I had been avoiding Sirius and the others for over a week now. Sirius had given up trying to talk to me after a few days. Though, on those few occasions when our eyes meet, his have a sad remorseful look in them. But those occasions are rare because most of the time, I just see Sally sending a glare my way when I let my gaze fall on the marauders. I got over our little argument ages ago, but apparently, she hadn't.
I sat on my bed, reading a book. Avery had a group study session today and I didn't feel like joining in. There was a quidditch practice going on right now so I had the dorm to myself. I looked up at the sound of the door opening and felt myself tense up.
"Moony?" It was James. I felt slightly better. At least it wasn't Sirius. I don't know how I'd handle a confrontation with him.
"Prongs? What are you doing here?"
"Practice was cancelled because it was raining too hard. I'm surprised to see you here." James went over to his bed and started changing into dry clothes.
"I felt like coming up here and spending some time by myself. Where's everyone?"
"Sally asked Sirius to follow him somwhere and Peter went down to the kitchen for a snack. Lily's got a project or something to work on, so I came up here."
"Oh, okay," I tried to go back to my book, but I found myself reading the same line over and over. James was sitting on his bed, just watching me.
"I didn't tell him, you know," James said after a while.
"I've been meaning to ask you about that." I marked my spot in the book and put it down. "Why haven't you?"
"It's not my secret to tell," James shrugged. "I was thinking about it, and I guess now I know why your relationship with Sirius is all messed up. I was thinking about telling him, but I couldn't do that to you."
"Sirius is your best friend,"
"So are you, Moony. There's a reason you don't want Sirius to know. And if I were in your position, I woulnd't tell him either."
"Thank you, James." I turned away from him. I didn't want him to see my eyes tearing up.
"You know he's really torn up that you're not talking to him,"
"He's get over it," I felt the bed sink down a little and saw James sitting next to me now.
"No he won't. You know Sirius, he's one of the most stubborn people in the world. He won't stop sulking until you talk to him again."
"But it hurts just being around him." I felt my eyes burning again. Why was I so emotional today? "It was bad enough before he had a girlfriend, but now it's just…" I couldn't find the words to describe it but James understood what I was trying to say.
James put his arms around my shoulders and I leaned against him. This felt awkward for the both of us; we weren't exactly the hugging kind of friends. I wasn't sure what happened, but the warm feeling of James' arms around me did something to me. One minute, I was awkwardly hugging him back, and then the next minute, I was crying hard into his shoulder. James rubbed circles around my back and muttered comforting words into my ears. After a while, I pulled back and wiped my eyes. That was the closest James and I had ever been.
"Sorry about your shirt," I mumbled, blushing slightly. There was a huge wet spot on the shoulder I had been crying.
"Don't worry about it," James gave me one of his goofy grins and I smiled back. He pulled meinto another hug that I happily returned. It didn't feel so odd this time. I heard a loud slam and James and I pulled away. We both turned to the door and saw Sirius giving us a strange look.
"What's wrong with you, Padfoot?" James asked. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"Sorry," Sirius grumbled. He stalked over to his bed and sat down, his arms crossed in front of him. James raised an eyebrow and walked over to his bed and sat next to him. I pulled the curtains around my bed slightly and took my book back.
"What's wrong?" James repeated.
"I broke up with Sally," I was just about to put a silencing spell around my bed but Sirius's answer stopped me. I wanted to hear more.
"What? Why? I thought you really liked her?" James asked. I saw him glance in my direction through the gap in the curtains and kept my face buried in the book. They must have thought I put up a silencing spell like I usually did.
"She's been different lately," Sirius shrugged. "She keeps going on about how all I do is sulk and whine and not pay attention to her."
"Well, you have been sulking around a lot lately," James teased lightly.
"I told her I was just upset because Moony was mad at me, then she starts another one of her rants about how much she doesn't like him. I know they had an argument, but you think she'd let it go by now. It's been weeks!"
"I still find it hard to believe that Moony would get into an argument with her, or anyone for that matter. I didn't even think he was capable of raising his voice at anyone." James laughed and I found myself blushing. I didn't mean to shout at Sally,I just sort of snapped.
"Me, too," Sirius laughed along with James. "I thought she was exaggerating until I asked those Ravenclaws." The two laughed a little more about my argument with Sally while I sat on my bed and tried to ignore my burning cheeks.
"So how are you? You just broke up with the only girl you've ever loved; that can't be easy," James said softly.
