Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice

Chapter ten

Mikan and Natsume entered the house in silence. Neither of them talking or looking at each other. Mikan headed upstairs, taking two at a time, desperate to get the smell of alcohol off of her, while Natsume stayed downstairs and headed for the lounge room. He grabbed the book he was currently reading off the coffee table and picked off from where he read.

Mikan entered her room and slammed the door shut. She hurried into the bathroom to get a shower. Mikan tore off her clothes and threw them in the laundry basket before hopping into the shower and putting the water on.

As Mikan started to clean her hair furiously, her thoughts went back to the time in the club. Koko, Kitsuneme and Mochu had left early and made their way out. Mikan knew that Koko was still awake in his room, because the light was still on.

'I wonder what they think of me now' wondered Mikan as she rinsed her hair. Mikan remembered the stares she had from the boys. Her thoughts went back to Natsume. Mikan's eyes snapped open.

"Oh, CRAP!" Mikan exclaimed when some soap went in her eye. Mikan quickly rinsed her face to try and stop the stinging.

After she finished her shower, Mikan came out of the bathroom, finished up the buttons of her red, satin sleep shirt that stopped about half way down her thigh. Mikan slowly made her way over to her study table and pulled out a draw, taking out a diary.

She sat there in silence with a pen in her hand, staring blankly at the book in front of her, letting her mind slowly start up. Then, she started writing.

'Dear Diary,

Does the world always revolve around everyone? Or is it that for every century or millennia that one is blessed in their life? I've just recently realised that. I never really gave life much thought except the fact that my life is very screwed up. I fill as if I have had every bad thing that could happen, even though it's not true. I know that there are people out there struggling more than I am. But is it bad to be so selfish once in a while? Because from what I know, my sadness often eats me up and I end up having to find myself having difficulty breathing. It's a hard thing to handle, isn't it? I mean, I would definitely think so.

Sadness, loss and despair.

Why must the world contain all of this? Why are the people we are meant to love and adore, also be the ones we hate to be with most? And why must all our regrets happen when it's too late?

Love. It's something difficult. No one…No one at all has been able to conquer it. No matter what any legend or story has ever been told. I find it hard to believe that people can conquer anything with love. It would be more of the understanding that Love would have started off everything to begin with. Wouldn't you agree? Because, honestly, what you begin, is what you should end.

Is this how hopeless I am? Am I destined to push people away until I regret it?'

Mikan stopped writing and stared down at the two pages filled with her writing. She then flipped back a couple of pages to re-read what she had written. When she finished, Mikan slowly took out another diary from the drawer of her desk. This one was older, with a lot of creases on it. Mikan started to re-read some of the diary entries she had written. The very diary from when she was still young and clueless.

As she read, her eyes started to sting. With every word she read, she found it harder to believe. With every sentence, she found it harder to breath. With every paragraph, she found it harder to understand. With every page, she found it harder to see. She kept reading until finally, she gave in and let the tears roll down her face. Her tears rolled down her cheek, leaping off her chin, before falling onto the diary in her hands. Mikan placed the book on the table and burst out into tears. The sound of her cries filled her room.

Mikan instantly sat up and wiped her tears away when she heard footsteps approaching her room. And without a doubt, someone knocked on her door.

'It's Koko' stated Mikan, foolishly. 'Who else would it be?' Mikan thought sourly. Mikan put her diary away before making her way over to the door. Mikan opened the door with a smile on her face.

"Hey, Koko" Mikan greeted him.

"Whoa, how'd you know it was me?" asked Koko, amazed. Mikan let out a small laugh and shrugged.

"You're the only one who would knock. We both know the other person wouldn't knock" Mikan joked quietly. Koko didn't catch the tint of sadness in her voice, so he laughed at her joke.

"You got that right!" he bellowed. He then straightened himself out and looked at Mikan seriously.

"Um, are you alright, Mikan? I thought I heard…something…" he trailed off. He had just realised Mikan was only wearing a shirt, and no pants when he looked down at the ground to see her bare legs.

"Do you have a habit of not wearing pants or something?" Koko joked.

"Do you have a habit of not wearing a shirt?" Mikan joked in reply. Koko laughed and winked at her. Mikan winked back.

"So… is there anything wrong…?" wondered Koko. Mikan heaved a sigh and leaned against the door frame of her door.

