Clint Barton-Loki's Butt Warmer (Thank you!), Guest (I'm glad I've convinced you that Thor deserves some attention ;). Thanks!), Yuuko Uchiha (Thanks I lot! I'm glad you enjoy reading it :) ), Maru de Kusanagi (Thank you! Please, enjoy! :) ), Guest (I don't know how far would I've gone there either. Yes, I like to portray Thor's bravery. :) ), Prince Of Pariahs (Thanks! It's a huge pleasure for me to portray Thor, so I'm glad you enjoyed reading some more about him as a lone hero ;) ), Aquarinus (Thank you! Here's more), THORKISUPPORT (Thanks! Same to you ;) ), Elite Prime (That would've been nice, but alas... Thanks!), Ginsekatze (Thank you so much! That was very nice of you ;). About Thor... Well, let's just say, in this story he has already outgrown his oafishness :p. I'm glad you like him. It's a pleasure for me to write this story from his POV), salenastarzz (Thanks a lot! I hope it's going to meet your expectations ;) ), Guest (Thank you so much! I'm glad it looks scary. I hope you're going to like the next chapter), Pace1818 (Once again, thank you very much for all your comments!), M (Sounds so flattering for me, thank you :)! Don't be sorry for anything. Here's more.), Silver Jackie (I remember myself reading it a long time ago when I was a child. I'm more into Clive Barker's books, to be honest, if we're talking about the horror fiction. If you're curious why I call the monster in my story 'it', that's just because I find it more readable and less confusing for myself and my readers to call it that. In my native language it would've made some sense to call it 'he', but, frankly, it would've looked a bit confusing even then. Stephen King's book has nothing to do with that, but I guess you already know that it's pretty different if you've read all 10 chapters. Thanks for reviewing.).
A/N: The title is another traditional boxing thing said by a referee, just like the title of one of the previous chapters.
11. Protect Yourself At All Times
~oOo~
The senses were coming back slowly. At first Thor realised that he was slowly walking forward, so he stopped, feeling too dizzy, disoriented and confused to keep going. Then he felt the smell of dampness and smoke, which was less than pleasant. Who the hell was smoking in his face? Then he started hearing, though there wasn't anything in particular to hear, other than a distant dripping of water and the constant noise that was specific for underground tunnels. The next thing that came back to Thor was his empathy. Loki... He was here for his little brother. The knowledge of it appeared in his heart even before reaching his hazy mind. His chest was swelling with love, tenderness and pain of loss or maybe it was more correct to call it a separation anxiety. He needed Loki... He needed him so much, so desperately, that it hurt everywhere. He wanted to be close to Loki, to be able to touch him, to feel his warmth, to inhale his scent, to feel Loki's heartbeat against his own body; to feel Loki with all his senses, with his entire being, greedily... It was so powerful that he wanted to break down and start wailing from suffering that was tearing at his heart like razor-sharp claws of a huge beast.
"Loki!.." Thor moaned painfully, feeling so overwhelmed that he absolutely couldn't focus. He felt himself reeling, barely able to keep standing on his feet. "I love you, Loki... I love you, I need you..." he sobbed, though no tears escaped his eyes that tried to focus on something, anything.
For some time Thor was experiencing some kind of a sensory overload, but soon conscious thoughts cleared his mind and forced him to concentrate on what was going on, as well as on becoming aware enough to get ready to continue his way. He was standing in the same, underground passage, damp and dirty. Old pipes and wires along the walls... Thor suddenly thought that the concrete, rust-stained walls that the creature had used to block his ways had been taken from this place somehow, because the walls in these passages were similar. He still couldn't find the source of the very weak light that illuminated his way; very poorly, but he was thankful for having at least this, even though it wasn't much and he wouldn't have minded to have a torch or anything to use as one.
