"Undyne? Undyne! No! No!"Frisk was screaming, tears running from her eyes. She was looking through the ashes, as if she'd find anything left from Undyne, but of course there was nothing.
"Frisk…" you whispered, grabbing her arm, "she's dead"
Frisk slapped your arm and you pulled it away shocked. Her teary eyes were full of distaste for you. "There was someone in my head. Someone was moving my body". You gulped and tried to sooth her. "Sans! I'm a killer!"
"No, no, it's not your fault, we can fix this…" you tried to explain but she didn't even care to listen.
"One of my best friends is dead and its. MY. FAULT!" she screamed.
"Frisk, listen, it's okay, you can just reset…It will be as if nothing happened…"
"No it will not! I…I killed her… Undyne. My friend. Do you think I can forgive myself?". Frisk's cries were getting louder and louder, but the worst thing was the expression of disgust on her face. "You knew about that didn't you? The person in my head…She told me you knew about her. That you only cared for me because you wanted to be aware of her in my head. Is that true?"
You tried to answer, but words couldn't escape your mouth. You only took care of Frisk because she was your friend, right? But you wanted to have your mind in Chara, too, a little voice in your mind said. It was true. You wanted to keep an eye on Chara constantly, to protect your brother and Frisk. You didn't warn Frisk about her though. Because you were a coward, too afraid of what she'd think, too happy that she was back to ruin it. And your actions led…to this.
"I see you're not answering" she continued coolly. "I get it. It's okay. You don't have to care about me. But you should have cared about the other monsters enough to warm me. Because of that… Because of me… Undyne is…" she starting sobbing again, barely even managing to breathe.
You knew she was right. At first, you didn't want to scare her by telling her about the other timelines. But when she remembered, you should have. You just never imagined Chara would do something like that. She hadn't tried to kill any other monster thus far, so why now? Because you didn't expect it, idiot, you thought.
"Listen, kid" you told her calmly "you are right. I screwed up. BUT" you said strictly when you saw she was ready to yell at you again, "now it's not the time to talk about this. You'll scold me as much as you want, but only after we fix this. Okay?"
"Okay" she whispered half-heartedly.
"You have to go back to the time before your fight with Undyne".
Frisk looked down to her dusty, trembling hands and shook her head. "I can't. I don't know how. Maybe I've lost the ability"
"No, you haven't" you said firmly. "You just have to be determined. I can help you. You've told me the basics in a past timeline". She bit her lips, eyes filling with tears once a again.
"I don't feel determined right now" she muttered.
"You have to. You can do this. Come on"
She sighed looking at Undyne's ashes. The sight of her friend's remains seemed to give her some of her precious human determination. That was good. She could do that, you knew.
"Okay, so once you told me that when you wanted to reset even though you hadn't died, you imagined you were back at a place where you last felt safe and determined. You said there were spots all throughout the Underground where you got that specific feeling. You called them your "save points". Have you felt like this somewhere?"
"Yes" she whispered, not looking at you but rather somewhere far away, "outside the inn in Snowdin, when you left to get us Nice Creams".
You tried not to think about how she'd said she felt safe with you at that moment. How disappointed she'd be now… No, that was not the time to make these thoughts.
"Okay" you whispered too, "close your eyes. Picture that moment. Imagine you are living it right now, the images, the sounds and the smells, everything…"
For a few seconds, nothing happened. You had started getting worried, when you felt it. Everything went black and your skull starting buzzing, million voices ringing in your skull, of things that were or that never will be. The sickening feeling persisted for a few moments, before you found yourself in Snowdin again.
Everything was just as you'd left it. Monsters were walking around you as if nothing had happened. The Nice Cream guy was still trying to sell his products. Frisk was standing right next to you. Her eyes were filled with tears of joy and relief. You knew she could do it. You smiled widely and punched her arm playfully.
She flinched and her expression darkened. You felt your bones shaking lightly. Undyne was safe and you were happy about that. But you had done a big mistake. And something was telling you you were going to regret it.
