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Originally posted by Sea King
SNK vs Capcom Chaos looks stiff.
Originally posted by Shear Ph34r
Bitch, sniff my nuts. No one gives a shit.
Originally posted by Ampersand
This game looks ghey.
Originally posted by RIDING RED
WTF ARE U ALL BITCHING ABOUT?
Originally posted by Sea King
Oh shit! It's Ms. CAPS MODE!
Originally posted by Ampersand
lol
Originally posted by RIDING RED
IF YOUR GONNA FLAME ME FOR MY CAPS
IM GONNA FLAME YOU FOR YOUR MOM'S
POISON DICK.
Originally posted by Carlos R
^^^...uh...WTF?
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"This is retarded." Buletta shoved her notebook aside and laid on the ground. The Internet has tons of bitches and whiners. I wish the Internet were real, then I could send a giant fist flying out of these assholes' monitors.
***
The lights in the studio had faded, and the day had been successful. No more than a few hours after learning the Raging Demon, Hsien-ko had just become an international superstar in the culinary circles. The Chinese ghost had just defeated the Iron Chefs and the Seven Gods of Food Network. Now in New York City, her guest appearance on The View had turned her into an overnight sensation. She was at the top of the world, and owed it all to what the ghastly karate man had taught her.
"Mei-Ling, we've come so far!" Hsien-ko was dragging the carcass of a steer out into the freezer, while Mei-Ling sat patiently on Hsien-ko's shoulder. "This move is...instant! It literally burns the meat up with the heat of...hell! Raging Demon really...murders!"
"Sis, that's a nice name for it."
"Nice name for what?"
"Our new brand of spices! 'INSTANT HELL MURDER!'"
"Oh really? That sounds like a great name." Hsien-ko chucked the body into the freezer and locked it, and went back into her kitchen all by her lonesome, preparing more devastating dishes after the other.
"Hey, sis; is it a good thing we came back to New York of all places? Those pirate girls are gonna start chasing us down if word leaks out." Mei-Ling's little yellow "body" shivered at the thought.
"Let them come! I've got ANSATSUKEN POWER!"
***
It will never be complete until she defeats her for the Raging Demon.
Akuma scratched his head, and looking for some entertainment, grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket. It had wireless broadband access, a camera, MP3 ringtones, and could emulate CPS-3 and NAOMI games which he also played online. The cell phone has a thirty gig hard drive, and can even cook steak. He turned it upside down and looked at the words he had written on it: "This shit is pimptight."Aku is weird as hell.
Buletta was still stuck on the laptop trying to figure out just what she was supposed to do. Wait a second...what's this? As she was scrolling down a message board, she found a thread entitled "No one likes me. What should I do?" What an angsty little bitch. She clicked it, and brought up the first post.---
Originally posted by Leoanders
My life sucks and I get constantly picked on by people at school. I don't get it. All I do is watch anime and read manga, and I don't give anyone any trouble... :( Someone, please help.
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Buletta began to write a reply in CAPS MODE, but after it was chastised in the last thread, she decided to abstain from it, and instead take another approach.
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Originally posted by RIDING RED
bitch, stfu fag. i hope you get hazed in the stomach with combat boots while pregnant with heero's child. dumbass anime fan.
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She felt proud of herself. Buletta lurked on the thread for a few minutes before another reply was posted. She read it, and much to her surprise, she wasn't being flamed.
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Originally posted by Grandizer
lol pwned
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Was it true? Did Buletta really pwn? She kept refreshing the thread, hoping that she'd get more responses.
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Originally posted by Sepher Seph
What a dumb bitch. pwned
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Yes. Yes it was. She had pwned somebody. She gave herself a sigh of relief, and clicked refresh one more time; there was another reply.
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Originally posted by Stasui No Fuckyou
Good. Now come to me Buletta; before you can truly pwn, there must be one more trial.
---
She jumped off the ground and dashed to where Akuma was meditating (or rather, downloading Eminem MP3s onto his cell phone). He stood up, and placed his hand on her head.
"Now, we go to the mall." The giddy little girl in Buletta was ecstatic.
"The...the mall? Ch'yeah bitch!"
"I am glad you're excited, as you will be the one paying." Akuma felt his hand being pried off, and Buletta was visibly upset.
"The hell?! You're not gonna force me to buy anything!"
"Yes I am. I'm out of money. This cell phone is expensive as fuck." Akuma put placed his hand on her head one more time, and quickly teleported to a faraway shopping district in New York City. Hah. She still doesn't realize that whoever has the money, is the pimp...
***
Buletta had life savings. In fact, she was so dedicated to her life savings, that she could essentially retire now until the she reaches the age of 147. But she was also very violent when it came to her money. Akuma dragged her into a store which sold men's suits, and his eyes nearly watered at the site of a sharp, black coat.
