Chapter XI: Operation Huckleberry
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Thorin had been in prison for two weeks and Bramble still thought he smelled fantastic. The Hobbit felt the need to bang her head against the wall, but Thorin was asleep and she was definitely not going to wake him.
Bramble hated herself. Thorin was relying on her as a friend. Just because she was in love with him…
Oh.
OH!
Bramble groaned. She had not realized until that moment she had moved past the, "I think you're rather nice to look at" stage to the "I'm giving you my heart please don't smash it" stage. It was utterly ridiculous. She could not even say what his favorite movie was and yet here Bramble was, thinking of different ways to ease the burden of the quest for her own completely selfish reasons.
Thorin sat up straight. "Burglar? Thought you said something."
"I'm fine," Bramble said.
"If you get caught again, don't try to escape. They might shoot you. I would rather have a captured burglar than a dead one."
"Pragmatic."
"Concerned."
Bramble heard the doors which led to Thorin's cell beginning to open. Thorin squeezed her hand. "Go."
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A day later, Thorin had a visitor at his door. "So, how's prison?" Bramble said through the opening of the door.
"Could be better," Thorin said dryly. Inwardly, he rejoiced Bramble was alright.
"I have a plan. I'm calling it 'Operation Huckleberry'."
"Why are you calling it such?" Thorin said.
"It's a surprise," Bramble said, "Just be ready three meals from now to go. I am going to be using a feast the Elves are having to our advantage."
"Burglar, are you doing something stupid?"
"What a silly question. Of course I'm doing something stupid."
"Baggins!"
The Hobbit was already gone.
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Bramble thanked the powers that be the Elves loved getting drunk. The two guards who were in charge of watching the monitors drank with the Elven king's butler. And what did one of the guards have? The keys and electric cards to get into all of the Dwarves' cells, of course.
The Hobbit was certain she had never been so terrified or elated save for when she signed the contract. Things could go terribly wrong or wonderfully right. Either way, she had to try.
Bramble ran through the cells and released the Dwarves. She was hugged, spun around (though Bofur stopped sooner than he usually did and without prompting), slapped on the back, and even received a kiss on the cheek from Bifur. Bramble understood enough Khuzdul to know he said something along the lines of "dear cousin".
Finally, they reached Thorin. Bramble swung open the door to find the Dwarf king sitting on his cot.
Thorin glanced up at Bramble. "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"
Bramble held out her hand. "I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you."
Thorin stood up and took her hand. "My thanks, burglar."
"Anytime. Come on. This is only the beginning of Operation Huckleberry," Bramble said.
"Lead on," Thorin said.
Bramble let go of Thorin's hand. She gave him time to greet his family and acknowledge the rest of the Company before making them move forward.
"Is it bad I have the Mission: Impossible theme is stuck in my head?" Thorin whispered to Bramble as they continued.
"I've had The Pink Panther theme stuck in my head for the past week and the Bond theme the week before," Bramble said.
The Hobbit led the Company to the cellars where food was stacked in barrels and crates. "This way."
"I don't believe it; we're in the cellars!" Kíli said.
"You were supposed to be leading us out, not further in!" Bofur said.
"I know what I'm doing!" Bramble said.
Bofur shushed her. Bramble rolled her eyes. She led them down to where several open barrels lay on their sides.
"Everyone climb into the barrels, quickly!" Bramble said.
Dwalin said, "Are you mad? They'll find us!"
"No they won't, I promise you. Please, you must trust me!" Bramble pleaded.
The Dwarves began to argue amongst themselves about what to do. Bramble gave an exasperated, pleading look to Thorin who stood next to her.
"Get. In. The. Barrels," Thorin growled at the Company.
The Dwarves did as their king commanded.
Thorin grabbed Bramble's arm and whispered in her ear. "For the record, this is the most dangerous and stupid idea I have ever heard."
Bramble replied, "For the record, going after a dragon is the most dangerous and stupid idea I have ever heard."
He released the Hobbit's arm. She gave a mock curtsy and directed him to his own barrel.
The fourteen Dwarves each found a barrel and climbed in. Bramble counted them over three times before she went to where the lever was.
"What do we do now?" Bofur asked.
All of the Dwarves stuck their heads out of the barrels and looked at the Hobbit. Thorin quite literally slid his way out. Bramble gave a sweet smile. "Hold your breath."
Bofur asked, "Hold my breath? What do you mean?"
Bramble pulled the lever. The floor tilted and the barrels rolled down the slope into the tributary below. The Dwarves screamed as they fell.
The Hobbit did a little dance. It had work! It took a moment for her to realize she was still in the Elven hall.
Sirens went off.
Bramble ran towards the edge of the trap door. She saw Tauriel coming towards her.
"GERONIMO!" Bramble screamed as she fell.
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Thorin held onto rocks on either side of him to keep the Dwarves from going forward. They would not leave their burglar behind.
"GERONIMO!" Bramble screamed. She did a back flop into the water.
After an unbearably long moment, Bramble's head popped out of the water. She grabbed onto Nori's barrel.
"Huckleberry Finn? Really?" Thorin said.
Bramble shouted, "Literature major!"
"Well done, professor!" Thorin said with a wide grin.
Bramble waved her hand again. "Go!"
"Someone put the Hobbit in a barrel," Thorin said, "We don't want her to be eaten by alligators."
Nori and Dori slung Bramble into Nori's barrel while the Hobbit yelled in terror, "ALLIGATORS?"
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A/N: I am not a fan of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, but as soon as I realized I was going to be using the Mississippi River for the barrel scene, I had to make the reference.
Also, I found this pic after I already had my first read through.
