Phoenix's note: Sorry for the long wait, fans! It's not easy doing end-of-the-year projects and having a part-time job all at once. Plus, my computer crashed, so I had to take my work on the road. And hopefully, you guys were able to use the time I was absent to get used to my new name as well as focus on your other stuff. In addition to this episode's plot, I have decided to explore the Ed/Bombshell (that's my collective name for this series' hottest and most popular girls: Holly, Maggie, and Nazz) pairings before they become official later on. (By the way, in order to prevent future confusion, pay attention to the dialect between the Eds and the bombshells, but DON'T think for a second that they are couples!) Anyway, please enjoy and publicly review episode 6!
EPISODE 6: DON'T PUSH YOUR ED
The screen opened up in Kevin's basement, where Kevin himself, Nate, and Eddy were playing poker with only the ceiling's light bulb shining on the round table. There was a small pile of money in the middle of the table. Each boy had some cards in their respective hands and was looking at each other as well as their cards. Eddy sat there with a confident look on his face while the other boys looked casual. All three boys were wearing their respective sweaters/hoodies.
"Well?" Kevin uttered with a grin. "You gonna show or fold?"
"Chill, Kev!" said Eddy as he looked at his (Eddy's) cards. "You might wish you hadn't said that once ya see my hand!"
"Hope you got a better hand than no-skill Bennett here!" Kevin joked.
"Hey!" Nate angrily replied.
"Hate to be the guy to tell ya this, but he's right!" said Eddy. "If you wanna take Brooke out to Red Lobster tonight, you gotta push yer luck to the limit!"
"Red Lobster?" repeated Kevin. "That place is steep, man! Why dont'cha take her to Golden Corral or somethin'?"
"Cuz my mom works there!" Nate replied. "When I was with Nazz, my head-chef mom kept on sendin' waiters to my table!"
"But that's an all-you-can-eat buffet!" Eddy grinned. "Most of the food there you just grab with yer own freakin' hand!"
"You wanna tell her that?" Nate asked with an annoyed tone. "Anyway, let's get back to the game."
"You mean my game!" Kevin smirked as he slammed his three kings on the table.
"That all ya got? Read 'em and weep!" asked Nate before he slammed his four aces onto the table. He reached for the cash before Eddy knocked his hand away!
"Speak for yerself! Game's mine, baby!" Eddy smirked as he slammed five aces onto the table and pulled in the cash before he put it all in his bag!
"DAMMIT!" Nate yelled as he banged his fists on the table and Kevin angrily uttered, "GOD!"
"Just do us all a favor and don't go to Las Vegas, all right?" Eddy laughed.
"Aw, this sucks!" exclaimed Nate. "What am I gonna tell Brooke?"
"Yer gonna tell 'er that it's dinner at yer mom's place, tonight!" Eddy joked.
"I ain't goin' back to that Golden Corral!" Nate yelled.
"Wasn't talkin' 'bout that place, dude!" joked Eddy. "Why don't chu buy some popcorn and cherry coke and watch Transformers 2 in your bedroom? Least you'll get lucky there! And I'll get lucky here!" he tapped his backpack.
"You might run out tomorrow!" Kevin smirked.
"You know I don't believe in that Friday the 13th bullshit! Get real!" Eddy replied before he ran up the basement stairs.
Outside of Kevin's house and on the curb, Ruben sat in the front seat of his black GMC Acadia and was wearing a brown toupee instead of the black one he had on in How to catch an Ed. Ruben repeatedly blew the horn before Eddy ran out of Kevin's house and to the car.
"Took ya long enough, slug!" joked Ruben.
"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Whatever!" Eddy smiled as he got into the shotgun seat of the car. "Now, let's go! Go! GO!" he said excitedly before father and son drove off-screen.
The screen transitioned to the front of "Comic Tavern" (Get your Ed in the game) before the Gates' Acadia drove right by it. Outside of Comic Tavern was the Kankers, who stared at Ed as he wiped the front counter! But Ed did not know that they were out there. Not even when May was breathing heavily on the glass with a lustful look on her face.
"I just love working men!" May panted.
"Then you better make him work for you in the bedroom!" joked Marie.
"Well, what're you waiting for?" asked Lee. "Go get 'im while he's hot!"
May excitedly nodded her head and just before she could touch the door, Holly drove up to the Tavern's parking lot and parked next to Ed's Infiniti G sedan in her burnt orange Chevy Cobalt. She emerged from her car and ran threw the doors with a big smile on her face. The Kankers looked through the door's window and saw Holly approach the still-wiping Ed. Behind Ed was his picture and the words "Employee of the Month" engraved on the frame.
"Ahem!" Holly cleared her throat affectionately before Ed looked up and developed a smile of his own!
"Hey, you!" Ed said after he ceased wiping. "What's on yer mind?"
"I just wanted to know if you were coming to "Barr Carnival" tomorrow!" asked Holly.
"Don't we have school tomorrow?" Ed asked.
"No silly!" Holly laughed. "Tomorrow's "Teachers' Workday"! Remember?"
