A/N: This and the following two chapters are Lily's side of her time in the cabin while Bella was unconscious, their escape, rescue, and reunion. It's sad, it's graphic, it's bittersweet, with descriptions of violence and abusive language. If it offends, please don't read. Every time I post something and don't put a Kleenex warning, I get yelled at, so get your tissues people!
Lily POV: Chapter 13
"Bella. Bella. Wake up. He's coming, Bella."
I kept trying to wake her up, because he banged on the door a long time ago and I could hear him coming back with his keys. She wouldn't wake up. She just kept making weird noises. She had been all night.
"What the hell is going on in here?" Bad Daddy yelled inside the door.
I jumped off the bed away from him, but then I wished I didn't, because he was touching Bella now. I didn't want him to be mean to her anymore. If she's sick, she needs my real daddy. He could fix her.
"Victoria!" he screamed. "What the hell are you playing at? Get the fuck up!"
My Nana would wash your mouth out with soap.
"I think she's sick…Daddy. She needs a doctor," I said, trying to be a brave girl and not cry.
"She's not good enough for a goddamn doctor. She needs to wake up or I'll make her," he said mean. "She just needs her medicine."
I hated that medicine. It made her so sleepy and sick. And she never got to eat when it made her mess up. My real daddy and me could make her lots of food at my real home.
He stomped his feet loud into the kitchen and got her medicine, and when he brought it back he didn't even give her any water. He tried to push them in her mouth, but she wasn't swallowing anything. It was like she couldn't wake up. Like Sleeping Beauty. Or maybe Snow White. Her hair is darker. My real daddy could kiss her to wake up.
"You stupid bitch!" he screamed loud. "Quit playing around, Vicki!"
He sounded kind of scared, but mostly really mean. And then he started slapping her face to wake her up.
"No, Daddy!" I cried. "Please don't hit her! She's sick!"
He didn't listen to me at all and he started hitting her in other places too. He was screaming and screaming at her, yelling in her face and calling her bad word names, but he wouldn't listen to me. It was too scary and I wanted to hide, but I was scared to hide in the closet because of the foods we hidded away. I ran into the bathroom and waited until I heard the screaming stop and the door close and lock before I got out.
I wanted to be brave and not cry, but Bella was on the floor, and she was bleeding again. He hadn't made her bleed for a while, but now she was again. Her mouth had a cut so I tried to clean it up, but she was on her tummy and I couldn't reach it right. And her face was really hot. I tried and tried to get her up onto the bed, but I just couldn't. I tried to pretend I was a superhero that had big strength, but that didn't work. Then I tried to pretend I was Uncle Em, but that didn't work either.
Finally, I had to give up, so I got her a pillow off the bed and tried to make her comfortable. At least I was strong enough for her head. I checked under her shirt even though I wasn't supposed to look, because I needed to see if she had any new bad owies. I could hear him smacking her and it was really loud. Maybe he would smack me instead now that Bella was sleeping. That made me scared, but then I felt bad, because Bella got smacked every day because of me and she never complained. Unless she was sleeping and talking.
Her owies were still bad, but I couldn't find any new ones. Or maybe there was new ones but they were mixed in with the old ones. There was too many to see a difference.
The keys opening the door scared me really bad, because I was afraid what would happen to me if he hit her too hard. I didn't want to stay here alone with Bad Daddy. We'd been here for a long time and I knew Real Daddy was coming, but he was taking a long time.
"Move out of the way, Abby," Bad Daddy said as he walked over to Bella and kicked her over. She made another weird noise and he made a mean face at her. Then, he grabbed her hair and started pulling her out of the room! By her hair!
"C'mon, Abby," he yelled at me as he pulled her into the living room. He picked her up and threw her onto the couch and then started making a fire in the fireplace.
I didn't think that was a good idea, because she felt really hot so fire would make her hotter, but I didn't think he would listen to me very good. There's something wrong with him. And he must have been really stupid, because now he was putting blankets on her.
I watched him take her medicine and squish it on the table, and then he picked up the powder and put it in her mouth.
"Ohhh," Bella cried in her sleep.
"Goddamn, I wish she'd just wake up already," Bad Daddy said.
She can't wake up with all that yucky medicine you make her take. That's why she's sick.
