was sitting in the chair with her in his lap.
"Sweetheart..." he whispered, his hushed tone filled with sadness.

Neither of them knew what to say to help the other; there were no words for such a time, such a pain. So they simply sat for a little while, clinging to the only light this dark world had for them anymore. Each other.
For a while no sound touched them. It was as if they were enclosed in a silent place where time did not exist. As if, at this moment, the world had frozen mid-turn, time forgotten. Neither of them spoke, but they sat holding each other, Lupin rocking her gently and stroking her hair in a steady rhythm that was soothing.
And it would have been peaceful but for the pain that they each knew.
Their quiet bubble was broken by the clock striking nine a.m.

Lupin sighed and she leaned back just a bit and looked up into his eyes. He met hers, and in his gaze she read a brave sort of sadness mixed with worry for her, and a hard resolve as if readying himself for what he knew he and Bill were going to have to do on this morning.
She reached up and stroked his cheek, "Thank you for always being here to hold me Remus." she whispered, her emotions trying to take over again.

He smiled softly, a sad smile that she returned.
"As long as I can, I promise I always will be." he murmured.
And though Tonks knew it wasn't a promise he could be sure of keeping in these dangerous times, the fact that he wanted to promise it still made her heart ache with a painful kind of joy.

Leaning up, she place a soft kiss on his jaw before hugging him close for another few moments.

A great sigh left him and he kissed her hair, holding her for a moment as well.
And then the moment ended and those rose without a word to prepare for the difficult day ahead. But where they were headed to, hard and painful though it was, they were going together.
And that was all they needed to get through it. His lips touched her hair once again, before he stood, pulling her up with him and hugging her close for one more moment before letting her go.

They then got ready to go, which didn't take long. Tonks flicked her wand at the food and it packaged itself up and flew into the pantry, neatly stacked on the shelves.
Under Lupin's guidance, she had been growing progressively better at charms, and was glad for it on days like today.

Scrunching her face up in concentration, she changed her hair from pink to a muted shade of blue, which she found more appropriate. She then laced up her boots and tucked her wand in the inner pocket of her robes; Lupin donned his cloak and grabbed his wand. Just as they were about to walk out the door, he stopped her and placed a hand on her shoulder and one cupped her face, "I know it doesn't feel like it now, but things will be okay again." He said gently.
"I know," She said softly.
And they joined hands and walked out the door, down the steps, out of the yard, and then turned and Disapparated together.


When Tonks and Lupin arrived at the Burrow, they found that it was quiet, almost solemn, and Tonks wondered if everything would reflect the loss that had been suffered the night before.

They sent their Patronuses inside, and Tonks's wolf Patronus ran around Lupin's barn owl Patronus as they flew into the Burrow right through the door and disappeared. Tonks would have been surprised that she would have been able to conjure a Patronus, except for Lupin. Memories of him, and moments spent with him, made it possible.

"What did you think of?" she asked him quietly.
He paused for a moment before turning to face her and answering: "I thought of the first full moon that you stayed with me when I transformed." his blue eyes were tender in a way that could never be described as he stared into hers, drawing a soft line along her jaw to her chin, "And you?"
"I thought of our wedding...and afterwards..." she trailed off with a blush.
He smiled, a happy, but teasing glint in his eyes as he took her hand again.
"I'm glad I could help." he joked.
"Shut up, git." she muttered, stifling a laugh.
The intense look in his blue eyes quieted her humour and made her feel as though the very air around them had grown suddenly warmer.
They both stood, hands entwined, eyes locked, remembering...

Someone cleared their throat next to them and Tonks jumped a bit, scolding herself on her lax in Auror-vigilance, and looked to see Fleur standing on the other side of the gate, looking on in marked, but understanding, amusement.
If Tonks hadn't been sad, she would have laughed. It was always Fleur that happened upon them when they were wrapped up in each other. Lupin cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Hello Tonks, Remus," Fleur greeted.
Tonks smiled a little at the way Lupin's name rolled off of Fleur's tongue with a longer than normal 'e'.
"Wotcher Fleur," Tonks said.
"Fleur," Lupin greeted at the same time.
"'Ow are you both?" Fleur asked, kind concern in her stunning blue eyes as she opened the gate to allow them into the Burrow. Tonks thought absently that Fleur would end up making a good Weasley. She was very hospitable, polite, and kind – even if she was very headstrong, she would do the family proud in the end, despite Molly's old worries.
Tonks merely shrugged and Fleur nodded understandingly.
"And you?" Tonks asked quietly.
"As well as can be, given ze recent events." Fleur stated as she led them into the Burrow.

The door of the Burrow opened just as they reached the doorstep, and Bill stepped out, closing it behind him.
Tonks took in her old friends' face and saw the same hard expression that was in Lupin's eyes. She felt the sad ache that was new from Mad-Eye's death start to throb again as she thought of how hard it would be to do what they were about to do.
"Tonks, Remus," Bill greeted.

They returned his greeting, and Tonks looked away as Bill took Fleur's hand. Looking at Lupin, she felt suddenly so grateful for him she didn't know how to put it into words. "Be careful," she whispered. "And Remus..." she said as he began to turn away, towards Bill. He looked back, "Thank you," she said, wishing she could tell him how much it meant to her that he was willing to do such a hard thing to let everyone say goodbye to their fierce leader and friend, who left them all as a hero.

She blinked tears out of her eyes, and looked up to see the sad, sympathetic expression in his eyes that told her he understood what she was thanking him for, what she couldn't put into words.
He was back to her in two strides and taking her hands in his, kissing her forehead, "It'll be alright." he said quietly, for her ears only.
She nodded, took a deep, shaky breath, and released his hands after holding them tightly for another moment, trying not to let her fear for her husband take over her rationality.
The Death Eaters were most likely too busy congratulating themselves on last night to be out and on the look-out for more Order members… At least she hoped so.

"Ready, Remus?" Bill asked.
Lupin nodded, stepped away from her as Bill had stepped away from Fleur, his shoulders set. There were two brooms leaning against the side of the Burrow, and at Lupin's silent command, they came flying over. Bill and Lupin each caught one and then walked through the magical boundaries before Disapparating, brooms and all, to start at Privet Drive and relive their journey from the night before.

Tonks glanced over at the restless face of her friend, and Fleur smiled a little, "Would you like to come een? Molly 'as been waiting for ze two of you. She iz a leetle...anxious." Fleur said, and Tonks nodded sympathetically. "I suppose we all are," She replied absently.
Fleur nodded, and they made their way to the door.

Molly rushed to greet Tonks the moment she walked through the door, and she noted the slightly amused, 'told you' glint in Fleur's eyes.
Tonks was grateful for the strength of her unlikely friend - it steadied her own nerves, offset Molly's worries, and lightened Tonks's heart as much as it could be.
"How are you Tonks?" Molly asked in a motherly way, inspecting her eyes subtly for any hint of tears.
"Alright," Tonks said, "and you two?" she asked, directing this question to both Fleur and Molly.
"I'll be better when Bill and Remus are back to safety."
"As will I," Fleur echoed.
"Me too," Tonks agreed.

Molly ushered them into the kitchen and poured them all cups of tea, and then they sat in silence, glancing at the clock every minute or so.
The seconds ticked by slowly.
Ginny entered the kitchen after a little while, closely followed by Ron.
Molly fussed over them both as only a mother can do. "Are either of you hungry?" she asked her children, standing up before they'd even answered.

Without waiting for them to reply, she pulled out her wand and flicked it at the tabletop, where a large plate of fresh muffins appeared.
Ron's eyes lit up and Tonks nearly laughed.
"Thanks Mum," Ron said as he grabbed two muffins and a third which he promptly took a bite out of.
She stifled a chuckle, hoping Ron was planning to share those with Harry and Hermione, though it didn't appear that he was.
"Wotcher Ron, Ginny." Said Tonks.
"Hey Tonks, Fleur," Ron said, ears turning a bit pink as though he'd just noticed the other two women sitting in the kitchen with his mum.
"Good morning Ron," Fleur said with a smile.
After nearly choking on his bite of muffin, Ron mumbled a hasty "G'morning," in return.

A glance at Ginny confirmed that Tonks was not the only one who found this scene amusing.
Ginny was looking at Ron with a disparaging expression on her face as if she wanted to say something snarky.
But instead she picked up a muffin and turned, "Hey Tonks,"
"Wotcher Ginny," She returned.
"How are you?" Ginny asked, a concerned look mirroring the one her mum wore so often in the recent days shadowing her face.
"Fine," Tonks answered hastily. "Good to have Harry home safe and sound?" She added slyly, hoping to divert the subject.
Ginny sent a fake dirty look at Tonks before laughing a bit and answering a little too casually, "Yeah, brilliant."

But it was plain to all that she was happier now that Harry was around. Ginny just had an extra sort of spark about her. She wondered if that's what everyone in love looked like and they just didn't know it...
Her welcome distraction of thoughts on this vein was broken by Molly, and Tonks was jerked back to the weary, daunting reality they were all facing.

Tonks looked on in silence as Molly broke Ron's dazed-looking reverie of staring at Fleur by ushering he and Ginny out of the kitchen to tidy their rooms with the reminder of Fleur's parents' arrival in a few days.
Ginny complied without complaint, waving at Tonks, and a grumbling Ron followed, leaving the women in silence once more.

Both the window and the clock frequently drew their eyes.
Molly's unique clock was especially helpful. Bill's hand stayed on the 'traveling' spot, but she knew it would begin inching towards home when they were coming back this way.

And so they waited.
The silence was not unfriendly; on the contrary, Tonks felt much comforted by her two friends' support.
Fleur and Tonks glanced periodically at the window, hoping to see their loved one's returning.
But there simply wasn't much to be said. All there was left to do was wait.