"Hey, Bul', hook me up with that shit." Akuma stood silently, like a golem, in front of the clothes, salivating. To his surprise, the saliva flew across the room when Buletta slapped him upside the head.
"Bitch, that suit is brand new. Not only will we not be shopping here, but Goodwill, but we'll also get something on sale." Akuma let out a small "ooh ahh, ooh ahh, ooh ahh," and, quietly, his heart swelled with pride. "Now, let's shop for my shit." She dragged Akuma, by the ear across the mall and turned her head, browsing the stores available on this floor. Nothing of interest. But they did pass by one store, and Akuma picked himself up.
"You should shop here." Akuma pointed up at the store's title.
"Victoria's Secret?"
"You can wear those panties to dinner. That'd be pimp." Akuma was met with a roundhouse to the balls.
"Faggot, fuck you," she coldly hissed. Buletta dragged him again, until she found an appropriate place to shop.
***
The aerial weapon Albatross, salvaged from the Neo-Nazi Badds in the late 1980s, was the latest trophy of a man who was no stranger to the addiction that was collection. While he admired his recent acquisition, the Albatross was not the current concern of Rugal Bernstein. The Albatross was stored in a hangar far away, while Rugal would be able to conduct his own personal business at his retreat in Greenwich, Connecticut.
A supposed robot-turned-street fighter-turned-bounty hunter, Sentinel had found Rugal after he posted a request on a message board. And now, they face each other eye to eye, speaking.
"I am growing impatient." Rugal put his feet on his desk, angrily accosting his guest. "I sent a bounty hunter a month ago to drag his body to this room, but still no feedback. She was supposed to be the best of the best, but now I know better than to trust a woman who has a coupon in the yellow pages."
"I can kill her as well for free as a courtesy to you." Sentinel raised his head slightly. He was grasping the frying pan he had safely hidden away in his arm.
"That's awful generous of someone of your occupation." Rugal poured an agitated glass of scotch. "You drink?"
"No, thank you... I would like to be on the favorable side of a man whose destiny is to become God, Mr. Rugal." Rugal took a swift swig of his drink and took a heavy breath.
"...you flatter me. Now, go."
"There's one more thing, I need to add, Mr. Rugal..."
***
Buletta, for the first time in...months, flashed her money like bling. She just left her stretch limo, had just picked up a blood-red dress which glimmered in the pale moonlight, and Akuma was decked out in an unfortunate green-black checkered suit, but his fiery persona and appearance still made him look out to be a dynamic porn star, at the very least.
"Why'd I have you pick this restaurant? It looks shabby." Buletta sighed, but Akuma stood still.
"Because, this is a good place to dine."
"The name doesn't even sound good."
"Chinese Ghosts is a fine name."
***
Suddenly, the front door of the restaurant opened, letting in a breeze. It was no longer the time for fond chit-chat; now the offensive would begin.
Akuma gave Buletta a cold stare. Before them both were their ordered meals; a plate of pasta, chicken alfredo. They were at the top of their game. They were outfitted in some of the best clothes money could buy. ... At least she was. Looking slick, Akuma began the first offensive.
"Bitch...who do you think you are? Stepping up to me: your master...who bears the name Akuma, the most feared of all of the world's fighters?"
Buletta chewed on her alfredo, and even slurped the pasta into her mouth. She grinned.
"And you eat like a child. If I were your man...you would be an embarrassment of a pussy."
Buletta calmly sipped her glass of wine.
"Are you done Aku? First of all...I know who I am. I'm your successor; you need a successor because the old Akuma is weak now. He isn't what he used to be." Buletta got off of her seat, and in the softest voice she could muster (painfully, at that), she looked at Akuma. She appeared now as a woman whom a man would dedicate his life to. But Buletta was not looking for romance; she was looking for the power the future held. "The world needs a new Akuma. A new Satsui no Hadou. You got punked by Sagat's crouching fierce punch, and now you're nothing but a corpse of the old you. What you taught me may as well be bunk. You may call me an embarrassment of a vagina for slurping alfredo, but...I call you an embarrassment of a fighter, to be cast an excruciating death by a measly poke." Buletta whispered into his ear. "The new Akuma, because the world doesn't need the old one." She quietly went back to her seat. Then, she returned to the naive, easily excitable child she was before. "So...did I pwn you or what?"
"...your attacks were crafted well. But you did not pwn hard enough; you did not call me a bitch. Because, you know deep down in the bottom of your vile heart...that if you had said the word bitch, my cock would have suffocated you faster than you could say the period at the end of a sentence. No. You did not pwn. But you're free to try another day."
"Dammit. I thought I was cool this time too." The master and his pupil ate of their alfredo. The night would not cast upon Akuma today, for his student did not extinguish the burning sun.
***
Street Fighter, Akuma, Sagat and related characters and names © 1987-2003 CAPCOM
DarkStalkers, B.B. Hood and related characters and names © 1994-2003 CAPCOM