"Oh, right!" Ed grinned in embarrassment. "Well, I dunno, Holly! Carnivals aren't really my cup of tea!"
"Oh, c'mon!" begged Holly. "Everyone's doing something with somebody and I don't wanna be a lonely girl! Cuz then the mimes'll start hitting on me! Besides, it'll be the last day the Carnival's open until it closes and reopens next year! So, please! For me?" before she affectionately began to rub on Ed's eyebrow with her index finger!
Outside of the store, May was red with anger while her eye pupils caught on fire!
"You gonna let that orange-haired skank steal yer man?" Marie asked May.
Right when May was about to break the door down, Lee subdued her.
"Are you crazy? There's security cameras in there!" Lee lectured. "Wait till the bitch comes out before you lash out at 'er!"
As soon as May calmed down, Lee released her before they all continued to look into the store.
"Oh, all right! I'll go!" Ed agreed with a smile. "For both you and my buds! Mostly you though!"
Just then, a blonde man in his late twenties walked out from the back and approached the front desk. He was wearing the same uniform as Ed, but his nametag read, "Matt".
"O.k., kid! Yer shift's over!" Matt said as he typed on the front desk's computer. "Grab yer free comic and have a good night!"
"Thanks, Matt!" Ed replied as he grabbed his off-screen jacket from behind him and put it on. Ed typed on the computer for a little bit before a receipt that read "Edward Fuller: Clocking out" came out. He grabbed it, balled it up, and stored it in his pocket before he looked at Holly as he grabbed a comic that read "Red Shadow" and put it in his pocket. "Let's go!"
The teens walked outside of the door and headed for their respective cars before…
"SLUT!" screamed May as she lunged at Holly.
May tackled Holly on top of her own hood and began strangling her!
"HOLLY!" yelled Ed as he reached for Holly. But Lee and Marie grabbed his arms and kept him from getting in the way!
"LET GO OF ME…BITCH!" Holly screamed before she double-kicked May off of her and made her hit her head on the comic store's wall!
Seeing their sister down, Lee and Marie angrily slammed Ed into the brick wall before they both charged at Holly! The latter braced herself for impact before both Kankers tackled her to the ground!
"NO!" screamed the enraged Ed before he ripped himself out of the wall and took off his jacket.
Lee and Marie each twisted one of Holly's arms behind her back and held her head against her own car's hood.
"We don't tolerate whores!" said Lee.
"Especially violent ones!" added Marie. "So, yer gonna-AAAAHH"
Marie failed to finish her sentence when Holly kicked her in the shin and made her release her! Holly then stood up and threw Lee away from her! Holly stared down both of the Kankers before they lunged at her! But just then, Ed's jacket wrapped the two girls up before Ed himself yanked them towards him and slammed them into the recovered May! Ed then turned around and angrily stared at them!
"TOUCH HER AGAIN! I DARE YOU BIMBOS TO TOUCH HER AGAIN!" growled Ed. Lee and Marie quivered in fear while May just stood there with a turned-on look on her face! "I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EVEN LOOK AT HOLLY FUNNY, I WILL DROP A HOUSE SO BIG ON TOP OF YOU, THAT NOT EVEN YOUR MOM'LL RECOGNIZE YOU! NOW, GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!"
Frightened and led by May, Lee and Marie fled Ed's sight. As they ran, May looked back at Ed and just smiled! Ed turned around and looked Holly, who just stared at him in admiration. No boy had ever been that protective of her.
"You okay?" Ed asked his friend.
"Y-yeah!" Holly replied with a smile. "I sure am lucky having you around!"
"Yup!" Ed said as he blushed. "Are you okay enough to drive?"
"Mmm-hmm!" Holly smiled with a nod.
"Then let's get outta here!" said Ed.
Ed and Holly respectively got into their Infiniti G sedan and Chevy Cobalt before they both pulled out of the parking lot.
On an unknown street, the Gates' Acadia had just now passed a sign that read "Bones' Used Car dealership". Inside the car…
"Dad, you just missed the used car dealership!" Eddy noticed.
"No son of mine's gettin' a piece of crap used car!" Ruben smirked. "Especially when I got lucky with closing a sale for a house in Flavorcrest Hills!"
"Don't mess with me, man!" the excited Eddy looked at his dad! "You were able to sell a house in of all places: Flavorcrest Hills? The most expensive neighborhood in Peach Creek?"
"Yep!" Ruben smiled proudly. "It was a mansion too! I'm practically spoilin' ya! The car is gonna take up most of my paycheck along with half of yer brother's college fund!"
"What about the other half?" Eddy asked.
"You still gotta go to college don't you?" Ruben looked at his son.
Father and son drove up to "Caesar's wheels", which had all kinds of vehicles! The dealership was a huge, one-story building with big transparent glass windows. The excited Eddy uttered, "Oh, this is great dad! I love ya for this! And for other stuff that ain't as important as what's happenin' right now!"
"Just don't expect me to replace any wheels!" Ruben joked before he parked the Acadia.