Nearly two, extremely long hours later, Bill and Lupin's Patronuses came floating into the kitchen where they had been waiting. Tonks had been standing by the window since Bill's hand on the clock started moving towards the 'home' spot.
As the Patronuses entered the Burrow, Tonks caught sight of them waiting at the gate and walked quickly to the door. Fleur, who had been pacing and sitting at intervals, followed her instantly, Molly on her heels, knitting forgotten. The women quickly made their way out to the gate.

Tonks felt relief flood through her at the sight of Lupin and Bill waiting there.
Arthur was already striding across the yard to greet them as well. Gauging from the shed door that was carefully half closed, Tonks guessed that Arthur had been up to something Molly disapproved of – her guess was repairing Sirius's motorbike.

Anxiety quickly replaced her relief as she noted the expression on Lupin's face. He looked wind-blown and defeated.
Beside him, Bill wore a similar expression. But his face also bore signs of anger.
"Bill!" Molly cried in relief as they reached the men, flinging the gate open for them to come in.
Bill said nothing, but Tonks, though she wanted to be wrong, knew what was coming from the hard look in his eyes, and the defeated look in Lupin's.
Bill embraced his Mum, and Molly sighed in relief. Arthur patted his shoulder before letting him go to Fleur. Bill turned and embraced his fiancé, for longer, as though he needed the steadiness of her presence.

Tonks was so glad they had each other. She wouldn't have believed it before, but after the night Dumbledore had died it had been proven; Fleur was indeed a strong woman. And Bill was a strong man.
But in these times, even the strongest would stumble and crack under the devastating weight of the tragedies they were faced with. Would be driven to the edge of what they could take, and of their very courage.
Fleur smoothed his windblown hair gently and Tonks, Arthur, and Molly looked away, letting them have privacy for a moment.

Lupin had shut the gate, leaned against it for a moment, head bowed, before turning and placing himself where he stood now: quietly beside Tonks; she looked over at him, and met his gaze. His eyes held years of pain and sadness, and guilt was there as well, which confused her a bit. He was looking at her as though he'd like nothing more than to pull her close and hide them from the world.
She understood that feeling...but both knew that they could never give up.

They had to keep going. Keep trying. Keep caring. Find whatever hope they could and cling to it with all they had in them. Their world depended on it.
Bill and Fleur let go of each other then and Fleur came over to see what Lupin had to say. Bill came over as well, and rested a hand on his Mum's shoulder and a hand on Fleur's. Arthur had a hand on Molly's other shoulder, and was rubbing it comfortingly.
Molly was studying Lupin's face as well, and when Arthur spoke, all of them unconsciously stiffened, fearing what Lupin might say. "What happened? Did you find anything?"
Tonks watched Lupin, dreading his answer.

He sighed before meeting their questioning gazes squarely and confirming their fears.
"We flew over the entire route and the surrounding area three times - searched from the ground, looked from the sky. We couldn't find a trace of him. Of any of them." He answered, voice low and worn. "It looks like last night's battle never even happened. They cleaned up their mess well." He finished tersely.
Arthur's features turned grim, and Molly's eyes filled with moisture but she simply nodded.
Fleur looked down, but Tonks saw the sorrow on her normally cool and breezy features; Bill's jaw and eyes was tight like they got when he was suppressing strong emotions and he put his arm around Fleur's shoulder.
Arthur glanced at his wife, and his grim expression turned gentler somehow, as if he understood without asking what she was feeling.

Vaguely, Tonks wondered morbidly if she and Lupin would have the chance to be married so long that they had a circle of children and know each other so well as only twenty years with someone can teach you.
She watched as if from a distance as Arthur put an arm around his wife's shoulders, hand rubbing it comfortingly, and led her into the house. Tonks had never seen her comply so willingly with consolation in front of others.

Tonks felt numb with disbelief. But one look at Bill and Fleur, who had started to follow Molly and Arthur into the Burrow, hands still clasped, was enough confirmation to make it real. And if it hadn't been, the look on her husband's face would have been enough to confirm the tragedy. Suddenly Tonks felt as though the world had fallen out from under them all. What would they do? Who would lead them?

She didn't realise she was crying until Lupin's arms came about her waist and pulled her to him gently.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest, letting the sorrow have her for a little while. She knew that at this point it was better to let it have its' hour so that she could heal.

This time though, her sorrow manifested in quiet tears that slipped from her eyes and soundlessly down her cheeks. She was too tired for anything but. Everything in her wanted to deny the horrible possibilities of what had likely happened to Mad-Eye.
Her beloved mentor, like another father to her...
It was so wrong, that, in that moment it felt as though that alone should have some bearing on this outcome…as though such a simple conviction should change this terrible turn of events.
But it would not.

They stood unspeaking and silent, holding each other tightly, weighed down by sorrow and despair as the darkness clouding their world slowly encroached further in on them all.
Tonks didn't know how much time had passed when she felt Lupin's arms loosen and he drew back to look into her eyes.
His eyes held sorrow and an apology when she finally tilted her chin up so that she could meet his eyes.

Though her tears had dried, Lupin brought his fingers to her face and gently traced the tracks they had left on her cheeks. His other hand released her waist and did the same to her other cheek, slowly coming to a rest cupping her face gently in his palms.
Her eyes drifted shut for a moment and allowed his warm hands to comfort her before meeting his deep gaze.

She saw that he had a single tear streaked down each cheek, and gently wiped them both away with the pads of her thumbs before resting her hands over his on her face.
"It's not your fault he wasn't there, Remus," she whispered, answering the onus in his eyes even though he hadn't spoken it aloud.
A pained expression crossed his features and he closed his eyes tightly for a moment; he then leaned forward slightly and placing a tender kiss to her forehead and, lingering there, his cheek resting atop her head, and her forehead resting on his shoulder, he whispered, "Thank you."

They stayed that way for a countless moment before Lupin sighed and kissed her temple, pulled back, and took her hands.
"We'd better go in, I suppose," Tonks said reluctantly. She'd much rather stay in Lupin's arms. But there were things that had to be done now. The Order needed to regroup.
Hestia, Elphias, Dedalus and her parents needed to be contacted, as well as Kingsley, McGonagall, Hagrid, and possibly Charlie as well. Though she supposed there was no sense in contacting him yet and worrying him. After all, he would be arriving soon for Bill and Fleur's wedding.

"Yes. I need to speak with Bill about the meeting. We need to regroup with everyone as soon as we can. Today, if Bill agrees." he said, rubbing a hand across his eyes wearily.
"Are you alright?" he asked, still holding both her hands in his own.
"I will be," she murmured, "as long as I have you."
"And you?" Tonks questioned back.
"I will be, as long as I have you," he repeated with a small smile.
Simple words they may have been, yet the love she heard in them permeated the cold, lonely grief of her heart and replaced it with warmth. She smiled a little, and stood up on her toes, kissing him briefly and lovingly. He returned it softly, and she was comforted by the warm, tender pressure of his lips on hers.

After they broke apart, they walked into the Burrow, hands still joined.
They found everyone in the sitting room, and quietly joined them, taking the two empty chairs on the far side of the room, near Bill and Fleur.
The younger generation had obviously been told what had happened, and all were somber and sad looking. But Harry's face...
Harry's face hit her like a punch in the gut. A face so young should never look so pained.

A glance at Lupin confirmed that he too had noticed Harry's expression.
Harry was staring at the floor, face hard, green eyes pained and filled with guilt. His shoulders were slumped, and he was, for the moment at least, oblivious to the fact that nearly every eye in the room was frequently trained on him. Tonks took in the other faces in the room: Ginny's brown eyes were luminescent with tears and fixed on Harry's defeated figure. Ron and Hermione sat side by side on the little couch with Harry, hands subtly entwined. Hermione had tear-streaks on her face, and Ron's eyes were a little red. Every few moments his eyes would flicker to Hermione's and then to Harry's face anxiously, checking on each of them. Hermione shared a meaningful look with Ron before turning her sad eyes to Harry.

Molly and Arthur were sitting together in an obviously enlarged armchair, Molly's eyes sad, Arthur's worn. Fred and George sat on two conjured kitchen chairs, looking gloomy for probably one of the first times in their extremely jovial lives. Bill and Fleur were sitting on two closely drawn kitchen chairs, hands bound together, as hers and Lupin's were.

The silence in the room was heavy and hung with sorrow and loss.
After another moment however, the silence was broken by Lupin. "We need to regroup - today." he said quietly. "If we wait, we allow the enemy to only grow stronger in our silence."
Arthur and Bill nodded in agreement.

"Molly," Lupin, ever-polite, addressed the Weasley matriarch, "can we gather here this afternoon to regroup?"
"Yes. Of course Remus, dear." she agreed, sitting up a bit more and looking as though she had shaken herself out of her sorrowed stupour.
They all tried to do the same, and they quickly made plans for the meeting, which they scheduled to take place at four o'clock that afternoon. As it was now twelve thirty, Molly insisted that Tonks and Lupin stay for lunch and until the meeting. Tonks felt like they were invading their privacy, but upon voicing this concern, was quickly assured to the contrary. "I need something to keep me busy," Molly said kindheartedly.
Tonks nodded in understanding, "Thank you then," she said gratefully.

And so the afternoon passed with cooking, eating, and general preparations for the meeting.
But it wasn't until two that someone thought to ask, "Did Mad-Eye have a will?"
"Yes," Tonks affirmed, "He...he told me where it was, a few years ago when he said the war was starting again. I...I thought - well it all seemed so unlikely then. But I promised him I'd remember it..." she trailed off, voice thick.
"Does anyone else know where it is?" Molly asked, looking reluctant to send Tonks there after everything - especially as Tonks had been closest to him, and in her condition.
"Not - not that I know of," Tonks said, voice unsteady as she realised what she was going to have to do.

With a quiet sigh she mentally braced herself and shoved away all emotions; she had a job to do, and she would do it. Now was not the time to let emotions get in the way of duty.

With that resolve firmly in mind, she picked up the blue robes she had cast aside earlier when the heat of both those and her Muggle clothing underneath had become too stifling, and put them back on.
It wasn't until she was fastening them that someone spoke.