As Thor had finally stopped reeling and started feeling better, he turned around to see what was behind him. There was the dark emptiness with no gradual transition between the weak light and absolute darkness. Again... At first his heart fell at the thought that while he had been in that odd, unnatural darkness, he had unknowingly turned back and now was standing where he had started, in front of that place. That meant he would have to walk through that dark, disfigured space again. He didn't want to come back there and lose himself completely, not knowing if he would be able to see the light ever again. He cursed quietly. But as he looked around again more carefully, now completely conscious, he found little differences that convinced him that he was on the other side of the darkness, not where he had begun.
He had made it...
But what was he supposed to do now? He didn't know where to go. On the other hand, his empathy was detecting Loki better here, so now Thor could try to follow it.
He had no idea how much time he had spent in that abnormal darkness, but the time he spent after that, wandering in the endless tunnels, felt like many hours. Thor was tired and angry. He had a feeling he had been walking in circles all this time. What was worse, he couldn't locate his little brother, even feeling that he was somewhere close. Thor didn't know what to think. Was it the place itself, this damned hospital, or it was the creature's handiwork? The monster had probably lured him here to make him waste his time. Next time he would start all over again on the upper floor after the creature had already taken care of blocking the remained ways. And everything would be lost. Thor just knew he wouldn't have another chance. It was now or never. He was too livid to go on like this.
"I've had enough of your fucking games!" he roared. His booming voice seemed to have rolled throughout the entire place, sounding almost deafening even to his own ears. "Show yourself and fight me! What's the matter, are you so pathetic that you can't even face me on your own playground?! Show yourself, you fucking coward! Are you afraid of a human who wants to fight you?! Your friends in hell must be splitting their sides with laughter!" he taunted. "Come on! It must be so exhausting to build all those walls just to keep me away! Don't you want to finish this at once?! I'm here to take my Loki away! He's mine! Mine!" Thor kept roaring furiously and possessively. "You will only have him through my dead body! So come on!" And that was when the smell of smoke was becoming more acute and intense. The creature was approaching... He also felt Loki's presence better and closer. Had Loki heard him, too? It was very likely that he had.
Thor didn't have to wait long. The passage suddenly became wider and there were closed doors in the changed walls. Actually, it reminded him of one of those two similar corridors behind the double door, though the doors here were on both sides, instead of only one. Thor was mentally preparing himself to whatever was going to happen. The acrid smoke was hanging in the air, not too thick, though it didn't let Thor see far enough, but, at the same time, it wasn't too obscuring. Thor was listening carefully and looking around to make sure no one would be able to sneak up on him. And then he heard it. He heard its wheezing, heavy breathing, but couldn't fathom where the noise was coming from. It seemed to be everywhere and nowhere. Finally, he noticed that in about ten metres away from him there was a cloud of curling smoke, darker and much thicker than the smoky fog all over the place. Thor was carefully watching the smoke slowly forming the thin demonic figure made of flesh that emitted the smoke from the pores of its obscured body.
Despite his rage Thor made sure he was watching his back, in case it was a trap. Who knew what was on the creature's mind. It was the same ugly creature, quite tall, stooped, with long arms (or they seemed long because the creature was stooped) and slightly bent knees. It lifted its head. Thor couldn't see its face, if it had any, behind the curling smoke, but he could perfectly see the thick orange dot that suddenly lit up in the centre of it. As usual, it looked pretty ominous in the semi-darkness. Unable to see the monster's face and therefore any facial expressions, Thor, for some reason, decided that it was looking at him with curiosity, which was probably a result of the taunts and threats he'd roared earlier. Its arms attracted Thor's attention as it moved them slightly and slowly though they were still hanging down. After that, the arms, from the elbows and all the way down to the sharp fingertips slowly started glowing and very soon became red-hot at the elbows and even hotter down to the fingers that now looked almost white-hot. It resembled the creature's glowing 'eye'.