Inside the building, Malcolm (What an Ed wants) was sitting at a desk and watched as Ruben and Eddy got out of the Acadia via the transparent glass window.
"Oh, I don't believe it!" Malcolm said excitedly as he stood up and walked out of his desk area. Outside, Ruben and Eddy were walking towards the building with the former having a black suitcase in his left hand.
"You think they have my dream car?" asked Eddy.
"What, a Chevy Camaro?" asked Ruben as Eddy nodded. "This place has a helluva lot more hot-looking cars! Why would you-"
"Ruben!" Malcolm greeted with a smile.
"Malcolm!" greeted Ruben before the men gave each other a high-five/handshake.
"Lookin' for somethin' new?" said Malcolm.
"I'm actually here to buy a car for Spike here!" Ruben said as he touched Eddy's hair spikes.
"Oh, hey Eddy!" Malcolm said as he shook the boy's hand. "Man, yer startin' to look more like yo dad everyday. You look like him durin' our high school graduation!"
"High school?" Eddy repeated. "I thought you guys were just college roommates!"
"How could you think that after we've invited him over as many times as we have in the past?" Ruben asked.
"Hey, once you turn 13 in this generation, everything about mom, dad, and their friends is just "Say what?" Now, let's get down to business!" Eddy ranted before the screen shifted to the left side of the building, which had different mustangs of all colors.
"We've got Traxes, Malibus, Silverados, Corvettes! You name it, we got it!" Malcolm said as they walked.
"Got anything under forty grand?" asked Ruben.
"Like a Camaro?" asked Eddy.
"Eddy!" Ruben said sternly.
"As a matter of fact, we do have a Camaro!" said Malcolm. "Only one left though! In silver!"
"Lemme see! Lemme see!" Eddy excitedly demanded.
Next to a white Chevy silverado was a silver Chevy Camaro. Eddy got on his knees and stared at the tires in admiration. He bit his lip in excitement before he stood up and looked at his dad with a bug-eyed smile.
"That goofy smile says everything!" joked Ruben. "Just like yer mother when she told me how much she gets paid now! All right, how much?" he put his suitcase on the hood.
"$37,050!" answered Malcolm.
"Darn it!" Ruben exclaimed before he opened the suitcase. "I'm fifty bucks short!"
"No problem, dad!" Eddy said as he put his backpack in front of him and unzipped it. He went inside and pulled out all of his basement poker winnings! He handed them to Malcolm, who quickly counted it.
"Well, whadoya know!" said Malcolm. "Paid in full! Plus a dollar!"
"No offense Mr. Bennett, but I think Nate needs to have his allowance stripped until he gets some skills!" joked Eddy.
"Here you are!" Malcolm laughed as he handed Eddy the key to the Camaro. The latter snatched the key away out of excitement before he looked at his dad! "Y'know! You are one lucky kid conveniently having money at this point!"
"I know, right?" agreed the bug-eyed Eddy.
"So, Spike! Tell me!" Ruben smirked. "You think you have what it takes to beat your old man in a race? I know a route we can take that's cop-free!"
"Yer so on!" Eddy accepted before the screen shifted to an unknown street and Ruben's Acadia and Eddy's Camaro was seen racing down it while both drivers screamed, "WHOOOO!"
In the junkyard, Edd and Maggie were working on the cruiser while Cody sat on top of the retro van's hood and slurped on a bottle of grape soda. Maggie worked on the vehicle's engine while Edd worked underneath the vehicle. Edd emerged from underneath the vehicle with oil on his face and shirt.
"Guys, it is now secure to say that the necessary repairs to the cruiser's engine have been successfully implemented!" Edd smiled before he closed the hood.
"'Bout time you finished your end of the bargain, dude!" said Cody. "Sucks that we had to gut the transformation features, though!"
"Bargain?" Maggie closed the hood. "I thought you guys work together on all high-tech stuff?"
"Nah!" replied Cody. "I've been workin' on this thing since we were 5! All D did was give me what I needed since he didn't understand advanced tech til three years back!"
"Yet, that does not keep him from opening his modest heart and citing credit for the both of us!" added Edd.
Maggie opened the driver's door and pulled down the ignition lever before the cruiser started up! Both Cody and Edd stared at her with the latter having his jaw dropped!
"What?" Maggie innocently smiled. "I can't have a genius-level I.Q. like you guys and be popular?"
Just then, Maggie's cell phone rang before she pulled it out of her left pocket and saw that it was a text. She looked at it before she looked at the boys.
"Dinnertime! Gotta go!" Maggie said before she turned around and began to walk out.
"Maggie!" Edd ran up behind Maggie, who turned around and smiled at him. "I-I…" he stuttered as he sweated. "…j-just wanted to…" he gulped as she raised her left eyebrow. "…tell you that I…look forward to seeing you at the carnival tomorrow!"
"Just make sure you wash your clothes tonight, grease monkey!" Maggie replied as she stroked Edd's three chin hairs. She turned around and walked off-screen before Edd stared at her with a saddened facial expression. Cody then walked up behind him.