"Tonks, where are you going?" Molly demanded.
"We need the will for the meeting tonight don't we?" she asked.
"Yes," Arthur admitted after a moment of hesitant silence.
"Alright then," she said, steeling herself against all distractions.

"I'll come with you," Lupin said quietly, "No one should be traveling alone right now." He said, squeezing her hand before letting go.
"We'll be back with the will." Tonks said, and the Weasley's Fleur, Hermione, and Harry all bid she and Lupin a solemn farewell.

Tonks led the way out of the Burrow and into the muggy air of the July summer sun shining down on them.
"Thank you," Tonks said as soon as thee door has closed behind them.
"I don't want you to have to face this alone. I know it isn't easy." he said softly, his blue eyes confirming the truth of his feelings.
His words were like a catalyst for her tears, but she bit them back, restraining the urge to throw her arms around him, and met his eyes instead. Their gaze held, and in the moment of silent communication that passed between them, she knew that he understood everything.
"Let's go," she said when their gaze broke.
She took his hand and they Disapparated together, disappearing instantly from the sunny yard of the Burrow.


They landed just outside of the neighbourhood, and walked quickly to reach their destination.
Mad-Eye's house was on a rather normal, if not sparsely housed, street, full of unassuming, small homes.
They walked down it, trying to look casual, in case there were any Muggles - or anyone else watching. Lupin kept their hands entwined, but she noticed that, like herself, his hand was wrapped around his wand inside his robes, ready to draw and fire at a moment's notice.

As they walked, they casually surveyed the neighbourhood. Once upon a time it might have been a nice one.
But it was now apparent that several of the modest homes had seen better days.
Most looked abandoned; tall, wild lawns, no cars, doors left open to show an empty interior. And some of the houses' conditions made her wonder what had become of the occupants, as well. The farther down the street they got, the worse the houses looked. Only a few at the start of the neighbourhood looked as if they still housed residents. The rest looked wild and uncared for.

She wished they could have Apparated directly to Mad-Eye's, but there was still the chance, however slim, of Death Eaters being there, and it could be very foolish to do so.
The hairs on the back of her neck were standing up and she didn't like the way the neighbourhood felt - as though there were eyes peering out of every empty house, watching them. She glanced at Lupin for reassurance as the sun drew behind the dark grey clouds above them, making the street darker and more ominous than it ought to have been on a summer afternoon. It was also surprisingly cool with the sun hidden away.

Lupin caught her gaze and squeezed her hand reassuringly and she returned the gesture appreciatively.
They made their way down the street, silent and cautious, glancing around with wary eyes for any sign of Death Eaters or... unfriendly wizards.
Finally, after what seemed like rather a long walk, they made it to the house nearest the end of the street. It looked just as modest as the rest of the neighbourhood upon first glance, but Tonks knew the inside belied the outside's appearance.

It was tidy, nothing unnecessary or superfluous inside, but Mad-Eye had clearly always taken pride in what he had.
Tonks gasped audibly, however, when they got close enough to the house to see it clearly.
She'd been afraid of this, but had hoped she was worrying for nothing.
The door was hanging off of it's hinges, and it creaked as the wind breathed a surprisingly cold breath over the street, making Tonks shiver.
She looked up at her husband, and her nerves must have shown in her eyes, for Lupin placed his hand on the small of her back reassuringly for a moment, and she leaned into him gratefully. Another breath of cold air jarred her out of her slight relief and she took a deep breath before nodding at him.

Together they drew their wands and approached the house warily until they stood a few feet in front of the ruined door. They were both mindful of the fact that there could still be Death Eaters inside, and they didn't need to walk into a trap. But there was no way to be sure without moving forward.
"We have to go in," Tonks said, her voice barely a whisper.
Lupin nodded, but touched her shoulder, causing her to pause and glance up at him. He looked at her, his blue eyes alert and anxious and whispered, "Let me go in first, just in case,"
She sighed, but nodded, squeezing his hand before letting him go, praying there were no Death Eaters inside.

Lupin lit his wand and walked into the darkened house first, and she quickly joined him. They stood in the doorway, not venturing any further so that they could not become trapped inside.
Though her eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the semi-darkness in the front room of Mad-Eye's house, her eyes still scanned it warily; it was silent inside. But her time as an Auror had taught her not to trust silence.

So as a precaution, even though she couldn't see anyone, Tonks pointed her wand towards the home at large and whispered, "Homenum revelio."
Nothing happened, and they both breathed quiet sighs of relief.
"Lumos." Tonks said, and as the added light of her wand bathed the room before them with soft light, she really saw the room for the first time.
Her stomach twisted with sickening mix of sadness and anger at the sight before her.
The entire place was destroyed. The Death Eaters had clearly made short work of the entire house. Everything was ravaged and broken, and Tonks sadly remembered back to when it had been a home. If not a rough and grisly one - not unlike its' owner.

She remembered coming here with Kingsley after his mysterious talk of Dumbledore and fighting for the truth. Mad-Eye had welcomed them in, and at Tonks's somewhat confused question, had explained everything and invited her to join the Order of the Phoenix. That night the three friends had sat at the table, drinking butterbeer and talking late into the night. Sadness swept through her as she looked at the table now, three of whose legs had been broken off, the top in jagged halves.

Lupin had an odd expression in his eyes as he looked at the table and chairs, broken on the far side of the room. Tonks walked further into the room, and looked around at the wrecked building her dead mentor had once called a home.
Vaguely Tonks noted that Mad-Eye's table looked rather like the one in her own kitchen at home, but she didn't pause to wonder at it.
"It looks like the Death Eaters have already been here." Tonks said hollowly.
"Yes, and made short work of the place too." Lupin said, his tone grave.
"Why would they...?" she whispered, sadness overcoming her rage for the time being.

It was a senseless question. A question she already knew the answer too. But being in this house was harder than she would have expected.
"Looking for information." he answered, his tone clipped, suppressing some anger of his own.
She simply nodded, not sure what to say.

Lupin carefully made his way to her side and looked down, surveying the mess before them. Suddenly he bent over and, moving aside a broken off chair leg, picked up a broken picture frame. Inside was a torn picture of Mad-Eye looking at the camera, that same gruff expression on his face. At his side in the picture stood Tonks, holding her Auror certification up proudly, a huge grin on her face. Tonks watched the picture numbly, remembering day as if it were yesterday; they watched as the mini-scene in the picture unfolded: Mad-Eye looked over at Tonks, smiling as much as Mad-Eye ever had, and she grinned back at him, her pink hair bright and vibrant, and threw her arms around him. The look on Mad-Eye's face was priceless.

Tonks couldn't help the little laugh that escaped her. But it came out strangled with a sob, and she realised there were tears on her face.
He was gone.
She'd never see her second father again - never get to tease him, and embarrass him with over-affectionate public displays.
Lupin's arm came about her shoulders and she leaned into him gratefully, taking deep breaths and looking away from the picture so she could get a hold on her emotions.
"Shhh," Lupin murmured gently into her hair.

She was able to do so fairly quickly this time, much to her relief. They didn't need to be distracted in a place like this.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"Anytime," he murmured.
She kissed his jaw before unwillingly pulling away.
"We'll have to go to the attic to find his will." she said, clearing her head and focusing on why they were here.
Lupin nodded, but motioned for her to wait a moment.

Raising his wand, he performed silent magic and nodded to himself. "Alarm," he said simply.
"Brilliant," she said. She knew she ought to have thought of it - it was the best way for them to be informed if anyone entered the wrecked building.
From there, Lupin followed her out of the front room and down the brief straight hallway to the room directly at the end, which served as Mad-Eye's bedroom. There was another small bedroom off to the left of this hallway, and Lupin quickly looked inside to reaffirm the fact that there wasn't anyone else in the house.

This room, too, was destroyed; surviving bits of the bed and other furniture strewn in messy ruin on the floor.
"Do you think they found anything?" Tonks asked Lupin, worried at the thought.
"There's no way to know for sure, but I doubt it. Mad-Eye was the most careful person I've ever known, and I'm certain he would have been prepared for event of a house-raid."
She nodded, sure Lupin was right.

Focusing her attention on the task at hand, she looked up past the wood-paneled walls and pointed her wand at the ceiling, whispering a spell of Mad-Eye's own invention that he had confided in her, and waited with baited breath.

Suddenly two blue streams of light etched along the ceiling at lightning speed. The rectangular-shaped path the spell had revealed glowed brilliant blue for a moment, growing brighter till she had to nearly close her eyes against it.
Tonks was relieved the spell had worked, and it seemed that the Death Eaters hadn't known about the attic. There was, of course, a concealment charm on the top story of the house to hide its' unusual addition.

When the light dimmed and Tonks was able to stop squinting, she saw that a doorway had been carved into the ceiling where she had performed her spell-work. The light faded, leaving the ceiling back to normal save for the attic stairway that had appeared. Tonks grabbed the handle and pulled down the steps, glancing at Lupin for the first time since they'd entered the bedroom.

He looked amazed. "That was..."
"Utterly brilliant?" Tonks finished with a little laugh "I know. The first time Mad-Eye showed it to me I was speechless. He is-" she stopped abruptly, and fixed her statement in a hollow voice, "was incredible - I was lucky to have him teach me." She said, thinking back to those simpler days when her biggest worries were passing her Auror exams.

"Ready?" she asked, nodding her head at the stairs.
"Whenever you are," he replied, looking every inch the curious student.
He must have been an excellent teacher,she thought to herself with a little smile.

He gestured for her to go head and so she climbed up the stairs, Lupin following close behind.
It was actually an entirely finished upstairs room, with flooring, proper walls, and all - though the rafters remained bare.

Tonks looked around the small space appreciatively; there were dozens of magical tools and detectors, devices and gadgets; an organised folder of Order documents that Tonks recognised as the very ones she and Lupin had taken from Grimmauld Place the night Dumbledore died, and given to Mad-Eye. There were a few wands, in a dusty case that looked as though it ought to have hung on the wall above a fireplace someplace. It had been a retirement gift from the Ministry - wands of a few of the most infamous witches, wizards and Death Eaters he'd helped capture from the first war.
There was also a finely carved wooden replica of Mad-Eye's Patronus, a cougar, resting on top of a dusty chest of drawers.