"Abigail, you're going to need to clean up around here until she's better. I'll make breakfast and help you with your reading, but then you need to clean this place up, okay?" he asked me, but I knew I couldn't say no. Bella was never allowed to say no.
A really good idea popped into my head. I knew I promised Bella I wouldn't try to take food, but maybe she wouldn't be mad if I only took a little bit to help. It would just be helping, and she always said I was such a good helper. But I didn't want her to be mad at me.
I want her to be my mommy for real.
"Abigail, I asked you a question. Answer me," he said mean.
I nodded really fast, scared he was gonna spank me like he spanked Bella.
"What's the matter with you today?" he asked, rubbing my cheek.
I hate that. It makes me miss Real Daddy.
"I want Mommy to wake up."
"She will," he nodded, looking at her mean. "I'll make her."
After he made me gloopy oatmeal, he tried to read to me from the dictionary, but he was even slower than Bella. And I didn't think he took any of that medicine. After a long time, he told me to start cleaning.
"You know how to sweep, right, Abby?" he asked, looking at Bella like he might hit her if I said no. I had helped my Nana do it before, so I nodded really quick and went to go get the broom. While he was in his room being crazy, I tried to give Bella some water.
"Bella," I whispered. "You should drink this. It'll make you feel better to have lots of fludes. That means water."
I tried to pour it in her mouth, but most of it just spilled out, making her make another weird noise.
"Bella?" I whispered again.
"Ungh, Llll," she said.
"I'm gonna sneak food for us so when you wake up we can go, okay?"
She didn't make any more noise, so I pushed her head a little bit. That made her nod yes. So I guessed it was okay. I hoped it would be. It felt kind of like a trick, but…she can ground me when she's my mommy.
(The Next Day)
We just finished lunch and I didn't really want to take a nap, because Bella couldn't sleep in my room with me. Unless…
"Daddy? Can I sleep with Mommy on the couch?"
That way he couldn't be mean to her. And maybe I could get her some more water if he goes to his room again.
He made a big noise with his breath and shook his head.
"Abby, I need to talk to you about something important. You need to really listen closely, alright, baby?"
I nodded, just wanting to know if I could sleep with Bella or not.
"You know your birthday's coming up really soon, don't you?"
I nodded, but I didn't really know. My birthday is September and I remember my real daddy said that's before Christmas. I hoped I didn't miss Christmas.
"It's not very far away. August fourteenth is just around the corner and you'll be five. That's a very important birthday. Do you know why?"
I didn't know what he was talking about. My birthday was September. Real Daddy told me.
"No."
"Abby…that's the day you get to start your training. I want you to grow up to be a good girl, who knows how to listen. Right now, you're too young to be taught the right way, you wouldn't understand. You're not old enough yet, but you will be soon. Then, I'll have to start teaching you."
I didn't understand. I did listen. I listened every time.
"What're you gonna teach me?"
"I'll teach you the way I teach Mommy every day," he said, looking kind of sad.
I hoped Real Daddy would find me before Abby turned five.
Bad Daddy tried to make her wake up all the next day, but she wouldn't. He tried shaking her, he tried throwing water on her, he even took away all her blankets.
Every time he hit her it made me cry and he would look kind of sorry and start talking to Bella nice.
"Wake up, Vicki. Abby needs you. You've got to get better for her, baby."
Sometimes he was even nice to her when he made her take the medicine, except when it made her throw up. Then he was mad and screaming again and I cleaned it up really fast so he would stop being mad to her.
I tried making soup and tea, I tried to give her crackers, but she couldn't eat anything. Sometimes she would be still and it would scare me, sometimes she would be shaking and saying stuff I couldn't understand. She was always hot, but sometimes she said she was cold, but then she would fall asleep again.
Finally, after a couple of days, the next time he tried to give her water she actually opened her eyes.
I was so excited, but I tried to be good and stay quiet.
"Mommy?"
She looked at me and she looked scared. I thought she was trying to pull me over, but she was really not strong. I came over anyway, but then that hurt her. She started to go to sleep, but Bad Daddy was mad.
"Victoria, you need to stay awake. You've been asleep for almost three days, you've got to stay awake."
She woke up again and looked scared again. She was looking at me like she was worried, so I smiled at her. She was going to be so proud of me.
