Chapter 11:
A/N: I just noticed while I was typing up part of the new story I told you about that in chapter 10 I spelt "quit" wrong and actually put "quite"… crap, sorry that's my bad, it was like a stupid moment for me (considering how easy the word is *rolls eyes at self*)
I did a lot of research on AA meetings and found out some interesting information so hopefully this chapter will be as accurate as possible.
Thank you shellydiann, darkphoenix2345, Casismyfavorite, :xPercyx:, bearberry915, and Supernatural Lover D.S.W for the reviews. :)
Thank you Casismyfavorite and bearberry915 for answering my questions. :)
Leave it to Lucifer to find me an AA meeting the very next day after our conversation, and turns out, they're free and no signing up required. The meeting starts at two o'clock so I drive me and Chuck down to the building that it is being held in. Lucifer insisted that I bring 'moral support' but he couldn't go himself, Elijah is in a job interview, and there was no way in hell I was going to bring Dean, so Chuck was the only choice I had left… not that I don't enjoy his company. I even left it up to Lucifer to explain everything to the stuttering mess.
I parallel park a few blocks down the street from the building and Chuck and I have to walk there. By the time we do people are already filing into the building, some looking completely normal and you'd have no clue they even had a problem, and others looking like they just got out of Hell. Both Chuck and I walk in silently, Chuck only making a quick comment about how small the building is.
When you enter the building you walk immediately into a bricked hall with doors strewn on either side. We quickly find the door labeled AA meeting and enter. It's a small room with a door to the left. There are folding chairs placed in a circle, some being already occupied and some not. I swallow nervously. The only good thing is, is if I don't like this group I can just try a different one since you are never tied down to one group.
"Castiel," Chuck gets my attention. "Since this meeting is most likely private I'm going to go wait outside and write a little bit." I nod to him and watch as he exits a room, glancing over his shoulder quickly and telling me good luck.
I sit in one of the chairs and wait nervously for the meeting to start. It's already five minutes pass two but there are still more people coming in. We don't start until fifteen pass two and the woman with the clip board starts to talk. She looks to be in her forties and has a very sweet voice.
"Good afternoon everyone. It's nice to see some familiar faces and some new faces." She looks around the room but doesn't give any hints at who are new and who are regulars. "I would like to start off by saying I'm Yolanda Avis, you may call me Yolanda, and that this is not a religious thing and no matter your beliefs you are always welcome here. We have an hour today so who would like to start?"
A young woman raises her hand and the guide, Yolanda, nods her head to give her permission. "Hello, I'm an alcoholic, I've been sober for two months now." Some people give her praise at her feat. All I wonder is what her name is since she didn't say. "I started drinking because my dad died. One day I got so drunk that I passed out and almost died from alcohol poisoning. That's why I decided to quit but now my mom has just gotten into a car crash and I'm feeling a severe urge to drink again."
"You just be strong." One man said to the nameless woman.
Then another woman, older this time, says, "It gets better."
The woman that spoke gives a smile of appreciation but doesn't say anymore so someone else goes. "I'm Paul, I'm an alcoholic. I have been sober for three years now." The same response and praise happens that went on with the woman with no name. "Um, I've been to multiple AA meeting before, this is my first time to this one. Being sober feels great but I still sometimes have an urge to drink." Paul ends there.
"Very good." She looks to unnamed woman. "Paul. Anybody else?"
I turn to someone who all of a sudden just gets up and leaves, no explanation, no nothing. I turn to everyone else and notice that they don't pay any attention to it so I figure it's okay to just leave.
Two other people speak and I have yet to get the courage I need to be able to talk, though I know Lucifer will be pissed if I don't and I'm a terrible liar when it comes to him. I take a deep breath and open my mouth to say something but someone beats me to the punch line. "My name is Teresa, I'm an alcoholic." I can't help but note that every single person that has spoken have said they're an alcoholic. It makes me feel even more out of place because I don't have an alcohol problem, just a drug problem. We listen in silence as Teresa tells her sob story, boring by the way, and then ends.
Yolanda is the next to speak. "We have twenty minutes left of today's session, we probably have time for one or two more."