"Man, how is it possible to be both lucky and unlucky?" Cody asked with a smirk.
"Pardon?" Edd replied.
"You know what I mean!" Cody said. "A smokin' hot babe with a knack for creatin' technology is into you, but you can't seem to use what you call "manhood" to break the ice!"
"I haven't found the appropriate time or place to do so!" justified Edd.
"That was your excuse for the last eleven times you tried and bolted!" Cody responded as Edd folded his arms and frowned. "Look D. It's been almost a month since you and Sarah broke up. And since yer over her, I think it's time for you to move on! Guys like you shouldn't stay single!"
"You're suggesting that I must gain some much-needed testicular courage if I wish to obtain Maggie's heart." Said Edd.
"As yer cousin and friend, I have to say that that is somethin' you gotta list as a priority!" added Cody. "Cuz if you don't, someone will and yer outta luck! Now, let's get outta here!"
Cody walked towards the cruiser while Edd just stood there and thought about what his cousin had just said.
Near the cul-de-sac, Nazz and Jonny were jogging on the sidewalk. Nazz had her hair in a ponytail and was wearing a purple sports bra, black jogging pants, and her usual sneakers. Jonny was wearing a white V-neck T-shirt, blue jogging shorts, and his usual sneakers. Nazz was pumped full of energy and was not sweaty at all while Jonny felt quite the opposite and looked like he was about to pass out!
"Don't you…gasp…normally do this…wheeze…with Holly and Maggie?" Jonny panted.
"Yeah, but they had stuff to do and I hate running alone!" replied Nazz. "Now, pick up the pace! This the best you got? I thought you were an athlete!" she taunted.
"I-I was!" Jonny answered. "But I had to…wheeze…quit because Plank and I got…wheeze…jobs at "Kramer Kreme donut shop"!"
"Donut shop?" Nazz repeated. "That changes everything! 3 more runs around the block! Now, come on!" she and the unwilling Jonny ran faster.
"Those tight glutes of hers are the only thing keepin' me goin' too, buddy!" Jonny said to Plank.
"Let's go, Jonny!" urged Nazz. "It's not like I'm asking you to race me or somethin'!"
Just then, Ruben's Acadia and Eddy's Camaro zipped right past the jogging teens with the Camaro being the first to reach the Gates' house! The garage's door slowly opened just as father and son emerged from their respective vehicles. Nazz and Jonny ran down the sidewalk to see what was going on.
"Better luck next time, Jeff Gordon!" Eddy taunted Ruben.
"Not bad…for a teenager!" Ruben replied before he got back inside and drove his Acadia into the house. Right before Eddy could do the same, Nazz and Jonny approached him.
"Cool car, Eddy!" complemented Nazz. "And it looks like you already broke it in!"
"Yep!" replied the smiling Eddy. "No more backseat drivin' for this guy!"
"Hey, Eddy!" started Jonny. "Since you got a hot ride now, you won't be needin' yer motorcycle anymore, right?"
"Y'know what? Yer right, Jonny-boy!" Eddy said before he turned towards his garage, reached off-screen EEnE-style, and put his Suzuki Hayabusa (How to Catch an Ed) right in front of him. "And since I'm in such a good mood right now, I'm willin' to let you take care of her free of charge!"
"NO FOOLIN'?" the excited Jonny exclaimed as Nazz stood there in surprise.
"But, being a member of the Gates family and therefore having the hereditary urge to make money, let me tell you that this is a limited-time offer!" Eddy smirked. "In short, if the bike's not gone in three seconds, I'm inclined to charge you! 1! 2!"
Jonny hopped onto the motorcycle with a huge grin on his face!
"WE CAN KISS THAT OL' SCOOTER GOOD-BYE NOW, BUDDY!" Jonny yelled at Plank before they drove off-screen; leaving only Nazz and Eddy.
"Heh! Probably gonna use his employee discount at Kramer Kreme!" scoffed Eddy with a grin.
"And gain some pounds that I probably helped him lose!" Nazz sternly added as she swung her hip.
"Little donut's not gonna hurt nobody!" Eddy said. "You look like you could use somethin' for that toned stomach of yers! Wanna eat dinner at my place?"
"Nah!" Nazz answered. "I just remembered that I gotta get home and cook since my parents aren't there enough to do it anymore!"
"Breakfast tomorrow mornin', then!" Eddy suggested. "Make you the best dam ham n' cheese omelet in yer life! Whadoya say? The other Eds'll be there!"
"Okay!" Nazz smiled. "I'll bring Holly and Maggie!"
"Sweet! Triple date!" Eddy grinned. "I'll buy some vodka!"
"Don't push your luck, Eddy!" Nazz smiled.
"No promises, sweetheart!" joked Eddy before he got back in his car and started it up. He drove it into the garage just as Nazz ran off screen. As soon as the garage door closed, the screen faded to black.