"To be honest, I'm not all that affected by it. I was expecting to feel sad or something, even just a little, but I'm not. And honestly, I'm actually happy I don't have to be with her anymore. She's fun and all, but after a while, it just wasn't the same anymore."
"What do you mean?"
"The first couple of weeks it was fun, you know? But then afterwards I just felt different. I didn't want to snog her or be around her as much as I wanted to."
"I thought you really liked her? You spent all your time with her." I was glad that James asked that because I was wondering the same thing.
"I did like her. But not so much in a romantic sense anymore. I thought I loved her, but then I started feeling different. The feeling just went away. But she was always insisting that we spend time together and she got mad when I didn't hang out with her and made a big fuss about everything, so I spent all my time with her just so she wouldn't get upset."
"Oh, I see,"
Sirius didn't really love Sally? I couldn't stop the grin from coming on my face. I may never have him, but at least I don't have to see Sally falling all over him all of the time now.
"Prongs, why is your shirt wet?" Sirius asked. Shit, I almost forgot about that. I wonder what James will tell him?
"Oh, that's nothing."
"Nothing my ass, Prongs. What happened there?"
"Moony was a little upset earlier, so I comforted him. He, err, kinda needed a shoulder to cry on."
"So that's why you guys were hugging earlier." Sirius said more to himself than anything else. "Why was he upset?"
"He's just going through a rough time is all, nothing to worry about. Have you seen Lily?" I rolled my eyes at James's obvious attemp to change the subject.
"No, I haven't. Now, what's wrong with Remmy? I know he's upset with me right now, but that isn't going to stop me from caring about him." I felt my eyes widen. Sirius still cares about me? Even if I've been ignoring him for so long now?
"It's not my place to tell, Pads," James said softly.
"You don't have to tell me everything," Sirius insisted. "I just want to know what's upsetting him. Maybe if I help he'll forgive me."
"He's uh, going through some relationship trouble." James answered after a while.
"That boyfriend of his isn't hurting him or anything, is he?" I heard the protectiveness in Sirius's voice… Wait a minute, boyfrend? What boyfriend?
"Boyfriend? Moony doesn't a have a boyfried, Sirius."
"Yes he does! That Avery guy. I saw them snogging outside the common room one night."
The only time Avery and I were 'snogging outside the common room' was when he kissed me goodnight after our first and only date. Sirius saw that? But, there was no one around at the time, I'm pretty sure of it.
"Oh, that guy, they're just friends. I wondered the same thing , too, but Lily told me."
"Friends? Friends don't just snog each other, Prongs. Otherwise, you and I would be snogging right now."
"Eww!" I tried not to laugh at the expression on James's face. James made it very clear that he was perfectly find with homosexuality, as long as they didn't try anything on me.
"You know what I mean," Sirius laughed.
"I know they went on a date once, but it didn't work out so they decided to just stay friends. Or, that's what Lily said." James shrugged.
"So Remmy doesn't have a boyfriend?"
"No, he doesn't."
"Hey guys!" the door opened and Peter walked in with some cupcakes in his hands. He offered some to James and Sirius who took them. "Sirius, why is Sally telling everyone you broke up with her?"
"Because I did," Sirius said through a mouthful of food. "I should have known she'll tell the whole school."
"You know, with what she's been teling everyone, I doubt any of the girls will go out with you for a while," Peter moved to sit on his bed.
"Then I'll just move on to the guys," Sirius shrugged. "The girls are getting boring anyway."
I felt myself choking on air. Did sirius just say he was going to date guys now?
"What?" James seemed just as shocked as I was. "Since when were you into guys? I thought you were straight?"
"I never really thought about it, actually," Sirius shrugged. "I've never tried being with a guy before, and I must admit, I'm curious. I never even considered it until Moony told us he was gay. Then it had me wondering. I still like girls though. Hmm, I'm not sure what that means."
"Maybe it means that you're bi?" Peter suggested.
"Maybe?" Siriu shrugged, finishing off his cupcake.
"Hey, is Moony in the room?" Peter asked, looking in my direction. I knew he couldn't see me because the curtains were drawn and the gap in the curtains wasn't facing him. I saw James and Sirius nod. "Then why are we talking about him like he isn't here?"
"He put a silencing spell up as soon as I walked in," Sirius answered gloomily. The three finished off the rest of the cupcakes and went down to the common room.
I stared down at the forgotten book in my lap. I wasn't up for reading it anymore. I had too much on my mind. Sirius was possibly bi. Did this mean that I had a chance?
So how was it? Sorry it took a while. FanFiction wouldn't let me upload this .
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