"I don't know" she answered him honestly.

"Were you cr-" Koko was about to ask, when he decided to shut up when he saw Mikan's eyes watering up.

"Oh, Mikan, I'm sorry" whispered Koko. "I didn't mean to upset you or anything" he told her. "I was just-"

"It… It's alright, Koko" Mikan reassured him in a slightly shaky voice. Koko took a step forwards and pulled him into him for a tight embrace. Mikan hugged him thankfully, burying her face into Koko's chest.

"So, what's wrong?" Koko asked her in a whisper.

"I'm emotionally unstable" Mikan muttered sarcastically. Koko chuckled and buried his face into Mikan's slightly damn hair.

"I'll accept that answer for now, then" replied Koko. He then pulled away and looked Mikan in the eyes. "Why don't we get you to bed then, hm?" suggested Koko. Mikan buried her face into Koko's chest again, not wanting to let go. She still needed more comfort.

"Can you…?" Mikan asked him in a small voice. Although Mikan didn't finish the question, Koko understood. Koko let out a sigh and picked Mikan up bridal style.

"Alright" he told her before carrying Mikan into her room, using his foot to close the door.

Unbeknownst to Koko, Natsume had been watching them from beside the staircase all along.

'What the hell was all that?' Natsume exclaimed in his mind. He hadn't been able to hear anything, so he was frustrated. God knows what they could be doing in the room at the moment. Natsume shook off his frustration and headed for his room, slamming the door closed the moment he entered.

Inside Mikan's room, Koko had placed Mikan on the bed and covered her body with the blanket. Mikan shut her eyes when she heard Natsume slam his door shut. She had known he was there, watching. That's why she had placed a silence barrier around her and Koko, so only they could hear each other, and not anyone else.

"So, are you ever going to tell me?" asked Koko. Mikan placed her arms over her head.

"I was hoping that you'd forgotten about it" muttered Mikan. Koko scoffed.

"As if I would forget" he told her.

Mikan sighed and sat up and pated the space beside her on the bed, silently telling Koko to take a seat on her bed. Koko slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. He stayed silent as Mikan rested her head down on her pillow again.

"Lie down with me" whispered Mikan, patting her pillow. Koko grinned and lay down on the bed. Mikan moved over slightly for Koko to have more room on the bed, but Koko stopped her by wrapping his arms around her body and pulled her against his own.

"So, is this your way of breaking news to someone, or what?" kidded Koko. Mikan let out a small laugh and slightly shook her head. They were both lying on their sides, facing each other. Then, within a second, they both turned serious.

"I still can't tell you, Koko" Mikan whispered. Koko nodded sadly, failing to hide his disappointment. Mikan raised her hand and caressed his cheek.

"I'm really sorry, Koko. You have no idea how much I want to tell you-"

"Then why not tell me, then?" butted in Koko.

"-But the thing is, I can't" continued Mikan with a solemn look on her face. Koko heaved a sigh and nodded.

"Fine," muttered Koko, "I'll leave it for now" said Koko. "But, on one condition" he told her.

"Just… Promise me…" he told her. Mikan gave Koko a small smile and nodded.

"I promise, Koko" she answered, already know Koko wanted to say. "I'll tell you the moment I think I can tell you" she promised, her voice barely a whisper.

Koko nodded, satisfied. "Alright then, I'll take that answer then" he told her, grinning. "So, how about we play a game that can get us to know each other more?" suggested Koko. Mikan thought for a moment.

"Hmm alright, then" agreed Mikan. Koko's face lit up with his excited.

"Alright, then, um… how about a game of truth?" requested Koko. Mikan gave Koko a look of suspicion.

"NOOO, that's not what I mean. I won't ask any question related to that" promised Koko, knowing that Mikan thought that he requested to game so he could know what Mikan was hiding.

"Mm, I'll take your word on it, then" said Mikan, pretending to suspicious of Koko. Koko smirked and pinched Mikan's cheek.

"You're so cute" he told her. Mikan pretended to bite his hand, which caused Koko to pull his hand away. Koko chuckled.

"Alright then, you can go first" Koko offered.

"Alright then," answered Mikan, "Hm… have you… had your first kiss yet?" asked Mikan. Koko blushed.

"Are you offering?" Koko joked. Mikan laughed.