The screen reopened the following morning in Eddy's kitchen, where Eddy himself was cooking four omelets at once, Edd was neatly putting plates, knives, and forks on the table, and Ed, who had a horseshoe on a chain around his neck, put a 4-leaf clover next to each plate. Edd just stood there confused as he picked one up.
"A quadruple-leaf shamrock?" Edd asked. "Oh come now, Ed! Surely you don't believe in the preposterous folklore that surrounds the 13th day of the 6th day, do you?"
"Shh!" Ed shushed Edd. "You'll jinx us! Quick! Put this on!" Ed put a horseshoe-on-a-chain around Edd's neck. "It'll protect you!"
"From what? A ladder kicked by a horse?" joked Eddy as he put two omelets on two plates. "Seriously, Ed! You don't really believe in that bad luck bullshit, do you? I mean, c'mon! 7 years of bad luck if you break a mirror? How lame!"
"That's bullshit what you just said, Eddy!" Ed continued. "Everyone thinks bad luck is measured in years when it actually lasts…"
"Whatever!" Eddy interrupted. "Just don't be puttin' those horseshoes on the girls when they get here!"
"You just don't have faith in good luck charms like you used to, huh Eddy?" Ed asked.
"No, I make my own luck!" Eddy replied as he put the last two omelets on two plates. "As does everybody else in my family that's got Irish blood! Now, grab some sodas!"
Meanwhile in Nazz's bedroom, the bombshells were quickly prettying themselves up in front of Nazz's mirror in prep for their breakfast with the Eds. Nazz was sitting down and combing her hair, Holly was curling her eyelashes, and Maggie was putting make-up powder on her face.
"Okay girls, remember!" Nazz started. "No flirting! This is just breakfast!"
"Whadoya mean, "no flirting"?" Holly stopped curling her eyelashes. "It's the boys you gotta keep your eye on! One look at my chest and Ed'll be lookin' for a different type of breakfast! By the way, remind me to tell Eddy that if he has any expensive or fine china on his table, he should get it outta the way fast!"
"No, Nazz is right, Holly!" Maggie said. "We should save it for the carnival, tonight! When they get full off of junk-food and need nursing!"
"You mean when Double D needs nursing!" replied Nazz. "Dude can't even go up a roller coaster hill without taking a heave!"
"Well, Eddy can't help but spend less than $15 on someone he doesn't go out with!" Maggie retaliated.
"True!" Nazz said as she and her fellow bombshells put lipstick on. Once done… "Let's go girls!"
Holly and Maggie headed for the door as Nazz put her lipstick in her purse. As she walked by it, her purse titled slightly before it fell and her lipstick, a comb, an eye-lining pencil, and a small make-up mirror fell out with the latter breaking on impact!
"Was that the sound of a mirror breaking?" the bug-eyed Holly suddenly turned around.
"Yeah. Why so freaked out?" Nazz replied as she picked her stuff up.
""Why so freaked out?"?" repeated Holly. "You break a mirror on a day like today and that's all you can say?"
"What are you tal—Oh no!" Maggie slapped her forehead. "Please tell that you don't believe in that Friday the 13th crap! Holly, just because your parents are superstitious, it doesn't mean that you-"
Maggie was interrupted when Nazz's huge mirror suddenly fell down and shattered before the girls all shrieked!
"You guys head over to Eddy's place!" Holly panicked. "I gotta head home real quick!" she rushed out the door before Nazz and Maggie looked at each other and then at the mirror.
In Eddy's kitchen, Eddy himself was seen cooking one big omelet as he stood next to a broken egg on the floor. As Eddy sprinkled brown and orange seasoning on the omelet, Ed walked up behind him while Edd covered the other omelets on the table.
"Aw, how come you get the extra meaty one?" Ed envied.
"You may be a big guy Ed, but I'm the big man here!" Eddy replied.
"But I'm the working man here!" Ed argued.
"Quit whinin'!" Eddy turned around. "Yo Double D! Toss me the salt!"
Edd grabbed the table salt and tossed it to Eddy, who caught it as Ed yelled, "CAREFUL!" in a booming voice that caused Eddy to lose his grip for a moment! Eddy caught the salt and angrily glared at Ed.
"Yer bein' an idiot! Go sit down!" ordered Eddy before he walked to the right and slipped on the broken egg and unintentionally threw the salt!
"NOOOOOOO!" Ed screamed in slow motion as he dove for the ground in an attempt to catch the salt! Ultimately… the salt escaped Ed's hand and fell to the floor! But it did not break nor did any salt spill out! Ed saw this and uttered a heavy sigh of relief. But suddenly, the top fell off and a whole bunch of salt spilled out!
"SPILLED SALT! BAD LUCK!" yelled the bug-eyed Ed as he sprung himself up! He ran towards the exit doorway, but Eddy stretched his arm out EEnE style and pulled him back before he uttered, "WHAT'D I SAY? YER BEIN' AN IDIOT AGAIN! THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS BAD LUCK ON FRIDAY THE 13TH!"
Just then, the fire underneath the omelet mysteriously intensified exponentially before it returned to normal!
