Clary blinked her eyes warily as her vision gradually had come back into focus, making her scowl with annoyance. " I forgot the rather minor side effects of coming here after so long." She grumbled to herself before she looked around the apartment whilst listening out for any indications that someone was here.
She found it kind of eerie that it was too quiet. That couldn't be a good sign. As she started to walk around she noticed that nothing had changed must since the last time she had been brought here. That had been ages ago when she was so much younger, and that time she was with her father and Jonathan…
The mere mention of her brother had her coming back to the matter at hand. She walked over towards the stairs, taking a deep breath as she willed herself to stay calm. "Jonathan? Are you here?" She announced loudly as she took her time going up the steps.
A frown settled upon her face when she didn't hear a respond. She went on to check every room, finding them all relatively empty, but when she opened the master bedroom there were telltale signs that someone was living here. And by someone she meant Jonathan. She recalled that he could never keep his room clean. She used to find that funny, but now wasn't the time to recall such memories.
With a sigh she made her way back downstairs, knowing that he would return at some point. And she actually thought that maybe it was better that he wasn't here at the moment. It would allow her to think of what to even say to him.
She still couldn't wrap her head around the accusations her mother had voiced pretty heavily the last time she saw her. Those thoughts were put aside when her stomach rumbled, making her recall that the last time she had eaten she was interrupted and hadn't eaten enough. With a shrug of her shoulder she made her way towards the kitchen, hoping that Jonathan had restocked the fridge and pantry. And to her surprise he actually had.
~~
Not too long after she had satisfied her appetite she went back upstairs since he still hadn't arrived back, allowing her to enter his room freely. She scooted aside the dirty clothes that littered the floor with her shoes every now and then as she tried to find any piece of evidence that he may have left out in the open. She was just beginning to open a drawer when she heard the subtle creak of a floorboard coming from behind her, making her whirl around to face her company.
Jonathan stood in the doorway of the room, arms crossed over his chest as he quirked a brow in a questioning manner. "Why, hello there, Clary... May I ask why you are snooping through my belongings?"
Jeez, good job, Clary. You had one task, and you failed miserably. And you're supposed to be one of the greatest shadowhunters. Apparently not. She inwardly mumbled to herself out of annoyance that he had been able to sneak up on her. There was no way that she was going to back down even though he had caught her off guard. She set her jaw in a stubborn stance, making sure to hold his gaze as she stood her ground. "I think it's time for me to ask questions instead. For starters… Why did you attack our mother the other night?"
Jonathan was unfazed by her question, releasing an irritable sigh in response of the mention of Jocelyn. "She is your mother. Not mine. She lost the right to that title when she abandoned me before I had even turned a year old." He retorted in a cold tone.
Clary was taken aback when she heard him confess to what he had done along with shocking her with the venomous lilt that was carried in his words. "She is still your mother no matter what. We don't know the full extent of why she did what she did, but you still didn't have the right to attack her for no apparent reason."
Jonathan tsked as he took a step into the room, ebony hues blazing with a fiery glint to them. "Oh, I had the right to do what I did. She's lucky that I merely left her unconscious only because I know you care for her, but I must admit that the look on her face when she saw me was priceless. It was as if she'd seen a ghost."
Clary took a step back, bumping into the bedside table in the process. "I don't even know who you are anymore. This person in front of me right now isn't you." She extended her arm out to make a motion along his entire form with her hand for further emphasis.
Jonathan took a few more steps towards her until he was close enough to feel the subtle warmth of her body, and having to peer down at her with a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I'm the same as I've ever been, but by your current attitude towards me, I now know that Jocelyn has said something about me that's made you think differently of me. What exactly did she tell you?" He inclined his head to the side in an absent-minded manner as he waited to hear what she had to say.
Clary sucked in a breath when there was barely any gap between them, making her bite the inside of her lip to keep herself focused. "She told me that you managed to steal the Mortal Cup, and that you were going to use it for terrible things like our father supposedly intended to do. Please tell me that what she said isn't true." Her last words nearly came out as a plea as she was on the verge of her breaking point.
Jonathan noticed the subtle change in her facial expression along with her tone. It took all of his restraint to not reach out and caress her cheek in order to comfort her. He knew deep down inside that he couldn't allow himself to comfort her because that would make him seem weak, and right now with what he was planning on doing he couldn't afford to be weak so instead he clenched his fists at his sides in order to keep himself from touching her, but he allowed his voice to soften just a bit. "What she said was correct. I have the Mortal Cup, and I am going to fulfill father's dying wish of giving the world the cleanse it so desperately needs."