Thor wasn't in the mood to find out what the monster was up to; in mere moments he crossed the distance between the monster and himself with a few long, rapid strides, and attacked. He struck a crushing blow right to the side of the creature's head. A regular opponent would've been knocked down and would've probably got a serious head trauma, receiving such a powerful blow of Thor's bare fist. But it wasn't a regular opponent, far from it. Nevertheless, the blow had obviously confused the monster and made it reel for a few seconds. Luckily, it really had a flesh, obscured by all that smoke. If Thor had had any doubts before, which he hadn't had much anyway, now he had none left. Flesh could be hit and damaged, and beaten up to a pulp (which Thor was very eager to do at the moment). The creature drew in a heavy wheezing breath that distantly resembled a growl.
Unfortunately, Thor didn't have a chance to hit the monster again, because it forestalled him. He absolutely hadn't expected it to attack him with such a speed. Before he knew it, the creature grabbed his shoulder with an iron grasp of its white-hot hand. The agony that its burn caused was unspeakable, and though it was concentrated where the creature's hand was holding him, it travelled throughout his entire body, paralysing it. His very bones felt like they were aflame, and his blood was running through his veins like a liquid fire. The pain was shocking, so shocking that he couldn't even scream. The next moment he found himself on the floor where the creature had thrown him. Thor inhaled sharply, trying to overcome the pain and clear his mind from it.
"So... this is how... you hurt him, you scum? I'm going to kill you or die trying," he growled with pure hatred. It had done it to his Loki, hadn't it? It had burned him... The monster didn't look impressed by Thor's threat. It was just standing there, looking at Thor sceptically; so sceptically that it didn't bother to keep attacking him whilst waiting for him to get up and do something worthy of its attention.
There was a big burnt-out hole in Thor's t-shirt. The edges of the hole were still smouldering a little. It was revealing a serious, dark-red and very painful burn on his shoulder. It would undoubtedly leave a prominent scar. Thor couldn't let it bother him right now though, despite the pain that intensified every time he moved his arm and the burnt skin stretched. At the same time, Thor felt feverish and cold, though this feeling wasn't new near the creature. The young man, once again, wondered if that was how the cold of approaching death felt. The combination of the searing pain and that ante-mortem cold made it hard to focus, so he tried really hard to collect himself.
Getting up rather quickly and ready to fight back, Thor suddenly saw Loki, who was looking back at him with a deep concern and sadness. He was standing in one of the doorways, half-hiding behind the doorframe. Unlike all the previous times they had met in this hospital, Loki was looking straight at him. His little brother looked even more emaciated and exhausted than the last time Thor had seen him. It was like he was being slowly drained of everything. It made Thor hate the creature even more if it was even possible. When the monster slowly turned its face (if one could call it that) towards the smaller human, its body almost stopped moving, as its attention was fully riveted on Loki. Thor absolutely hated the way the creature was looking at his younger brother. It was practically radiating lust and hunger. Thor nearly exploded in rage at the mere sight of it. Loki froze. Seeing the creature looking at him like this, he became as pale as a ghost, and it seemed he couldn't even move, paralysed with terror. He actually looked like he was about to die from fear.
When the creature slowly started moving in his direction, he still kept standing there in terror, holding onto the door jamb. Enraged, Thor attacked the creature and hit the back of its head with his fist. This fight had no rules and this opponent deserved no respect. The monster reeled forward, but didn't fall.
"Loki! Loki, run, I won't let it follow you!" Thor shouted. His voice seemed to have snapped Loki out of his stupor a little. He started moving backwards slowly, his eyes full of fear. When he disappeared out of sight, Thor almost smiled to himself. The farther away Loki was from here, the better.
The creature, however, didn't take it well. Before it fully turned to Thor he managed to deliver several more blows to its head. Its breathing resembled a guttural growling now. The human flew into a rage and hit the monster again and again, and again, ignoring the pain in his slightly bleeding, split knuckles and the burnt shoulder. The blows affected the monster, but not as they would've affected a human, who would have long been lying on the floor unconscious (or dead) with their skull cracked, most likely.
Once again, Thor failed to react quickly as one of the white-hot hands grabbed him. It seemed he was blacking out for a few moments before its attacks, so it wasn't about its speed, it was about Thor's mind briefly becoming confused and incapable of reacting fast enough. This time it grabbed his throat and squeezed it. The pain was far beyond any pain Thor had ever felt, he was sure of it. He couldn't breathe. His entire body was burning and now his airways felt like he was choking on molten iron.