"What the-?" Eddy turned around before his doorbell rang twice and Edd yelled, "I'll get it!" as he walked into the living room. He answered the door and saw Nazz and Maggie.
"Salutations, ladies!" Edd greeted before he noticed that Holly was missing. "Where's Holly?"
"Out getting charms!" Nazz rolled her eyes as she and Maggie walked in.
"Oh, for Heaven's sake!" Edd slapped his forehead. "Not her t-"
"Hey, Double D!" Holly suddenly ran into the house with a plastic bag in her hand. In the kitchen, Holly had just now walked in front of Ed, Eddy, Nazz, and Maggie before… "Okay, one charm per person! Take your pick!"
"I'm good as it is, Holly! Look! Horseshoe necklace…" Ed went into his shirt and pulled out a fish's skeleton on a necklace-rope. "My way-more-than-lucky fishy, Angus Jr…" Ed went into his left jacket pocket and pulled out a moldy piece of Swiss cheese! "…and my third-times-the-charm-themed lucky cheese chunk, Sheldon the third!" Ed finished before Edd walked in and groaned in disgust along with Eddy, Nazz, and Maggie.
"Good job, big guy!" Holly complemented. "I've got my lucky panties…" Holly exposed her blue panties by stretching them out. "…my little brother's lucky soccer ball…" she pulled it out of the bag and showed the others. "…my mom's lucky silver watch. One of them, anyway…" she showed it to them. "…and my dad's lucky golf club!" she took out a golf club.
"All right, that's ENOUGH!" Eddy yelled before he slapped the club out of Holly's hand. It flew up into the air and headed towards Eddy's omelet! As Eddy yelled "I AM TELLIN' YOU FOR THE LAST TIME, " the club hit the pan's handle and catapulted the piping hot omelet towards the group! Eddy continued yelling, "THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS…", as Ed turned around angrily and developed bug-eyes when he saw the…
"KILLER OMELET! DUCK!" Ed yelled before he ducked. The omelet flew over Ed and zoomed right passed Holly, Eddy, and Nazz. Unfortunately, Maggie didn't see the omelet in time to avoid it and was therefore hit in the face by it before the screen faded to black!
The screen reopened in Edd's room, which had the same emergency room look it did in One size fits Ed. Only this time, there was only one medical bed and Maggie was resting in it while having bandages wrapped around her head. Edd (who was dressed like a doctor) was monitoring her and was writing something down on his clipboard. He looked at her in concern before he closed the curtain. Outside, Eddy, Ed, Nazz, and Holly were sitting at Edd's picnic table before Edd himself came out.
"So what's up, McCoy?" asked Eddy.
"She's resting." Edd replied. "I gave her some sleeping medications in order to save her the additional pain of a vaccination recommended by mother!"
"Is there anything we can do for her?" Nazz asked.
"Medically, I have everything in a secure order!" Edd answered. "Yet, I think what she desires when she awakens is one of her most favored substances!"
"Mint-Chocolate chip milkshakes!" Nazz, Holly, and Edd said in unison.
"I was gonna head down to "The Shakedown" later today! I'll pick one up!" Eddy said as he stood up.
"I'll come with you!" said Nazz as she stood up. "I wanna make sure it's specialized!"
"Are you guys crazy?" Holly asked. "That place is as much a bad-luck trap as Eddy's house!"
"Oh, God! Will you stop with this bullshit?" the annoyed Eddy said to Holly.
"Seriously, Holly!" Nazz added. "This isn't the time!"
"The hell it isn't!" Ed angrily justified. "Maggie gettin' third degree burns was the first strike! A warning! A way of tellin' us that if we don't take action, we'll get somethin' worse!"
"I'll give ya somethin' worse if you don't stop bein' stupid!" Eddy got in Ed's face!
"You of all people should believe in this so-called bullshit, Eddy!" Ed argued.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Eddy grinded his teeth.
"You know exactly what it means Mr. "This stupid phone's cursed"!" Ed continued.
"ENOUGH!" Edd angrily intervened. "Honestly! A friend is in need and you choose to have an argument over absurd and superstitious mythology now?"
Everyone paused for a moment of silence before Eddy broke it by uttering, "He's right! So, I'll go get the shake while Fuller here finds time to get a clue! Let's go, Nazz!"
Eddy and Nazz angrily walked towards Edd's exit fence as Ed and Holly watched; angered at the fact that their own friends refused to believe them.
"C'mon, Holly! Help me safe-proof my house like you did yours!" Ed said before he and Holly walked back into the house. Edd shook his head in frustration as he held his forehead.
The screen slowly transitioned to an unknown street, where Eddy and Nazz had just now drove down the street in the former's Camaro.
"I can't believe those two!" Nazz said as she thought about Ed and Holly's beliefs. "Maggie's in a fucked-up position right now and all they can think about are those damn urban legends! And then Ed had the nerve to get in your face about something stupid like a cursed telephone? Even for a guy like him, that's weird and low!"
Eddy didn't respond. He just continued to concentrate on the road as he thought about what Ed said.