Tonks walked over and carefully picked up the carved creation, studying it with admiration.
"I wonder where he got this from?" she said, mostly to herself. It looked like the ones that were resting on her own mantelpiece at home. The eagle, the dove, and a little duck.
"Do you know where exactly he put it?" Lupin asked, drawing Tonks out of her sidetracked reverie.

He was looking through the papers in the Order files, and in the chest of drawers.
Tonks wondered if Mad-Eye would mind her taking this to remember him by.
A smile came to her as she envisioned his response, which would likely be something along the lines of, 'Well it's not doing me any good now is it?', and tucked it tenderly inside an inner pocket of her robes, to later be placed on the mantelpiece at her own home.
"Yes, but you won't find it in there." she said with a small smile.
"We ought to take some of these back with us, for the next leader to have."
"You're right," Tonks agreed.

Next, she turned and walked back to where the steps had begun, and thought back to the day when Mad-Eye had asked for her help with something important. Which had turned out to be making this attic safe-haven for things he never wanted falling into the wrong hands. Tonks remembered how she had privately thought how her beloved mentor was slightlyparanoid. Back then the second war had not even started. At that time, all it had been were whispered rumours of Voldemort stirring, a person here and there who mysteriously disappeared, isolated Muggle incidents, and Death Eaters on the move.

Her eyes flicked open as she remembered how to find the smallest hidden compartment and walked 11 paces toe to heel, running her hand along the paneled wall as she went, before stopping and turning to face the rich mahogany panels. There she bent and rested the point of her wand where the floor met the wall, and drew it straight up, muttering the spell as she went. Blue lines appeared once again, this time forming a square at chest height. The small square of light glowed blindingly and she closed her eyes as it shone out before dimming and leaving a small cupboard door.
She pulled on the old handle and opened it to reveal a compact drawer.

Inside was a worn, dusty-looking brown satchel, with the burnished inscription:
'The last will and testament of Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody.'
"Here it is," Tonks said quietly, still unable to quite believe that she was here, making use of the secret information he'd given her so long ago… that he was really gone.
She tucked it carefully inside her robes and closed the drawer and cupboard door.

Once closed, a blue light zipped quickly around the door, erasing it as it went. When the light faded, the doorway had gone, leaving nothing but blank wall in its place.
With a small sigh, she looked up at Lupin, who was still gazing at the now blank wall in fascination.
"Shall we go then?" she whispered.
He nodded, picking up the stack of papers and tapping them so that they shrunk to a more convenient travel-size.

They made their way out of the secret room and back down the stairs, into Mad-Eye's ruined home.
They watched silently as the blue light sealed off the doorway and once again hid it from view and all knowledge.
Both of them kept their wands at the ready as they made to exit the house.

When they reached the front room again, Tonks looked around once more, and then closed her eyes, remembering it how it was; with Mad-Eye sitting at the table, a goblet of a Butterbeer and a weathered glint in his eye.
That's how she'd remember this place.

Caught up in memories, Tonks did not see Lupin quickly slip the broken photograph into the inner pocket of his robes.
As much as Tonks knew they both would have liked to carefully restore Mad-Eye's home to its right state, she knew that doing so would leave evidence that they had been there. And now more than ever, the Order could not afford such an obvious move.
So it was with heavy hearts that Tonks and Lupin left the little house at the end of that inconspicuous street and, joining hands, Apparated back to the safety of the Burrow.


They landed just outside the Burrow gate, and both of them visibly relaxed now that they were back on familiar ground. They sent their Patronus's into the house and Molly came out and ushered them inside. The clock tolled three forty-five just as they walked in. They had only been gone a little over an hour - not bad, all things considered, Tonks thought absently. The rest of the Order would soon be arriving, and then they would begin.

As much as she - and all of them - knew that this must be done, it didn't make it any easier to replace Mad-Eye. As if such a thing were even possible.
All of them were shocked and grieved at the passing of the second strongest wizard on their side. After Dumbledore's death, Mad-Eye's wisdom and experience had been a rallying point for them to meet at; someone who really had the capability and knowledge to lead them.

Now, everything felt too vulnerable. Leadership fell naturally to either Kingsley or Lupin next, both of whom had survived the last war - though only Lupin had been part of the Order during the first war.
Neither Kingsley nor Lupin were eager to guide the Order through this difficult time, as neither felt they were ready for such a daunting task. But Tonks had faith in both her husband and her friend. She knew that either of them would be an excellent leader.
Though she was, naturally, biased towards Lupin just a little.
Well quite a bit really,she admitted to herself wryly.

Tonks was broken out of her thoughts by Molly, and she quickly returned herself to the present, "Did it go alright?" Molly asked casually, handing them each a cup of tea as Arthur, Bill, Fleur, Fred and George came into the kitchen where Molly had brought them.
"It went smoothly - Tonks knew exactly where to look for the will. But the Death Eaters have already been and gone." Lupin stated, voice acrimonious.
At these words, everyone in the room stiffened slightly.
"The inside of the place was blown apart. Hardly anything was left in one piece. I don't think they were even looking for much - there was too much useless damage for that. They just...wanted to destroy it." Tonks finished the vein her husband had started quietly.

Everyone was silent for a moment as they took in the couple's words.
Gazing around at her friends' faces, Tonks could see the mingled sadness and outrage for such an act of blatant disregard. It wasn't as if it was surprising - but that didn't make it hurt less, and it only caused the anger towards their enemies ever greater as more and more of their cruelty was revealed.
Tears burned her own eyes as, despite her best efforts to remember the house as it was - remember Mad-Eye as he'd been in life, all she could see was horrifying images of Mad-Eye falling into the black depths of the dark sky and hurtling towards the earth, unable to save himself.

She felt warm fingers grasp hers and squeeze and she looked up, startled out of her horrified trance to find Lupin gazing at her in concern.
She didn't try to smile, or speak; instead she simply squeezed his hand in return and kept it enfolded in hers. He was calm, as usual, but underneath his normal exterior, she felt his tension and his sadness as the meeting drew closer.
"Well, at least the place was left standing for long enough that you were able to get his will," Bill finally said quietly.

Everyone muttered agreement as Tonks placed the satchel bearing the will in the center of the Weasley's table, though they were all uncharacteristically silent. Normally plans, suspected enemy movements, or news would be discussed before and during a meeting. But now, exhausted and saddened as they were, no one could find it in them to think so rationally just then.
There was a time coming when they would go on with such things, but this particular meeting, this afternoon was not that time. Tomorrow would be that time, and they would face it with all the determination of their leaders and brave loved ones who had come before them. Tomorrow would be the day that they, too, would fight as they had, so they could make certain those they loved had not died in vain.
Today, though, they were honouring the passing of a great wizard, and a great man.

Just as these thoughts were circling Tonks's mind, a lynx Patronus floated through the door and Bill went out to let Kingsley in.
A moment later, Bill returned to the dining room with Kingsley where they and Molly, Arthur, Bill, Fred, George, and Fleur had gathered to await the meeting.
"Remus," Kingsley greeted, stepping over to shake his hand.
Tonks noticed the grim set of his features, a stark contrast to his normally steady, easy countenance.
"Wotcher Kingsley," Tonks greeted, hoping her voice wasn't as tired and sad as she felt.
"Hello Tonks," he greeted, nodding at her, and she noted with sadness that his eyes were worn and disheartened.
Kingsley then stepped over to greet the Weasley's.

During the next ten minutes the rest of the Order arrived in a steady stream, all quiet and solemn.
By the time the Weasley's unusual clock chimed out four o'clock, the table was filled with all the Weasleys (save for Ron, Charlie and Percy), Fleur, Kingsley, Hestia, Dedalus, Elphias, Minerva, the Lupins, and Hagrid.
Everyone was silent, and she knew she wasn't the only one wondering what they were going to do.

In a way, she still couldn't believe they were doing this; that Mad-Eye was gone. He wasn't going to be around to look through doors on raids to make sure there wasn't anyone inside. He wasn't going to be around for her to tease and embarrass even though she knew he had secretly - albeit grudgingly - loved every minute of it. He wouldn't be around to tell her - or any of them - what to do in these dark times.

Tonks was jerked out of her abstraction by Lupin's voice, "Dora?"
She looked up at him quickly, and noticed as she did so how quiet the room was and how everyone seemed to be looking at her.
Sheepishly, she realised that someone must have been trying to get her attention and she hadn't noticed.
"Sorry," she mumbled quickly, looking around apologetically and wondering who had been speaking to her.
"Would you do the honour of opening the will?" Kingsley directed his question at her.
"Yes," she answered, hoping her voice did not betray the emotions swirling around in her.

It all seemed so final, and she supposed that this will, rather than a funeral, would be their closure.
She once again picked up the satchel and undid the clasp.
Inside there were three pieces of parchment, rolled neatly.
Tonks drew out one of the thinner rolls of parchment that bore a seal.
In classically simple, neat-looking handwriting, her name was written. She stared at the roll of parchment, several emotions filling her, before shaking herself out of her surprised reverie and speaking somewhat collectedly - she hoped.
"This...um, this is to me." she managed, touched tears and sadness tangling together in an overwhelming web of emotions.

Kingsley nodded, and Tonks carefully slid the narrow roll into an inner pocket of her robes until a time came when she was alone and could read it in privacy.
As she reached again into the satchel, she gave herself an internal shake, taking control of the emotions she had a precarious hold on.
The next narrow roll of parchment had Lupin's name on it in the same hand. She handed it to him, and, looking surprised at this unforeseen gesture, accepted it and put into a pocket as she had done with hers.
And at last a thick roll of parchment was extricated and the leather satchel fell flat and empty.
Tonks broke the seal and handed the will to Kingsley.

