I feel really bad, I haven't written much at all lately and so haven't posted. I have about another two chapters ready and one half written by hand and I kinda know where I want this to end. Its just a matter of getting it there. But I plan on getting my butt into gear. All the reviews have been great motivation and so it is for you that I am going to actually finish this fic.
Angelic Ninja
O,
I need
The darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The
weakness
O, I need this
I need
A lullaby
A kiss
goodnight
The angel sweet
Love of my life
O, I need this...
Well is it dark enough?
Can you see me?
Do you want
me?
Can you reach me?
Or I'm leaving
You better shut
your mouth
Hold your breath
Kiss me now you'll catch your
death
O, I mean this
Natalie Merchant – My Skin
We enter the console room and I could smell burnt wiring and the faint lingering smell of leather. As I look around I spot his jacket hung on the hat rack by the door. Jack pulls me towards the console and it is then I notice the yellow envelope in his hands. I could feel myself begin to tremble in fear as he passes it to me. "Best you open it, Rose." He lowers me onto the chair carefully as I stare at my name in the Doctor's flowing hand. Kissing my forehead he steps away, "You call me if you need me." I nod and watch him go leaving the TARDIS doors open slightly. I slowly pry open the envelope, scared and curious of what I will find within. My eyes are drawn to the letter and I pull it from the envelope first, flattening it against my legs with shaking hands. I take a deep breath and read aloud, fighting my clouded brain to understand the words. Letting the TARDIS lead me when I could not draw them up from the coma induced confusion I still suffered.
"Rose,
It is your turn to leave me, and it hurts to let you go. But I will never forgive myself for what I have done. I need you both safe and that means from me as well. But for that I need you to stop looking for me. I hear you scream and I have to fight to remain hidden, to keep the TARDIS from leading you directly to me. This was never what I wanted, but this is how it must end.
Enclosed is a few things you both will need. Your own sonic screwdriver, which you will need to heal all you can as she can never go to a doctor on Earth. Secondly a Gallifreyan folk story told to our children, translated so you can read it to her. Finally, the crystal is imprinted with my psychic pattern so she will always know me. She will find me when it is time. I will have to take her from you then so for that I am apologising now, like me she does not belong in your world.
I wish I could have given you more, wish I could have been a better person for you.
The Doctor."
I upend the envelope onto my lap, taking the crystal on its chain and placing it around my neck. The sonic screwdriver I drop into my hoodie pocket. He had taken the choice from me, like my mother and Jack. There was no way they could make me take those steps out of the TARDIS and away from my Doctor. I would not leave until he had stood before me, telling me that he didn't love me. I felt a tingle in the back of my mind as a tear finally escaped. I gently placed a hand over my child where it grew inside me, picturing his face the first time he had told me I was beautiful, when I had apologised for nearly destroying the world. The moments he had been sweet and gentle with me. The moments that showed me he really did care. Closing my eyes I saw his face as he looked upon the last Dalek, as he told me about his home and the war. All the pain he held that made him who he was, that made me love him more. I felt my child's love for him, matching my own. Opening my eyes I found him standing before me, slight confusion on his face as he looked down at me.
"Rose?"
"Tell me you don't love me, and I'll just go."
I watched his face closely as it became that solemn mask, "I don't love you." The words slipped so easily from his lips as I watched him.
"Okay," Standing I kissed him gently, letting him kiss me back. Stepping back from him I looked him in the eye, "Liar."