Clary gasped aloud upon hearing his answer as her head was spinning in response to just the slight amount of information he had disclosed to her. She didn't want to come to terms with him being the villain that her mother was making him out to be. "No. This can't be. Jonathan, whatever you are planning to do you need to stop! I don't know what I would do if the Clave got hold of you once they find out what you've taken. I can't bear the thought of losing you. So, please stop this nonsense for me, and forgot whatever father instilled in you about this insane plan of yours." She had to look away to not allow him to see the way her verdant hues were now glistening. She hated being so weak in front of people, especially the one she had always held on a pedestal.
A pang of sadness hit him so hard in the chest when he saw that she was on the verge of tears over him. Instead of caring about her wellbeing she was worried about what would happen to him. Oh, his sweet sister was going to be the death of him. With a sigh he reluctantly found himself cupping her face in his hands to make her look at him. "Don't waste tears or worry over me. And as for your request… It's far too late to stop now when too many things are now in motion. Except one important thing."
Clary meet his gaze unwillingly, his last words having caught her curiosity even under these circumstances. "What would that important thing be?"
Jonathan smirked in a malignant way before he spoke in a amused manner since she hadn't known the answer. "It's you of course."
Clary blinked. "What do I have to do with all of this? I want no part in what you or father were planning on doing."
"Don't you want to know what I'm doing?" His eyes shone with sudden excitement.
Clary shook her head even though she was silently wondering just what he needed to do in order to start his so-called cleanse that he had hinted at earlier, but she didn't want to show interest in case he'd take that as acceptance from her end. "No, I don't."
Jonathan chuckled as his fingers traveled down her cheeks and continued down until his hands could rest against her shoulders. "You forget that I know you so well, and know that deep down you are curious, and against my better judgment I'm willing to tell you if you give me the chance to."
Clary knew she shouldn't agree, but if he was going to disclose some important information to her then she knew she couldn't pass up the opportunity. She had people to protect, and that's how she found herself nodding in answer to his offer.
Jonathan smirked furthermore as he stepped back from her, holding out a hand for her to take hold of. "Let's get a little more comfortable before we start."
~~
Getting comfortable consisted of them being seated across from one another at the dining room table whilst Jonathan had arranged an array of snacks and choices of beverages for them both.
Much to her annoyance he didn't want to start to speak until she had helped herself to what he had prepared for them. With a roll of her eyes she grabbed a plate, placing crackers, cheese, and prosciutto onto it along with grapes. She then settled upon a sparkling flavored water at last minute then made a point to meet his gaze, stifling the urge to huff as she stacked a piece of cheese on top of cracker and took a bite of it. "Are you satisfied now?"
Jonathan arched a brow as he watched her theatrical performance before he laughed softly. "Yes, I am." He took a sip of wine that he had just poured himself, letting the bitter taste settle in his mouth before he set the glass back down. "As you're well aware of, I have taken possession of the Mortal Cup, and plan on using it in the meantime until I can get hold of something better to use for what I truly need to make my plan successful." He paused a moment to give her a moment to think as he started to snack on some food.
Clary nodded her head as she finished taking a sip of her drink to wash down the food she had been eating as he spoke before she drummed her fingers against the table in a nervous manner as she was about to speak even though her mind was reeling with this sudden information. "What exactly did our father brainwash you into doing?"
"He didn't brainwash me into doing anything. At a young age he enlightened me about what was truly happening all around us that was being ignored. I knew that what he was planning on doing would help us to rebuild our fellow shadowhunters back to the most valued ones on Earth as we once were." He paused a moment to let his words sink in before he decided he might as well let her in on what had been happening behind closed doors as well. "Father didn't want to bring you into this because of a stupid promise he had made with your mother when he went to retrieve you from her. I thought you would be able to handle it, but no matter how much he saw you excelling in almost everything that was thrown at you, he still viewed you as the innocent little girl you had been when he first met you. And that is why one day he decided that he was going to send you away." His hands clenched into fists as he had begun to replay that moment in his head.
Clary was staring at him wide eyed as she listened so closely to everything that he was telling her. His words had shocked her to her very core, and what made it worse was witnessing the anger that had begun to fill him that caused him to stop speaking as if what he was going to say next physically pained him, making her only imagine the worst of things. "Go on, Jonathan. I can handle it."