But while his mind couldn't work properly, consumed by the agony, his well-trained body and his survival instinct helped him to get out of the creature's burning grasp by once again hitting its head again and again until the pain made it let go and back away. Its breathing made it clear that the monster was in pain, though it was hardly comparable to the pain that Thor was feeling right now. While the human was having a fit of cough and was making his best effort to quickly recover mentally, as well as to recover his breath and overcome his dizziness, the monster stubbornly headed to the doorway to follow Loki. Perhaps, Thor's blows somewhat deprived it of its logic, if it had had any in the first place, but the blond couldn't have it in any case. The blind rage, birthed from the fact that the monster wanted to follow Loki again, quickly overshadowed Thor's pain.
"Leave him the fuck alone, you freak!" he roared huskily, delivering another powerful blow of his fist before the creature had even reached that doorway. Maybe Thor would've been really scared if he wasn't so livid and in so much pain. He wrestled the creature and hit it with all his might over and over again. The monster, in turn, was burning him or scratching him with its sharp, white-hot fingertips, leaving deep, burned wounds. Thor was half-conscious from both pain and fury, and probably from the acrid smoke that was filling his lungs every time he inhaled, but it wasn't making him stop thinking of Loki's safety. He hoped his little brother would be able to find a way out of here, with Thor or without him, in case the older of the two died together with the creature (and he'd already started suspecting that he wouldn't be able to come out of this alive). He only wanted Loki to be safe, far away from here.
At any rate, he would kill the monster, and it would no longer keep Loki trapped in this place. Loki had told him once, that it didn't let him go. Thor had to put it to an end, even if he wouldn't survive it.
It took him several long seconds to realise that he was no longer fighting. He was sitting on the floor on his knees and he was once again coughing. The smell of the smoke, as well as the smell of his own severely burnt flesh was overwhelming. He had to attack again. To hell with his pain, to hell with his death that was, most likely, awaiting him today. Thor no longer truly cared about himself and his fate. He'd almost resigned to the thought that he was going to die soon, even though the realisation of it made him feel a lump in his burned throat.
Meanwhile, the creature was standing several metres away from him. It was swaying, breathing harder than ever. It had fallen on the floor never once so far, but now it looked like it was about to collapse. But it was too strong to be defeated like this. Nevertheless, it needed time, obviously feeling dizzy from all the blows it had received in its head. Thor had spared no strength hitting it.
He was too weak and injured to attack immediately, but he knew the next round would start in no time and the monster would, most likely, attack first. He tried to get up, but ended up falling back on his knees. He needed time, but he didn't have any. So... It meant death then.
Suddenly Thor saw something out of the corner of his eye and heard some noise. His vision was blurry, but, as he turned his head, ready to defend himself from whatever was going to attack him, he saw Loki and his heart almost fell. Why hadn't his little brother listened to him?! Why hadn't he tried to leave this cursed place as Thor had told him?! That stubborn brat... But then he saw Loki dragging something heavy along the floor. It was so heavy that the boy couldn't lift it up. Thor forced himself to focus and saw... his sledgehammer! Loki was dragging it to him, holding the handle as the heavy head remained on the floor. The dark-haired youth was shaking in fear, too close to his torturer, and when he reached Thor, he hid behind his older brother falling on his knees behind the shield of muscles.
The blond took the sledgehammer, still shocked by what was going on. The lean arms embraced him carefully from behind, obviously trying not to hurt his terrible burns even more. Thor could feel his little brother's shaky breathing against his upper back, where Loki was pressing his face. The smaller body was trembling. But, despite the situation, for the first time in long time, Thor felt almost content. He put his hand on the smaller two, connected on his muscled chest. Once again, the older young man started feeling a sensory overload, and he could distinguish love and care as the predominant feelings. They were Loki's and they were flooding him, so immeasurable and deep, to the point of being limitless. There also was worry and fear for both of them. Thor could feel it all via his empathy.