"I've been trying to help you feel better, and Daddy's been reading to me, and letting me play in my room. I helped clean…" I winked at her, waiting to see if she was going to be mad. But she winked at me back so I knew I did okay. I almost forgot about Bad Daddy until he spoke up.
"I think I know what we need to do to help you get better, Vicki. There's obviously some sort of infection in your body making you sick. I remember what my foster dad used to do to help me when I was sick. I'll be back in just a moment. Abby, make sure your mom stays awake," he said all bossy.
As soon as he walked away, Bella started being worried again.
"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" she kept asking, but her voice was all scratchy and yucky.
"No, no! He didn't hurt me!" I promised. "He just read to me like you would, had me clean a little bit, and the rest of the time I stayed in my room and played with my toys. I've been trying to help you drink water when you wake up, and lift your head up when he gives you your medicine so you won't chokeded. Are you mad at me for helping?"
Bella was always so nice. "Why would I be mad at you, sweetie? Thank you for helping me. I was just worried something could have happened to you while I was sleeping."
I didn't want to be in trouble, but I loved Bella. I didn't want to lie to her. I had to wink at her for her to understand. "No, I mean for helping."
"Oh. Helping. I don't know how I feel about that, sweetie. You know you broke your pinky promise, right?"
She did look upset with me. Maybe a little lie was okay. "Well, I asked you, and you said it was okay."
But she got all upset again, so then I felt bad. "W-what? When did I say that?"
"Well, you weren't all the way awake, but… but I just wanted to help, and you were so sick, and…you need my…real daddy… he could fix you," I said. I really was sorry. But I wanted to go home. Real home.
"It's okay, sweetie. I'm not mad. I guess I'm just glad he didn't catch you, and you didn't get hurt. I could never forgive myself if that happened," she said. She looked like she was going to cry and I felt so bad. But then Bad Daddy came back.
He had a bunch of weird stuff in his hands and Bella looked scared. That made me scared but she was holding me, so it was okay.
I think.
"James? What are you doing?" she tried to ask.
"I'm going to bleed your infection out of your body," he said, doing weird stuff on her arms. When I saw his needle, I got scared. When he started poking Bella, I started to cry.
Then she fell asleep again.
He took lots and lots of blood out of her arm. It was so gross. When he took his needle out, the blood kept going everywhere, getting on everything. But at least he let me stay with her until it was time for lunch.
"Daddy, can I wake up Mommy? I missed her. Please?" I asked, trying to use my face that gets me whatever I want. I was so happy when he nodded. I got her to wake up and she took her medicine.
Bella looked so sick. She was so pretty, but her face was a weird color and her skin was so hot. I hated that she had another owie on her arm now. She had owies everywhere.
But then she tried to get up.
"What are you doing?" I whispered, really mad because she was going to get in trouble and get more hurt.
She made me be quiet and whispered back. "I need you to pretend like I'm feeling all better. Go along with anything I say, and if you're confused, just keep quiet, okay?"
She wasn't making any sense, just like when she was asleep. I always told Bella yes, because she's really smart and she always takes good care of me. So when she winked at me, I winked back. I was still really scared when I saw her stand up all the way. Her foot looked so ugly.
"What are you doing, Vicki?" Bad Daddy yelled, scaring me again. "You need to lie back down!"
"James, you did it. I think you got the infection out of my blood. I feel so much better. Could I help you fix lunch before Abby's naptime?"
I didn't know what to say. Maybe she went crazy because she was too sick.
"Knew it would work. I've got lunch going already, but you can go back to your regular duties after naptime… And don't let yourself be getting sick again. I won't tolerate that kind of weakness. You've been a burden for long enough. I've got better things to do than wait on you hand and foot," he said, sounding mad.
She nodded and he went back to doing whatever he was doing. Bella tried to smile at me, but it was all wrong. I helped her as good as I could to the kitchen so we could eat lunch. She was trying to make it seem like she was okay, but I knew she wasn't. And she winked at me…
Oh my gosh! We're leaving!
Bella gave me a serious look that meant business, so I tried to calm down while we ate lunch.