He pinched his eyes shut for a second, releasing the breath he didn't know he was holding before his words tumbled out almost on their own accord with a tinge of anguish laced in them. "As you recall… I was with him during his very last mission, but before we were to leave he said that once we returned home that I had to say my goodbyes to you because he was going to send you back to your mother until he could come back for you when the time was right. He thought that she would keep you safe for him when he was going to finally put his plan into play. I couldn't picture not having you around me anymore, so that day when we were suddenly surrounded by too many demons to count, and father had been taken down... I didn't help him. Instead I left him to die, and only returned to make sure he was truly gone before I came back home and had his death reported." He risked a glance at her direction as his nails dug into the palms of his hands, causing him to stifle the urge to hiss when he felt his nails break into his skin as he knew that this secret could unravel everything they had together.
Clary gasped aloud, placing her hand over her mouth as she looked at him in complete horror. She couldn't believe what he had just said. He actually left their father to die. The man that raised them both. She felt physically sick as she pictured that moment in her head, but she forced herself to speak in a hushed tone. "Jonathan… H-how could you do such a terrible thing?"
He uncurled his hands that were resting in his lap in order to wipe the blood against his trousers, giving him time to compose himself. And before he realized it he had suddenly found himself scoffing. "Oh, please. Don't act like you cared so much for him. He wasn't a loveable father, and he tortured us both for years on end. I know you saw him whip me after I had protected you from receiving that beating that would have been yours. So, dear sister are you really going to sit there and try to lie even to yourself that you actually cared about him? After everything he put us both through?"
She nearly flinched when she remembered the day he mentioned so clearly, and how his cries had haunted her even till this day. She averted her gaze and it had then taken all of her willpower to not break her composure under his stare that was practically burning into her when she had stayed quiet for so long. What was worse was that even though he basically told her that he had left their father to die, she didn't feel any different over his death. Because like he had stated earlier, they had both suffered so much by his hands, and it wasn't until now that she could finally admit to herself that she had felt relieved that he was gone, and she never had to worry about being punished ever again. With that revelation she knew that she was just as much of a monster as the other two Morgenstern men. It made her even more sick when she knew she had the same darkness inside her as they both seemed to have.
"Clary, would you kindly say something!" Jonathan retorted a little impatiently as it was driving him almost mad that she had kept quiet for too long, making him assume that she wanted nothing to do with him anymore after what was said.
Clary reluctantly glanced at him, attempting to bottle up all of her emotions to dwell upon later because now she needed to be strong and get to the real situation at hand and not waste time discussing the past. "No matter what happened he was our father. I just wish that I had noticed when he started to manipulate you… For that I'm so sorry." She held up a finger to silence him when she saw him start to say something. "That's in the past now. I want to focus on what we sat down here to discuss instead."
A feeling of relief washed over him as it appeared that she wasn't as unsettled as he thought she was, making him lean forward as he rested his elbows onto the table in an almost eager manner since she was giving all of her attention to him once again. "The Clave has turned into such a disgrace since they've allowed themselves to be easily tainted by the likes of all downworlders. With that being said I want our beloved Idris to be free of the vile influence of all degenerate beings, and Earth to be remade with the promise of being sheltered from demonic forces forever under my rule."
Clary nearly flinched when she heard him say 'downworlders' with such disgust, but that was momentarily forgotten when she now fully understood what he was hinting at. "So, what you're saying is that you're going to kill everyone, just because they allowed themselves to be /tainted/ by downworlders?" She inquired in disbelief.
Jonathan thought over how she had just phrased what he disclosed to her before he nodded his head once. "Basically yes, but if anyone should bow down to me, and abide by my rules then they will be free to live and stand by my side under my protection." He had to make sure not to tell her that the people who gave themselves up to him wouldn't technically be free do as they pleased. He had plans for them. That mere thought almost had him smirking, but he refrained from doing so and managed to keep a blank expression as to not tip her off.
Clary took her time studying his features, knowing deep down that she couldn't believe anything that he was saying since he had been keeping all of this a secret for so long. Anger started to course through her as she relived the betrayal she had felt when she first learned of his current actions that had caused him to almost harm her mother in the process, allowing her to use that feeling to keep her mind clear and not let her feelings for him to get the best of her. "Well, by all means I guess you should go on and get rid of me then. I'm one of the tainted that you speak of." She said through gritted teeth as she clenched her hands against her lap.
Jonathan sucked in a breath when she was basically telling him to end her life right this instant. "How could you think that I'd ever lay a hand on you?"
"Because I happen to care about one particular downworlder, and that's not going to change any time soon. So, you might as well get on with it." At this point she was seething and before she knew what she was doing she had already removed a dagger from its sheath that she had concealed on her, holding it out to him with the hilt of it in his direction.
