"I just don't know if it's okay to have those two in the house, Theodora! Not if they're together, finally."
"And why ever not, dear?" said Mrs. Potter through the door. "Don't you believe in love?"
"Sweetheart, you know I do," Mr. Potter sighed through the door, "but you've been watching those two as long as I have. They don't. I know they're in love with each other, but I don't think they really do, and the second Sirius cheats on her, or dumps her, or the second she decides she's found a better plaything, hell will break loose between them, and I'm not sure if you've realized this yet, but once she's disowned, they're both living here!"
Samantha frowned. Plaything? What sort of person was she? James gave her a sad look, as though apologizing for his father's harsh words.
"How dare you. Did you not just see your second son's hurt as he rushed out of the room? Maybe you didn't notice, but I guarantee you he was crying. That boy has had a lot of people not put their faith in him for a long time. Don't you start!"
There was a pause and a heavy sigh.
"I really screwed it up, didn't I, Theodora? I just thought that if I found a way to stop it before it got going then they wouldn't hurt each other and things could go back to how they were…"
"Before Samantha's accident? Do you really want that? She's a different girl now, you've said it yourself, dear. I think that's the very reason they'll be able to work things out! I think Sirius is what he is because she was what she was, and now that is over and they're both changing for the better because of it! In a lot of ways, I think this accident was one of the best things that ever happened to any of them."
"Except Remus."
"Well, that boy knew when he and Samantha started dating they wouldn't stay together. He always thought she'd marry Sirius, though I think it was more because he figured she had to. Yes, he's hurt, but I think he would have been more hurt if it had lasted longer, or if he had found out about all the things she had done behind his back. Now he'll never find out and it will be okay, better than it would have been."
There was a heavy sigh.
"Well, I suppose there's no use worrying about it until Sirius gets back," mumbled Mr. Potter. "I'll just apologize then, if he'll accept it."
"You know he will."
"I know."
James grabbed Samantha's arm and dragged her into the library, pulling two random books off the shelf, handing her one, forcing her down into a chair, and flipping it open to a random page before positioning himself in a similar way across the table from her.
"Why–?"
"Shut up and fake read, sis," growled James, and she did as she was told. The book was a rather boring pureblood genealogy, anyway. Less than three minutes later, Mrs. Potter came marching into the library and smiling what looked like a very forced smile.
"I'm off to my luncheon," she said. "Don't ruin the house while I'm away. Your father is going to be doing some gardening for me while I'm gone. Please don't pester him."
"Got it, Mum," said James with an equally fake smile. "Come back with lots of stories!"
"Oh, you know I will!" she said with a chuckle as she turned and left the room, closing the door behind her.
There was an awkward silence as Samantha and James set their books down on the large table and just looked at each other. Then James smiled sadly, shook his head and said, "This almost feels the way it used to."
"What do you mean?" said Samantha, although she had a pretty good idea what he was referring to.
"We used to do this, although back then it was your idea," said James with a faraway look in his eyes. "We would listen in on our parents, and sometimes just mine, and then when we'd heard all that was interesting, or when they were wrapping up the conversation, we'd rush to the library or the garden or Sirius's room or anywhere we could think of and pretend we'd been there the whole time and hadn't heard a thing."
"Did we ever get caught?" she said softly.
James shrugged.
"We might have once or twice, I don't know. I think Mum always knew, even when she didn't say anything. She's very perceptive."
"I'd noticed," muttered Samantha, glancing down at the book James had grabbed off the shelf for her. "I'm sorry I wasn't a very good partner in crime this time."
There was an awkward pause, then James sighed heavily and said, "Do you love him?"
Samantha blinked.
"What?"
"Do you love Sirius?" he said firmly. "I have to know."
"I-I don't know, James," she said truthfully. "I've never been in love before, and I'm not sure how it's supposed to feel."
"Well what do you feel?" he said, aggravated.
She blinked again, tilting her head and considering.
"I feel safe, and cared for, and whole. I feel like I belong, and that he'd never let me go. He treats me like Remus did, but I guess this time I feel… something else. Something that wasn't there before. And when I try not to be around him, I don't feel right."
James just stared at her for a moment before nodding.
"That's how I feel about Lily. Sort of. But… I don't know, Sam, Remus really loved you and I don't know how okay I can be with this whole thing. But I promise I'll try, if you really love him. If you two really love each other. But, promise me you won't make this hard on Remus."
"I never wanted to hurt him, James," said Samantha. "The old me might not have cared, but I do care about Remus. He's a wonderful guy and he deserves someone who loves him."
"I know," said James. "You know, you are like your old self, as much as you might think you're not."