"Dude, are you alright?" Nazz asked, but Eddy still didn't respond. "Hello? Earth to Eddy!"
"Can I ask you somethin', Nazz?" Eddy asked.
"Yeah, sure!" she replied.
"I don't believe in Friday the 13th any more than you do, but…do you get this feeling that weird things happen right after somethin' normal happens?"
"What are you saying?" Nazz asked.
"Before you and the other bombshells showed up, I…accidentally spilled some salt." started Eddy. "And not too long afterwards, you, me, and the others saw that omelet go smack into Maggie's face! But like I said, I don't believe in Friday the 13th !"
Nazz put herself into a thinking position before she uttered, "Now that I think about it…I accidentally broke my make-up mirror and right after…my bigger mirror suddenly broke! It was so weird!"
"Too weird to be a coincidence!" Eddy said. "Maybe…No! No! No fuckin' way!"
"Let's not talk about this anymore! I'm like totally about to freak out!" Nazz said.
"Good thing we're goin' to a place where we can chill out!" Eddy casually said.
The teens drove up to "The Shakedown", which parodied Steak n' Shake in appearance. They entered the drive-thru and were the second people in line. Eddy put his window down as Nazz took out her wallet.
"Whadoya want?" Eddy asked Nazz.
"Uh-" Nazz started before she looked out her window when she heard a Caucasian boy say to his black friend as they walked down the street…"Probably shouldn't! I already feel like I'm gonna burst!"
"Then, let me have it!" said the black kid.
Nazz continued to look at the boys and noticed that the black one was about to step on a huge crack! Nazz developed bug-eyes of fear as she thought about the correlation between the incident with Maggie and her room's mirrors.
"Nazz, are you alright?" Eddy asked, but Nazz did not respond. "Nazz-"
"WATCH OUT FOR THAT CRACK!" Nazz yelled. But the black kid stepped on it and looked at Nazz before he looked at his friend and shook his head as if Nazz was crazy! "Oh no!" she said softly.
"Nazz, what's-" started Eddy.
Suddenly, the 10-ft.-tall billboard-like neon "SHAKEDOWN" sign started to spark and tilt towards the Camaro! Nazz noticed this before Eddy got out of his car and saw for himself!
"Oh sh…" He uttered as he got back in his car. He repeatedly honked his horn as he shouted, "YO! MOVE, MAN! MOVE!"
"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Nazz shouted out of her window! But the person in front refused to do so! Just then, the sign started to fall!
"AAAGGGHHH!" screamed Nazz, before Eddy yelled "HANG ON!"
Eddy shifted gears, threw his car in reverse, and narrowly escaped a grisly fate at the hands of the neon sign, which was destroyed the moment it hit the ground! Eddy continued to go in reverse until he got back onto the street and drove normally as other cars honked their horns at him.
"Okay, I think it's time… to take the saying "seeing is believing" seriously at this point!" Nazz said.
"Yer right!" Eddy agreed. "But Double D ain't gonna buy it and I'm gonna hate hearin' monobrow say "I told you so"! So, I pick warn Double D first!"
Nazz took out her cell phone before the screen shifted to the inside of Edd's bedroom, where Edd was seen sitting next to the still-resting Maggie as he read a magazine titled "THE OUTSIDE WORLD FOR FUTURE EXPLORERS". In the background, thunder could be heard and rain was seen trickling down the window. Edd cell phone rang in his left pocket before he answered it.
"Salutations, Nazz!" Edd greeted before the screen shifted back to Nazz and Eddy.
"Never mind that!" Nazz said in a rushed voice. "Somethin' bad almost happened to me and Eddy at the Shakedown drive-thru!"
"What is it?" Edd asked on the other end before Nazz replied, "Eh…I think it'll be better to tell you in person instead of on the phone!" Nazz said before the screen shifted back to Edd. "Just open your garage's door when we pull up!"
"Gotcha!" Edd responded before he hung up his phone.
Suddenly, the power went out when a flash of lightning flashed in front of the window! "Darn it!" Edd exclaimed before the screen shifted to his dark hallway while wearing rubber gloves and having a red umbrella. He walked downstairs as he struggled with opening his umbrella. The moment he reached the door, his umbrella sprung open! "Success!" he said softly. Edd ran outside and towards the generator on the left side of the house. Unbeknownst to Edd, the generator sparked a little before he got to it. Edd opened the generator and flipped the huge switch off as he grunted. He then attempted to switch it back on, but it proved to be more difficult than switching it off! "Stubborn lever!" he strained. He then successfully flipped the switch back on and right when he grinned lucratively, he got shocked! Despite wearing rubber gloves, the water conducted the electricity and emitted enough juice to send Edd flying through his house's wall! Just then, the lights came back on in the quivering Edd's house just as the storm settled and departed at EEnE speed. Prompting this, Eddy and Nazz pulled up in Edd's driveway.
"What the hell?" Eddy said. "I thought you told him to open the garage!"