Jonathan's hand trembled as he clenched his teeth whilst he happened to recognize the kindjal that she was handing to him. It was one of the Morgenstern's daggers, and this particular one had been gifted to Clary whilst he had the twin of it back at their family home. He narrowed his eyes into slits, slamming his hand down onto the table with such force that caused everything on the table to almost scatter everywhere as he blatantly ignored the weapon in her hand. "I believe it's Lucian that you're referring to. Father never should have allowed him to live, and I'll be damned if I let that downworlder be the reason that you would turn your back on me. Can't you see that I'm doing this for the both of us? I know you probably won't believe me right now, but I love you. I always will. Now stop being so stubborn and join me. You will rule by my side, and I will gladly do anything you ask of me for when we start this new life together." He was breathing so hard as he was slowly being filled with rage. He attempted to take in deep breaths to calm himself down because his demon half was getting the better of him, and he didn't want to succumb to it in front of Clary. He didn't want to harm her.
Clary jumped in her seat, almost dropping the dagger onto the table when he slammed his hand down onto the table so hard and had raised his voice at her. She gripped the dagger tighter as to not allow him to see her hand shaking so badly out of fear. She slowly placed the dagger back in its sheath as she willed herself to stay strong, but it was difficult to do so when this was the first time she'd witness him so angry. Of course throughout their times together he had some outbursts due to their little arguments or when he protected her from their father, but this time was way different. Once she was sure she could speak in a calmly manner she cleared her throat, shifting her gaze back onto his. "I don't believe that you love me. I did once, but not now after you've kept so much from me… I don't know what is real anymore. Was everything that we shared together a lie?" Even she heard her voice crack, making her look down at her hands that rested on her lap as she squeezed her eyes shut to not allow the tears to escape her eyes.
Jonathan felt a part of him break inside when he heard the uncertainty in her voice when she spoke about all of the times they had shared together and his profound love for her. Before he could talk himself out of doing something he'd regret he had already pushed his chair back and gotten up to rush over to her side. He dropped to his knees in front of her, tugging her chair to face him before he held her face in his hands for the second time that day. "Clary, look at me."
She kept her eyes closed even after she heard his movements, yelping softly in surprise when he positioned her chair to face him. She then fought back a gasp when out of nowhere she felt the heat of his palms caressing her cheeks, but when she heard the gentle caress of his voice she opened her eyes, ignoring the tears that filled them immediately when she saw the look of distraught upon his face. "Just tell me the truth. I can't be lied to anymore."
Jonathan never felt so many emotions ever in his life until she had finally made her appearance in his life. Whatever humanity was left in him stayed because of her. She was his rock. Without her by his side he knew that he'd lose himself to his demon half forever. With that final thought in mind he shut his eyes for a brief moment before he held her gaze again. "Every single moment between us was one hundred percent true. I've cared for you ever since the first moment I laid eyes on you. It's you who keeps me grounded when I start to lose myself to the darkness that's inside of me. It's you who opened my eyes to some of the beauty in the world that I never paid attention to. It's you who I can trust with my life. And it's only been you who I've ever truly loved. Can't you see that?" His tone had an edge of desperation to it as he poured his feelings out to her.
Clary didn't fight back the tears as they flowed freely down her cheeks that clouded her vision and before she could stop herself she threw her arms around his neck, burying her face against his shoulder. "Oh, Jonathan!" She cried as she let herself forget their current predicament. This was the person that knew her better than anyone else. The one who believed that she could be more than what anyone expected of her because of her father's mistakes in the past. And most of all... He was the only one who could fully understand her, and if this were to be their last moment together she wanted to make it worth it.
His eyes had scanned her face in a frantic manner when he saw so many emotions cross over her features, and before he could prepare himself from her sudden assault she was now against him whilst she was crying her heart out. His eyes widened in shock briefly before he recovered quickly, wrapping his arms around her as he held her tightly against him. He murmured soothing words in her ear as he held her until she was done crying. Only then did he pull her away from him, wiping her face free from all of her tears. "Do you believe me now? Will you stay with me?"
Clary couldn't find it in herself to be ashamed for crying and letting her walls down in front of him after she knew in her heart and soul that he was telling her the truth. It was that feeling alone that was going to either hurt or end up killing her when she had to make her decision. She waited until after he was done fretting over her to peer up at him with a look of determination upon her features. "I have made up my mind." She said in a hushed tone, knowing he heard her well.
"What have you decided?" Jonathan tensed up ever so slightly as his hands gripped her arms whilst he waited anxiously for her answer.