The pain and exhaustion were starting to ease, and it felt like Thor had been given a second wind. The lean arms around him felt like they were starting to weaken, but they kept holding him, nonetheless. The bigger hand in turn kept holding the smaller ones. These small, trembling hands were so cold... Thor wanted to warm them so badly. He was feeling stronger now, whereas Loki, on the contrary, was practically resting against his back in exhaustion, as if... As if he'd given his own power to the older of the two of them, reducing his pain considerably and giving him the strength to keep fighting.
But then Thor noticed that the creature slowly started moving towards them. Its body was jerking. It looked injured, but hunger- or lust-crazed, at the same time. Thor felt like it was staring right through him at Loki, and it looked like it would've given anything and everything to grab the younger of the two humans. Thor wasn't about to let it happen. He felt Loki pressing himself even harder against him in search for protection.
"Loki, we have to get up. Stay behind me and close to me, but not too close. Can you make it?" Thor murmured softly, though he kept watching the creature, ready to fight it any moment now. He felt a nod against the nape of his neck, as Loki's face was still buried in the blond mane.
In no time Thor was on his feet, quickly helping his brother to stand up as well, though his eyes never left their enemy. It really wanted to get Loki. It couldn't even properly focus on the obstacle, which was Thor. The blond, meanwhile, took the sledgehammer in his both hands. But when he swung his heavy weapon, it went right through the creature that suddenly became just a cloud of smoke that was slowly dissipating.
"Stay close to me, Loki!" Thor warned and pressed the smaller body to his own back again by moving one of his arms behind himself blindly. He remained on the alert, focused on their surroundings with the sledgehammer at the ready, once again in his both hands. However, the attack was too quick even for his quick reaction. In mere moments the creature materialised from the cloud of smoke right next to Loki and grabbed the boy's arm right above his elbow and tried to pull him away from his older brother. Loki's bloodcurdling scream of pain and shock sent shivers down Thor's spine, but he reacted with the speed of lightning, and with a furious roar brought the sledgehammer down on the top of the monster's head, putting a great amount of strength into the hit. There was a cracking noise of breaking bones, and it sounded sickening. The force of the hit brought the monster down and it once again dissipated in the air. Its deafening hoarse gasp could be heard everywhere around the two humans. Loki was moaning in pain behind Thor, but the blond couldn't be distracted right now even to comfort his little brother.
The monster appeared once again on the other side of the two youths this time, and tried to grab Loki again. Thor growled and the head of his sledgehammer hit the creature's shoulder before it had a chance to touch Loki. And then it appeared and disappeared again and again, so fast that it didn't give Thor enough time to hit it. At the same time, the blond wasn't letting it anywhere near his brother again. The monster made him move around quite a lot.
Once again, the heavy hammer hit the wall, making the shards of the broken tiles fly in all directions, as the creature had disappeared once more in front of Thor. He was about to go berserk. He growled furiously, trying to hit the monster. But then he subdued his rage a little and started thinking. He knew this kind of opponents. They tried to wear you down or both wear you down and infuriate you, just to find a good moment to hit you so hard that you wouldn't be able to react in time; and then, using your confusion, they would hit you again and again. Thor wasn't going to buy it now. The need to be cautious enough to be able to keep protecting Loki helped the blond man to keep his mind more or less clear. He was used to looking only after himself during a fight, but now it was different; so, no, he couldn't allow himself to go berserk, even if he was very angry. And he, most definitely, was.
It took a more or less calculated swing of the sledgehammer to knock the monster down, as Thor had somewhat figured out the pattern of its appearance and disappearance (or, more accurately, the small signs that preceded its appearances), and when it was material enough to be damaged. When the dark, stooped body was on the floor, Thor, without wasting a moment, started to deliver a blow after a crushing blow of the sledgehammer to make sure it wouldn't get up again. It was wheezing loudly, already wounded too gravely to do anything. It was dying.