"I did!" answered Nazz before Eddy suspiciously threw his car in park. Eddy and Nazz emerged from the Camaro and walked up to Edd's doorstep. Eddy banged on the door three times as he yelled, "Yo Sockhead! Open up! It's me!" but no one answered. He banged on the door four more times before he yelled, "C'mon! Nazz told you we were comin'!" and rang the doorbell three times.
"Eddy…I think somethin's wrong!" Nazz worried. "I can feel it!"
"Well, I can smell it! Get back!" Eddy replied as he and Nazz stepped back. "HYAH!" Eddy shouted as he kicked the door down police officer style. He then developed bug-eyes while Nazz gasped upon seeing Edd quivering and sparking as a result of being electrocuted! The two rushed towards their friend in concern and kneeled at his side.
"Double D!" Nazz reached for Edd's face in concern.
"Don't touch him!" Eddy yelled before Nazz looked at him. "Looks like he got fried only a few seconds before we got here!"
"Whadoya think caused this?" Nazz asked as Eddy continued to look at Edd. He then noticed that Edd still had a firm grip on his umbrella, which was also fried.
"Opened umbrella…inside!" Eddy deduced.
"Oh man!" Nazz exclaimed fearfully. "This is gettin' way too intense for me!"
"I hate to say it, but there is only one thing we can do now if we wanna get some answers!" Eddy said as the screen zoomed in on him and faded to black.
The screen reopened in Ed's bedroom, which was mostly boarded up. His window, closet, and bathroom were boarded shut and his TV was gone. His bed and chair were the only things that remained. Ed sat in his chair while Holly sat on the left arm of the chair.
"Bad luck can't get you now!" Holly said.
"Still, do you think it was a good idea to get rid of my TV?" asked Ed.
"Wouldn't want it to accidentally explode if you were to get gravy all over its power box, Mr. messy-eater!" Holly grinned before the door slammed open and Eddy and Nazz walked in.
"Well! Well! Well!" Ed pouted as Holly folded her arms in anger. "If it isn't Mr. and Mrs. I-think-my-friends-belong-in-a-nuthouse! Come to grace us with your hunted presence?"
"Save the attitude will ya, Lumpy?" Eddy said as he and Nazz sat down on his (Ed's) bed. "We got a situation!"
"What?" Ed asked with his arms folded.
"We found Double D lying on the floor in his house!" Nazz said. "He was shivering and sparking like he got shocked by a generator!"
"The only clue we found in terms of how…was this!" Eddy pulled out Edd's fried umbrella, which prompted Ed and Holly to gasp!
"We're sorry that we didn't believe you guys!" Nazz apologized. "But now we see how serious this is and we need your help! We need you to tell us everything you know about bad luck!"
"Well, for starters you should forget all about that 7-year, break-your-mama's-back crap!" Holly said.
"That's right!" Ed agreed. "Like I tried to tell Eddy earlier, bad luck isn't measured in years! That is the stuff mythology and history nerds came up with for dramatic bullshit!"
"Then, how long is it supposed to last?" Nazz asked.
The camera zoomed in on Ed for dramatic effect before he uttered, "Forever!" and Eddy and Nazz sighed emotionally.
"And it doesn't just effect you!" Holly added. "Just like we all witnessed earlier on, bad luck affects everyone that's around you! And until it strikes, you don't know when…and you don't know how!"
"Bad luck normally strikes the most skeptical of people first!" Ed continued. "In this case, our big-brained pals: Double D and Maggie!"
"And we were skeptical all the way up to the point where that sign nearly crushed us!" Nazz mumbled as she looked at Eddy, who asked "So, how do we stop it?"
"No one's ever beaten bad luck forever!" Holly replied.
"She's right! Your, and I do mean your, only option is to take refuge in a trouble-resistant environment for the rest of the day!" Ed said.
"But that would mean missing Barr carnival!" Nazz said.
"There's always next year, Nazz!" Holly said.
"Yeah! If you wanna avoid a fate worse than face-burning omelets and oversized batteries, you gotta make a choice…here and now!" Ed said.
Eddy and Nazz looked at each other dubiously and unwillingly. Eddy then nodded his head once. Realizing that him and his friends' safety mean more to him than a carnival. The two then looked back at Ed and Holly with battle-ready faces.
"All right!" Eddy said as he stood up. "Let's get started!"
Did you know: "Barr Carnival" is named after "Kathleen Barr", the voice actress for Kevin and Marie. Ed's co-worker, "Matt" is named after the voice actor for Ed himself: "Matt Hill". "Flavorcrest Hills" is named for "Flavorcrest": a type of Peach. (I figured that since the community is called "Peach Creek", there should be some references to said fruit.)
Phoenix's note: I wanted to explore the "Friday the 13th" legends and change them a little mainly because I think that myths like that should be portrayed in an epic and exciting manner that isn't clichéd or milked. I also decided to spend a decent portion of this series developing the personal bios and backgrounds of not just my OCs, but the primary characters as well. Plus, I am well aware that no one under 21 is allowed to gamble, but then again, no one under 21 is allowed to drink alcohol either! But they do it anyway! Stay tuned for next half!