Her friend and long-time comrade took it without comment, except for a quick nod, understanding that she would not be the best choice to read it just then.
Tonks took her seat next to Lupin, who rested a hand on her knee under the table in a comforting gesture. She caught his eyes with a grateful glance and steadied herself more surely this time.
Kingsley straightened the parchment before speaking in his deep, calm voice.
"'The last will and testament of Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody.'" Kingsley paused here, eyes darting down the parchment a moment.
To everyone's great surprise, he laughed once.
"Well we're not to be left without instructions. The will is sectioned off into three parts. Voting procedure - of Dumbledore's making, instructions, instructions, and more instructions, and a closing comment."
Tonks smiled even as a tear slipped down her face.
He was as dependable in death as he had always been in life, and they weren't to be left wondering what they should do - no, their next step was to be guided one last time by Mad-Eye Moody.

Kingsley began to read again, informing them all briefly on the voting process, which would take place directly.
It was a simple process, and in typical Mad-Eye fashion, was short and to the point.
When Kingsley had finished the brief explanation, he looked round the table, and after a moment Arthur spoke.
"Perhaps we should vote before continuing?" he suggested.

Everyone around the table murmured agreement, and so Arthur fetched a piece of parchment and a quill, and, as part of the custom Kingsley had read, Lupin wrote his vote, and then Kingsley took his turn, since they were the first in line to lead.
Tonks followed and nearly laughed aloud: both Lupin and Kingsley had voted for the other.
Tonks picked up the quill and looked up at Kingsley, who was talking with Lupin, and joked quietly, "Try not to take this vote too personally Kingsley," she teased.
Kingsley chuckled and Lupin laughed.

When she had written her husband's name in her casual, loopy script, she made her way back to her seat.
"Are you possibly allowing your relationship with me bias your vote?" Lupin asked with mock sternness.
"Of course not," she said, flashing them a mischievous grin.
Lupin and Kingsley both chuckled and Lupin shook his head at her, lips quirked up at the corners.

The rest of the Order voted, and, as they were awaiting the results - being calculated by Arthur and Bill, Ron and Hermione appeared in the doorway.
Molly looked up as they made as though to sit down, "What do you two think you're doing in here?" she demanded, hands on hips, suddenly looking very intimidating.
Ron, however, simply scowled, "After the last meeting you said we could join!" he shot back in protest.
"I said nothing of the sort Ronald Weasley! This meeting is a very serious matter, and I will not have you two in here for it. Next time, maybe."
"Maybe?" Ron asked in disbelief.
"You heard me," Said Molly, tone growing dangerous.
"We're getting ready to fight this war too, and if you don't bloody let us learn what's going on, how are we ever supposed to fi-"
"Ron!" Hermione hissed, giving him a pointed look.

Tonks looked on in interest at Hermione's scolding.
Ron stopped talking right away however, and Tonks could see that Molly was as surprised as she was.
"We're finished mum," Bill announced.
Molly's eyes snapped back to Ron and Hermione, "Both of you, out!" she ordered.
They complied: Ron, expression downturned, and Hermione's face pink, apologetic, and slightly embarrassed.

Tonks waved at them sympathetically, pondering what Ron had started to say. And again, she wondered what exactly this task was that Dumbledore had left for Harry that he, Ron, and Hermione felt bound to complete and protect in secrecy. She wished they would tell someone in the Order so that they could help them somehow. It made her stomach turn over to think of the three of them in danger with no help at the ready should they need it.
A glance at Lupin confirmed his thoughts were on a similar path as hers. His expression was absent and troubled.
She subtly took his hand and he seemed to come out of his thoughts, glancing at her with a small smile and squeezing her hand.

When Arthur, Bill, and Molly had taken their seats and handed Kingsley the parchment, the murmur of conversation lulled. Kingsley looked at the parchment for a moment, a bit of a smile coming to his face as he did so.
He stood up, "We've taken a vote, and everyone voted unanimously - with the exception of this person himself...for Remus."

Tonks, who was holding Lupin's hand under the table, felt him freeze, and she squeezed his hand tightly in her own. Suppressing the urge to grin proudly, she turned to look at her husband, who looked, for lack of better description, utterly dumbfounded.
His eyes belied how deeply he appreciated their confidence.

Everyone waited with smiles and baited breath to see what Lupin would say.
After a few moments of gazing around at the people seated at the table, his eyes finally found hers, and when they did he smiled. A smile that reached his blue eyes and made them light up; she could see the myriad of joy and gratitude and love and so much more that could not even be described. Only his eyes betrayed the emotion though - as was his habit, he kept his emotions in check and rational around others, only ever allowing her to truly see him.
Because he was so polite and reserved with his feelings around everyone, she felt doubly fortunate to get to really know this man...and to call him hers.

At last he turned and addressed the table at large. "I…I want to thank you all. Words cannot express how honoured I am by this, and how very much I truly appreciate your confidence in me." Lupin paused, a little smile on his lips as he let his gratitude sink in before continuing.
"However, I don't think it would be in the best interest of the Order to have me as it's' leader."

Bill, Arthur, Molly, Kingsley, Tonks, Fred, George, and even Fleur all began to protest, but Lupin cut them off with a hand held up and a small smile.
"I say this because I would not always be available. If an emergency should arise on the night of a full moon, I would obviously be otherwise engaged." he said with a wry smile.
Dedalus and Hestia chuckled and Lupin looked gratefully at them for the lightening the tense, serious mood at the table.
"Remus-" Tonks started, wanting to protest because he was being a noble git again.

He turned to her, and his eyes were happy despite the position he'd just turned down. "Dora," he spoke softly, and she knew his words were only for her, "it's alright." he said, taking both her hands under the table and holding them tightly.
He still looked so happy, and Tonks suddenly wanted to kiss him, because she was just so glad to see him happy, but she held herself in check.
Lupin turned back to the Order, "You can't deny that I am right in this occurrence. But all the same I am very...moved that you all would consider me to lead the Order, and moreover that you all respect me enough to request this. If things were a bit different, I would have been honoured." he finished, his tone level and humble, if not a bit rueful.

He was as composed and controlled as ever, but his blue eyes, which she had come to know so well, expressed what he was feeling inside...and she saw joy.
She had always supposed that, due to the fact that he was unable to control himself in so severe a way one night a month due to his lycanthropy, he controlled everything else about himself very carefully.
It was an interesting theory - and it seemed true to an extent, but his openness with her when it was just the two of them put holes in it.

The people at the table, instead of looking annoyed or angry, looked as though they only respected him that much more.
As much as Tonks really hated to admit it, Lupin's point was a valid one.
So she simply squeezed his hands and rested her head on his shoulder as the meeting continued.

Another vote was called for, and everyone looked to Lupin to vote first. He voted for Kingsley, and, as though by some show of respect for their would-have-been leader, every single member voted for Kingsley Shacklebolt.
Kingsley looked surprised, but his ever-present calm belied little.
"Will you accept?" Lupin asked Kingsley.
Kingsley nodded solemnly. "I wish we weren't being forced to choose a new leader. But since we have to, I would be honoured to accept." Kingsley said.
Tonks smiled. Kingsley would make a good leader - though Tonks privately thought Lupin would have been better, she thought was very likely to be partial.
Everyone clapped in a respectful way as Kingsley read the oath of loyalty and was officially declared leader.
After the noise had died down, Kingsley picked up the will again and began to read.

'This is being read so I reckon I've passed on.
So here I'm leaving you all with detailed instructions, some of which Albus gave me shortly before his death.
First, to the new head of the Order:
Remember that your duty is gather information, prepare plans to weaken the ememy, and to give the final OK on plans of action, and at this point in the war, to make the decisions that will keep everyone safe as well as fighting.
Stand together and trust no one.
Albus said this was only the beginning, and he was right. It's not going to get any easier - and things won't get better unless you all fight for it with everything you've got.
But don't take thoughtless risks.
Plan carefully before knowingly entering a danger zone, and treat each mission like a war zone. Plan for everything that could go wrong.
Next, to those of you within the Ministry: (Nymphadora, Kingsley, and Arthur)
Remember, the Death Eaters will be watching you most of all because of your public activity within the Ministry. If they get suspicious to the point of questioning it won't be long before they'll set a tail on you, if they haven't already.
Once they do that it will only be a short time before they will take extensive action against you. The tails are usually also talented duellists.
Do not take this threat lightly.
They can kill you and make it look like an accident. It is IMPERATIVE that you get out of the Ministry BEFORE the Death Eaters tailing you learn your routine and most importantly, your location. Once they do the only choice left will be to go into hiding. And hiding can only last so long before your luck runs out. Frank and Alice Longbottom's constant vigilance was the only thing that allowed them to escape the Ministry itself before it was too late. If Bellatrix had not cornered them, I believe they would have survived. Do not make the same mistakes as James and Lily, God rest their souls. It was no fault of theirs, but listen to your instincts when it comes to people.
Trust no one in this dark hour.
Never let your guard down.
If they do trail you, throw them off your tail and get out as soon as it's safe to try. Know, though, that they will try to find you when you go, but it's safer than you being under their noses every day at work. Don't hesitate and stay longer to think of the Order. At this point in the war, there is very little other than information that can be gathered from the Ministry. But none of it is as important as your lives. Believe me when I tell you that other information elsewhere can be gathered that is much more valuable.
Remus, you need to be careful too - they know who you are, and Greyback's memory is long. Be vigilant.
For everyone:
The Ministry is not likely to stand for long under the hands of our current Minister. He has unwittingly appointed too many of Voldemort's spies to positions of great power. Albus himself said that it will fall, so when it does, be ready to go into hiding, and protect those you can.
When on raids to warn witches and wizards about Ministry tails, and other risky or more public information gathering, use unfamiliar faces, or Polyjuice. If you speak to people who are not on our side about anything confidential, do not hesitate to modify their memory. I didn't say wipe it - but modify. That charm's your new best friend. Use it, but use it well and with discretion.
Nymphadora, Arthur, and Kingsley will be too easy for anyone to recognise. So if it's going to be them you send out as spies, disguise yourselves well.
Remus may be recognised from that bloody Prophet article, so be cautious.
Kingsley, you should go on and pass the duty of guarding the Muggle prime minister on to someone you trust within the Ministry in case you are discovered. Then at least the Muggle government will be safe for now.
In order to survive this, you're all going to have to make hard choices. Bad choices may cost your life, but so may bad luck. No matter what happens, don't give up - help Potter any way you can. He's our best hope, trust him - he came through when things were bad last time, let's hope he can this time. Follow your gut and constant vigilance!
Thanks to all of you for the sacrifices you have made and determination and loyalty. You're all hard workers and I'm proud to have stood alongside you.
Be safe, be ready, and be vigilant.
- Mad-Eye'

Kingsley finished, and the silence in the room sounded loud and strange. Tonks sat, not crying, but not dry-eyed either. Not a word about Mad-Eye himself in the will. Just instructions, warnings, and wisdom. Wisdom which they so desperately needed and now more than ever. The enormity of what they were facing made her feel like there was a lead weight sitting on her chest. And it was slowly crushing them all.
A couple of people spoke around the table quietly about different aspects of the will.