"No way!" she exclaimed. Koko feigned hurt. Mikan grinned and gave him a peck on the cheeks.

"There" she said as she laid her head back down on the pillow. "So, have you?" asked Mikan. Koko shook his head.

"No, I haven't" answered Koko. "Alright, my turn" announced Koko. Koko looked around Mikan's room and noticed something.

"Tell me about your family" he said. Mikan's expression, that was once eager, was now dark. Mikan closed her eyes and whispered, "I don't have a family"

Koko turned to look at Mikan. "What do you mean…?" he asked her in a soft voice, hoping Mikan wouldn't close up again.

"I never knew any of my family. I've only heard of them from someone that I consider as a brother. My parents died a long time ago, apparently. I don't know how. I was never told. My brother promised to tell me when I'm older… when…" Mikan stopped and tilted her head up slightly to look at Koko. His expression was regretful. Regretful for having to ask Mikan to bring up something she probably didn't want to bring up. Mikan gave Koko a sad smile and said, "It's alright, Koko"

Koko looked Mikan in the eyes and saw her sad, brown orbs, trying their best not tears escape again.

"Oh, Sweetheart, I'm so sorry" he muttered as he brought Mikan to his chest. And like that, Mikan cried. Letting all her bottled up feelings go and out into the world.

"I never knew them, Koko" Mikan told his in a shaky voice. "I don't even remember their faces. I don't even have a picture of them. I have no memory, whatsoever. I never even bothered to find out about them. I'm a horrible person, aren't I?" she cried into Koko's chest. Koko rocked her like a baby, back and forth.

"No you're not, Mikan. You're a wonderful person" he told her. Mikan continued to cry. Koko pulled Mikan away slightly and forced Mikan to look him in the eyes.

"You're a wonderful person. Don't forget it, alright?" he told her. "If you ever need someone to hold you… come to me. Even if it's over a broken nail, you can count on me. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. If you need someone to give you advice, I'm here. If you ever need someone to hang out with, I'm here. I'll always be here for you, alright?" reassured Koko. Mikan nodded, her lips shaking. Koko nodded and kissed Mikan lightly on the forehead before pulling her close to him, allowing Mikan to let her tears to flow freely.

"Goodnight, Mikan" Koko muttered as Mikan fell into slumber. Not long after that, Koko fell asleep as well. With his arms still wrapped around Mikan, and Mikan's arms wrapped around him, he definitely had the best sleep in ages.


Mikan was the first to wake up. The moment she opened her eyes, she saw Koko's sleeping face in front of her. Mikan let out a small smile appear on her face. She carefully and quickly got out of the bed, careful not to wake up. Mikan turned off her alarm clock so it doesn't and headed into the bathroom to freshen up.

Mikan exited the bathroom to see Koko had claimed the whole bed to himself. Mikan chuckled quietly and made her way out of her room to go downstairs and grab something to eat. As Mikan headed downstairs, Mikan looked at the clock to see it was a little past six. Mikan ran her fingers through her hair, when she suddenly had to yank her hand out because of all the knots.

"Aw, I should have run a comb through my hair" groaned Mikan as she continued down the stairs. Mikan entered the kitchen, only to see Natsume in the kitchen, searching through the fridge to find something to eat. Mikan cautiously entered the kitchen, hoping Natsume would snap at her or something. Instead, Natsume turned around and stepped aside, allowing Mikan to have access to the fridge.

Mikan quickly made her way over the fridge and looked around to see what she could make for breakfast. While she did that, Natsume went to make himself a cup of coffee.

"Um, can you wait about twenty minutes?" asked Mikan as she prepared the ingredients.

"Yeah, whatever" muttered Natsume as he poured himself a cup of coffee and exited the kitchen to make his way upstairs. Mikan heaved a sigh and prepared the stove.

Mikan turned to grab a knife when she spotted the cup of coffee prepared for her on the kitchen table. Mikan smiled and walked over to get a sip. When she was ready, Mikan quickly prepared breakfast.

About half an hour later, Mikan headed upstairs with a tray of three sandwiches filled with sliced button mushrooms, sliced leg of ham, spinach leaves and an egg, along with two cups of coffee- one for herself, and one for Koko.