"I-I am?" said Samantha, confused.
He nodded and said, "They're just telling you about the wrong time period. You're just like you used to be when we were kids, before we went to Hogwarts, when it was just you, me and Sirius. Mostly you and Sirius, of course. You were so sweet and caring. They hadn't taught you to be a calculating, conniving bitch yet. And you hadn't been told that your life had been decided for you already, so you weren't a bitter anti-authoritarian yet, either. You were just this sweet little girl who put up with our teasing and helped us catch frogs in the back yard, and cried when I pushed you down." He laughed softly. "And we teased you mercilessly. Sirius suspected for years that was why you were always so eager to pick on Snivellus with us. You were just glad we were picking on someone else. But I guess that changed with the fall."
"You took things too far," she said with a small shrug. "I know how it feels to be humiliated, and it's not fun."
James blinked.
"Do you?"
She panicked for a moment. Would he figure out something was up?
"I mean, I didn't think you remembered anything. Maybe you're getting it back?"
Samantha looked at his excited face and couldn't let him down.
"I – I don't know, maybe. Nothing specific. I don't know."
James nodded and tried not to look too eager, but then he said, "I'm sorry if you felt that way. We only teased you a little bit, and only because Sirius liked you so much, although he never admitted it at the time. I caught him asking you to marry him once, when we were eight. He was so excited when you said yes, and then ran to tell our parents. They just laughed. You were so mad when they finally told you that you were marrying him because of a deal made when you weren't even old enough to say your own name. I thought his heart broke when you turned rebellious and pushed him away just for spite."
She blinked at him. Story time with James?
"I know I'm not an expert at love." He laughed sheepishly and ran his fingers through his hair. "Merlin knows I've failed at all my endeavors, but I've known Sirius loved you from the moment I understood what the word meant. Most people think of their parents when they look for an example, but I thought of you two instantly. I just never thought you two would ever grow up enough to figure it out."
They stared at each other for what felt like an hour, neither saying a word. Then, the rose together and went to the study, playing wizards chess until someone came home, anyone. Several hours later, the sound of a motor vehicle pulling into the front yard could be heard, and Samantha knocked her king over, forfeiting a game she was being pummeled at anyway, rushing to meet Sirius at the door.
As soon as the door opened and he had set his keys down she rushed into his arms, and he hugged her tightly, but he didn't kiss her, he didn't say anything. He let go of her far too quickly and he stalked off to his room. Samantha frowned. Had she done something wrong?
James was standing at the entrance to the foyer, looking down the hall after Sirius and leaning against the wall with a frown on his face. Samantha could have hit herself with how pathetic she sounded when she said, "Did I upset him?"
With a sigh, James shook his head.
"No, Sam, none of this is your fault. James is just being a stupid, selfish prat."
James turned and went back to the study, but Samantha didn't follow him. She wasn't sure if Sirius wanted her to come after him, but if she had behaved that way, that's exactly what she would have wanted him to do.
She knocked on his door and let herself in without waiting for his response. Sirius was sprawled out on his bed, ripping parchment to shreds and crying. It felt strange to see Sirius cry, but there he was, his eyes filled with tears over the shredded parchment in his hands. His gray eyes…
"Sirius?" she said softly, pathetically, and he wiped his eyes quickly and looked up at her.
"What?" he snapped, but as soon as he said it, a guilty, upset expression came over his face, as though he hadn't meant to snap but had too much pride to apologize for doing so.
"W-why did you push me away?" she said, even more pathetically, if that was possible. "Did I do something wrong?"
The ice that had been in his eyes melted completely into a few tears welling up at the corners of his eyes. He held out his arms and beckoned her to him, moving a little to make room on the bed for her. She hesitated a moment before sitting next to him, careful not to touch him, not sure how he would react to that at the moment.
"I'm sorry, love," he muttered. "It just… it hurt really badly, hearing Mr. Potter of all people say something like that about me, right there, as though I wasn't sitting right there in front of him. It stung."
Samantha nodded, carefully touching his shoulder. When he didn't pull away, she gently massaged it with her hand. She wanted to say something, to let him know that Mr. Potter didn't mean it and that everything would be okay, but she couldn't find words that didn't sound like meaningless clichés, so she didn't say a thing. She merely moved behind him and began kneading her fingers gently into his shoulders like a cat.
Samantha's sister always said she gave the best massages, but she had never given them to someone outside her family before. She had never had friends. Sirius was enjoying it, though, and he leaned back into her touch, sighing deeply a few times before murmuring, "That's really nice, Sami."