After a moment, Kingsley spoke, "I would like to propose a moment of silence for Mad-Eye Moody, one of the best men and toughest wizards the world ever saw. He will be much missed, and forever remembered."
Tears filled Tonks's eyes again at Kingsley's beautiful words.
No one at the table spoke for a solid five minutes. Fleur, Molly, and Tonks all had tears streaming down their faces, and each were holding the hands of their husbands (well, in Fleur's case, husband-to-be), who were equally as grieved.

Tonks looked up at Lupin to see that, while he was dry eyed, his eyes were sorrowful and she saw the depth of the grief he wouldn't show. She held his hands tighter, and he rubbed the back of her palms gently.
Kingsley broke the silence deferentially by adjourning the meeting, and announcing there would be another a week from that day unless an emergency arose.
And so everyone quietly left Headquarters, solemn and sad. It felt so starkly real now that the Order had moved on. Soon they would have to do the same.

Tonks knew the Order would make it regardless, because they had things worth fighting for. But it would be a lie if she pretended not to feel lost in the middle of this great war, and all the pain, suffering, death, and loss surrounding them at every turn. And now that one of the people she'd been sure would never fall to the evil pervading their world had been cruelly snatched from them, she didn't know what to do.
If not for Lupin, she wasn't sure how long she would have been able to stand before crumbling under the enormity of the pressure they were all under.

Tonks and Lupin thanked the Weasley's, said goodbye to Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and everyone else before Disapparating home. Inside, Tonks cried again, quiet, slow, tears.
Lupin held her, not speaking, but simply stroking her hair.
It scared her a bit that she was so emotional now...she was used to being strong.
"It isn't that you aren't strong now. On the contrary, you're the strongest person I know. You just lost your second father yesterday. But time will help the hurt, I promise." he said quietly.
Tonks, who hadn't even realised she'd spoken aloud, pulled back a bit to look into his eyes.

As cliche as it seemed, she felt in that moment as if she could see his soul through those lovely blue eyes, a window to his soul even when he said not a word.
She didn't know what to say to express how much his words meant to her. But looking into his eyes right then, she realised that he knew.
"Thank you," she whispered, resting her forehead on his and closing her finally dry eyes gratefully.
Eyes still closed, she felt his fingers cup her cheeks and wipe away the lingering tears so gently.
She left her eyes closed, concentrating on the comforting warmth of his hands and the odd, if not melancholy, peace that had settled over her.
He pulled away and kissed her temple before tucking her tenderly into his arms, and she nestled into his chest gladly.

After a time Tonks picked her head up from Lupin's chest, and reached up to stroke his cheek.
He gave her a sad smile, putting one of his hands over hers on his face, gently drawing it away and to his lips.
"Are you alright?" he asked softly.
She nodded, "Yes, thanks to you."

She felt Lupin move one of his hands from around her and watched as it reached into his pocket as though searching for something.
When she saw what he pulled out, fresh tears filled her eyes.
He had taken the photograph from Mad-Eye's house that they had found, and he had repaired the tear in the photo and the broken frame.
"I thought this was something you ought to keep. I think Mad-Eye would have wanted you to have it." Lupin said gently.

Sitting up a bit straighter, she took the photo of Mad-Eye and her that they had found broken on the floor. The same scene of her grinning mischeviously at Mad-Eye before throwing her arms around him presented itself on an endless repeat before her tear-filled eyes.
She wrapped her arms back around Lupin, attempting poorly to fight the tear that escaped. "Thank you so much Remus, thank you," she whispered around the lump in her throat.

His lips touched her hair and he embraced her tightly, "I love you,"
"I love you back," she whispered, feeling the enormity of the love she knew for him crash down on her.
She closed her eyes and felt him breath, felt the warmth of his arms around her, and the beauty and sheer joy of his words in her soul.
Sometimes she wondered how long they would have together...if they would ever have the chance to grow old together, or if this war would end all hopes of any future for them.
The thought was unbearable.
And yet in these dark days, with their positions in the war as warriors, their chances were not good, and it was something they'd both had to consider and accept. They both had been forced to acknowledge the dangers and the fact that the likelihood of one or even both of them surviving was low. And though they had been to that hard place and often revisited it in the recesses of their minds, they lived not on statistics, but on hope.
Because that was all they has left.
On days like these, though, hope was hard to remember.

Mentally shaking herself from her morose thoughts, she suddenly remembered what she'd placed in her pocket just before leaving Mad-Eye's.
She sat up, and tucked her hand into her pocket, almost afraid she'd lost it until her hand encountered the smooth, cool wood.
"Dora?" Lupin asked, bemused.
"I forgot...I - well, I found this at Mad-Eye's. It's his Patronus..." she trailed off as she untangled with care the small figure from the fabric of her inner pocket.
"I understand," Lupin said quietly, glancing at the mantelpiece.
Tonks pulled it out and ran a finger over the head of the tough looking cougar.

Beside her, Lupin stated down at the figurine in blank surprise.
"What is it Remus?"
"I just...haven't seen that for a long time - I'm surprised he kept it." he mumbled to himself.
"What?" Tonks asked in confusion, not understanding his comment at all.
"I... gave that to Mad-Eye a long time ago."
"It's beautiful," she said quietly, studying it a moment more before touching it with her wand and sending it to the mantelpiece to rest alongside the eagle, dove, and duck.

They all were crafted with the same detailed care…though the duck was less gracefully made, and Tonks turned to Lupin curiously, "Did you get those three in the same place?"
"Yes," Lupin nodded with a smile.
"What?" she asked, smiling a little. Her lips felt stiff from not smiling; it was good to see him smile.
"If I told you...well, it would ruin something I was rather hoping to keep a surprise."
"Till when?" She asked, curiosity getting the better of her.
"Christmas," he answered simply.

She gaped at him in jest, "That's a long time to keep me wondering." she protested.
He chuckled, "Well it'll be even more fun when I finally show it to you then."
She sat back in a huff, before laughing and shaking her head. "Fine," she conceded with a smile.
"Thank you," he replied.

Settling back down next to him, she rested her head on his chest contentedly. She felt his lips touch her hair a couple of times before he settled, placing his cheek atop her head.

They lapsed back into their comfortable silence for a little while before Tonks thought of a question she'd wanted to ask him.
"Remus?" she asked, looking up at him thoughtfully.
"Yes sweetheart?"
"Why didn't you become leader for the Order? I respect your decision, but I just wondered..."
"The same reason I told everyone…I'm not reliable enough. They need someone who can be on call every day, every night. I can't do that."

"I'm sorry-" she started to say.
"Dora," he interrupted, placing a finger over her lips and gazing into her eyes with a tender expression. "It's okay. I'm not upset about it. On the contrary, their offer made me very happy because I realised again how lucky I am to have people around me that value and respect me despite my condition. I don't deserve it." he murmured.
"Yes you most certainly do so." she argued softly.
"We'll call it an impasse then. And besides, I'm going to have my hands full trying to stay in the good graces of my pregnant wife. I hear women can get very…tetchy during pregnancy." he said, a teasing glint in his eyes.
"Git," she muttered, "you have a permanent residence in my good graces." she said,
"We'll see," he said with a chuckle.

She opened her mouth to respond, but before she could he silenced her with his lips, sweet and teasing.
She responded to him, and completely forgot what she had been about to say... but she didn't care.
When they broke apart, Tonks snuggled more deeply into his embrace.
"I love you," she murmured.
"As I love you," he replied softly.
After such an emotionally taxing day, and everything that had happened only the night before with moving Harry, they both of them were exhausted, and soon fell asleep right there on the sofa, still in each other's arms.


The clock chiming three a.m. woke Tonks from sleep.
The lights still on left her squinting as she looked around groggily and took in her surroundings. She realised they had fallen asleep on the sofa. Lupin was lying on his back, his head resting on the arm of the sofa, and Tonks was stretched up beside him, her cheek resting on his belly, his legs stretched out beside her on the very edge of the sofa; his hand resting on her hair.
A soft, fuzzy brown blanket covered them both, and she realised that was why she was so cosy and warm.

Lupin still slept soundly, fringe half-over his eyes, mouth slightly open, and peaceful.
She loved to see him peaceful and vulnerable like this - it was a rare gift he showed only to her.
Suddenly realising why she felt so different, she looked down at herself and started: she was in her natural form.
Odd. Changing usually required effort - once she had a morph, she could normally hold it quite easily, even in sleep. It was changing it that was a deliberate thing, and something that normally required a bit of concentration.

A smile came to her as she thought of how Lupin had always loved her natural form...even though she didn't understand why. In her natural state she wasn't as sporty looking as she morphed herself to look. Her natural shape was a touch curvier, more gently formed; her hair was a light brown, short with gentle waves, grey eyes, a couple inches shorter, and pale. Her usual morph only altered small things...toned down her curves, a couple inches added to her height, changed eye-colour for a bit of fun, and of course, hair variations depending on her mood.