I just come out with it then, though I was having an internal battle whether or not I should say my name. Most people did so I figure I should even though it's not required. "I'm Castiel and I'm a drug addict." My heart is racing and it doesn't help with everyone staring at me in confusion. I swallow nervously and look around the circle. I shrink in my chair just a tiny bit. "Um… I started using drugs because-"
One of the group members interrupt me. "Excuse me, Yolanda, I feel as if we are getting off topic."
I stare at the woman that just spoke in confusion and see Yolanda nod. "Okay but that doesn't give you the right to interrupt Castiel." She says softly then turns to me. "Castiel, this group is purely for alcoholism only so if you have a story for your alcohol addiction then please refer to that and not the drugs."
I stare in complete shock. "What?"
"In this group, we only talk about our alcoholism, not drug addiction. Please don't talk about that and instead talk about your alcoholism." She says.
"But…" I'm astounded. "I don't have an alcohol problem, just a drug problem."
Yolanda looks lost for words. "Normally if you have a drug problem you also have an alcohol problem."
"Well not me." I claim which is the truth.
She looks sympathetic which is the exact last thing I need. "Well then, I'm sorry honey, but I don't think this group is for you."
"But…" I trail off feeling slightly insulted. I look around the group who are still staring at me as if I don't belong. I don't like being in the center of attention like this. I look to Yolanda and shake my head to myself. "Fine, I'm sorry to have wasted your time." I get up and reach into my pocket, turning around and making my way to the door. I'm not even to the door yet when I pull out the pill bottle that I snuck into my pocket. I pause at the door and pour the amount of pills to get high into my palm, dry swallowing them and feeling some stick in my throat. Before I go out the door I stuff the bottle back in my pocket and finally leave, not even giving a second glance back. I exit the building and see Chuck sitting on the sidewalk, leaning against the building, writing in his notebook. I whistle to get his attention and throw the keys to him. "You drive." I get into the passenger seat, knowing the pills will be working soon.
We get home in one piece and me high out of my mind. I walk into the house with Chuck giving me suspicious glances. "How was the meeting Angel?" Lucifer's voice comes from the living room and I walk in to see him sitting on the couch, now next to Chuck, watching TV.
"It was great Lucifer." I chuckle uncontrollably.
"I-I think s-something is wrong w-with him." Chuck mentions. I hear Lucifer sigh and watch as he gets up, Chuck following. "D-do you think he's high?"
Lucifer gets right up in my smiling face and grabs my chin, tilting my head up for him to look in my eyes. "Yeah he's high." I laugh at this. "Angel what the hell?"
I rip my chin from Lucifer's grasp and sit on the arm of the couch, feeling light headed. "They kicked me out." Lucifer looks at me confused so I elaborate. "They said the meeting was for alcoholics only," More laughing from me and it takes a while before I settle down to continue. "They practically kicked me out because I started talking about my drug problem and how I'm not an alcoholic."
"Why would they do that?" Chuck asks.
"Oh I don't know Chucky, because they're dicks." I say getting back up and stumbling a little. "I personally hated the people in the group anyway."
"Angel I'm sure they're not 'dicks' just because they wanted to talk about the main problem." Lucifer explains.
I look at him. "Yeah well it's not my main problem. Now if you don't mind, my boyfriend should be out of his interview by now and I would like to see him."
"Which boyfriend?" Lucifer raises one eyebrow in teasing.
"Haha very funny Lucifer." I mock a laugh that throws me into a real one. "Elijah, I'm going to go see Elijah."
Lucifer catches my arm as I turn around. "Ah, I don't think so Angel, not when you're like this."
I pull my arm away. "I won't even drive, I'll walk."
"Angel." Lucifer calls after me but I don't stop. "Do I have to use brute force?"
I turn to the older man and smirk at him. "Maybe." I lean into him and kiss him on the lips. When I pull away I have a wicked grin on my face. "I'll be back later." I walk out the door ignoring Lucifer's confused and shocked look along with Chuck's not so happy expression at me kissing his boyfriend, pretty passionately, on the lips. To tell you the truth, I don't even know why I did it.
I walk to Elijah's apartment and knock three times. The door opens and reveals the man himself. "Castiel, what are you doing here?"
"I wanted to know how the interview went." Elijah steps to the side and lets me in, taking note of my slight staggering.