Thor only stopped attacking the creature when it had stopped writhing and breathing. Its glowing eye and arms went off slowly. Thor was standing over it, frowning down on it and trying to recover his breath. For a few short moments the monster stirred and reached out its once again slightly glowing hand in Loki's direction, which startled the boy, making him flinch and press himself against Thor even harder. The blond protectively shielded his younger brother with his muscled body. He had been right, thinking that even dying, the creature would've tried to get Loki. The monster's hand fell on the floor and stopped glowing. It was gone.
There was only smoke left of it. It became darker and even more acrid. It started filling the corridor. Thor was soon coughing, as well as Loki next to him. They had to get out of here. Loki tugged him weakly to one of the closed doors. He opened it and they entered another corridor. The smoke followed them, filling everything and choking the two young men that were trying to escape it. Even the door that they had closed behind themselves didn't help to block its path. Eventually, Loki opened another door and Thor noticed his brother's hesitancy before they entered the room. It was the room with the refrigerators, the mortuary; the one where the creature had hurt him. Even now that the monster was dead, he was terrified of this place. Thor wrapped his arm around him soothingly and encouraged him to keep going. It didn't escape the blond's attention that they had entered through the door that hadn't been here before, though when he had been in this room last time, he had thought that this door should've been exactly on this place of the wall.
However, now it wasn't the best time to think about it anyway. The room was barely illuminated (where the hell the dim light was coming from? Why hadn't it been here when Thor had needed it?), but they reached the other door in no time. And then there were several steps up to the double door with the two round windows... Thor didn't look forward to moving up to the roof and dragging Loki there with him, but, fortunately, it wasn't necessary; the corridor of the first floor was no longer blocked, so, escaping the stench of the smoke, they found no obstacles on the way to the main exit of the hospital. Thor's arm was still around his brother, the other one was still holding the sledgehammer, which he had taken with him just in case.
Halfway to the exit Loki was so exhausted that it looked like he was about to collapse. He had given his strength to Thor... Without thinking twice or hardly even stopping at all, the older of the two picked up the smaller youth in his arms, placing the sledgehammer on top of him, and moved to the exit as fast as he could, having the extra weight in his arms. It reminded him of something... But there was no way he could think about it right now. They had to leave this place as soon as possible. They could hardly breathe already.
The half-hearted push of his foot easily opened the entrance doors of the hospital, and Thor was nearly overwhelmed by the freshness of the air outside as he was recovering his breath. The smoke remained inside the building. Even though most things around looked like mirages, and the farther they were, the less real they seemed, this place in front of the hospital was perfectly real. The pale, weak sun was still shining down, just like when Thor had been on the rooftop.
It was over. He had done it, hadn't he? The creature was dead and Loki was safely cradled in his arms. But, suddenly, the feeling of déjà vu hit him like a stream of scalding water down his back. It had happened before... He had carried Loki out of this hospital before. Now he was afraid to look down at his little brother, his mind was suddenly sending him the blurry visions of Loki's naked, hurt, impossibly pale body that Thor was carrying in his arms in the same manner. There was blood... It was on Loki's bruised face, in his hair. Loki was unconscious. Thor's breath hitched in his throat at those images. He just couldn't look down... But then he felt his beloved burden shifting a little in his arms and he looked down automatically. Loki was fine in his arms, looking up at him. Alive and almost unharmed, except for his burnt arm and general exhaustion. He looked shaken up, but the green eyes kept looking up at the older young man with slight curiosity in them. The head of the sledgehammer was lying on his shoulder and the handle was partially on his chest, held by the pale hand. Thor almost chuckled at this image.
There was a feeling of uneasiness when both of them looked back at the building. The ominous, grey, albeit not really thick now, smoke could be seen behind all of the windows of all the floors of the hospital. But it was trapped inside and already dispersing. It was no threat any longer. They were safe.