Shaking her head to clear it, she sighed, not really wanting to move, but feeling an ache in her neck that would surely annoy her later if she allowed herself to drift back off.
A yawn interrupted her train of thought and replaced it with a new one. She carefully sat up, mindful not to wake her sleeping husband just yet. For she had just remembered something she needed to do first.
The letter from Mad-Eye was still in her pocket.
Carefully, she got off the sofa and stretched her sleep-stiff body. Taking a moment, she also readjusted her morph back to her preferred height and blue cropped hair.
At last, she took a deep breath and took the letter out of her pocket, broke the seal, unrolled it, and read...

Nymphadora,
My part of this is over.
But yours isn't. I know you're strong, and so is Remus. Help the others, and above all help Harry any way you can.
You will need to be extremely vigilant in the Ministry. Being in your condition will compromise you after time. Don't attempt to stay in the Ministry when they begin to question you. Think of the safety of your child and of Remus and do not be foolish. There are other ways for information to be had, so don't take avoidable risks.
If I had my way, I would have left my house to you - it isn't much, but it's something I would have liked to do for you. But I don't reckon the Death Eaters let it stand past my death, so do not attempt to go back there.
Lastly...
Generally I don't approve of compromising vigilance by showing too much emotion. But since you won't be seeing me again if you're reading this I'd like to tell you that I thought of you as a daughter, and I love you.
I'm proud of you, and of the woman you are.
Be safe lass.
Your mentor,
Mad-Eye

Even after she had read the letter over three times, she didn't move. She simply stood staring at the parchment in her hands, unaware of the silent tears streaming down her face as she ached for one last chance to talk to him...to thank him.

Numbly, and somewhat in a daze - partially from just waking and partly from the emotions the letter had caused, she sat back down on the sofa. No sooner than she had sat down, she started and jumped up again - she'd sat on Lupin's feet.
His eyes fluttered sleepily for a moment before seeming to take in anything. When his half-open eyes landed on her, he sat up slowly and ran a hand through his greying hair with a sleepy sigh.
"Dora..." he murmured wearily, looking at a loss.

Without speaking, she handed him the letter to read.
He took it and read it. When he was through, he took a long breath and slowly let it out before putting an arm Tonks in silent support; she rested her head on his shoulder gratefully.
"Have you read yours?" she asked quietly after a few moments of silence.

Wordlessly, Lupin shook his head and one of his hands disappeared into his robes and resurfaced a moment later holding his own letter.
As Lupin opened it, she sat up so as to read it too...

Remus,
I'm glad to see that you made it.
After seeing you lose so much in the first war, I'm glad to see you finally happy.
Don't ruin it with your senseless fears. I'm glad to see Nymphadora settled with a good man like you. You will both need each other to get through this war. Just don't distract each other too much.
But also remember: if you're obvious in public, and then you're captured, you two will be used against each other, so be vigilant.
If I had my way the house would go to you two. A little bigger - better place to start a family (you picked a hell of a time for that). But I doubt the Death Eaters allowed it stand long enough for the two of you to take it. And it wouldn't be safe seeing as how they likely know where it's at too.
Since I had to face and fight in two wars, I'm glad to have done so alongside you Remus.
Take care of your family and be vigilant.
- Mad-Eye

Tonks looked up with bleary eyes at her husband to see that his eyes were damp with unshed tears.
He tried to collect himself, but Tonks only took his hand in hers and kissed it gently, "It's okay Remus," she lied.
Everything wasn't okay...none of this should be happening.
He gently took her letter out of her hands, and then kissed her forehead before rising and looking around the room before walking into their bedroom.
Tonks, bewildered and exhausted, slowly followed.

Lupin was sealing and concealing a small drawer in the upper right hand corner of their wardrobe so that it was hidden from sight when she arrived in their room.
"What's that for?"
"Precaution," he answered, "You and I both know how to break these seals, but in case our location is ever in danger or found and searched...well, they still won't have evidence that we're connected to the Order. We need to put anything here that we would want to leave for our child, just in case..." he trailed off and placed their letters inside before turning to face her.

He must have seen the aching fear in her eyes, for his softened and he walked over to where she stood in the doorway and took her face in his hands, his eyes wracked with a pain that made her ache.
"Dora," he said quietly, "we have to prepare for the...likely possibility that we may not both make it through this." He paused to brush away a tear that had leaked from the corner of her eye.
"And we likewise must prepare and plan ahead for the possibility that neither of us makes it through this...we have to do what we can to leave him or her with what they need, and someone to look after them." Lupin said all this quietly, sombrely, and she could tell this had been on his mind for some time.

The weight of his words hit her like a punch in the stomach, and one of her hands automatically fell to her cover her abdomen.
"I...I know," she whispered, feeling helpless and scared in a way she never had before.

The thought of leaving their baby alone in this world, especially the way it was now, was terrifying. She didn't want him to have to grow up in fear and oppression and war, as they had done.
She wanted better for her son than that.
He or she deserve to be able to grow up and be a child, and not be touched so early in life by death.

"This has been on your mind for a while, hasn't it?" she asked softly, her free hand reaching up to cover his cradling her face.
He nodded, and she could nearly see him think for a moment before he spoke. "After seeing so many families ripped apart and destroyed during the first war, and knowing Harry's family and past like I do...it was one of the first things that crossed my mind that afternoon when you told me about our baby."

Compassion filled her at the haunted expression in his eyes, and she moved forward and wrapped her arms around him.
He had seen so many awful things - so much senseless, cruel death.
Her soul ached because she could not take it away.
But that was the way of death and darkness and war...once you were touched by it, you were never the same. It could not be undone. Nor could it be forgotten. But neither should it be forgotten, for then people like Lily, James, Sirius, Alice, Frank, Mad-Eye, and Albus would fade away rather than remembered for their courage.

She and Lupin parted briefly and changed out of their robes into pyjamas.
As she did, Tonks's mind wandered back to James and Lily and Harry, and their courage even in the face of devastating loss.
And she suddenly knew that the price they would all have to pay would be worth it if only they could free their world and its people forever from this darkness. If they could achieve that...if they died fighting for that. Then it was not for nothing.
She turned to look at Lupin only to find him right behind her.

Taking his hands in hers, she told him what was on her heart.
"Remus...we-we both might die...but if we do, I want to die fighting to make this world a better place for our son to grow up." she stated, voice fixed, unwavering, despite the tumultuous emotions she felt in her heart.
Lupin met her eyes with a sad kind of love. "Son?"
"I've got just got a funny feeling about it." She said with a sad smile.

His eyes glistened with a shimmer of moisture, though he smiled softly in return; a look of sad joy, if there could be such a thing, shown from his face, and her heart understood what words could not explain.
She blinked rapidly to quell the new emotion that arose within her at the look of admiration and resolution that had settled in his eyes as she spoke.
"You are the most incredible woman I have ever known," he murmured, drawing her into his arms once again.

A soft sigh left her, and she closed her eyes as she felt his lips touch her temple and linger there, kissing a sweet path to her forehead and down her nose to her mouth.
His lips were gentle and slow, and she forcibly emptied her mind of everything except the sweetness of his kiss...an outward expression of their profound love.
Most of all, she tried not to think about how brief this all could be.

Just as these thoughts were making some headway, she was pulled smoothly off of her feet and into the air.
Surprised, her thoughts scattered like a wisp of smoke in a strong wind.
"Remus, what are you doing?" she asked, trying to sound cross.
Lupin called her bluff - not difficult to do considering the smile in her voice.
"Making the best of the time we have," he said with a soft smile and a playful peck on the tip of her nose.

She grinned and allowed him to tuck her in before rolling onto her side to face him as he climbed under the covers next to her.
They reached for each other, and fell back to sleep in the sanctuary of each other's arms.
But Tonks did not sleep well...she was plagued by dreams of Lupin's troubled eyes and nightmares of his past departures.


Despite Lupin's reassurances the morning before when Tonks had tearfully begged him not to leave, over the next few days he was especially quiet and reserved. Not unkind, but very quiet and preoccupied; when Tonks tried to talk to him about it, he just said he wasn't feeling well after the difficulty of the last full moon and the next one coming near.
For some reason she didn't believe him; had the feeling that he wasn't being entirely honest with her. But he wouldn't tell her what was bothering him, though she was afraid she could guess.

She was trying not to think too much about Mad-Eye, but sometimes she still couldn't help her tears. And on those occasions Lupin's somewhat distant manner vanished, and he held and comforted her.
He was still kind and thoughtful, but there was just something wrong…off.

It was making her uneasy, but she did her best to just try and take him at his word, hoping he would come out of it soon.
He seemed especially troubled the morning a knock sounded at their door.
His out of focus gaze on the Daily Prophetbroke and his eyes snapped to the door; his removed demeanor disappeared in an instant and he looked at her, alarm dawning in his eyes for a brief moment before he collected himself.

Tonks's mind was brought back the memory of the Order's new knowledge. Knowledge that there had been a mass-breakout from Azkaban that the Ministry had hushed up. A shiver of fear shot through her at the thought of who could be at their door.
Lupin drew his wand and stepped in front of her protectively as the knock sounded again.
As glad as she was to see his cool mood go, she was slightly miffed that he felt she needed protecting. She drew her wand also, stepping up beside him and looking him in the eye.
He seemed to accept her silent statement of 'I'm in for the fight.'
A fond, but strangely sad expression came into his eyes and his lips quirked up a bit at the corners.

She smiled at him before stepping quietly towards the door, Lupin walking beside her.
"Who's there?" He asked evenly when they reached the door.
"It's me, Molly Prewett Weasley. Wife of Arthur Weasley, who constantly meddles with the Muggle gadgets, and currently is tinkering with Sirius's motorbike behind my back –trying to fix it for Hagrid - and hiding it in the shed."
Tonks grimaced for Arthur's sake, though couldn't help but laugh at Molly's excellent observation.