Mikan brought the tray into her room. When she entered her room, she saw Koko still fast asleep. Mikan couldn't help but smile at the boy's child-like atmosphere he was creating. He was so adorable. Mikan set down the tray on her study table and walked over to wake Koko up. They wouldn't want to be late for school.

"Koko, wake up" Mikan whispered, shaking Koko slightly on the arm. Koko groaned and pulled the blanket over his head.

"Five more minutes" Koko muttered under the blanket.

"Are you sure you want five more minutes?" asked Mikan in a cheeky manner. Koko slowly took off the blanket.

"What do you mean to say?" asked Koko, obviously getting a different idea to what Mikan actually meant. Mikan walked over to her study table and held up the tray of food.

"Do you want food, or not?" asked Mikan. "I'm making up for last night, but if you don't want it, it's more for me" said Mikan. Koko immediately sat up and held out his hands. Mikan laughed and handed him his plate and coffee.

"Enjoy" was the last thing Mikan said before grabbing Natsume's sandwich and headed out the door, closing it behind her.

Mikan walked across the hallway and stopped in front of Natsume's room. Mikan took a deep breath in and knocked on the door. A muffled, "Come in" was heard through the door. Mikan slowly opened the door and carefully stepped in, as if being careful that someone would pounce out at any second. Mikan looked around the room to see… an empty room. Mikan walked out on the balcony and saw Natsume looking out on the street, this hands resting on the balcony railing.

"Here's breakfast" Mikan announced, holding out Natsume's plate with his sandwich on it. Natsume turned around with 'Hn' and grabbed it. He then turned back around to look out onto the street without another word. Mikan stood there for a moment awkwardly before slowly turning to leave. Before Mikan could take another step, Natsume appeared beside her and pulled her to the side, and backed her up against the bookshelf, trapping Mikan between him and the bookshelf.

"Just who are you?" asked Natsume. Mikan was caught by surprise, but she managed to hide it. She didn't want to use her Mind Reading Alice, but if she had to, then she would definitely end up using it.

"What do you mean?" Mikan asked innocently. Natsume heaved a sigh.

"One minute you're one of the most idiotic and dense people every known, and then the next…" Natsume paused for a moment, "The next, you're going out to… clubs? I mean, honestly, what the hell?"

Mikan let out a sigh and turned her head to look the other way.

"Why would you care" murmured Mikan. They both stayed silent, staring into each other's eyes. A couple of minutes later, Natsume dropped his hand and ran it through his hair.

"Tch. Whatever" Natsume grunted and turned away. "You should probably go and eat your own breakfast" he added before take a sip out of his coffee, disappearing out onto the balcony.

'Stupid, son of b- no… no, Mikan, you must calm down. You must not curse over that no good, mood swinging jerk' thought Mikan, glaring at the last spot where she last saw Natsume. Mikan spun around and stomped out the door, unconsciously slamming the door shut behind her. Mikan cringed when the door came in contact with the door frame.

"Oops, I wasn't meant to do that" muttered Mikan before heading into her room.

"Come on, Koko, off you go," instructed Mikan, "you still need to get ready for school" she told him. Koko stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and nodded.

"Alright" Koko muffled through his full mouth, as he picked up his cup of coffee to head back to his own room.


"Good morning" Ruka greeted Mikan, Natsume and Koko as they entered the classroom.

"How did you guys sleep last night?" Mochu asked as he wrote down his answer for his math homework.

"It was great" answered Koko, with a big grin on his face. Mikan glance at him and smiled, giving him a slight nudge in the rib. Koko slightly flinched, though covered it up, making it look as if he had planned to move beside Mochu to take a seat.

Natsume, who had made his way to his seat and taken out his book to read, had seen Mikan nudge Koko in the rib.

"Alright, class, to your seats" announced the teacher as he made his way towards his desk.

Throughout the whole lesson, Natsume pretended to read his book, though, in fact, he was watching Mikan in front of him.

Mikan placed her left elbow onto her desk, the other hand carelessly writing down notes on what the teacher was saying. She was going to regret writing so carelessly later, but at the moment, she couldn't care less.

'It's going to be a long day' she thought.


A/N: In this chapter, I sort of reaaaally wanted to start up Mikan and Koko's relationship within the story. It was fun...and weird. Don't know why but, meh.

I hope you enjoyed it! Drop a review? Tell me what you think?