Thor carefully eased Loki onto the ground, putting the hammer aside. He sat down and wrapped his arms around his younger brother, carefully avoiding his burn. His own burns looked only a little better now, but he could hardly feel any pain. There was some unpleasant tightening in them though, but it didn't bother him. Both young men were sitting on the pavement, and neither of them cared about this fact.
"Thor..." Loki suddenly whispered.
"Yes?" the blond murmured, a little surprised to hear his brother's voice again, though it was definitely a pleasant surprise (for once).
"We... we will never part," the younger of the two said quietly. It sounded more like a question, though. Loki needed a confirmation.
"We won't," Thor replied, agreeing.
"Promise me," Loki whispered. There was a soft demand in his whisper, but behind that was desperation. He needed the answer and, for some reason, it was very important. Thor looked into the wide green eyes that watched him searchingly.
"I swear," he replied firmly enough that his answer appeared to be a given, and he was having no doubt that he was telling the truth.
"I will hold you to that, you know... You can't take it back."
"All right," the blond shrugged, still failing to understand what was going on. But if Loki needed to be reassured, Thor was willing to give it to him.
"Thank you... I love you, Thor," Loki whispered hardly audible. The whisper was like a caress and Thor melted into it. He was sure he heard his brother sighing in relief. But before he could reply, everything was gone...
The awakening was slow. Thor's mind was swimming for a long time, his body, comfortably resting in the warm bed, refused to obey. But, as soon as his mind started working somewhat properly, he realised where he was and what had just happened. His dream was still fresh in his still a little hazy mind. He had saved his dream Loki. Loki from his dream was finally safe... He felt almost ecstatic, but he knew he couldn't allow himself to feel it. That dream had been nothing but some kind of a wish fulfilment that his subconsciousness had given him as an outlet. Loki had been in trouble and Thor saved him, because he was able to do it; because he hated helplessness and inability to fight for what he held dear. Those dreams had given him an illusion that he could help Loki, fight for him, save him... But those were just dreams, no matter how impossibly vivid and realistic they had been. Just an outlet.
The reality was nothing like that. Loki was traumatised beyond imagination, unresponsive, mentally ill... And there was absolutely nothing Thor could do about it. He was helpless... Once they came back from Denmark, his baby brother would be taken away from him. They would stuff him with medication, stick needles into him; they would, most likely, administer electric shock to his brain, as doctor had mentioned during their phone conversation. He'd heard about the way it affected people's minds; sometimes it caused amnesia, erasing memories either before, or after the treatment. For fuck's sake, people used to lose years of memories because of this kind of treatment! And there was no guarantee that it was going to help anything. Plus, he couldn't stop imagining it as something painful, side effects or not, no matter what doctors said. He didn't want to even start imagining the one he loved being subjected to anything like that.
He was going to lose Loki forever, in any case... He just knew it; once they took him away, he would lose him to never have him back... Thor shouldn't feel happy just because he had played a hero in his dreams. In reality he was nothing like that. In reality he was just a grief-stricken, helpless man, who couldn't do a fucking thing to save the one he loved more than he would ever be able to put into words. He was torn between feeling triumphant, guilty for feeling triumphant and overwhelmingly despaired, because the triumph had been caused by something that wasn't real.
He clenched his blanket in his fist and closed his eyes tight. It was madness! His mind was about to break from all the misery he was feeling right now. He could take a lot of pain, but not this one. He couldn't...
But then...
"Thor... Dark..." Barely a whisper, but it was like a bolt from the blue. Thor was wondering if he had finally gone mental or if, at best, the remains of his dream hadn't let go of him yet. But, as no common sense seemed to have left in his head, his body was up in a moment to turn on all the lights in the room. His muscular legs were like leaden and it was a wonder they hadn't failed under him yet. He hadn't been sleeping with any lights on lately, since Loki had stopped caring about anything, including this, and Thor usually preferred sleeping in complete darkness.
With his heart almost becoming still in his chest, Thor turned towards Loki's bed, expecting to see an evidence of his own insanity and finally admit that his mind was lost irretrievably. Loki was sitting on his bed with his face looking down. It proved nothing, because the dark-haired boy could even get up and walk, remaining unresponsive. Thor approached him, sat down onto the edge of his bed and gently took the pale face in his own hands.