Lupin's face relaxed and he opened the door.
"Wotcher Molly," Tonks greeted.
"Hello Tonks, Remus," she said with a smile as she came inside.
"Would you like something to drink Molly?" Tonks asked, trying her best to repay at least a small portion of the hospitality she'd always received at the Weasleys.
"Thank you dear," Molly said, smiling, "I wish I could, but I know Arthur will be worrying. I'm just on my way back from the grocer's shop, but I wanted to drop in to invite you both to Harry's birthday party tomorrow night. I wasn't sure if either of you would be by Headquarters today - and I couldn't risk sending an owl - least of all Pigwidgeon." She said rolling her eyes and reminding Tonks very strongly of Ginny as she did so.

Lupin chuckled and Tonks's heart softened at the sound and she smiled again.
"Of course we'd love to come." Lupin said.
"Thanks for inviting us Molly!" Tonks said enthusiastically, her heart lifting at the idea of a celebration.
"Of course, I know Harry wants you both to be there." Molly said, looking pleased.
"How is he doing?" Lupin asked, looking concerned.
"He's alright. Though I can't get Ron, Hermione or him to tell me where they're going yet." Molly sighed.

Tonks knew that Lupin and Arthur, had both already asked also, but Ron, Hermione, and Harry seemed to feel bound in secrecy.
It was best not to meddle if that was Dumbledore's wishes, she supposed.
Lupin and Arthur both seemed to accept that as well, but Molly could not.
Tonks could understand Molly's worry, but knew it was rather pointless to pester them about it.

"Maybe they'll come around, but if they don't, we'll have to respect Dumbledore's wishes, and hope that he knew what he was doing." Tonks said.
Molly sighed, nodding.
"Don't worry, Molly. Albus was no fool. If he asked them to keep it among themselves there must have been a reason, but he knew them well, and he knew what they could handle." Lupin said gently, resting a hand on her shoulder momentarily in kind comfort.
His eyes took on a faraway look as he spoke and Tonks could practically see him remembering.
Molly nodded, looking absent as well.

After a moment of silence Tonks spoke, trying to use a light tone in hopes of cheering up Molly and her husband. And she as well, for thinking of Dumbledore also made her think of Mad-Eye, and she found that despite the time that had passed, she still could hardly believe they were gone.
"What time should we come Molly?" Tonks asked, thinking that a change of subject was probably in order.
"Around five I think. And Fred and George will meet you at the end of the lane, for safety's sake, you know." She said.
"Alright, we'll be there." Tonks said with a smile.
"Good, thank you both." She said, looking rather more cheerful.
"Anytime. Thanks Molly." Lupin said as Molly turned back to the door.
"See you tomorrow then," She said, bidding them farewell.
"Bye Molly," Tonks and Lupin said in unison, making Tonks grin like a kid.

They heard the faint pop of Molly Disapparating and went back to cleaning up lunch.
"Brilliant that Molly's doing that for Harry don't you think? Nice he gets to do something normal in spite of everything." She said.
"It is. Harry could use some normalcy after everything he's been through." Lupin said sadly, and Tonks knew he was thinking of James and Lily and Sirius.
"At least he doesn't have to be alone anymore and stuck with his aunt and uncle outside the wizarding world. He's got all of us." She said, reminding him indirectly that Harry still had a family. Even if they weren't blood family, they all loved him.
Lupin nodded absently.
"I can't believe Harry's seventeen. I remember the day he was born. It makes me feel like…an old man." Lupin admitted.

Tonks laughed a little and Lupin looked at her in surprise.
"What?" He asked.
"You're far from old Remus." She said conclusively.
"And you would know this how?" He asked conversationally.
"Trust me, I know." She said casually, glancing up at him with eyebrows raised suggestively and a playful wink.

Lupin rolled his eyes and chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "You are…"
But she didn't allow him to finish, darting forward for a brief, playful kiss.
"Thank you," she murmured when they parted.

From there Tonks smiled and went back to clearing breakfast.
Lupin picked up the Prophet again, but his eyes remained fixed on a point just above the paper, and she sighed, sent a final spell at the dishes, and walked over to the table.
"What's the article about Remus?" she asked casually, waiting to see if her observation was correct.
His eyes darted to the top of the page before he opened his mouth to answer.

"What's wrong?" She asked, gently pulled the paper from his hands and setting it aside so he could no longer hide his eyes.
There she saw the troubled look he'd been hiding behind his newspaper today.
He looked into her eyes sadly for a moment before speaking, putting his hand over hers
on his face.

"I'm just worried about you,"
"About me? Why?" She asked, mystified.
"The baby...I've already ruined his life, and he doesn't even know me yet. He'll hate me. And so will you because of what I did to our child. I've been so selfish." He said, distressed, anxious.

"Remus! Merlin, haven't you learned anything from being married to me?! Don't you know me better than that? I would never - could never hate you! The only thing I hate is how you will not let this go! When will you see that I'm HAPPY?!" she exclaimed, anger getting the better of her for a moment. "I'm happy with you and I'm happier than I can even tell you about our baby! I've never been happier…even despite everything that's happened." She said the last bit quietly, wavering unsteadily as her anger left her, and she felt small and lost again. Quickly, she looked down so he wouldn't see the pain that had hit her like a slap in the face at the thought of Mad-Eye.

But he had seen it.
"Dora, come here." He said gently, opening his arms.
For a moment she sat still, childishly considering being stubborn and staying right where she was because she was mad at him for his unwillingness to let her in.

But when she looked up and saw the sadness and love in his eyes, she went to him and curled up in his lap, tears filling her eyes.
A small sob escaped her and his arms came about her, holding her close.
"Dora, I'm sorry." He said quietly.
For a few minutes he just held her, letting her cry into his shirt. After a minute he spoke again, tone muted.
"I know you're happy. I just...I hate what I've done to you."

She looked up into his eyes, a fierce expression in her eyes despite her lingering tears.
"The only thing you've 'done to me' is make me happy!" She said, voice low and fervent.
Her tears forced her to pause and it was a moment before she could speak.
"Do you really hate that so much?" She whispered sadly around the lump in her throat.
"No. No I don't. I'm glad that somehow I make you happy - I've never been happier in all my life than I've been with you these last months. I just feel so...guilty." He said quietly.

She hugged him closer and another small sob escaped her.
Opening her mouth to speak, she found that her voice had failed her and nothing would come out.
"Shhh," He whispered, kissing her hair. "I know," he stroked her hair and held her while she cried.
She felt so ashamed that she couldn't control herself any better than this. But she was so scared of what Lupin's moods meant and she missed Mad-Eye so much.
He would know what to do. She wished she could just talk to him. Even just see him one more time. So she could tell him how much he'd meant to her. Tell him thank you. Tell him goodbye...

After a little while, Tonks's tears had finally ebbed, but Lupin was still holding her. He seemed to need the comfort as much as she did. That was what war did to you; made you so worried and helpless that the smallest ray of sunshine or piece of hope was grasped like a lifeline and held onto like a last breath of air.

The Ministry was spinning out of the control of the Minister, and Tonks hated watching, seeing what was happening and being unable to do anything about it.
She looked up at Lupin, wondering what he was thinking about.

His eyes were far away and they had a sad expression about them, though they were certainly more peaceful now.
But a thought that she had been pondering lately came to mind suddenly, she she spoke hesitantly.
"I'm...I'm sorry Remus."
"What on earth for?" he asked, looking bewildered at her sudden apology.
"For being so...weak and upse-"
"Dora." he interrupted, pulling back to face her, his tone surprisingly firm and emphatic. "Just because you are pained by what you have seen, and are afraid of what may happen...this does not make you weak. I've known a truly weak person...a man who betrayed his friends just to ensure his own safety. He was a coward, and yes, he was weak. But you," he placed his hands on either side of her face and brushed her cheekbones with his thumbs so gently, "are not weak. I've never known anyone stronger than you. Or braver."
"Remus-" she started to contradict him.

He placed a finger on her lips and continued. "Being brave doesn't require you not to be afraid - it simply means that you act despite the fears. You fight despite the risks. That is true bravery."
A tear trailed down her cheek as she gazed into his eyes, filled with conviction, admiration, and love.
She wrapped her arms around him and he returned the gesture, holding her close.
"I love you, Remus." she whispered.
"I love you back." he murmured into her hair.

She closed her eyes and let the warm feel of his arms and the comforting, familiar scent of him drive away any fear...she basked in this moment, trying not to wonder how long they would have for such moments.
But she decided to simply appreciate it, and live for now...in case it was all they had.
And so she rested her head back on his chest, eyes finally dry, her pain lessened greatly by his warm hold and feeling his breath on her hair. He was rubbing her back gently, in random patterns and she sighed, relaxing against him, he smiled slightly, and they stayed that way, neither of moving for a very long time.


Thank you for reading!:D
Here are a couple notes on this one… this chapter was super long; I'll spare you the details, but know that this is split up for your sanity, and mine! haha!

Rather than just connect them, I believe I will make them separate and more reasonable length chapters. So this is the new, improved, and much shorter chapter ten. :)

Ron's comical behaviour where Fleur is concerned was inspired by my current re-reading of Goblet of Fire.
As far as Lupin's Patronus is concerned, we still don't know – it may be revealed in the next year, because J.K. Rowling stated that she wrote a full-length biography for Remus for Prisoner of Azkaban on Pottermore – so we will likely know soon!:)

The reason I chose an owl was actually well represented in an artwork I saw on deviantART, by ~She-Beast if you'd like to check it out:)

That's where that idea came into play, but I'd love opinions/feedback on what y'all think his would be and why! :D Mad-Eye's Patronus…that was random, but I'd be interested to hear y'all's thoughts on that as well:)

Also, as I was editing this, I got to thinking, and is it just me or do Tonks and Remus fall asleep on that darned sofa a lot? Haha! It must be really comfy…I want one. XD

Anyways, I'll stop talking now. ;)

Thanks so much for taking the time to read!

May God bless each of you3