"Frisk…kid… I'm so sorry…" you tried to apologize, but she raised her hand, telling you to stop.
"I don't care if you're sorry right now. I'm sorry I let myself be manipulated too, but my guilt won't change the fact I killed someone with my hands. It will stigmatize me forever. I just want to ask you why. Why didn't you tell me anything before?"
What could you do except answer truthfully? You owed her an explanation, at least. "That person, her name is Chara, managed to gain control over your body last time. She… wasn't very nice. She killed many monsters. Papyrus and Undyne, too. With my help, you overcame her influence and reset. However, in the process she managed to seal your memories of the past. She… she let me know by taking over your body and talking to me"
Frisk was left still in front of you, her mouth wide open from shock. Her expression, though, changed quickly from one of surprise to one of anger. "You knew all of this, all this time but yet told me nothing? There was someone talking to you THROUGH MY BODY and you didn't warn me?!"
Her face was bright red and her eyes were shining furiously. What could you say? She was right. "Frisk, I'm really sorry. I was so happy you were back. I really care about you. Don't believe anything she told you. When you came to the Underground, you changed my life. You made me better, you made me care about things. Care about you. When I saw you come through the Ruins again, unaware of all the horrific things that had happened… I just didn't want to burden you…"
"Burden me?!" she screamed as loudly as she could. Monsters were shooting curious glances towards your direction, but the girl didn't seem to notice. "You're just a coward, Sans, that's the reason. You just didn't want to spoil what was a happy little reunion to you. Didn't you understand I could've hurt someone?"
"I knew, that's why I was looking after you. I didn't think Chara would trick me like that"
"She wouldn't have taken over me so easily if I knew everything! Hearing her voice in my head shocked me so much I couldn't regain control… Nothing of this would've happened!"
You wanted to refuse, but she was right. Last time, you had managed to beat Chara together. You didn't do it by yourself. You chose not to trust her this time, with the silly excuse you were protecting her.
"Please, Frisk, I'm so sorry. It won't happen again, I'll tell you everything you need to know. Forgive me". You walked to her, raising your hand to touch her arm again, but she shoved it away once more.
"No" she said simply. She turned her back to you. You couldn't see her face, but you knew from the way her shoulders were shaking she was crying again. "I don't want anything to do with you. I'm done. Done with you. Goodbye, Sans". She started walking away, not giving you a single look.
"Frisk, wait!" you shouted. But she was gone.
You didn't follow her. You teleported in your house and fell on the couch. You felt your left eye burn and vivid blue tears starting flowing from your eyes. Your bones were aching as if someone was breaking them again and again. You buried your face in the pillows trying to muffle the sobs and then, the screams. You screamed her name. You screamed, and screamed, and screamed. But nobody came.
You had really done it this time. You screwed up entirely. You had destroyed your relationship with Frisk, a friendship built over many timelines and more…feelings you'd never felt before and now you couldn't talk to her about them. Couldn't tell her how much you needed her, how happy her smile made you…
Many hours passed. You hadn't moved. Occasionally, you shouted in the pillows. Sometimes, tears filled your eyes again. Then, you heard the door open and close quickly and your brother was screaming in your ear hole. "SANS ARE YOU SLEEPING AGAIN?"
"yep bro, I just took a nap". You tried to make your voice sound sleepy, not broken.
"I WILL NOT CHASTICE YOU THIS TIME BECAUSE THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS VERY HAPPY! I MANAGED TO MAKE THE HUMAN AND UNDYNE FRIENDS! AT FIRST SHE DIDN'T WANT TO, BUT NOW SHE LOOKS REALLY HAPPY. I WILL GO BY HER PLACE TO HANG OUT. AREN'T YOU COMING?"
"nope I'll just continue my sleep"
"ARE YOU SURE?"
"Yes, I just want to lay down for a bit" you answered.
And never get up, you thought, holding back another sob.