"Loki..." he whispered, his heart was stuttering in hope, which he knew was, most likely, a false one. "Look at me," he said quietly. The hazy, green eyes blinked (which still proved nothing) and slowly moved up to meet the blue ones. And that was when Thor finally broke down. With the tears, running down his face he started kissing the confused face of his little brother. He kissed it all over, including the warm, thin lips. Weak and groggy, the younger of the two didn't seem to understand what was going on. His hand was holding onto Thor's t-shirt and it looked like he couldn't decide if he should try to get out of the arms of his overly-affectionate brother, who wasn't giving him a chance to actually understand anything at all.
"You're back... You're back to me." The blond couldn't believe it, so he found it necessary to say it aloud.
Even when his eyes seemed to have stopped being capable of producing any more tears, he didn't let go of Loki. Sometimes he gently took the smooth narrow chin in his hand, lifting the boy's face only to urge his younger brother to look back at him. And Loki did. His green eyes weren't clear, they were rather distant, but he was looking back, making the older of the two tighten his embrace. To Thor it was like Loki's soul had come back into his body after the long months of absence.
"Thor..." He suddenly heard against his shoulder and looked down at the smaller youth. It was still a miracle to hear his voice again.
"Hmm?" He carefully combed his fingers through the dark hair waiting for his brother to say something else. It looked like it was hard for Loki to collect his thoughts enough to say anything conscious.
"I think... I'm hungry," he finally managed to say after some more time and a couple of failed attempts. His words were quiet and not entirely coherent, but it was such a great progress that Thor couldn't hold back a huge, happy smile. He immediately took the phone and ordered Loki's favourite fish dishes and mozzarella. Thankfully, the restaurant of the hotel was open twenty four hours, so the food was delivered pretty soon. Thor would've found a way to get dancing elephants into their room if Loki wanted them.
The blond watched his brother carefully, each little movement. Loki didn't look like he was enjoying the food much. And it looked like it was hard for him to eat and remember how to swallow, probably because he mostly had been fed through the nasogastric tube for quite a long time. At the same time, it was quite possible that his senses weren't properly working yet, which included the sense of taste. Thor's eyes never left him, but the younger of the two didn't seem to care or notice. He had hardly eaten anything at all before putting the fork down.
He still looked like he was 'turning off' sometimes, and Thor felt uneasy every time it happened, afraid that all the significant progress would just be gone with a blink of an eye. He wanted to shake Loki, to force him to stay completely conscious all the time, but he knew it wouldn't be good to push his little brother too hard. Despite the fact that the morning hadn't come yet, Thor picked up his phone and rang Ingibjörg. It took him some time to wake her up and answer the call, and, without explaining anything (he wasn't sure he could), he asked her to come as soon as possible. Probably hearing how nervous he was, the nurse promised to come in about twenty minutes.
He wanted her to examine Loki, knowing that she was capable of doing it, even though she wasn't a doctor, and tell him that his baby brother was back to stay with him (at least this was what he hoped to hear). Since they were far away from the doctor who had been observing Loki, Thor had no other option, and, frankly, he trusted Ingibjörg more than that doctor, no matter how foolish of him it was.
Whilst waiting for her, the blond embraced his brother again and let him rest against his strong body.
"Loki..." he said quietly and waited for his brother to acknowledge him. He addressed Loki once again, as no answer had followed.
"Yes?.." the dark-haired boy murmured, though it had taken him some time to react.
"Do you remember having any dreams lately? Anything strange?" Maybe it was too soon for such questions, but he had to ask.
"...Don't remember... No..." Loki replied softly and sleepily.
"I see..."
A/N: This is quite different from what I'd originally planned to do. The fight with the monster wasn't supposed to end this well. I'll explain myself in one of the next chapters and tell you what I'd planned to do. Yes, there will be more chapters. You didn't think I was going to end it here, did you? ;)