A blush crept onto her cheeks but she kept going, ranging out from his shoulders, massaging his neck, arms, back, until he was moaning to her touch, putty in her hands. She felt incredibly powerful, and the thought terrified her. Before she had time to dwell on the possible worst case scenarios of her newfound power, Sirius slowly turned around and looked at her with longing in his eyes, pushing her down on his bed gently and hovering over her.
He began kissing his way from her collarbone up her neck and to her lips, where all fears and self-conscious thoughts vanished and she melted into his kiss. His hands began working against her arms gently, something like what she had just done to him, and it was heaven. They ran from her arms to her shoulders, and then down to grasp at her breasts through her clothes and she moaned into his mouth. He smirked against her lips and kneaded her breasts expertly.
For a brief moment, Samantha had no thoughts in her mind except that whatever Sirius was doing to her body felt absolutely heavenly, but then he began snaking his hands up underneath her tee and grinding his hips into hers and she snapped back to reality. She pushed him away, gasping for air.
He didn't even have to ask what was wrong. The moment their eyes met, his filled with sadness and regret.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I shouldn't have… I… Sami, I'm going to have to work really hard at controlling myself around you. Just know it's not easy for me."
Samantha nodded, knowing that he meant his apology and feeling a bit bad for accidentally tempting him like she had done. They heard the front door open, and they knew Mrs. Potter was home from her luncheon. A small smile graced Sirius's face.
"That'll be Mum," he whispered.
"Do you want to go and meet her?" Samantha whispered back.
"In a minute," he breathed, lying back on the bed and wrapping his arms around her. "It's kind of nice, you know, being like this with you."
"Like what?" she breathed back, their noses inches apart.
"Just holding you, relaxing, no pressure, just being next to you and knowing it's okay to be next to you. Wanting you, and knowing that's okay. I like it. It feels kind of… comfortable."
Samantha knew exactly what he meant and she nodded, burying her face in his chest, savoring the feel of his warmth, of his strong arms around her, of his heart beating just inside his chest, so close she could almost touch it. She enjoyed the feel of his fingers running through her hair, of his legs tangling playfully with hers, with all the innocence of two children cuddling by a fireplace midwinter. It all felt so right to her, and she wouldn't have been disappointed if they never moved.
"We should probably go and meet with Mum now, Sami," he whispered, although he sounded rather reluctant, "before she comes looking for us."
They crawled out of bed, Sirius checked his hair in the mirror, and flattened Samantha's, and then grinned at her, holding out his hand for her to take. She took it with a small smile and allowed him to lead her down the hall, down to the kitchen, where Mrs. Potter was instructing the house-elf on dinner.
"Ah, Sirius, Sam," she said with a small smile. "How was your ride, dear?"
"Fine, thank you," he said. "How was your luncheon?"
"Horrible as always," she said conversationally with a pleasant smile on her face. "Some of the things your poor cousin said, I thought your mother would die of embarrassment."
Sirius laughed, pulling out a chair for Samantha, and sitting down in the chair next to her. As soon as they were situated around the table, Mr. Potter and James came in, Mr. Potter looking sheepishly down at his hands.
"I'm sorry for my outburst earlier, son," he said softly. "I didn't think things through all the way, and I should have known better than to say something like that in front of you. There are no excuses, and I ask you to forgive me."
"I'll always forgive you, Dad," said Sirius honestly. "It's not like I've got anywhere else to live if I don't," he added with a smirk, and the Potters laughed good-naturedly.
"So, Sirius, dear," said Mrs. Potter, "how about I find you two some biscuits and I tell you all about that horrific luncheon?"
"I'd love that, Mum," he said with a genuine smile, and Mrs. Potter went off to the pantry to look for some biscuits.
"So how long have you been back, Sirius?" said Mr. Potter casually, pulling out his newspaper.
"Not long," said Sirius, pouring himself a glass of water. "Maybe ten minutes, at most. Probably more like five."
"Here we are," said Mrs. Potter setting down a tin of biscuits and sitting across from Sirius. Mere seconds after the biscuit tin hit the table, James rushed into the room, sliding into the chair next to his mother, who looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" he said with a shrug. "I smelled food."
"Weren't you in the study?" said Samantha, frowning.
"I smelled food really far away," he said, grinning and shrugging again.
"Typical James," said Sirius and Mrs. Potter in chorus, which earned them a first-class pout from James.
"Whatever, less about me, and more about the luncheon event, Mum. I want to know what sorts of crazy things the crazy people said!"
"Very well," said Mrs. Potter thoughtfully. "I suppose it all started when Narcissa said something about tuna…"
A/N: Anyone who gets the reference at the end gets to ask me any question their heart desires!