"It went fine, won't know if I have the job until next week, are you okay?" He asks in concern as I lose my balance and have to catch myself on the wall.
Elijah is immediately at my side, holding me upright. "I'm fine."
He guides me to his couch and sits me down gently. "Are you drunk?" He takes a closer look. "No you're… high?"
"Ding ding ding, you've answered correctly, guess what your prize is?" I say with a wide smile.
He looks really concerned. "So I'm guessing the AA meeting didn't go well."
The room starts to spin so I look to the ceiling. "They only want alcoholics at the one I went to so they kicked me out."
"I'm sorry to hear that," He takes my shoes off. "But you know you shouldn't have gotten high after."
"Why not?" I pull him on top of me when he places my feet on the couch and leans me back. "What's the point of stopping if I can't even get support at an AA meeting?"
Elijah struggles against my hold but my arms are around his torso and I'm holding him tightly. He manages to sit up a little, however, to peer into my eyes. "Because drugs are not the way to go."
I peck his lips. "You sound like Lucifer."
"Speaking of Lucifer, I thought he was going to take all the pills away, throw them all out." He questions.
"He can't get rid of my depression pills and anti-anxiety pills." I mention.
Elijah still looks confused. "But I thought he was going to hide them from you and give the amount you need himself?"
"He's not with me twenty four seven." I kiss his lips tenderly this time but Elijah pulls away.
"Wait a minute, you need rest those pills off." He pushes away again but I hold him to me.
"No I don't." I kiss the top of his nose then his lips again. "We haven't even had sex yet, you and me, how about we do now."
He chuckles and shakes his head no. "I'm not taking advantage of you in this state."
"Oh come on, please? I want it." I beg.
"No Castiel." He pushes harder this time and I let him go, disappointed. "Sleep."
I huff and turn my back to him, closing my eyes. I listen as Elijah twiddles around the apartment but eventually I do fall asleep. I don't know how long I was asleep for but by the time I wake up it's well into the night. I open my eyes and sit up to see Elijah at the kitchen table on his laptop. I get up and sit across from him. "Hi." I say sheepishly.
"You're finally awake." He smiles at me.
"I'm sorry about earlier." I apologize guiltily.
"It's okay as long as you're okay now." He continues to look at me.
"Yeah I'm fine, thanks." I motion to the laptop. "What are you doing?"
He takes a deep breath and sighs. "I am looking up information on AA meetings." I groan in displeasure and he chuckles. "Don't worry I'm not looking for another meeting for you, I'm sure Lucifer would like to do that but," How did I know there was going to be 'but'? "I found out that a lot of AA meetings are only for alcoholics, the abbreviation standing for Alcoholism Anonymous."
I look at him confused. "Okay, how is this supposed to help me?"
He smiles. "You shouldn't be going to AA meetings, what you should be going to is NA meetings." I tilt my head in confusion. "Narcotics Anonymous." He clarifies. "In NA meetings you can talk about any addiction, whether it be drug addiction or alcohol addiction."
"Okay but is there any around here?" I ask.
Elijah nods. "Surprisingly, yes. There are actually a lot of NA meetings around here. I'm already printing you the information to give to Lucifer and a list of meetings that are available in the next week."
I smile at him and get up, walking around the table. I lean down and kiss him passionately on the lips. "Thank you." I say when we separate.
"Anytime." He kisses me back. "It's late do you just want to sleep here?"
"That depends." I kiss him again. "Do we get to have sex?"
Elijah rolls his eyes but smiles at me. "No." I frown. "Castiel, I would feel very weird having sex with you after you were just high on my couch. I want to make sure it's all out of your system before then, that way I'm not taking advantage of you at all."
I sigh and peck his lips in disappointment. "Okay, I'll take the couch then."
"I'll get you some blankets." He gets up and walks away as I settle myself back on the couch.
As he returns I help him with the blankets then lie down, pulling him down with me. "Will you just lie here with me for a minute?"
He rests his head on my chest. "Sure."
I kiss the top of his head then close my eyes, holding the man in my arms tight.
A/N: Sorry no Dean in this chapter.
So I'm going to be posting the prologue and chapter one of my new story immediately after I post this chapter so anyone who wants to read it please do. It's called Rings of Conviction.
Thank you. :)