We said thanks and he was so stupid, because he was so happy and we were going to turn his lights off. But then I got scared again when Bella got sick in the bathroom. I was afraid she was going to go back to sleep again and not wake up until Real Daddy could find her to kiss her awake. I really wanted to go. But I tried to help her until she was done being sick, but then I didn't know what to do, because she was doing a bunch of stuff that she wasn't telling me.
"Lily," she whispered. "Can you very, very quietly go get the food out of the closet? Put it here on the floor on this side of the bed, in case he opens the door, he won't be able to see it."
Oh my gosh, we were really leaving! I did what she said right away and waited to help more.
"Do me one more favor? Go over to the dresser and grab some panties and socks for both of us. And bring me a new shirt? This one feels really gross."
I was so glad she didn't want to wear that one anymore, because it smelled really bad, like throw-up and bloody stuff and stinky. I wanted so bad to not cry when she started changing, but she did have new owies. New ones had different colors than old ones. She tried to make me feel better, but it just made me cry. I gave her a big hug to make her feel better.
"We need to talk about how this is going to work. Oh! I need you to get one more thing. Very, very carefully, go get that glass. Don't take it out of the sock, just bring the whole thing over to me, okay?"
This was such a big deal. I was only allowed to use plastic scissors at home, so a real knife was a big job. I brought it over, just like my Nana taught me and gave it to her.
She was looking at it funny and moving it around weird.
"How are we going to fight him, Bella?" I wanted to know.
She looked at me funny now. "We are not going to do anything. I am going to fight him. You are going to be in here, waiting with our bags."
"What?" I screamed. That was so not fair. She needed my help. I wanted to help. I didn't want to be alone in here. "No, Bella! I have to help you! I beat up my Uncle Emmett all the time. I can help."
I always won Uncle Em. And she couldn't even walk right. But she wouldn't listen to me.
"No, Lily. That's not the same and you know it. Your Uncle Emmett would never hurt you back. He's the teddy bear, right? Well, James isn't. He's mean, and he's crazy, and there's no way I'm going to risk you like that. If you're out there when I try to fight him, you could accidentally get hurt, or he could grab you and do who knows what. Please, Lily. I'm begging you, please, please do this for me. I won't be able to concentrate on fighting him if I have to worry about you too. Please?" she asked me, almost looking like she was going to cry.
Well, I wanted to cry, too. This wasn't fair. If she tried to fight him all alone and couldn't beat him, I'd be alone. I had to try.
"But what if you need help? What if something happens to you? What will happen to me?"
"Lily," she said, sounding really tired. "I can't promise I won't get hurt fighting him. But I'm not losing. We're leaving here. Today. We can't stay here any longer. Now that my fever's broken, we've got to get out while we can. If I get any sicker, we may never be able to get away. I need you to promise me, no matter what you hear, you will stay in this room. Stay in this room until I come for you, and then be ready to run."
Why didn't she want my help? Didn't she understand what I said?
"But how are you going to run? Your foot is hurted."
"I just will. It's going to hurt, but we're leaving, Little Thing. Do you promise me?" she asked me again, sounding madder this time.
She wanted my promise. I couldn't break another promise. I already told a bad lie once when I took the food. So I pinky-promised her, copying her kisses. That was so funny.
"Alright," she said, sounding really awake now. "Here's the plan. I'm going to start dinner. I'm going to have my glass with me. When I give you our special blink, you're going to say you need to go potty, and go to our room. You will wait for me there, and you will not come out until I get you, understand? Be ready and waiting with our bags on this side of the bed. Have we got a deal?"
I didn't like not doing anything, but I already promised, dang it.
She smiled her pretty Bella smile at me. "Alright, for now, let's tuck these away in the closet, and wait for him, okay? It shouldn't be too much longer now."
I was so nervous. If she left me, I'd be all alone. Then he would hurt me. I didn't want to be hurt. But I didn't want Bella to get hurt anymore either. This was so hard! I missed my Snuffles. He always made me feel better. I missed my real daddy. He would beat up that bad daddy so good.
"Hey, come here. Lay your head on my lap… Do you want me to tell you a story? Or sing to you?"
Ooh, singing. That made me feel as good as Snuffles.
"Sing to me? I want you to sing our song," I said.
"Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you
in time - It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love, love is all you need."
Right when she finished singing with me, he opened the door.
